Chapter Text
The hamburgers flip in the air and land back perfectly on the grill, Guest's smile turning just the tiniest bit proud at his successful trick.
“Show off…”
007n7 mumbles, though a smile of his own is pulling at his lips. He's never been able to flip burgers or pancakes in the air like that. It really impacts his “dad” reputation.
“I'm not showing off. I'm just flipping the burgers. In a cool way.”
“Yes, burger-flipping soldier, your skills at the grill are well applauded by us all. However-”
Two Time is interrupted by Shedletsky, who scoffs playfully, distracting himself from the game of cards he's gotten himself into with Chance to quip another joke.
“Applaud him? No one is applauding him. I'm much better at flipping burgers than Guest is!”
“As I was saying-”
“Oh, you're better? Why don't you come at the grill and show your skill in-”
“Dear friends-”
Elliot looks up from his own card deck, eyes wide and a sigh already ripping from his lungs. These people are going to send him gray early.
“For Telamon's sake, that sausage is charred!”
007n7 blinks. He… he had left for five minutes to get the plates, start to set the table... how is this already a disaster? Oh, his poor, poor grill…
“Guest, I thought you were checking over the grill!”
“Yes- well, I was, before someone-”
“Hey, don't shift the blame on me, now! You're on grill duty!”
Aaaand, bickering breaks out. Again. He's always thought c00lkidd was going to be the reason he's starting to spot some gray chunks of hair. Wrong. Grown ass people.
“G-guys- maybe we, um, we sh-should- er- help mr. 007n7 c-clean up or-or-”
“Yeah, you're right, Noob! Hey, race you there!”
“Oh, Telamon, please don't-”
Too late. Noob and Veeronica jump out of their seats, only to rush out and into the kitchen.
“I won!”
Never again. He's never doing this again. Hey, Shedletsky has a huge house, right? He can definitely host next time-
“Papa! Papa! Mr. Guest is so fun! Did you know he used to have a flamethrower? Can we do this again? Oh, oh, can I invite my friends, too, next time? Pleeeeaaaseee?”
He's so doing this again. Damn his weak heart and c00lkidd's strangely effective puppy eyes.
“We'll see, bud. Let's focus on today first, yeah? How about you help Mx. Noob and Ms. Veeronica set the table?”
“Yay! Burgers! Burgers!”
And off he went, likely to show off his great strength and speed in setting the table. Truly a master of the art.
007n7 shakes his head fondly, before being brought back to reality by the ongoing squabble between a soldier, an admin, and a pizza boy. He shoots a pleading glance at Jane, who begrudgingly gets up and walks over - not without a much-required sigh. Lots of sighing and huffing when these miscreants are involved, mh?
“Alright, ladies, go cool your jets while me and Elliot handle the grill. C'mon. Scram.”
Guest blinks, before looking down. 007n7 feels like he just kicked a puppy with the personal mission to grill burgers.
On the other hand, Shesletsky huffs, stomping over and sitting next to Builderman.
“Whatever, there isn't even any chicken on that grill…”
He walked back in, but he's pretty sure the thump he heard was Builderman's head hitting the table.
Despite that, they're able to serve burgers and hot dogs with minimal charring - 007n7 handled the burgers himself, from choosing the patties to making the sauce from scratch. He doesn't keep a burger on his head for shits and giggles, he's really passionate about making good burgers.
Pride swells in his chest at the absolutely delectable tray of burgers he made. Enough to feed an army and a red kid.
Turning to the side, he checks over Chance's work. The gambler was whining about a lack of entertainment, and was promptly employed to take care of the hot dogs. They're… surely hot dog shaped.
“Um… what… what did you do there, Chance?”
“Hot dogs!”
“Yeah, I- I can see that, I meant- you know what, nevermind. Looks great. Let's bring everything out, mh?”
With that said, the two plate everything, ready to bring it out to the wolves outside.
“Oh-ho, let's go! Hey, guys, food!”
“Keep your voice down, this isn't HQ! You can't just scream your lungs out!”
A glare from Elliot is enough for everyone to sit up straight and silent.
“Ladies and gents and… whatever you bunch are, ready for the holy trinity of food: burgers, hot dogs, and pizza! Credits to Elliot for that last one. Eat up!”
007n7 fondly rolls his eyes at Chance's preamble, sitting down between Guest and c00lkidd, trying to gouge any reaction to his burgers.
“Wow. Now this- this is a burger.”
He's a bit surprised at Jane's praise, but mutters out a ‘thanks’ either way.
Two Time has already golfed down everything, much to Elliot's horror.
“You- Two Time, they just brought that out! It was scolding hot! I literally saw that hot dog steaming!”
“I have no idea what you're talking about, my dearest Elliot.”
Ooookaaay, let's… let's not look too much into the former cultist and their strange ways, 007n7 decides.
So he turns to his left, and- okay. There's a huge bite mark on all of the food items on Taph's plate.
“Oh. I… I didn't see you take down your mask, Taph.”
‘I didn't,’ the other proudly signs.
“...Right.”
