Chapter Text
I secured the lamp on top of the rooftop, biting my lip as I tried to drown out the sounds of the terrified citizens in the streets below me. My ODM gear felt strange and unfamiliar after so many months without wearing it, but muscle memory had kicked in easily. It had been nine months since the forum, since we’d learned that the world still wasn’t ready for a peaceful coexistence with our island. I remembered the way my heart had sunk into the pit of my stomach, glancing over to look at Jean’s clenched jaw as his hands curled into fists. It looked like our future was going to have to wait a bit longer.
That was the day Eren had left. For nine long months, we had been searching for him in vain, forced to stay isolated in Kiyomi’s home so as not to arouse suspicion, only going out sparingly to gather news. The war in the Mid-East had ended about a month ago. Then the Warriors had come home, and Eren started making contact. Now we were here, with no choice but to bend to his will and carry out his plan. I glanced around at the buildings around me. 'So, this is the internment zone.' This was where Reiner and Bertholdt had grown up, listening to stories of the devils across the sea. Where they were taught to hate us. Where they were taught that it was a privilege to be chosen to exterminate us.
I could hear the fight in the distance, Eren’s Titan battling with the War Hammer. I’d known for a long time what Eren was capable of, but this…murdering innocent civilians just to gain more power. I had been right to think he had changed. I returned to the roof where Jean and the other Scouts were assembled. Jean was rigid, fully returning to his role as a leader, though he still cast a quick glance over me to make sure I wasn’t hurt. I nodded at him to show I was alright and had completed my task. Sasha and Connie were there as well, and the four of us gazed down into the square, where Mikasa and Captain Levi were making quick work of the Jaw Titan and forcing it off of Eren. I felt a pang of sadness -- though I’d assumed Ymir was long gone, it was still painful to confirm. The rest of us leaped into action, swinging down to take care of the Titan, when machine-gunfire echoed through the streets. It was the Cart Titan, fortified with some kind of armor and machinery strapped to its back. The Scout to my left burst in a smear of blood and I felt its hot thickness splatter across my cheek. I gasped, weaving and dodging, trying to make myself as difficult of a target as possible.
“(y/n)!” Something hard hit me, pushing me through the window of a nearby building. I rolled over with someone, the weight and form familiar. Jean dragged me behind a wall as bullets continued to rain through the windows, his hand coming up to cover my head. I covered my ears, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Damn it,” Jean muttered, peeking around the corner once there was silence. “We took too long.”
We stood, peering through the new hole in the wall as rumbling footsteps shook the neighborhood. It was the familiar, monkey-like form of the Beast Titan, lumbering forward towards Eren. I grit my teeth, frowning, thinking of all of the Scouts who were dead because of him, including our former Commander.
“I guess we’ll know for sure, now,” I murmured to Jean. “Whether he was telling the truth. If he really is on our side.”
My gaze drifted to the Titans, frowning. The Warriors had assembled. All except one. Jean glanced down at me. “We should get down there.”
I nodded and the two of us hurried down to the square to meet up with Captain Levi and the others. I put more of my focus into the Jaw and Cart Titans, letting Levi deal with Zeke. If he really was on our side, he was doing a magnificent job playing the part of the War Chief -- I winced as an array of stone thrown by the Beast nearly sliced their way through Jean. It was difficult, though -- the Jaw was incredibly nimble for its size, and the Cart’s reinforcements made it hard to get close. I watched many of my comrades get their lives taken from them, and was starkly reminded of our distant past and the expeditions beyond the walls. It had been a long time since we'd faced death like this. We eventually ducked into the buildings, leaving Eren to face off with the Warriors. I ended up next to Captain Levi, whose eyes were fixed on his pocket watch. I felt my breath hitch and his gray eyes flitted up to meet mine.
“It’s time, isn’t it?” I whispered. His expression was grim. Outside, the night seemed to turn suddenly into day, a warm orange glow emanating from the direction of the sea. I squeezed my eyes shut as the explosion from Armin’s Colossal rocked the building, shaking dust from the ceiling. Levi grit his teeth.
