Chapter Text
By the time they reached the ship, the rest of the crew was already back on deck.
Luffy was sprawled across the figurehead.
Nami was sorting through the supplies they had brought back.
Robin sat nearby with a book.
Franky was working on something that Usopp didn't recognize.
Chopper was helping him.
Brook was playing quietly.
Usopp stopped at the bottom of the stairs.
This was his moment.
He climbed onto the deck.
"EVERYONE."
The crew looked over.
Usopp pointed dramatically behind him.
"I have discovered something."
Nami sighed.
"What did you break?"
"Nothing!"
"Did you get lost?"
"No!"
"Did you spend all the money?"
"No!"
"Then what?"
Usopp took a deep breath.
"Zoro and Sanji are dating."
Silence.
Not shocked silence.
Not horrified silence.
Just...
Silence.
Luffy blinked.
"Yeah."
Usopp waited.
"...Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What do you mean, 'yeah'?"
Luffy sat up.
"I knew that."
Usopp's mouth fell open.
"No."
"Yes."
"No, you didn't."
"I did."
"When?"
Luffy scratched his cheek.
"Some time ago."
Usopp looked toward Nami.
She wasn't surprised either.
"Don't tell me."
Nami continued sorting the supplies.
"I won't."
"You knew."
"Yes."
Usopp turned to Robin.
"You too?"
Robin smiled.
"Of course."
"Franky?"
"SUUUUPER obvious."
"Brook?"
"Yohohoho! I had my suspicions for quite some time."
Usopp's face went blank.
He looked at Chopper.
The reindeer immediately raised his hands.
"I didn't want to say anything!"
"YOU KNEW TOO?"
"I thought you knew!"
Usopp slowly turned toward Sanji.
The cook had set the groceries down and was now lighting a cigarette.
Zoro had already moved toward the kitchen.
Neither seemed particularly interested in the conversation.
Usopp's eye twitched.
"All of you knew."
Robin closed her book.
"Most of us."
"Who didn't?"
Everyone looked at Usopp.
He stared back.
"Don't."
Nami smiled.
"You were the only one."
Usopp's shoulders dropped.
"Of course."
Luffy suddenly laughed.
"That's funny!"
Usopp spun around.
"What's funny about this?!"
"You didn't know."
"YES, LUFFY, I DIDN'T KNOW!"
"How?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
Luffy laughed harder.
Usopp looked around desperately.
"Wait."
Something had just occurred to him.
"If everyone knew..."
He pointed toward Nami.
"How?"
Nami shrugged.
"Girls notice things."
Robin nodded.
"Usually."
Usopp looked genuinely offended.
"That's it?"
"What else do you want?"
"A detailed explanation!"
Nami leaned against the railing.
"Fine."
She began counting on her fingers.
"They spend a lot of time together."
"That's because they fight."
"Sometimes."
"They share food."
"Sanji feeds everyone."
"Zoro doesn't let everyone steal from his plate."
Usopp opened his mouth.
Then stopped.
Nami continued.
"They disappear together."
"They're probably fighting."
Robin added, "They also come back together."
Usopp's expression darkened.
"Okay."
"And they look for each other whenever something happens."
"That's..."
He hesitated.
"That's normal."
Nami raised an eyebrow.
"Is it?"
Usopp looked away.
"No."
Robin smiled.
"There's also the way they talk to each other."
"What way?"
"They don't need to explain themselves."
Usopp glanced toward the kitchen.
Sanji was saying something to Zoro.
Zoro replied with only a few words.
Sanji immediately understood.
No argument.
No confusion.
Just that familiar ease.
Usopp frowned.
"How did I miss all of this?"
Nami laughed.
"Because you were busy making up stories about them."
"That is completely unrelated."
"Is it?"
Usopp folded his arms.
"Yes."
Robin's smile grew.
"You once told us they were secretly fighting over who would become captain."
Usopp looked away.
"That was a reasonable theory."
"No, it wasn't."