It's a comfortable silence for a while, broken only by some random compliment thrown his way or small talk. It's Elliot who decides to drop the bomb.
“So… the killers, huh.”
The warm atmosphere suddenly turns cold, uncomfortableness creeping up everyone's spine. They're used to this kind of talk- they've been keeping each other updated on their life before, and killers aren't a new topic. The word is just… he guesses it reminds them all too much of that place.
Desperate to put an end to this tension, 007n7 swallows his burger and anxiety, before turning to his son with a small smile.
“W-well, c00lkidd has been in therapy for a while now. Both of us. He's- he's doing really good.”
“And the therapist is super duper cool! She always gives me a sticker!”
“Yes, she does that.”
And with the small chuckles that interaction has gifted them with, the tension swells and pops, like a balloon.
What he didn't expect was for others to share, either.
“John is doing great, too. The doctor said that nasty corruption is lessening more and more every day. Lost the eye and the arm, but I'd rather him limping than… you know.”
“S-Sixer is- is also doing, uh, re-really goo-good. She, er, she… she's staying at that, um, r-re- the rehabilitation cent-tre for scr-script users.”
“Yeah! And we bring him super cool new clothes and movies and videogames! Right, Noobie?”
“Yeah!”
That pretty much puts a smile on everyone's faces.
“Me, Shed and Matt have been personally overlooking 1x and Noli's cases. They're currently in separate structures under our watch, rather than being sent to the Banlands. Noli is…”
Builderman suddenly sighs and looks down, locking eyes with 007n7, as if he already knew.
Maybe in his heart, he did, because he catches on immediately.
“I'm… I'm guessing the Voidstar isn't doing him any good, huh?”
“...Yeah. He's alive, just…”
“Corrupted. Yeah. Figured.”
“He asks about you a lot.”
Silence follows. He wants to promise he'll visit, he really does, but all that comes out of his mouth is-
“He's getting better, though, right?”
“Yeah, slowly but surely. He's tough, n7. He went through the withdrawals and didn't even blink.”
“Yeah, I know. I know he is.”
Silence again. They really need to stop letting it stretch like this.
For once, he's grateful for Shedletsky's intervention.
“Well, 1x is doing better, too! She's… well, she only tried to kill a guard twice, and kind of gave up after, as long as I visit and spar with him occasionally. He's pretty disappointed at not being able to kill me with the wooden swords, but I think sparring is going to do. I think I found out something-”
With that, the avian smirks, leaning forward and looking around, as if sharing a secret and being scared 1x could somehow hear him.
Everyone else plays along, shuffling closer to Shedletsky to hear what he has to whisper.
“They really, really like chocolate. But it has to be, like, crazy dark. 98%.”
Some “oooh"s lift up in the air, along with “eeeww"s. Taph raises their arms up excitedly, pointing at himself before signing at dizzying speed. Jane blinks, before speaking up:
“What, uh, what did she say? I can't read RSL.”
Dusekkar hums, deciding it was his duty to translate.
“The hidden one shares her determination to bake for Hatred, of chocolate and sugar, a combination.”
“Brownies. You want to make 1x1x1x1 brownies.”
Elliot deadpans, and Taph shakes their head in affirmation, clearly overjoyed at the idea of sharing his passion for brownies with someone else.
Again, Elliot opens his mouth to speak, but Chance interrupts him.
“Aw, c'mon, Elli, let the poor guy try! It can't get worse than this, right?”
“I… I suppose that's true…”
“What ab-about Azu-ure? Or- Or Nos-nosferatu? Or S-Slasher…”
Noob stammers out, twirling a strand of neon-colored hair between their fingers.
Guest lights up, though there's something somber in his eyes.
“Well, last I heard, Slasher was getting moved to a medical structure, probably to check them over, and I'm pretty sure she has a new therapist…”
The soldier trails off, deep in thought.
“Oh, and the legal battle with Area 51. He's doing that, too.”
No one asks him to elaborate. Maybe that's for the better.
Two Time looks tense. Matter of fact, they're stiff as a board, looking down at the towel they decided to fold into some strange shape. When they speak, their voice is low.
“Azure is… fine. We do not talk, but I did receive their congratulations through a… mutual friend, when I left the commune.”
If anyone notices Dusekkar's smile softening, they don't dare speak.
The bittersweet atmosphere is once again broken, this time by Veeronica, her screen displaying a confused face now.
“I think Nosferatu is back at his manor? I didn't hear anything on him.”
“Yeah, me and the other admins haven't been able to find him. I'll ask Noli or 1x for more information next time.”
And finally, peace settles over all of the ex-survivors. Or… well, ‘peace’ is a strong word. It's Builderman who breaks it with the question that has been haunting them all since the first bites:
“Okay, who made these hotdogs? They're…”
“...interesting…”
Supplies Dusekkar, with Taph nodding along next to him. Her plate is completely empty by now. 007n7 swears they didn't take their hood off, though…
“It was me. They're good, right? I never made any, but I ate a lot, so I figured-”
Finally, Elliot turns, placing a hand on Chance's shoulder.
