Chapter Text
Lara Jean's eyes were glued to the crumpled envelope in her sisters hands.
Kitty sent Lara Jean a knowing look, a hint of conspicuousness in her eye. "Well? Do you have anything to confess to my dearest Covey sister?" Kitty said, waving the letter in the air.
"I honestly didn't know it was there, I haven't cleaned that shelf in forever" But despite saying this, there was almost a moment of recognition in Lara Jean's mind. It was like she always knew she had the letter, but it was erased misplaced, among other things in her room. It was bewildering though. Her losing a letter? There have been many things that have disappeared throughout Lara Jean's life: lasted night homework, essay papers, her $60 Hollister sweater (which is actually sitting in Kitty's closet right now), but never a letter. In fact, it was always the short notes and random knick-knack from others that she kept closest to her heart. The ones that would've been lost in-between storage boxes and later abandoned in an attic. It was the little things, the things that were worth nothing that became everything (especially her mother's things). So losing a handwritten letter like that was impossible...right?
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Dear Lara,
I have never really written a letter before. You know, your probably the first girl I'm mailing a letter to. Or more like handing to, since I don't really know how the post office works. You won't hear from me in awhile since I am moving, but I don't think I could've just left you with a good bye, even if you never watched Star Wars. You were a really nice person to talk too.
I hope you ace your science project for the 6th grade science fair. I wish I had more time to help being your science partner and all, but life is what it is I guess. I left you some of my notes I analysed from the experiment inside this envelope so it should be helpful. Even though you made it explicitly clear that you didn't like science. Which honestly makes no sense to me because isn't baking basically chemistry? Nevertheless your cookies that you would bake for the class and school donations charities were always delicious. Aunt May is still asking for your recipe. I tried baking them the way you taught me, but I only watched you once so they turned out more like rocks instead. Then again baking was more your thing than mine.
I'm really going to miss you when I moved to New York City. I get that we've started talking only for a few months now. You probably thought I was just the "Little Einstein" who helped you with your homework, but to me, you were my friend. It's just that it's so easy for me to open up to, you know? I guess this letter is my final good-bye to you, Lara Jean...It's funny I didn't know how close you were to me until now. Maybe, by chance or fate, we'll meet again, that's what I wish will happen anyways.
From: P.B.P
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Both of the Covey sisters were staring at the letter. Lara Jean's eyes were almost bulging out from her sockets. Kitty on the other hand, was wearing a sly grin, becoming fully smug in the moment.
"This 'Little Einstein' sounds surely interesting, Lara Jean. He even wrote you a letter and it isn't too bad either. He even complimented YOUR baking. How sweet is that?"
Lara Jean was still recovering from the shock from the letter she just read. 'Did I really forget I had another letter lying around? But I didn't even know it was there in the first place! Even if I did, I would've remembered the word written in the letter. They were so kind and thoughtful. I would've never forgotten them!'- she thinks as her brain goes through every possible scenario to why this letter came into her possession. 'Also who's P.B.P?!!' Her mind turned blank.
"Uh, Lara Jean? Are you there?", Kitty questioned.
"Yeah? Yeah, I'm here" Lara Jean respond was filled with uncertainty, almost contradicting her reply.
Kitty raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huhh, well since you ARE with the living, everyone is asking the same question? What is your relationship with this boy? hmmm?"
"Who is everyone?" Lara Jean suddenly feels conscious about this invisible audience Kitty was taking about.
"You, me, the dust bunnies" Kitty listed off the top her head "That creepy doll downstairs that Margot refuses to get rid of-"
"You know she's had that thing since she was a baby right?"
"Yeah, and does that still dismiss the fact that the doll is most likely haunted"
Lara Jean chuckled, Kitty never liked that doll. Margot would tease her all the time for it.
"No, I guess not."
"Case and point", Kitty said going back to the original topic "Anyways, this mystery guy, who is he?"
"Honestly, Kitty I don't know", Lara Jean sighed.
"You don't know?" She stared, her expression framing the skepticism in her face.
"Really, I don't know who this boy is. I truly wished I did, but no memories sparks up no matter how hard I try. It's so frustrating", she replies, rubbing her fingers against her temples. "The letter was so sweet! And it was his first letter too! How in the world would I forget something like that?!! Apparently I did though, because I can't recall a single word from the letter!!", Lara Jean was out of breath by the end of her rant.
"Ohh-kayy so this was a bigger problem than I thought" Kitty said, her eye filled with incredulity, unsure how to go about the now, curating dilemma.
"You think?"
"So just to brainstorm", Kitty hummed "Maybe you received a letter, but never opened it?"
Lara Jean stared at her, "Really? Me of all people?"
"Yeah, I couldn't believed that either. You wouldn't just dismiss a letter addressed to you, especially a love letter."
"How do you know it was a love letter?" Lara said, sputtering.
"I don't know... this letter sounds pretty touchy-feely to me~" Kitty teased, as she winked at her sister. "Oh, maybe you got a concussion after reading the letter!"
"That might be plausible-", Lara Jean bit her lip, "The problem is I have no recollection of this guy at all. Like no memory about a partner I had for the science fair. I did the project by myself if I remember correctly" It was weird though. She can't recall how she came up with the said science project. She even won the blue ribbon that year, which is weirder because she clearly remembers failing her 'Atomic Elements Structure' test that first semester. It was so bad that her dad had to hire a tutor from her class. Wait a tutor?
"Hey Kitty, do you remember the tutor dad hired when I was in 6th?"
"Why? Is he the guy?"
