Chapter Text
The next afternoon, Ryo met everyone at the park like they had planned.
He had spent most of the day thinking about what he was going to say. He had practiced different ways of telling them in his head during class, on the walk home, and even while brushing
his teeth that morning. Every version sounded awkward.
“My family is moving.”
Too simple.
“I'm leaving at the beginning of summer.”
Too serious.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner.”
That one was true, but it didn't explain anything.
By the time Ryo reached the park, he had given up on planning the conversation entirely.Everyone was already there. Riku and Jaehee were arguing over something that apparently started before Ryo even arrived, while Sion sat on the bench listening to them with an amused expression. Yushi was sitting beside him, scrolling through his phone.
Sakuya noticed Ryo first.
"Finally."
Ryo smiled slightly. "Sorry."
"You said you'd be here ten minutes ago."
"I know."
"You always say that."
"And yet you keep inviting me places."
Sakuya rolled his eyes but moved over, making room for him on the bench.
Ryo sat down.
For the first few minutes, everything felt normal. Riku was complaining about one of their teachers, Jaehee kept interrupting him, and Sion was trying to explain why their graduation plans
were never going to work if Riku was the one organizing them.
"You guys have absolutely no faith in me," Riku said.
"Because we've seen you plan things," Jaehee replied.
"Exactly. And I've gotten better."
"You say that every time."
Riku scoffed. "Whatever. You guys are just negative."
Yushi looked up from his phone. "I think we're being realistic."
Riku stared at him. "Whose side are you on?"
"I'm on the side of reality."
Everyone laughed.
Ryo smiled along with them. For a few minutes, he almost forgot why he had asked everyone to meet.
Then Sion suddenly pulled out his phone.
"Wait, look at this."
Everyone leaned toward him.
He showed them a picture of a beach town with bright blue water and a long stretch of sand.
"My cousin went here last summer," Sion said. "He said it was really nice."
Riku immediately pointed at the screen. "We should go."
Jaehee looked at him. "You say that like we're actually capable of planning anything."
"We can plan."
"You couldn't even decide where we were eating last Friday."
"That's different."
"How?"
Riku ignored him. "We should go after graduation."
Sion nodded. "I'm down."
Yushi looked at Ryo. "What about you?"
Ryo stared at the picture.
His stomach dropped.
"Yeah, I don't think I can."
Everyone looked at him.
Riku frowned. "Why?"
Ryo stared down at the grass.
He hadn't planned to say it like this.
"My family's moving."
The laughter stopped.
Jaehee blinked. "Moving where?"
"California."
Nobody said anything.
Riku's eyebrows shot up. "Wait. What?"
"My parents are moving at the beginning of summer."
Riku stared at him. "Did you just find out?"
Ryo hesitated.
"Uhm..."
He looked around at everyone.
"No."
Riku's eyebrows lifted. "No?"
"I've known for a little while."
"How long is 'a little while'?"
Ryo scratched the back of his neck.
"Depends on your definition."
"Ryo."
"Like... two weeks."
Silence.
Yushi slowly lowered his phone.
"Two weeks?"
Ryo nodded. "Yeah."
Riku stared at him. "You've known for two weeks?"
"That's generally what the phrase 'I've known for two weeks' means."
Jaehee snorted before quickly covering his mouth.
Riku turned toward him. "Don't laugh. I'm serious."
"I know. I'm just..." Jaehee looked at Ryo. "That was kind of funny."
Ryo gave a small shrug. "Glad someone appreciates my suffering."
Sion shook his head, trying not to smile.
"Okay, but seriously. Why didn't you tell us?"
Ryo's smile disappeared.
"I didn't know how."
Riku frowned. "But you knew."
"Yes."
"For two weeks."
"Yes."
"And you just... didn't say anything?"
Ryo sighed. "Wow, when you put it like that, it sounds really bad."
"Because it is!"
"Okay, noted."
Ryo leaned back against the bench.
"I'll make sure to schedule my next life crisis with the group chat first."
Riku stared at him. "I'm being serious."
"I know."
The humor faded from Ryo's voice.
"I know you are."
He looked down at his hands.
