Chapter Text
#18 Separate work from feelings.
Oikawa never thought he’d feel like an idiot on a date. Yet, that was exactly what was happening.
On the way to the café, everything had been wonderful. They’d held hands and chatted (well, Oikawa had done the chatting), while sakura petals drifted romantically onto their heads. It was an idyllic scene, the kind you’d be hard-pressed to find elsewhere. But the moment the guys stepped inside... things went sideways.
It was a small, cozy café serving hot drinks and pastries. There weren't many customers: most sat alone or in pairs, chatting quietly or working. Moving further inside, Oikawa spotted a table by the window and headed straight for it. Out of habit, his hand reached for the back of the chair on Kageyama’s side, but it froze mid-air when it bumped into the younger setter’s hand.
Tobio looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. They stared at each other for a few seconds until Kageyama cleared his throat and asked:
– Sorry... did you want this place?
Tooru immediately pulled his hand back, thanking every god he knew that his kohai was so oblivious to social norms that he hadn't realized someone was trying to pull out a chair for him.
– No, no! I’ll sit on the other side...
In his hurry, he banged his knee against the table leg and barely stifled a squeak, forcing himself to maintain a composed expression. After discreetly rubbing the sore spot under the table, he glanced up at Kageyama, watching as the boy examined the menu with painstaking care—as if it were a new game strategy rather than just a list of coffees and pastries. The older setter’s anxiety vanished in an instant, giving way to pure endearment. The third-year rested his chin on his palm, trying to suppress a smile. He still couldn't get used to the sight of Kageyama in that ridiculous yet adorable outfit, which contrasted a lot with his serious, scowling expression. He couldn't believe that HE alone, and no one else, had round-the-clock access to this amazing creature. Like... what do you mean, he could touch him as much as he wanted, talk to him, go out with him... It felt like some kind of cosmic privilege.
Tooru reached out and gently stroked his hair, then playfully scratched behind his ear.
Kageyama jerked away, shooting him a glare.
– What?
– Nothing... just thinking about how lucky I am.
Tobio tilted his head to the side questioningly. Fortunately, however, a waitress approached, saving Oikawa from having to give an awkward explanation. He was able to return to his rosy daydreams until their drinks and pastries arrived. Then, unwrapping a straw and carefully inserting it into the cup, the Seijoh setter asked with genuine curiosity:
– So, Tobio-chan? What have you been up to lately? How are things with the team?
Tobio gave a vague shrug as he tried to insert his own straw. When the cup wobbled precariously, Oikawa took it to do everything himself. Meanwhile, Kageyama said:
– Well, we're... training. Tsukishima just gets on everyone's nerves. And Hinata's bad at receiving... Thanks... – He absentmindedly took his cup back from Tooru, failing to notice the fleeting moment their fingers brushed against each other.
Kageyama went on at length about how poorly Hinata was playing and how his stupidity, as it turned out, extended beyond the volleyball court (he referred to Hinata's "amazing" advice regarding his outfit for this meeting). Oikawa listened without interrupting, his eyes greedily drinking in the other’s expressions. He couldn't say for sure that he was TRULY listening. He was, rather, simply savoring the sound of his kohai’s voice. Besides, the third-year was frankly AFRAID to interrupt or ask a question, worried he might knock Tobio out of this incredibly rare, talkative mood.
But then the conversation's topic shifted...
–...I tried doing everything the way you do, but it just doesn't work for me. I mean... sometimes they do something obviously stupid, and I can see that we need to play differently! I try to explain to them that we have a game against YOU coming up, and that we need to give it our best, because...
Oikawa gently pressed a finger to his lips, a slightly wry smile playing on his own face.
– Tobio... let's not get ahead of ourselves. We didn't meet here as players.
– But...
– No, no! – Tooru pressed against his lips again, making the first-year frown. – How about we talk about... us? Come on, kitty, tell me something about yourself.
At first, everythingwent incredibly slow. For the most part, Tobio just drank his coffee and ate his pastry, answering Oikawa’s questions with the occasional one-word reply. Still, the older setter was glad they’d moved away from the topic of volleyball and their upcoming match against each other. The mere thought of it made him shudder. He wanted to cover his ears and look away. That was the painful part of their relationship. And right now, in this atmosphere of absolute calm and admiration, Oikawa wanted to forget that dark side... he wanted to ignore it. Here and now, they were just ordinary guys. Not rival volleyball players.
But toward the end, just as they were getting ready to leave, a sudden spark of enthusiasm woke up in Kageyama. He began to share the tiniest details about himself—quietly, yet in surprising depth. He talked about how his math teacher seemed to hate their entire class collectively, how his father was often away on business trips, how his sister had barely spoken to him since their grandfather’s death, and how his mother kept pretending that everything was fine. Listening to this whole stream of words, Tooru honestly didn't know how to react. On one hand... God, it was awful. And yet, at the very same time all those things were happening to him, Oikawa was acting like a total jerk toward Kageyama—ignoring him, mocking him... Didn't he lose his right to be the one to comfort him?.. Did he have any right to do so now? The question burnt him from inside. Right then, all he wanted to do was hug him and comfort him. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the first-year likely wouldn't have appreciated that. So, the older guy was left with no choice but to fight back his urges and listen in silence.
