Chapter Text
I still remember the day I carried you on my back when we fled from the Old Capital.
You were so small back then.
I remember your arms wrapped around my neck so tightly that I could barely breathe. My school uniform was soaked through with your tears, and you kept asking me where our teacher was. I didn't know what to tell you. I didn't even know if we were going to make it out ourselves.
I just kept telling you to hold on.
When we finally stopped near those ruins, you wouldn't let go of my hand. You were exhausted, but every time I tried to move, you'd grab onto me again. So I stayed there beside you the whole night.
I never slept.
I kept thinking that if I closed my eyes for even a second, something else would happen. Something else would be taken from us.
So I sat there and watched you sleep.
And somewhere that night, I made a promise to myself.
I decided that I'd spend the rest of my life making sure you never had to feel that scared again.
You deserved to grow up like any other little girl.
You deserved to laugh without looking over your shoulder. You deserved a warm bed, good food, friends, books, stupid little arguments about things that didn't matter. You deserved to complain about school and stay up too late and dream about what you wanted to be when you grew up.
You deserved a childhood.
I think that's why I became so obsessed with giving you one.
The life I tried to build for you could never really compare to what you had at the Academy.
There was no comfortable bedroom. No cafeteria where you could pick whatever you wanted for lunch. No huge playground. No library with more books than you could ever read.
But I tried.
God, I tried.
Every extra shift. Every job I took. Every time I came home exhausted and pretended I wasn't. Every time I told myself that next year would be better, that I'd save enough for something nicer, that I'd finally be able to give you the life you deserved.
I spent years chasing that life for you.
For us.
And I thought that was what being your big brother meant.
I thought protecting you meant giving you everything that had been taken away.
A better home.
A safer life.
A future where you never had to look back.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped asking you what you wanted.
I was so fixated on running away from the past that I didn't realize you weren't trying to run from it at all.
You remembered.
You remembered everything.
The Old Capital. Helios Academy. The people we lost. The things that happened to us.
You remembered Carole Arna. You remembered Phaethon.
And for the longest time, I thought those memories were chains holding you back.
I was wrong.
They're part of you.
And maybe that's the part I didn't understand.
You didn't need me to erase what happened to you.
You needed someone to believe that you could carry it.
I wish I'd realized that sooner.
I wish I'd listened when you told me you didn't need the life I was trying to build for you. I wish I'd understood that when you turned down all those things I'd worked so hard to give you, it wasn't because you didn't appreciate them.
You just wanted something else.
Something I couldn't give you.
You wanted to choose your own path. You wanted to carry her legacy.
And somehow, despite everything I've done wrong, you found it.
You're capable of amazing things.
I don't think I've ever told you that enough.
When I look at you now, I don't see that frightened little girl clinging to my hand anymore.
Well...
Sometimes I do.
You're still my little sister, after all.
But I see the person you've become.
Someone brave enough to stand up when everyone else backs down. Someone stubborn enough to keep going when any sensible person would've turned around. Someone who somehow manages to give other people hope even when you've got every reason to lose your own.
I’ve seen you grow into the bravest, kindest, smartest, most talented girl in all of New Eridu.
And sometimes, when I look at you, I see a little bit of her.
The woman we lost.
Because she had that same light in her.
That same stubborn hope.
That same way of making people believe that maybe tomorrow could be better.
I think that's what you've inherited from her.
I know for a fact, that she'd be so proud of you.
I used to think my job was to protect you from the world.
Now I understand that it was never really my job to keep you from becoming who you were meant to be.
It was to make sure you knew you didn't have to face it alone.
I can't promise I'll stop worrying about you.
Truthfully, I'll probably never stop.
I'll still nag you when you do something reckless. I'll still yell at you when you run headfirst into a dangerous hollow when you clearly should've thought it about first. I'll still ask if you've eaten. I'll still tell you to get some sleep even though I know perfectly well you'll ignore me.
And if you pull another one of those ridiculous stunts, I'm going to remind you that I specifically told you not to.
That's what big brothers are for, apparently.
But I want you to know something.
You don't owe me anything.
Not for carrying you that day.
Not for all the years after.
Not for the sacrifices I made.
I did all those things because I love you.
And I would do them all again.
Even the difficult parts.
Especially the difficult parts.
Because somewhere along the way, you stopped being the little girl I was trying to protect and became someone I could look up to.
I'm so proud of you.
More than I know how to put into words.
I don't know where we're going from here.
Maybe that's okay.
You spent so much of your life having me decide where you were going.
So go wherever you want. I want you to take the lead from now on.
You have something worth fighting for.
I'll be here.
I'll always be here.
You'll always be my baby sister.
No matter how old you get.
No matter how far you go.
No matter how many people come to know your name.
To me, you'll always be that little girl who held onto my hand in the ruins because she was scared to let go.
And I'll always be the idiot sitting beside you, pretending I wasn't scared too.
I love you.
Always.
- Wise
"Second Assistant. Would you like me to show this recording to Master Belle?"
"I... *sniff* actually no, just... just keep it between us for now..."