Chapter Text
Hinata sat with her hands in her lap, absentmindedly reading over the menu as she waited for Sakura to join her. Without her kids to keep her busy, Hinata had been going stir crazy. Naruto and Sasuke had decided to take a trip to the Sunagakure and took the kids with them for a family vacation. Hinata had initially refused to let her children go, but Boruto was persistent and begged constantly for her to change her mind, especially since Sarada was allowed to go. So Hinata relented, and Himawari refused to be left behind, so she was going as well.
Hinata had tried to keep herself from crying when Naruto came to pick up the kids. She had thought she hid it well, but the kids had hugged her extra tight, as if they knew she needed it. When Naruto had looked at her with such sympathy during pick-up, she nearly burst into tears right there in the entryway. She had cleaned the entire house twice over during the day to try and keep herself occupied, but by the evening she couldn't stand around in her empty house much longer. She called Sakura and asked her to dinner, and Sakura readily agreed.
“Yo! Hinata!” Hinata jolted slightly as a brash voice interrupted her thoughts. She bounced slightly as she was joined by a heavier body in the booth.
“Hi, Kiba,” she smiled gently at her friend. He smiled back at her.
“What’re you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re eating alone,”
“Actually, Sakura and I planned to have dinner together,” Hinata answered, watching the look of relief that passed over Kiba’s sharp features.
“Oh, that’s good,” he leaned over the table, “I’m here with some guys from work,” Kiba motioned to a table across the restaurant with some shinobi still in uniform. Hinata recognized Shino and waved politely.
“Long day at work?” she asked graciously. Kiba groaned loudly and slumped back in his seat, making Hinata giggle at his dramatics.
“You have no idea! It’s just one thing after another with these missions lately. I put in for some travel assignments, but we’ll see if they get approved,” he huffed.
Hinata didn’t recall Kiba advancing to Jōnin level. He’d become a Chunin with the rest of their group a while ago, and that had been enough for him. He had continued working as a shinobi, a good one, and he seemed all the more happy for it. He may not have been Jōnin level like Lee or Shikamaru, or god-level like Naruto and Sasuke, but he’d always been strong enough as he was.
He knew about the divorce, and the torrid details of the circumstances that led to said divorce. All of their friends did; it wasn't exactly something one could keep a secret for long. Their friend group had been split on the issue of loyalty, and who to side with. Of course everyone was upset that Naruto hurt Hinata and Sakura, but he was still their friend, and truthfully, no one was shocked that Naruto and Sasuke eventually got together, even if it was the result of an affair. The girls had all reached out to Hinata, letting her know they'd be there for her if she needed anything, and made a point to reiterate those words anytime she dared to leave her house. Kiba was a good friend of both Naruto and Hinata, but evenso, he made it clear, through actions more than words, that he was there if she needed a friend. He didn't pester her and constantly ask if she was alright, because of course she wasn't, and she appreciated that about him.
“And how is Akamaru?” Hinata smoothed her hands over her skirt. Kiba perked up considerably, making the Hyuga smile at the familiarity.
“He’s great! Still comes with me on all my missions,” he said proudly, “He’d love to see you. I wish you’d come around more,” Hinata blushed and looked down.
“Hey guys!” Sakura showed up, smiling down at the two, “I hope I’m not interrupting,”
“Nah, I was just about to head back to my table,” Kiba smiled and stood up from the booth, “I’ll see you around, Hinata,”
Hinata watched Kiba walk away. The two of them had been closer when they were younger while she was still a working shinobi. After she started dating Naruto, she spent most of her time with him and took on even less missions. Even before they got married, Hinata had practically retired already. Then she had been so busy once she had children, and being Naruto’s wife meant she was always busy taking care of their home and their family while he was off on dangerous missions and becoming Hokage. She’d never even introduced Boruto or Himawari to her team. They’d met Shino through the academy, and Kiba hadn't met them properly, he just ran into them with Naruto a few years ago. She didn’t know why she never bothered to introduce her family to the people she was closest to as a child. Her entire life revolved around Naruto, and she supposed that meant there wasn’t enough room for anyone or anything else. Or rather, she didn’t make room for anyone or anything else.
“You look serious,” Sakura tilted her head from across the table, “Everything okay?”
“Yes, sorry,” Hinata shook her head slightly, “I was just a little distracted,”
Sakura smiled sympathetically and reached across the table to squeeze Hinata’s hand.
“It’s hard with them gone,” Hinata sighed and squeezed back.
