Chapter Text
Dipper gently touched Mabel’s face, trying to wake her. She slowly opened her eyes, only to turn away again or cover them with the blanket, avoiding her brother’s voice.
“Come on, Mabel. You need to eat dinner.”
“Liar… Leave me alone. I just had lunch.”
“Wake up. Stop sleeping.”
“Leave… me alone…”
He pulled the blanket away in one quick motion. They had been right. All this time, it had felt like he had been walking around with a blindfold over his eyes, and now reality had hit him straight in the face. Yes, she was thinner. Yes, she was paler. They had all overlooked it.
“Dipper!”
“Come on. We’ll have dinner, and then I’ll leave you alone.”
“No. Give that back. I’m not hungry.”
“We’re not asking you. We’re going now. Otherwise, I’ll drag you to the table myself.”
“We’re?”
“Come on. Don’t make me keep insisting.”
“Can you bring me a sweater? Please?”
Dipper sighed, somewhat frustrated. He wasn’t going to let her out of his sight, so instead he took off the sweater he was wearing and placed it over his legs.
“Come on…”
“It stinks…”
He grabbed her by the arms and dragged her toward the living room. She protested, but he simply ignored every word she said. He had heard enough from their parents to know he couldn’t give in, not even a little, to his sister’s pushing and complaining.
The four of them were sitting at the table, a full plate of meat, mashed potatoes, and vegetables sitting in front of her. She could feel everyone waiting for her to do what she was supposed to do.
“Mabel…”
“I’m fine. Enough…”
“We really want to help you with whatever is going on,” her father said.
“You don’t even talk to your brother anymore. None of us understand what’s happening.”
“Because nothing is happening. I’m fine. Enough…”
“Answer me. When was the last time you actually finished a plate of food? Is this about your appearance, honey?”
“No… Mom… Nothing is happening…”
Her voice quickly broke, and her eyes filled with tears.
“I’m fine. I’m really fine… I’m fine…”
Mabel pushed her chair backward, its legs scraping against the floor. Everyone watched her, trying not to break down as she fought to keep herself from crying.
“Mabel…”
Dipper tried to stop her, but she dodged every attempt he made to grab her.
“Enough! Leave me alone. Stop making this into something it isn’t. I’m fine…”
She walked away from the scene. She didn’t want to see anyone anymore. She felt so ashamed. It was as if all the cracks she had been desperately trying to hold together had finally shattered into pieces, leaving her with nothing to hold on to.
She simply climbed the stairs, which seemed to stretch endlessly with every step. Tears ran down her cheeks as she repeated to herself that she was fine, that she didn’t need this kind of attention, that she didn’t want to worry anyone. She could handle everything.
But she couldn’t even keep herself standing.
The air seemed harder to reach with every step. She could barely feel her hand gripping the railing. Her feet were growing weaker, and her body seemed to be working against her. She never made it to the top. She never reached the door to her bedroom.
Everything went black.
Her parents wore completely serious expressions. Things had gotten out of control.
All they could do was wait for her anger to subside before trying to talk to her again. They really needed to try again and again, no matter how much she might hate them for it by the end of the day.
His thoughts were shattered by a loud crash from behind him. It felt like an explosion inside his head as he turned toward the sound.
It had come from the stairs.
He jumped to his feet, trying to run toward them, but his mother grabbed him and stopped him.
He watched his father run in that direction.
He wished what came next had been nothing more than a nightmare. He wished he could wake up and find Mabel asleep on the couch, curled up against him.
He desperately wished this were all just a horrible nightmare.
He slowly followed his mother, and then he saw his sister lying on the floor. His father was holding her in his lap, the phone pressed to his ear as he spoke rapidly, giving whoever was on the other end nothing but information.
Dipper couldn’t stop looking at her face, completely soaked with tears, or at the way her chest struggled for air, rising and falling constantly. He could hear her small whimpers.
His father had forbidden him from getting any closer. According to the ambulance dispatcher, she could have injured her chest in the fall, and they had been told not to move her.
Those minutes felt endless. He didn’t want to look away, but at the same time, he couldn’t keep watching that scene without being able to do anything.
The sound of the ambulance announced its arrival. Paramedics rushed into the house, shining a flashlight over his sister, placing an oxygen mask over her face, and transferring her onto a stretcher.
They asked his parents questions. His mother could barely answer any of them without covering her mouth with one hand. She was nervous, barely able to keep herself together, only stroking Mabel’s head as they carried her outside, her eyes half-open.
His mother would go with her.
His father hugged him and kissed the top of his head.
“Everything is going to be okay.”
How could he possibly be so sure?
Soon, all the movement gave way to an empty house, the sound of the siren fading into the distance and then silence. The kind of silence that seemed to tear everything apart.
Dipper stood staring at the closed door while his father hurried up and down the stairs, gathering things and continuing to make phone calls.
Everything felt still, eternal, frozen.
The table was still set. Three plates had barely been touched, while the fourth remained completely untouched. There were notebooks and sheets of paper scattered across the living room, most of them blank.
How had I abandoned her this much? Why didn’t I follow her when she got up? Why did I respect her damn space?
When had they ever been like this?
There had always been two of them. The two of them against the world, when they were children and even at the beginning of their teenage years.
And now there were only blank pages, abandonment, and deterioration. Because he had given Mabel room to destroy herself.
He had abandoned her.
All of his thoughts were shattered by his father’s shout. He threw a jacket at him and opened the door, leaving their darkened house behind as they followed the rest of their family.
His father drove nervously. Every now and then, he changed the radio station, but neither of them wanted to say a word.
Dipper lost himself in the reflection on the window, staring out into a night where not a single star could be seen.
Soon they stopped at a red light, and that was when he felt his father’s hand rest on his head.
“It’s okay. She’ll be fine. I really need you to be strong for her, and for yourself.”
He only sank deeper into his seat. He wanted to tell his father that he promised, but right now he felt like absolute garbage, like the worst brother in the world.
He had put his sister second because of so many other things.
He couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he could have caught her before things got this bad. Even just hours earlier, instead of dragging her to the table. He could have done a thousand different things that might have led to a different ending.
Not this one.
The hospital felt completely different beneath its harsh white lights. People were constantly moving around them, quick footsteps echoing through the halls, questions being asked at the front desk.
Dipper simply followed his father. He wasn’t ready to hear anything, and the expressions on everyone’s faces only broke him further.
After several hallways and a couple of questions, they found his mother. She immediately fell into his father’s arms, breaking down in tears—the tears she had been holding back since they left home.
Dipper approached slowly, but she quickly wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing was okay.