"It could have been!"
Luffy raised his hand.
"I thought it was funny."
"Nobody asked you."
The conversation might have ended there.
It should have ended there.
Unfortunately, Luffy had apparently developed an entirely different idea.
"So..."
He looked toward Zoro.
"When's the wedding?"
The swordsman stopped mid-step.
Sanji slowly turned around.
Usopp had completely forgotten about that.
Nami closed her eyes.
"Oh no."
Luffy's grin widened.
"You're getting married, right?"
Sanji exhaled smoke through his nose.
"We're engaged."
Usopp's head snapped toward him.
"You didn't tell me how that happened!"
"You didn't let me finish."
"When were you planning to?!"
"I wasn't."
Usopp looked ready to collapse.
Luffy jumped to his feet.
"WE'RE HAVING A WEDDING!"
"No."
"YES!"
"No."
"We'll have cake!"
Sanji hesitated.
Luffy noticed.
"See? You want cake."
"That is not the issue."
"We'll decorate the ship!"
Franky suddenly stood up.
"NOW THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN GET BEHIND!"
"Franky, don't."
"SUUUUPER WEDDING!"
"Please don't encourage him."
Too late.
Luffy had already begun running around the deck.
"We need flowers!"
"Why?"
"Because weddings have flowers!"
"Who told you that?"
"Robin!"
Robin smiled innocently.
"I may have mentioned it once."
"We need music!"
Brook immediately started playing a cheerful melody.
"We need food!"
Sanji rubbed his forehead.
"Obviously."
"We need a giant cake!"
"No giant cake."
"Three cakes!"
"That's worse."
"Five!"
"You're not helping."
Usopp stood frozen in the middle of the chaos.
He had wanted a little chaos.
Instead, they had actually started planning a wedding.
Nami looked at him.
"Stop them."
"Why?"
"Because this is going to make us poor!"
"We literally just got back from a huge adventure. I'm sure you wouldn't get out of this without their money."
Nami smiled.
"I think you're right. It's rather sweet."
"You're enjoying this."
"Very much."
Usopp turned toward Robin.
"Please help us."
She calmly turned another page.
"I think you started this."
Usopp stared at her.
"...You're right."
The situation only became worse after dinner.
Luffy had somehow managed to convince Franky to sketch a wedding altar and a dance floor.
Brook had begun composing music.
Chopper wanted to make flowers out of paper.
Nami was calculating costs.
Robin had offered to help with decorations.
And Sanji was standing in the middle of it all, staring at his captain like he was reconsidering every decision that had led him onto the Going Merry years ago.
Zoro, meanwhile, was sitting against the mast.
He looked perfectly comfortable.
Usopp approached him.
"You're really not going to stop this?"
Zoro opened one eye.
"Why?"
"Because it's your wedding."
"So?"
"So you should have an opinion."
Zoro thought about it.
"Food."
Usopp stared.
"What?"
"There should be good food."
"That's your only requirement?"
"And sake."
"Of course."
Zoro closed his eye again.
Usopp sighed.
"You two are impossible."
"Probably."
For once, Usopp didn't argue.
He sat beside him.
After a moment, he asked quietly:
"Are you happy?"
Zoro opened his eye again.
This time, he didn't joke.
"Yeah."
Usopp nodded.
He looked toward Sanji.
The cook was in the middle of arguing with Luffy about cake sizes.
Sanji caught Zoro's gaze from across the deck.
For a moment, neither said anything.
Sanji smiled.
Zoro smiled back.
It was subtle.
Barely there.
But Usopp saw it.
And suddenly, he understood why everyone else had known.
It wasn't one big clue.
It was hundreds of little things.
The kind of things you noticed when you cared enough to look.
Usopp smiled to himself.
"Okay."
Zoro glanced over.
"What?"
"I get it now."
"Good."
"Still think you could've told me."
"Maybe."
"You're terrible friends."
Zoro laughed.
Later that night, everyone finally began settling down.