“This is the longest I’ve ever been away from them,” she bit her lip, “Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Naruto isn’t ready to have them for a whole week一and in another village,”
“Hinata,” Sakura interrupted, “Breathe,” Hinata took a shaky breath, letting out a big exhale.
“Sorry,” Hinata blushed, looking back at the menu, “I’m a mess,” she chuckled anxiously.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sakura reassured, “I’m stressed too. Sasuke is responsible enough to take care of Sarada, but…he’s so awkward, and he doesn’t always understand social cues. I worry Sarada won’t have a good time because he’s一well, he’s weird,”
Hinta tried to cover her snickers behind her hand while Sakura laughed more openly. They sobered up slightly when the waitress came to take their orders, then let out a few more giggles once they were alone.
“Oh, sorry,” Hinata wiped the tears from her eyes, “It’s just nice to hear something negative about…him,”
“About Sasuke,” Sakura nodded, “Yeah, he’s a socially inept, middle-aged man who is struggling to bond with his pre-teen daughter,”
“Right,” Hinata smiled, “but…he’s ok to be around her, right?” she asked hesitantly.
“Of course,” Sakura waved her friend off, “and he’d never let anything happen to Boruto or Hima either. He may not be…‘normal’, but he’s capable, and very protective of those under his care,”
“That’s good,” Hinata said, trying not to think of the implications of how Sakura had phrased her words,“and I’m sure Naruto will make sure everyone has a good time,”
The waitress showed up with the cocktails and appetizers. They both thanked the waitress and started their meal.
“Well, look at us,” Sakura held up her glass, “having dinner and actually saying a few nice words about our husbands,” Hinata held her glass up as well.
“Ex-husbands,” Hinata corrects her fellow divorcee quietly. Sakura’s smile slips.
“Yeah,” Sakura shakes her head, “Sorry. That kind of snuck up on me,” she took a swig of her cocktail and motioned to the waitress for another.
Sakura had no real excuse. They both knew she didn't. She and Sasuke had been divorced for over a year, and separated long before then.
“Me too,” Hinata played along anyways, and sipped her drink daintily.
The waitress brings Hinata’s curry and Sakura’s sashimi.The food is good, and the drinks keep coming. Hinata could never hold her liquor, so Sakura does the drinking for both of them. Sakura’s cheeks were flushed as their plates were almost cleared. It was nice to be with a friend and enjoy good food, and laugh. They really needed to do this more.
“I should probably stop,” Sakura giggled and set her glass aside. She waved their waitress over and asked for some water.
“It’s good to see you happy,” Hinata smiled gently, “And I’m happy to be here,”
“That’s good,” Sakura leaned back in her seat, “You deserve to be happy too,”
It was true. They did deserve to be happy.
“I’m worried Boruto and Hima will like him better than me,” Hinata said suddenly, looking down at her tea. Sakura’s eyes widened slightly.
“Love Naruto more than you? Come on! You know they love you and Naruto just the same. Sure they’re excited that he’s finally giving them some attention, but that doesn’t mean一”
“I'm not talking about Naruto,” the Hyuga woman interrupted. She gripped her teacup as Sakura seemed to process her friend’s words.
“Oh,” Sakura cleared her throat, “You’re worried about Sasuke,”
“Aren’t you worried about Naruto?” Hinata looked up at her friend. Sakura looked down, considering.
“I don’t know,” Sakura answered honestly, “Sarada’s been obsessed with Naruto her whole life…I’ve known for a while she adores him, and maybe likes him better than me or her dad,”
“Oh,”
“But we’re in different predicaments,” Sakura reached across the table for Hinata’s hand.
“Are we?” Hinata asked, “Aren’t we in the exact same predicament?”
“Well, yes, but,” Sakura squeezed her hand, “I meant that Sarada has always admired Naruto, and Sasuke was never around, so she never had a father figure. Your kids have always had Naruto, even if he was always working. And they’d never, ever forget that you’ve done so much for them,”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Hinata sighed, “They get to be the fun parents, and we still have to be the ones to make sure nothing falls apart,”
“Isn’t that how it’s always been though?” Sakura laughed bitterly.
“Maybe it has,”
Hinata enjoyed dinner, even if it had taken a slightly melancholy turn. They paid their tab and left for the night. Kiba caught Hinata’s attention again as they were leaving, and she waved and smiled back at him. Hinata’s house was closer, but she dreaded being alone in that big house again. Sakura could see the anguish on her friend’s face, and invited her to stay the night. Hinata readily accepted.
