Chapter Text
All Mike can see is a sea of people in front of him.
A few lights are on him, he takes a deep breath then talks into the microphone in front of him.
“Hey guys! Thanks for having us this is our first real gig, thanks for being here!”
The crowd cheers, he looks around for any familiar faces, he doesn’t find any.
Well, he sees Ava.
They make eye contact but he just looks away.
If she asks, he’ll just say he couldn’t see much because of the lights.
Mike clears his throat, he adjusts the microphone a little higher up, he looks over to Dustin, who is standing on the side.
Dustin mouths a “Go ahead,” with a thumbs up.
“This first song we’re playing is an original written by me..”
Mike is nervous.
He’s never performed in front of people like this, he’s always dreamed of it though.
He thinks back to when Will would help him.
He always told Mike to take a break, or that the lyrics would come to him, but Mike didn’t really listen.
Maybe he shouldve.
Why is he thinking about Will right now?
He’s on stage.
About to perform.
And Will isnt even here, he would’ve seen him by now.
He doesn’t care anymore.
He looks back at the rest of the band,
Max first, she’s on drums, he nods at her and she nods back.
Then Robin, he does the same thing.
Then Eddie.
He lingers on Eddie for a moment, then after they nod, he starts playing his guitar.
He lets himself get lost in the music.
His fingers move almost automatically now, muscle memory taking over as the nerves slowly disappear.
This is what he wanted.
The lights. The music. The people watching.
For a few seconds, Mike forgets about everything else.
Then he looks up.
And sees him.
Will.
Mike’s fingers falter.
For one horrible second, he forgets where he is.
Will is standing near the back of the room, surrounded by people Mike doesn’t recognize.
He’s staring right at him.
Mike stops singing.
He doesn’t even realize he’s done it until Max’s drumming falters beside him.
His heart is pounding.
Will looks different.
His hair is different. His clothes are different.
Everything about him feels unfamiliar.
And yet Mike knows him immediately.
He could pick him out of a crowd of a thousand people.
Will doesn’t look away.
Neither does Mike.
For a second, Mike forgets that there are people watching.
He forgets the band.
He forgets the song.
He forgets everything except the fact that Will is standing there.
Then Mike blinks.
He looks back down at his guitar.
His fingers start moving again.
“that which might hurt you…”
—
After a while, Mike is still distracted.
They’re about to play their last song, when he sees Will again, only this time, he’s leaving.
Mike furrows his eyebrows, but starts the last song.
—
Mike rushes off stage, he takes his guitar off with shaky hands, and he puts in in his case.
“That was great guys!” Dustin says.
The rest of the band agrees with him, some light cheering as it was their first real performance, but Mike is only focused on one thing.
“Mike,” He hears.
He knew he would notice.
He always does.
Mike looks back at Eddie, “What?”
Eddie sighs, “What happened back there?”
Mike balls his hands into fists, “Nothing?”
Eddie raises an eyebrow.
“I just- i forgot the lyrics.”
“You sure?” Eddie asks, as he grabs a pack of cigarettes.
Mike told himself he would only do it that one time, when he was with Eddie, but he feels like he needs it right now.
He reaches his hand out, palm up.
“Yeah, no.” Eddie deadpans
Mike knew this would happen, but he also knows Eddie.
“Eddie, please. I-i’m just having a bad day.”
Mikes sister always tells him he has puppy eyes, and that no one can resist them, so he tries his best to use them now.
“Fine.” Eddie says, he quickly lights his own, then hand a cigarette and the lighter to Mike.
“Thanks!” Mike says, more happy now.
He hates that this is what makes him happy now.
He used to be happy without it, he still is.
But it’s just different now.
Everything is different.
“Okay, well. We’re gonna go thank Sinclair, then we’ll probably leave? That good with you?” Eddie explained
“Yeah, i just.. i have to do something really quick.” He says, and then he leaves before Eddie can ask more questions.
He’s about to make it to the back door when someone grabs his arm.
What is everyone’s problem today?
“Mike!” Ava says.
“Hey.” Mike responds.
“You looked nervous.” She claims.
“I wasn’t.” Mike immediately responds.
“You stopped singing.”
Mike just looks at her, “I forgot the lyrics.”
Ava studies him for a moment,
“You forgot the words?” She says, a little sarcastic.
“Yeah.” Mike looks away.
her gaze falls somewhere behind Mike, then she squints her eyes “Is that Will?”
Mike snaps his head back to her, “What?”
