Chapter Text
“You’ve seen the real me, at last.” It was almost sarcastic. He had a broken smile on his face, tears falling from his eyes, like he couldn’t control them any longer, sniffling.
I hated this.
He shouldn’t smile like a vine of thorns wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed.
He shouldn’t smile like he was thrown in dirt and left to bleed out.
He shouldn’t smile like he was broken on the inside, but refused to let it show.
He should smile like the world loves him.
He should smile like he has all the happiness in the world.
He should smile like he knows that everything will be okay in the end.
I moved and laid my head on his chest, tucked under his chin. My knees moved to rest on his lap so I could be closer to him.
Bokuto’s breath hitched when I shifted closer, his arm tightening around me as I curled up against him.
“I was loving the wrong person.” I muttered.
I looked up at him with a gentle smile, tears smeared on my cheeks. I cupped his cheek with one hand, wiping a tear. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Boku-.. Koutarou. Just… let go. Around me. I’ll be your safe place.”
Bokuto let out a quiet sob at my words. “I love you.” His voice broke.
I kissed his forehead, my lips lingering, before I leaned my forehead against his, our noses brushed against each other.
“And I will learn to love you too.”
-------------------------------------------------------
So, dear reader, this is my Christmas story.
Love is rather complicated.
Love hurts. A lot.
Love is a beautiful thing. It makes you warm inside, but sometimes it doesn’t. You feel immense joy when you see the person you love, but sometimes it’s dread.
Love is a happy thing, when it is given and received right.
Love could feel like jagged rocks and sharp rocks piercing every part of your body. But sometimes it feels like a warm hug, and a kiss.
Love could feel like your heart being ripped apart and stepped on and forgotten. But sometimes, it feels like your heart is being bandaged up and held gently.
Love could feel cold and painful. But it could also feel warm and soft.
Love is a happy thing.
It might hurt, but it’s a part of life. You’ll be okay, love will find you, whether it’s romantic, platonic, or familial.
This unsightly Christmas story has come to an end because…
The boy of the dark
Who used to hold pain unseen
Finally felt loved.
***
Epilogue
6 days later, it was New Year’s Eve.
Bokuto Koutarou and I weren’t together yet, but I was still learning to love him.
We both sat at the top of the roof of our dorm building. My head was on his shoulder and his arm was around my waist.
`31st December 2028, 11.55pm. Full moon.`
I looked over at him.
He had a gentle smile on his face which I was not sure if he did on purpose. The moonlight and the street lights worked together to shine gently on his face, making him look other worldly.
His glistening eyes reflected the full moon.
He seemed like he was glowing. I could see the joy and happiness in his eyes.
He looked so beautiful tonight. Before I knew it a small smile came onto my own face. His joy was contagious.
He looked back at me after a while of me making a fool of myself by staring at him.
I saw his cheeks dust slightly pink and his smile turn shy.
My smile just widened at the side. I let out a soft chuckle and leaned my head on his shoulder, my hand finding his free hand on his lap, intertwining our fingers together.
I let out a soft exhale and looked over at my phone beside me.
`31st December 2028, 11.59pm. Full moon`
“Koutarou.” I said softly and nudged my head towards the time on my phone.
The way his face lit up after seeing the time on my phone sent butterflies crazy in my stomach. He looked beautiful.
He quickly stood up and pulled me up along with him, intertwining our hands.
I recalled how he used to be so excited when it was a minute away from the New Year when we were younger. Mei, Bokuto and I used to sit on the roof top of their house, ready for the New Year fireworks. But I didn’t truly notice him like this. Not until now.
He was beaming, radiating in excitement, like a little kid.
We started to countdown.
“10… 9… 8… 7… 6…” We counted out loud in unison.
He had a bright smile. I was looking over at him the entire time we counted. He looked so happy.
This.
This is what I wanted.
This. Is love.
“5… 4… 3… 2… 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!” We shouted together, raising our intertwined hands to the air.
The fireworks from the city were visible and bright.
I looked over at him again. The colours of the fireworks danced on his face, increasing his radiance.
I found myself staring again.
I knew, in this moment, exactly how I felt about him.
Before I could second guess myself, I grabbed his collar with both my hands and kissed him.
I felt him freeze against me, his hands hovering over my waist in shock.
I pulled away just to see his reaction.
My cheeks were pink, so were his. His eyes were wide as saucers.
“I love you, Bokuto Koutarou.” I spoke at last.
I watched his shocked face soften, and then break into a grin, tears filling his eyes. “Oh my god.”
His arms immediately wrapped around my waist and back, pulling me flush against his chest.
He kissed me this time, first exploratory before quickly becoming deep.
He dipped me backwards, my arms moved to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer.
He moved his lips against mine in a hypnotising rhythm, I slowly started losing strength in my legs, completely dependent on him to hold me up.
I couldn’t get enough of him. His lips were soft, but he moved with urgency, like this would be the only time he'll be able to kiss me.
I'll make sure he'll be able to kiss me and hold me till the day I die.
His lips tasted like cinnamon. It must’ve been the cinnamon chapstick I gave him for Christmas.
I felt so loved, it was overwhelming.
His hands roamed all along my lower body as mine roamed his upper body and face.
I felt like the luckiest boy in the world.
When he pulled away, he looked at me with the most gentle eyes I’ve ever seen. Like I was someone worth loving.
We kissed again, and again, and again, deeper each time as the New Year fireworks continued to go on in the city.
This was going to be a good year.
Because love finally found us.
`The end.`