“Let’s go, (y/n),” he muttered. I nodded and we zipped out of the window. Levi made quick work of Zeke, slicing through the nape of his neck and bringing the Beast down. I returned to my place with Jean’s squad as we went after the Cart Titan, sending thunderspears down onto its back to kill the gunmen waiting inside. The Cart wailed, toppling off of the roof it was perched on to slump into the alleyway below. There was a wild look in Jean’s eyes as he leaped over the edge of the roof, weapons poised to finally finish it off. My eyes widened as I saw a young boy standing in front of it, his arms outstretched and a desperate look in his eye.
“Oh, Jean,” I whispered, reading the moment of hesitation in his shoulders before he thrust the thunderspear straight at the child. A hiss of steam threw it off course, where it exploded harmlessly against the cobblestones. Below, a dark-haired girl emerged from the nape of the Cart Titan’s neck. The young boy immediately ran to her side.
“The Cart Titan’s still alive!” Connie called. The Marleyan soldiers down below began to fire at us with rifles, shouting insults up at us.
“Hey, Braun!” I heard a gruff voice call below, making me whip my head in its direction. “Give Grice a hand!”
'Braun.' My chest tightened and my gaze swept the street, a bullet whizzing just past my ear in my distraction. 'Where is he? Why hasn’t he shown himself?'
“Fall back!” Jean’s order leaked through my thoughts. “Take cover!”
I blinked, landing on the rooftop next to Sasha, who was grimacing. “You okay?” I breathed to her, my heart still hammering in my chest. They’d said his name, I was sure of it, but Reiner was still nowhere to be seen.
“No,” Sasha muttered, tightening her grip on her rifle. “I’m starving.”
I let out a strangled laugh. Above us, a dark shape began to approach and I lifted my gaze. It was the airship, here to take us home. Then I heard it. Voices, children’s voices. Calling for him. For Reiner. I saw Jean’s brow furrow and he turned to look at me. 'Don’t look,' I told myself, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the approaching ship. 'There’s nothing to see. Just get home.'
As the ship approached, we sunk our cables into the bottom, hanging below to keep an eye out for any hostiles below. I saw Mikasa appear, dragging Eren behind her and pulling him into the ship. My gaze drifted back towards the square, but I couldn’t see anything past the buildings.
“(y/n),” Jean called from next to me. “Go inside.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he frowned at me. “I mean it. That’s an order. You’re gonna get yourself shot.”
I grit my teeth but obeyed, pulling myself up and into the ship. Levi had already made quick work of Eren, and Mikasa and Armin were lingering in the hull, gazing forlornly at the cabin where he was being dragged.
“Armin,” I murmured, moving towards my friend. He had a hollow look in his eyes, which were still framed by the markings from his Titan form. I gripped his wrist and he barely looked at me before the two of them followed their friend. The rest of the soldiers slowly made their way inside, and I let out a breath as I saw Jean get hauled in by Connie and Sasha. In the midst of the crowd, Floch pumped his fist in the air.
“Good work, soldiers!” he cried. “We fought the New Eldian Empire’s first battle and it ended in victory!” The rest of the Scouts cheered and whooped. I stayed silent, weaving through the crowd, grimacing as I was thumped on the back and praised. I found my friends, Connie holding Sasha and Jean close to him. Jean shrugged off Connie’s arm, gazing up at me sheepishly. I held out a hand, pulling him to his feet.
“I’m sorry for pulling rank,” he muttered to me. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”
“You don’t have to worry so much about me, Jean,” I replied softly. “I’m not going to go running off every time I hear Reiner’s name. I don’t care about him anymore, just about ending this war.”
Jean tilted his head at me. “If that were true, you wouldn’t be you.” I flushed a bit, glancing down at my toes. Jean brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Look at me, angel.” I did and he smoothed his thumb along my cheek. “I love you.”
I smiled softly at him. “I love you, too. I’m glad you’re safe.”
“Oh, (y/n),” Connie cooed mockingly next to us, making Jean shoot a glare in his direction. He was pressing Sasha’s cheeks together with both of his hands. “I love you so much. You’re my forever girl.”
Sasha mirrored him, grabbing Connie’s face. “Oh, Jean,” she sighed. “I love you, too. You and your sorry excuse for a beard. Let’s kiss the entire way home!”