“Will,” She nods to the door, “Byers,”
Mikes stomach twists.
“Yeah.”
“I thought you said he wasn’t coming?” Ava says, as she furrows her eyebrows.
“Yeah,” Mike shrugs. “That was what i heard, but i guess not.”
Ava nods slowly, “You said you guys used to be close, right?”
Mike swallows.
“Yeah.”
“Right.” She gives him a small smile. “Well i guess its good you got to see him again then.”
Mike forces himself to smile back, “Yeah.”
Ava looks down at the Mikes hand, then nods to herself.
“I’ll let you um.. yeah.” She gestures at the cigarette and then the door.
“Oh.. thanks.”
They linger there, then Mike opens the door and walks out.
He sees Wills shoulders tense when the door opens, maybe Mike should say something.
“Uh, hey.” Mike says
Will doesn’t say anything for a moment, so Mike walks up next to him.
He leans on the railing, closer than hes been to Will in months, but not touching.
“Hey.” Will responds, rather dryly.
Mike wants to know.
He just wants to talk.
He wants to know why Will left.
And as much as he denies it, the song he wrote was about Will.
He didn’t even realize until Dustin and Max asked him who it was about. Mike got confused and said it was about no one, but then he realized he wrote it about Will without even noticing.
Mike lifts the cigarette to his lips, takes a breath, and lets it out slowly.
Next to him Will coughs, he probably choked on his drink—
Will is drinking?
Will never used to drink.
It reminded him of his father, Mike knows that.
But he’s drinking now?
Maybe it doesn’t trigger him anymore.
Mike hates that he wouldn’t know.
“I didn’t know you drank.” Mike says, breaking the silence.
“I didn’t know you smoked.” Will responds, still looking out at the red trees.
“Guess a lot has changed.” Mike says, he said it softly, but in reality that sentence made his chest tighten.
“Yeah. It has.” Will says sharply.
Mike immediately gets defensive, “You wouldn’t know.”
Will wouldn’t know.
Will left.
“You wouldn’t either!” Will says, louder than before.
“That’s—“ Mike starts, but quickly gets interrupted by Will.
“You don’t get to act like you know me anymore.” Will says, finally looking at Mike.
That made Mike mad.
Of course he doesn’t.
Will didn’t let him.
Will left.
“I never said i did.” Mike bites back.
“You don’t have to.” Will immediately responds.
“Then what the hell do you want from me, Will?” Mike says, growing more irritated and mad, his voice getting louder.
He’s trying to ignore the lump in his throat.
“Nothing.”
“Right. because that’s what you wanted this whole time, isn’t it?” Mike snaps.
Will lets out a breath.
“Youre the one who did this.” Will says, quieter than before, but loud enough for Mike to hear.
“What?” Mike says as he pulls his eyebrows together.
How is this Mikes fucking fault??
“Because it is.” Will snaps.
“Then tell me how.” Mike says stepping closer, “Because i’m pretty sure you’re the one who decided you were done with me.”
“You really think that’s what happened?” Will stares at him.
“I know thats what happened.”
“No, you don’t.” Will says
“Then what happened Will?”
Will open his mouth to answer, but nothing comes out.
“You left.” Mike says, quieter now “You stopped talking to me.”
“Because you—“
“Because i what?!” Mike raises his voice again
“You know what you did.”
“I obviously don’t, because you never fucking told me!” Mike tries to explain
Will just looks away.
Of fucking course.
Mike feels something twist in his chest.
There it is again.
That look.
Like Mike is supposed to understand something he was never told.
He wants to be angry. He is angry.
But underneath it, there’s something else.
He’s scared.
Because what if Will actually has a reason?
What if there really was something Mike did?
Something important enough that Will couldn’t even look at him when he talked about it?
Mike, let’s out of frustrated laugh shaking his head. “Of course.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Will says as he turns back to look at Mike.
“It means you always do this.”
“Do what?” Will says with his eyebrows pinched together.
“Expect me to know what you’re thinking!” Mike says, his voice cracking.
“And you always expect me to explain everything to you!”
“I’m asking you to explain it now!” Mike yells.
“You had months to ask!” Will yells back.
“I DIDNT KNOW I HAD TO!” Mike snaps.
They both stop, chests heaving.
Mike can’t believe this.
Its like that summer night again.
Both teary eyed, yelling, but this feels different.
Mike wants to just ask.
Why?
Why did Will leave.