Then, as they strolled slowly through the park toward their homes, Tobio suddenly blurted out:
–..Animals can't stand me, either.
The Aoba Johsai captain nearly stumbled. After the revelation that had just passed, such a remark seemed like a bad joke. Yet, when Oikawa turned to look, Kageyama’s expression was deadly serious. He stood there with his hands awkwardly shoved in his pockets as the wind ruffled his hair. A deep furrow creased his brow. Did something like that... really matter to him as much as all the other things he'd just listed?
Tooru stepped forward cautiously and, moving slowly, as if afraid to startle him, cupped Kageyama’s face in his hands, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs.
– Just look at you... The other kittens don't like you? – Tobio gritted his teeth and tried to pull away, but Oikawa only held him tighter, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. – Alright, alright... so it's true?
– Yeah...
– How did you figure that out?
– They always run away from me... All animals do. And cats.. they scratch me.
– That’s awful. But you know what? – Oikawa looked up and gave him a playful, light tap on the nose, making Tobio pout. – I’ve got a cat at home. And who knows? Maybe if I like you, he’ll like you too.
The first-year’s blue eyes went comically wide. His fingers instinctively clenched onto Tooru’s shoulders, bunching up the fabric of his light coat.
– Really?..
– Of course! Want to go now? There’s no one home yet.
Oikawa could tell for a fact that his kouhai was holding back his emotions as best he could. It showed in the way he recoiled, bit his lip, and furrowed his brows. He might have looked tense, but the way he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other betrayed his genuine eagerness to get going. The third-year grinned and grabbed his hand again, silently leading him toward his house. Yes, this was so much better after all. No volleyball, no bad memories... nothing that caused pain. They could just ignore all that and have a wonderful time. After all... the more Tooru learned today, the more convinced he became that it wasn't just the “setter” he liked. He liked, damn it, the whole of Kageyama Tobio.
– Don't be sad, Tobio-chan. Maybe he's just having a bad day... – Oikawa could barely suppress a laugh as he carefully dabbed at a small scratch on Kageyama’s sullen face.
The culprit, a fluffy white cat, sat disgruntled in the corner of the bedroom, its fur bristling.
– I told you they hate me!
– That's nonsense!
The older boy decisively set the cotton pad aside on the bed and interlaced his fingers with Kageyama’s.
– Besides... isn't having me enough? – He gave a playful, flirtatious smile. Tobio’s face instantly flushed bright red in shock. He shoved Oikawa’s shoulder and pulled away. – Don't push me!
– I'll push you if I want to! You're talking shit!
– It's called flirting!
– Do we really need that? It sounds idiotic...
– That's because you're an idiot.
Tooru suddenly gave Tobio a gentle shove against the chest, making him fall back onto the bed, while he himself hovered over him, taking in the view below: flushed cheeks, black hair scattered over the sheets and wide, surprised dark blue eyes. The younger setter was so dazed he forgot to even put up a fight. Not that he really wanted to... His arms instinctively rose to wrap around Oikawa’s neck, pulling him closer until their lips met.
It felt to Oikawa as if fireworks were exploding inside him. His whole being was ringing with delight and an overwhelming need to be even closer. He loved absolutely everything about it. He noticed the way Tobio’s breathing was ragged, the way his hands darted clumsily here and there, clutching at the fabric, while his shoulders and back remained tense. Sensing this, Tooru slowly shifted his weight onto him, gripping his waist and coaxing Kageyama into a subtle arch that forced his muscles to relax.
– That’s it, kitty... – he purred, trailing kisses slowly from Tobio’s lips down to his chin and neck. – Are you scared?..
– No... – the first-year managed to choke out, even as he pressed his legs together and turned his head away.
The older guy simply sighed in resignation and rolled away, clasping his hands behind his head. Fuck. Why... just why?.. He didn't do anything too much, right?..
– You’re lying. You know, I’m almost hurt. Am I doing something unpleasant to you?
– No, but...
– Alright, alright, – Tooru waved his hand impatiently—partly to mask his own embarrassment. – I got it. I won't rush you.
Damn patience. Oikawa wanted to throw it all to the wind—cast aside all caution and just lose himself in the moment. He was certain that if he kept going, Tobio wouldn't oppose: the pleasure would make him open up. And yet... like a nagging conscience, a memory suddenly surfaced in Tooru’s mind: middle school, the defeat against Shiratorizawa. And the moment he’d nearly his his kouhai... the boy who had run off in tears back then... No, that couldn't happen again. Tooru was terrified, deep down, of hurting him in any way. So, no rushing. No experiments. They had both been through far too much to let something so trivial tear them apart now... He just couldn't betray his trust again.
Lost in thought, Oikawa didn't notice Kageyama scooting closer and curling up against his side, hesitantly resting his head on Tooru's chest. Tooru shivered at the sudden contact. Then, his hand slowly settled onto that thick, dark hair. Tobio closed his eyes, and his shoulders instantly relaxed.
Yes... Tooru could wait. The sight of that relaxed face meant more to him than anything else in the world.