Jean brought a hand up to rub self-consciously at his stubble as Connie and Sasha made exaggerated kissing noises at each other. “What’s wrong with my beard?” he pouted.
“Nothing,” I assured him, my mouth twitching up into a smirk. “It looks great on you. Very manly.”
Jean narrowed his eyes accusingly at me as Connie and Sasha snickered. I let myself relax a bit for the first time in months. We were finally going home, back to our island. We may not have resolved much, but at least we wouldn’t be sitting around on enemy soil. Floch continued to rile up the rest of the group as we joined them, making my stomach churn. Celebrating this act of violence felt dirty to me. It made me feel like I was exactly what the Marleyans thought I was. Sasha stiffened next to me, frowning.
“Did you hear something?” she asked. I shook my head, nudging Jean.
“Hey, quiet down for a second!” Jean called to the group, but they ignored him.
Connie glanced around. “Hey, Lobov isn’t back yet.” He’d been the last Scout to keep an eye out below the airship. Jean frowned.
“Weird. He should have been back a while ago.”
There was a grunt behind us, making me turn to see a little girl roll into the ship. I blinked in confusion. Before I could even start to process her presence, she knelt, raising a gun and firing. Beside me, Sasha let out a wet gasp. I watched in horror as she collapsed, blood gurgling from a hole in her stomach.
“Sasha?” I squeaked, falling to my knees next to her. The little girl reloaded, cocking her gun and pointing it straight at my head. Jean’s hand flew to his weapon, aiming it at her without hesitation. Just as they both fired, a boy -- the same one from the alleyway that protected the Cart Titan -- shoved her to the side. Her bullet narrowly missed Jean’s ear.
The rest of the Scouts descended on the children, letting out enraged cries and swarming them. Connie hurried to Sasha’s other side, shaking her and calling for her. Her eyes stared blankly up at me and I felt tears slide down my cheeks.
“Sasha,” I whimpered, patting her cheek. “Sasha, please.” There was no response. I turned to look at Jean, who was standing stock-still, watching our comrades beat the two intruders. “Jean!” I sobbed. He stiffened at the sound of my cry, whirling around. His face paled at the sight.
“Stay with me!” Connie was shouting to Sasha. “Hey!”
She gasped softly and I leaned closer to hear her. “Why are you so loud?” she whispered. “Are we eating soon or what?”
“She’s bleeding!” Jean called to another Scout. “Find her some bandages! Hurry!”
“Meat…” Sasha murmured. I could feel her blood soaking the fabric covering my knees. My hands shook as they brushed her hair from her forehead.
'There’s too much blood. She’s losing far too much blood.' I moved out of the way as two of our comrades quickly wrapped a bandage around her middle. It immediately soaked itself in red while Connie and I watched. Jean had turned away, standing with his hands over his ears.
“Jean,” Floch muttered, each hand gripping the hair of the bloodied Marleyan children. “Lobov’s dead. These two shot him and climbed aboard using his ODM gear. I’ll toss ‘em outside, alright?”
Jean stared at him, his teeth bared. I looked at the two children. The little girl was fighting against Floch’s hand, her eyes flashing with hate and anger. There was something about her that seemed strangely familiar, though my head was spinning far too much for me to place it. The boy only looked at Sasha forlornly, his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. I thought of everything I had read about the Warrior Candidacy program, about the indoctrination of the Eldian children who lived in the internment zone. They were so young. Too young to be filled with enough hate to kill. Behind me, Jean slammed his hands against the wall of the airship.
“Do you really think that tossing kids out of an airship is gonna help us stop all this killing?” he gasped.
I sat next to a paralyzed Connie as Jean had the kids tied up, listening to the girl shriek about island devils. Jean took them to the back, where Eren and Zeke were being kept, presumably to let the rest of our squad know what had happened. Armin and Mikasa burst into the hull, rushing towards Connie and me. I watched them cry and shake Sasha, pleading with her to stay alive. But it was too late. Sasha had taken her last breath. I felt numbness spread throughout my body, pressing my hands into my forehead.
“No more,” I whispered. “Please, no more. I can’t take it.”