"I'm not sure. It's all fuzzy like it happened, but it didn't."
"Damn, maybe you actually did have a concussion", Kitty said in disbelief.
"Kitty", She hissed at her sister, "Watch it"
"Sorry, I'm just astonished that you literally forgot a whole human being. And for the record I don't know anything about a tutor. I was too young to even remember that happening anyways. Your best bet is to ask Margot when she calls." Lara Jean took a second to process what her sister said.
"It's not exactly unbelievable" Kitty kept going, after Lara Jean didn't respond,"I mean it is usually seen in movies, but not unheard of. Who knows maybe he's your childhood sweetheart."
Lara Jean's head started spinning, it was filling with the 'what if' scenario about this mystery boy.
'What if we did have a close relationship?' 'Have I embarrassed myself in front of him' 'Did I have a crush on him?' 'Do he have a crush on me?' Does he STILL miss me?'. Just as Lara Jean thoughts were spiraling, it then came to a crashing stop.
There are three things Lara Jean realized about this situation:
1. She's not in 6th grade anymore, she's going to college so there's no point to get work up.
2. She has no recollection of this guy, and 6 years with is enough time to move on with your life.
3. Lara Jean never had expressed her love for someone, she always kept that to herself.
So given these 3 truths she calmed her nerves and responded to Kitty. "He was most likely not my childhood sweetheart. In the letter it says he has only known me for a few months. A pretty short time to fall in love don't you think?" Lara Jean said, quirky her eye's up.
"And you're right, getting a concussion isn't the craziest thing to happen" Lara Jean reasoned.
Kitty nodded along in agreement.
"You're probably right Lara Jean" Kitty said with contentment, "Now our second pressing matter to solve, what this guy's name."
"Did he not write it on the envelope?"
"Nope, just the initials P.B.P on the letter itself"
"You don't say" Lara Jean murmured, as she got back to packing, now that she was less tense, still curious about the letter.
"Let's see, Paul Brown Phillip? No, that doesn't sound right. Preston Brandon Patton? That could be an option, but Preston does not seem like a dude to write a heart felt letter."
"How could you be judging someone's writing skills based on their name?"
"I'm not saying someone named Preston can't write, but were talking about a guy in 6th grade though. 90% of the male population brains haven't even developed enough to properly like someone, let alone write a heartfelt letter to a girl. Preston could been the fastest kid on the playground, but writing this letter? No way."
"Your logic speaks for itself, I guess" Lara Jean noted, as she stuffed another pile of clothes in her suitcase.
"How about Piersson Blake Piper? Or what if P.B.P. stands for something important? Like Peanut Butter & Jelly?!" Kitty said, becoming lost in thought of who this mystery letter guy could be.
"That's P.B.J not P.B.P" Lara Jean corrected, also thinking about potential names. 'She never met a guy named Piersson before. The nickname Little Einstein fits better for some reason' Lara Jean thinks back to the chemistry textbook where the folded envolope was found in.
"I'm never going to figure out who this guy is am I?" Kitty groaned, pinching the corners of the letter, careful not to tear.
"Nope and neither will I. Now can you please help me clean my room? Like how it was your purpose for being here 45 minutes ago?"
"Fine" Kitty complied dragging her feet across the floor to another bile of clothing, leaving the letter on the desk.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
After finally being able to finish packing her suitcase and the Good Will bin that Kitty thought "was absolutely needed" Lara Jean is finally has time to decompress her emotions, relaxes, and sit at her empty desk...with the new discovered letter in her hands. Which in Lara Jean defense was the letter was something she had un-explainable interest about. She also had the chemistry book where the letter was hidden in, but she had significantly less interest in the textbook than she did the letter. There were so many questions she had, and only a few answers.
Like how the person writing the letter had to talk to her, atleast for a few months. This guy seem to like watching Starwars, a franchise Lara Jean wasn't really into. He probably really smart too, given the well put together data notes that were also in the envelope. And he enjoys her baking which was kinda adorable. Not many people knew Lara Jean baked the cookies herself for school fundraiser. Everyone would assume it was from some random bakery across the school (which is technically a compliment in itself).
That's why reading the letter had made her heart jump a little inside (even though she was 18). Lara Jean had always been swayed by acts of endearments, whether it was platonic or romantic relationships (always one-side of course). It was also the first guy to write her a letter. So this letter definitely made her stomach flip a little while reading it. That is why she worried about not remembering, how could she forget someone thought of her as a friend they could open up too? Even if the person is not in her life anymore and forgotten her it's the principals of the situation that upset her.
Even so, she's still happy that she found the letter. It's a nice feeling to have someone care for you even if it was a good-bye.
Lara pushes the letter to her chest, feeling her heart beat go a little faster, turning her head to the now cleaned out closet where her 5 love letters were stashed. She looked back at the slightly crumpled letter in her hand smiling to herself. 'Why not? I would've probably crushed on the guy if I knew him. I can tell by the way he writes' Lara Jean thought to herself as she grabbed a notepad and pen from her backpack.
The thing was Lara Jean wasn't exactly in love with this guy who wrote her the letter. She is certain that she couldn't recall anything about this 'P.B.P' person. She did, however, become smitten with the writing itself. How bold yet authentic it was, like it was true thoughts of the boy who was writing it. And the courageous he had to give her the letter, something she's never done before. It is almost bitter-sweet if you think about it.
So she decides there's only one thing she can do as she puts the paper on her desk and pen in hand.
"I'll write a platonic love letter"
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Dear Little Einstein,