Hinata now sat in Sakura’s living room while Sakura made a pot of tea. Hinata looked around Sakura’s home, she hadn't been here in a while. She picked up the photo that sat on one of the tables. It was the team portrait of team 7 from when they were younger. Sakura and Kakashi could both be seen smiling gleefully while Naruto and Sauke were both glaring. Sasuke’s gaze was trained on the camera, looking through it rather than at it. Naruto’s eyes were trained right on Sasuke, as they always seemed to be.
“Seems like another lifetime now, right?” Hinata set the picture down as Sakura rejoined her, setting the tea tray down, “Those were the days,”
Sakura busied herself pouring two mugs for them, handing Hinata the first. Hinata thanked her friend graciously, and they sat in silence for a while more.
“What was it like being their teammate?” Hinata asked quietly, stirring her tea.
“Terrible,” Sakura waved the question off, “But we don’t need to dredge that all up,”
Sakura didn't like to talk about those days. There were good times of course, times where Team 7 went on crazy adventures together, became a family, and grew together. But Sasuke was absent for so long, and now with how much she despised Naruto, those memories were sufficiently sullied.
“What else is there to talk about?” Hinata asked, honestly.
“Well,” Sakura cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably, “have you been seeing anyone?”
Hinata felt her cheeks warm and decidedly didn’t make eye contact with Sakura. What a question. Of course she wasn’t seeing anyone. It was too soon after the divorce, and she was busy taking care of her kids, and taking care of their home.
“No,” Hinata finally answered, “I think it’s too soon. And…I don’t think I’ll be dating after all this,”
“Oh, don’t say that,” Sakura set her cup down, “It’s been a year now, you’ve more than earned the right to have some fun,”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” Hinata sipped her tea and decided to flip the conversation back on her friend, “What about you? Have you been seeing anyone,”
Sakura chuckled nervously, tucking her pink hair behind her ears.
“Well, no, but I’ve been so busy with work. And no one has ever really caught my attention other than…you know,”
“Right,” Hinata nodded.
She was the same way. Naruto had always been the one she loved. From the moment he approached her as a little girl, her attention never wavered. It was always him, and only him that she ever wanted. Only he could send her heart into a tizzy, making her lose her breath and feel faint.
“But you’re different,” Sakuras continued, “I mean, you’ve had to have had someone else you liked. It couldn’t have just been all Naruto. I mean…he’s Naruto,”
Hinata giggled and shook her head.
“No, it’s only been him,”
Sakura pouted and seemed unconvinced. Sakura's feelings for Naruto never crossed into romantic territory. She had loved him of course, and he wasn’t completely unattractive, but he wasn’t anywhere near the caliber in looks compared to some of the other men she’d met. Not like Sasuke, who was always the most gorgeous person in the room. But she supposed Naruto's looks did something for Hinata. Even so, she wasn’t wholly convinced of Hinata's one-track mind.
“Kiba seemed happy to see you,” Sakura smirked playfully.
Hinata flushed fiercely, coughing as her tea went down the wrong pipe. Her friend gave her a knowing look.
“W-We haven’t talked in a while. Things have been a bit crazy,”
“Yeah, but he obviously still thinks highly of you,” Sakura pressed, “Did you ever consider him?”
“Sakura!”
Hinata felt the urge to cover her blushing face like she used to as a teenager. Of course she never considered Kiba. He was her friend and teammate, someone she trusted and confused in, but never thought of romantically. He was just someone who’d been a constant in her life from the time she’d entered the academy. Kiba was just someone who was always there, someone whose presence she never gave a second thought about, like the sun in the sky.
“They’re very alike,” Sakura teased, “You seem to have a type: loud bone-heads,”
“Kiba and Naruto are nothing alike,” Hinata wheedled, “I’ll concede that they’re both loud, but that’s where their similarities end,”
“Right,” Sakura cajoled, smoothing out a wrinkle in her dress, “Why’d you stop talking to him once you and Naruto got together?”
Hinata huffed and did her best to give Sakura a serious, if not unconvincing look.
“I know where you’re going with this, but it’s not like that,” Hinata drove her argument forward, “Kiba’s a good man. He was a wonderful friend and teammate, and I’ve always regarded my time with him and team 8 fondly. But he never made me feel the way Naruto did. He’s never brought me to my knees with his smile, or made me into a stuttering mess with one of his speeches. He’s never made me want to give every ounce of my person to him without question. I’ve never lost myself when I’m around him, Sakura,”
Hinata clenched her fists in her lap as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She got lost in her speech, but she felt like she couldn't stop. It felt like she needed to keep going; to justify that Sakura was making a mistake. She could see her friend regarding her questionably. Sakura leaned forward, her eyes scanning Hinata’s face.