“They're dogshit, my friend. I'm sorry.”
“What?! But-”
“Pure ass. Stick to poker, bud.”
“Aww, damnit. Fine.”
With that, laughter fills the air once again.
To say 007n7 was tired would be an understatement. Don't get him wrong, he loves these people- you can't really not bond with someone after being maimed and brutally killed together a bunch of times, right?
In purgatory, it took a while for him to even start coming out of his shell. He barely participated during strategy meetings, but it was nothing short of a shock for the others whenever he even showed up. Slowly but surely, as time progressed, he even started muttering some suggestions under his breath, trusting Chance or Guest to repeat it out loud for him. By the final days, he laughed freely, even teased or poked fun.
Finally, after years in that hellhole, hope to escape had filled his heart.
Honestly, he was so sure he'd die. The battle was… absurd to even be thought about. The all-in, last ditch effort to defeat that Spectre thing and go back to their lives.
They say that people's biggest, darkest secrets come out when they think no one will be able to talk about it after.
His biggest secret? He's always been a sap at heart- during that final night, he told them all he “really loved them a whole lot”… y'know, just in case.
Yeah, yeah, embarassing, give him a break, it's been years since he used the C00lGUI to its full potential, he frankly thought he wasn't gonna make it.
The agonizing headache still haunts him. When the portal stabilized, Guest basically had to drag him inside, half-conscious and muttering nonsense about his son. He shudders at the memory.
The first thing the survivors had done after stepping out into the sunshine was hug. Some jumped up and down, others cried, someone danced? He's pretty sure it was Noob. Even the killers were much too happy - or were only mildly annoyed, when talking about 1x1x1x1 - to even consider doing anything but rejoice as well.
The memory put a smile on his face. To think that they still seeked eachother first thing first, even after getting out… yeah. He never thought he'd get to this.
And he'd never change this for anything in the world.
However, he would sell them all for a pack of chips and a donut right now, because he's fairly sure his son's tantrums are less loud than Shedletsky's incessant whining or Noob's screeches whenever c00lkidd presents them with a brand new bug he took from the garden.
“‘Kidd, baby, put that down. You're startling Noob.”
The kid blinks up at him, a frown starting to pull at his lips.
“Awe… but I wanted to show Mx. Noob that it's not dangerous at all! See?”
He pushes the bug forward, almost in Noob's face, which is dangerously pale right now.
“Yes, well, Mx. Noob is scared of bugs. Remember how you get really scared of the dark?”
“Yeah…”
“It's the same for them. And you wouldn't be happy if I left you in a dark room to show you it's not scary, right?”
c00lkidd looks down, suddenly sheepish.
“No…”
“Yup. So put that little one down, yeah? And apologize to Noob.”
“Sorry, Mx. Noob…”
With that disaster avoided, he can finally relax.
Before he knows it, it's sundown. His head pounds and his hands ache, yet his heart is full as he takes in the scene: Chance boasts about a new win, much to Guest and Shedletsky's wounded pride.
Builderman is half-heartedly commenting on his decor choice - the duck-shaped vases are not ridiculous, thank you - but he won't take any criticism from a guy who wears a hardhat out in the open. He's pretty sure Veeronica is “subtly” marking spots she could skate in with some chalk she found, her “stealth operation” helped by Noob, who's looking over their shoulder every twenty seconds or so, giving away everything.
Jane is trying really hard not to laugh at Taph's third attempt to bake “the bitterest brownies in Robloxia”- their words, not his. 007n7 hopes they'll get it soon, because his resources are, in fact, finite, and he really doesn't feel like grocery shopping. Not even Dusekkar's magic aids the brownies in tasting more like cyanide.
c00lkidd now decided to bother Elliot, who's thankfully only mildly annoyed. He watches that annoyance soften when the 10-year-old launches into a rant about lizards and dinosaurs and somehow drakobloxxers. Never change, 'kidd.
Only Two Time sits beside him. He reckons they'd be praying right now, hadn't they left that nasty cult. Dusekkar told them all in detail about it, while still in the Spectre's realm. He remembers being worried he'd vomit that night.
It must be hard. 007n7 knows a thing or two about leaving something you hold dear behind, no matter how dangerous or unhealthy. He guesses it's because it feels like a part of you.
“Wanna help me clean up a bit?”
Two Time seems to shake out of their haze, blinking up at him, almost confused at the suggestion, before smiling. Admins, he'll never get tired of this new smile of theirs.
“That would be most efficient, dear ex- n7.”
“Well then, let's get to work, yes?”
He starts to get up, only to be stopped by a hand at his shoulder. Geez, they're tall. Always have been.
“Your hands.”
“My han- oh. Yeah. I'll manage. I'm tough, remember? I'll take breaks. Promise.”
The ex-cultist looks uncomfortable, but quickly shakes it off, walking in and grabbing some cleaning products. They've filled out a bit, finally no longer the malnourished, frail thing they were back in hell.
“Hey, Two Time?”
“Yes, 007n7?”
“Smiling suits you.”
“...Thank you, friend.”
They don't need anymore talking.