Why is it that Mike had to come up to Will?
Why couldn’t Will?
Will looks like he’s about to speak when the door opens.
“Whats going on?” A boy asks, Mike thinks its the owner of the house, and the host of the party,
“Nothing.” Mike says immediately.
“Nothing.” Will echoes.
The boy raises an eyebrow, “Right..”
Mike looks down at the joint in his hand, he throws it to the ground then steps on it.
He turns his head slightly to look at Will, then he starts walking away.
He mutters a small “excuse me” to the guy, he’s pretty sure his name is Luke or something- as he walks back in the house.
He feels tears in his eyes, and a lump in his throat, he just has to get away.
He barely makes it a couple steps in when he bumps into someone.
“Oh, Mike- are you okay?” Ava asks
“Yeah,” Mike says, praying she can’t see the tears in his eyes.
“Are you sure?” She says, stepping closer.
“Yeah, it’s just- Eddie is calling me i have to go,” He says, backing away.
“Okay, bye.” She says, slowly.
He nods, and starts walking deeper into the house
He almost expected her to follow him, or maybe notice that he wasnt okay.
she didn’t though.
He’s looking for anyone in the band, since theyre all going home together.
He blinks and a tear falls down his cheek, he quickly wipes it away, holding in a sob.
He finally spots red hair, so he goes there and everyone else is there too.
“Hey! there he—“ Robin starts, “Whats wrong?”
“Nothing. Can we go now?” Mike says, his voice shaky and quiet.
He looks up at his friends, their faces are concerned and worried, but he looks away.
He hates that.
Its like they can see right through him.
They just pity him, they don’t actually care.
Thats why he never bothered to tell them about Will. They would try to fix it or just—
The thought of Will sends more tears to his eyes,
Why has no one fucking answered.
“C-can we please g-go?” Mike asks again, tears he couldn’t stop falling freely now.
“Let’s go.” Eddie says, then they all walk out the house.
They get in the car, Eddie drives.
Robin sits in the passenger seat while Max and Dustin squeeze into the back with Mike.
Eddie starts the car, but doesn’t pull away immediately.
Nobody says anything.
Mike can feel everyone looking at him.
He hates it.
“I’m fine,” he says quietly, even though nobody asked.
Robin turns around from the passenger seat. “Okay.”
Mike glances at her. “Okay?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “You said you’re fine.”
Mike looks back out the window.
For a few seconds, there’s silence again.
Then Dustin speaks.
“So…”
Mike closes his eyes. “Don’t.”
“I wasn’t gonna ask what happened.”
“Good.”
“I was gonna ask if you wanted to come over.”
Mike looks at him through the remainder of tears, “What?”
Dustin shakes his head.
“Actually, no. Your house.” He says as he gestures at Eddie.
Mike furrows his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because we’re all going.”
Mike looks around at them. “No.”
“Mike—”
“I just want to go home.”
Eddie finally pulls out of the driveway.
“You can go home tomorrow.”
Mike looks at him. “What?”
“We’re staying at Eddies.”
“No, i’m not.”
“Yeah, we are.”
“Why?”
Eddie glances at him through the rearview mirror.
“Because you’re obviously not having a great night.”
Mike looks away. “I can handle it.”
Nobody responds, that somehow makes it worse.
“I said I’m fine.”
Robin speaks softly from the front. “We know.”
“Then why are you acting like I’m not?” Mike questions
“Because you don’t have to be fine around us.”
Mike’s throat tightens.
He looks away before they can see his face again.
“I don’t want you guys to feel like you have to babysit me.” He says as his voice cracks
“We don’t.” Max finally speaks. “We want you to come.”
Mike stays quiet.
Dustin leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “And we’re not gonna make you talk about it.”
Mike looks at him. “Really?”
“Really.” Eddie nods. “You can tell us when you want to.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you don’t.”
Mike swallows.
He looks out the window again.
The houses pass by in a blur.
For a moment, he thinks about saying no again.
He could go home.
Go upstairs.
Close his bedroom door.
Pretend tonight never happened.
But the thought of being alone with everything in his head makes his chest tighten.
“Okay,” he finally says.
Robin smiles. “Okay?”
Mike nods. “Yeah.”
Dustin throws his hands in the air. “YES. Sleepover!”
“It’s not a sleepover,” Mike mutters.
“Whatever you wanna call it.”
Mike lets out a quiet laugh.
It’s barely there, but everyone notices.
Nobody says anything, they just keep driving.