The deck was quiet again.
Usopp stood near the railing, watching the moonlight shimmer across the ocean.
He heard footsteps approaching.
Sanji.
The cook stopped beside him and handed him a cup.
"Here."
Usopp took it.
"What's this?"
"Tea."
Usopp looked suspiciously into the cup.
"You didn't poison me?"
Sanji scoffed.
"If I wanted you dead, I'd simply let Zoro train you."
Usopp laughed.
For a while, they stood together in silence.
Then Usopp spoke.
"So you're really going to marry him."
Sanji smiled.
"That's the plan."
"How long have you known?"
"That I wanted to?"
Usopp nodded.
Sanji looked toward the dark horizon.
"Long enough."
There was something softer in his voice now.
No teasing.
No sarcasm.
Usopp smiled.
"You know, I always thought the two of you would eventually kill each other."
"Some days, that's still a possibility."
"Sanji."
"I'm joking."
"Mostly?"
"Mostly."
Usopp laughed.
Then he remembered something.
"Wait."
Sanji glanced at him.
"What?"
"Does Luffy actually know what marriage means?"
Sanji stared at him.
"No."
From somewhere behind them came Luffy's voice.
"I KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE MEANS!"
Both turned.
Luffy was standing on the deck with a huge grin.
Sanji sighed.
"You've been listening?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think marriage means?"
Luffy thought for a moment.
Then answered confidently:
"You get to eat together forever."
Usopp blinked.
Sanji stared.
Zoro, from across the deck, laughed.
Luffy continued.
"And you have a party."
Sanji smiled.
"Close enough."
Usopp shook his head.
"That's the dumbest definition I've ever heard."
Luffy grinned.
"But it's a good one."
Usopp couldn't argue with that.
The next morning, Usopp woke up to the sound of hammering.
He opened his cabin door.
Franky was already building something.
Nami was shouting at him.
Chopper was carrying flowers.
Brook was practicing.
Luffy was holding a sign that read:
ZORO & SANJI'S WEDDING — SOON!!!
Usopp stared.
"I just can't believe this."
Luffy waved.
"Morning!"
"Morning..."
"Want to help?"
"Not now."
"Okay!"
Luffy ran away.
Usopp stood there for a moment.
Then slowly smiled.
Maybe this wasn't such a terrible outcome.
He had been so focused on believing he had discovered a secret.
He hadn't even thought about what that really meant.
The "secret" had been sitting right in front of him.
The crew had known.
The girls had known.
Luffy had somehow known.
Even Chopper had known.
And somehow, despite all of that, nobody had thought to tell him.
Usopp sighed.
"I still can't believe I'm the last one."
Nami passed behind him.
"You'll get over it."
"I won't."
"You will."
"I won't."
She kept walking.
"Give it a day."
Usopp watched her disappear.
Then he heard Sanji yelling at Luffy.
"PUT THAT SIGN DOWN!"
"But I like it!"
"It's crooked!"
"It's supposed to be!"
Zoro's voice came from somewhere nearby.
"Let him keep it."
Sanji groaned.
Usopp laughed.
He finally understood.
There was no grand conspiracy.
No reason to feel left out.
They had simply been living their lives.
And he'd been too busy telling stories to notice the one happening right in front of him.
Usopp picked up his slingshot.
He had a wedding to help with.
He walked toward the others with a grin.
"Hey!"
Luffy turned.
"What?"
Usopp raised a hand.
"If you really want the best wedding..."
Everyone looked at him.
He smiled.
"...then I'm giving the speech."
Sanji immediately looked horrified.
"Absolutely not."
Zoro started laughing.
Luffy cheered.
"YES!"
Nami smiled.
Robin closed her book.
Franky raised both arms.
"SUUUUPER!"
Usopp grinned wider.
For once, nobody was going to doubt him.
Because this time, he had witnesses.
And, for better or worse, the entire crew was going to hear his version of the story.
Even if it took the entire wedding.
Especially if it did.