"I just didn't know what I was supposed to say."
Riku's expression softened for half a second, but the frustration was still there.
"You could've just told us."
"I know."
"Then why didn't you?"
Ryo swallowed.
"I was scared."
Riku frowned. "Scared of what?"
Ryo looked away.
"Everything."
"That's not an answer."
"I know."
"Then give me one."
Ryo's fingers tightened around the sleeve of his hoodie.
"I don't have one."
Riku let out a frustrated breath.
"That's the problem, Ryo. You keep saying you don't know."
"Because I don't!"
The words came out louder than he intended.
Everyone went quiet.
Ryo looked around at them.
His chest was rising and falling faster now.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
Riku opened his mouth.
Ryo laughed bitterly before he could respond.
"Actually, wait. I know."
He held up his hands dramatically.
"You want me to say, 'Wow, guys, I'm such a horrible friend for not immediately informing you about the biggest thing that's happened to me in years.'"
"That's not what I said."
"No, but that's definitely what this feels like."
Ryo's voice started shaking.
"I totally should've called an emergency meeting the second I found out. Maybe sent out invitations. Made snacks. Put together a little presentation."
Jaehee looked down, trying not to smile.
Ryo pointed at him. "Don't laugh."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm really trying not to."
For a second, Ryo almost smiled.
Then his expression fell again.
"Sorry I wanted time."
His voice was quieter.
"Sorry I didn't know how to tell you guys."
He blinked quickly.
"Sorry I didn't want everything to change the second you knew."
Nobody spoke.
Ryo looked down at his hands.
"I didn't want every conversation to turn into this. I didn't want you guys looking at me differently. I didn't want everyone asking if I was okay every five minutes."
His voice cracked.
"I just wanted things to feel normal for a little longer."
The group fell silent.
Yushi looked down at his phone.
Sion sighed quietly.
Jaehee's expression softened, but he still looked hurt.
Riku looked away.
After a few seconds, Yushi spoke.
"I get it."
Riku immediately looked at him. "You get it?"
"Yeah."
"He should've told us."
"I know."
"Then why are you defending him?"
"I'm not defending him."
"Sounds like it."
Yushi frowned.
"I'm saying I understand why he was scared."
"And I'm saying being scared doesn't mean you keep your friends in the dark."
"I never said it did."
"Then what are you saying?"
"That you don't have to make him feel worse than he already does."
Riku scoffed. "I'm not trying to make him feel worse."
"You're kind of doing that."
"Because I'm upset!"
"So am I."
"Then why are you acting like I'm the bad guy?"
"Because you're yelling at him."
"I'm not yelling."
"You are."
"I'm not."
Jaehee sighed. "You two are literally yelling right now."
Both of them stopped.
Ryo let out a quiet laugh despite himself.
"Glad we can all communicate like mature adults."
Jaehee pointed at him. "Don't start."
Ryo smiled weakly. "I'm not."
Sion shook his head.
"Can we just calm down?"
Riku sat back down. "Fine."
Yushi nodded. "Fine."
The silence that followed was uncomfortable.
Then Sakuya finally spoke.
"We've known each other the longest, Ryo."
Ryo looked at him.
"I know."
"No. I don't think you do."
Sakuya's voice was quieter than Riku's had been. That somehow made it harder to listen to.
"If something this big happened, I should've been one of the first people you told."
"You were."
"But you didn't tell me."
Ryo looked away.
"I wanted to."
"Wanting to isn't the same as doing it."
Ryo swallowed.
Sakuya looked down for a second.
"And that's what hurts."
Ryo's chest tightened.
"I was scared."
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's true."
"Of what?"
Ryo froze.
Sakuya waited.
Ryo couldn't answer.
Sakuya watched him for a few seconds.
"It feels like you're still hiding something."
"I'm not."
"Then tell me."
"I can't."
"Why?"
Ryo looked away.
Sakuya's expression changed.
"See?"
Ryo's eyes started burning.
"You don't understand."
"Then make me understand."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
Ryo took a shaky breath.
"Because I was scared of losing you."
Sakuya went completely still.
Ryo immediately regretted saying it.