“So, in other words,” Sakura speaks slowly, like she’s regarding a wounded animal, “you’ve just always been able to be yourself around him,”
Those words hung there, suspended in time and space, like Hinata was now. Herself? Yes, of course she was herself around Kiba. But she was herself around Naruto too! Yes, she was always nervous and shy around him when they were teenagers, but that’s just who she was. Never mind that she could be so carefree when she was with Kiba, and could take his jabs and teasing no problem. And maybe she’d put her needs and desires aside to satisfy Naruto, but that was her choice! It’s what she wanted! It’s what was good for them! Kiba may not have ever let Hinata make herself so small in his presence, but that was different! Kiba didn't need Hinata like Naruto did. Naruto needed someone who could take care of him and give him a family, someone who didn’t have an identity outside of being the Hokage’s wife and mother to his children.
That was exactly what Hinata wanted. She wanted Naruto. She wanted to be his wife; to be the mother to his children, and nothing else. She didn’t need anything else. Naruto was all she ever wanted, and once he finally accepted her, there was no room for anyone except him. And she was fine with that, she didn't need anyone besides Naruto. She didn't need to see the way Kiba looked at her as she made herself smaller and smaller for Naruto. She didn’t need to watch him continue his work as a shinobi and be happy despite her leaving him. She didn’t need to think about another man, and what life would’ve been like if he was still in her life. Thinking about it now was painful enough. Because for all his flaws; his arrogance, his brashness, his indelicacy, Kiba would never have betrayed Hinata the way Naruto had.
“Hinata?” Sakura reached out to her friend. Hinata blinked, realizing she had tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Hinata wiped her eyes, embarrassed.
“Don’t apologize,” Sakura smiled gently, “Things got kind of heavy. I wasn’t trying to start something about Kiba,”
Oh, but start something, she had. Or rather, she made Hinataa actually examine something that had been so familiar and routine, that she’d forgotten why it was there in the first place.
“It’s fine,” Hinata waved her friend off, “I guess…my conviction in Naruto isn’t as strong as yours in Sasuke afterall,”
Sakura smiled wryly, nearly grimacing.
“It’s not something I feel inclined to brag about,” Sakura looked out the window, chuckling ruefully, “That man walked all over me our entire lives, and I happily played the doormat. Even now, after everything. After the damned affair with my best friend of all people, I still love him. I still think about him everyday, and…I think about how I’d take him back in a second if he showed up asking to come home,”
Sakura didn’t know if she felt ashamed as she spoke. She could recognize how pathetic she sounded, wanting a man who’d done nothing but betray her and leave her behind at every turn. But it was the truth, sad as it may be. She knew it was for not. She knew Sasuke was never going to come back to her, he would never beg her for forgiveness, or throw himself on his sword for the woman that had given him everything. But, Sakura supposed that Sasuke hadn’t really been hers to begin with, but she’d let herself live in the delusion that he was, at one time.
It was easier to coach Hinata through all this rather than reflect on her own actions and feelings. Naruto and Sasuke weren't the same, Sakura reiterated to herself. Naruto didn't have Sasuke's hypnotic beauty or possess his raw magnetism. Sakura was under his spell from the beginning, and there was no getting around that, even now.
“If I heard some other sad divorcee say what I just did, I’d tell them to get up and have some damn self respect,” Sakura tossed her head back, laughing, as if any of this was actually funny.
Hinata watched her friend, and Sakura couldn’t nail down what the look on Hinata’s face meant. Hinata stood, coming to sit next to Sakura and hold her hand.
“Sakura,” she spoke gently, like she always did, “get up and have some d-damned self respect,”
The Hyuga woman stuttered slightly, not comfortable swearing so casually, but her conviction was strong. Sakura stared at her friend for a while. Even if Hianata was just repeating the words Sakura had said herself, it still felt like a cold plunge. A long overdue cold plunge. Sakura shook her head slightly, smiling, then laughing. Hinata joined in shortly after before the two women broke into a fit of giggles. It was a dopamine release they both needed, and were grateful for as they looked at each other once calmed down.
“Come on,” Sakura pat Hinata’s knee before standing and heading towards the stairs, “Let’s get you set up in the guest room,”