Sakuya stared at him.
"You don't get to decide whether you lose me."
"I wasn't trying to."
"Then trust me enough to let me be your friend."
Ryo looked down.
"I don't know how."
"You could've tried."
"I know."
Sakuya shook his head.
"That's the problem."
Sion stood up.
"I think we should all go home."
Riku looked at him. "Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"But we're not done."
"We're not going to fix this right now."
Riku looked away.
Jaehee grabbed his bag.
"I'm still upset," he said quietly.
Ryo nodded. "I know."
Jaehee hesitated.
"But I don't hate you."
Ryo gave him a tired smile. "I know."
Yushi stood up next.
He looked at Ryo.
"I'm sorry."
Ryo frowned. "For what?"
"For arguing with Riku."
"You don't have to apologize."
"I know."
Yushi glanced toward Riku.
"I just didn't want you to think nobody was on your side."
Ryo looked down.
"Thanks."
Riku was the last one to move.
He grabbed his bag and stood there for a moment.
He looked like he wanted to say something.
Instead, he sighed.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Ryo nodded. "Yeah."
Riku walked away with Jaehee and Sion.
Yushi followed after them, glancing back at Ryo once before leaving.
That left Ryo and Sakuya alone.
Neither of them spoke.
Ryo wanted to say something.
Anything.
But Sakuya looked just as lost as he felt.
Finally, Sakuya picked up his bag.
"I'll see you."
Ryo looked at him.
"Okay."
Sakuya started walking away.
Ryo almost called his name.
But he didn't.
He stayed in the park for another few minutes before finally heading home.
The walk back felt longer than usual.
Ryo replayed everything in his head.
Riku's questions.
Yushi defending him.
Jaehee trying to keep everyone from fighting.
Sakuya's expression when Ryo admitted he was scared of losing him.
That was the part Ryo couldn't stop thinking about.
When Ryo got home, he dropped his bag by the stairs and headed toward the kitchen.
His mom was putting groceries away when she heard him.
"Hey. How was it?"
Ryo stopped.
He hadn't realized how badly he wanted someone to ask.
"Bad."
His mom turned around.
"What happened?"
Ryo leaned against the counter.
"I told them."
She paused.
"You told your friends?"
Ryo nodded.
"How did it go?"
Ryo let out a humorless laugh.
"Terrible."
His mom walked over.
"They're upset?"
"Yeah."
He looked down.
"Riku was mad. Jaehee was disappointed. Yushi tried to defend me, which somehow turned into an argument."
His mom raised an eyebrow.
"Sounds like a lot."
"It was."
Ryo rubbed his eyes.
"And Sakuya..."
He stopped.
His mom waited.
"He was hurt."
Ryo's voice became quieter.
"He said we should've known each other well enough for me to tell him."
His mom nodded.
"He's probably right."
Ryo looked up.
"Mom."
"I'm not saying you were wrong for needing time."
"I know."
"But he's allowed to be hurt too."
Ryo sighed.
"I know."
He looked down at the counter.
"I just didn't want everything to change."
His mom reached over and squeezed his shoulder.
"I know."
Ryo's eyes started burning again.
"I thought if I waited, I could have a little more normal time with them."
His mom nodded.
"Sometimes waiting makes the conversation harder."
"I know."
Ryo wiped at his face.
"I just didn't know what to do."
His mom pulled him into a hug.
For a few seconds, Ryo let himself cry. He didn't have to explain himself. He didn't have to defend why he waited.
He could just be upset. After a moment, his mom pulled back.
"You don't have to figure everything out tonight."
Ryo nodded.
"But you should talk to them again when you're ready."
"I will."
"And Sakuya?"
Ryo looked at her.
"Especially him."
Ryo gave a small, tired smile.
"Yeah."
Later that night, Ryo sat on his bed with his phone beside him.
The group chat was still quiet.
No one had messaged.
Neither had Sakuya.
Ryo checked the screen one more time before turning his phone over. For once, he didn't pick it back up. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He had spent two weeks trying to figure out
how to tell his friends. Now they knew.
But somehow, telling them had only made the other truth harder to hide.