Chapter Text
The pizza was ate in a comfortable silence, Steven Universe on our tv screen. It was a blur of colours as I was no longer paying much attention to the plot of this episode. I finished my third slice and took a sip of my ribena mixed with wine. Not the best concoction, but I was about three glasses in so the taste wasn’t much of a bother anymore.
“I think I might be bi,” I said, nervously fidgeting with my cup.
“That’s okay too,” Phil said matter of factly. “Whatever label you want to use or don’t want to use is fine. It’s okay. As long as you’re happy and comfortable with who you are.”
I swallowed thickly, still playing with my cup and not looking up from my lap. “I’m not comfortable with who I am,” I mumbled to myself but I knew he heard me. He scooted closer to me, setting his food down and pulled me into him.
“I know,” he whispered. “I want to help. You just have to tell me how.”
I set my glass down and buried my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent deeply. “I need you..”
Phil lifted my head up and this time he didn’t wait — he pressed his lips against mine and I felt myself fall apart. I kissed back desperately — embarrassingly so — and he shifted us so he was laying back with me on top of him. He gripped my waist tight, holding me firmly in place.
“Dan, we can stop whenever you want,” he whispered, but I pressed our lips back together. My tongue working its way into his mouth. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to kiss him until my lips were numb and I wanted him to touch me until the fire burning under my skin was put out. I needed this.
I brought my knees up on either side of him, straddling his hips and pressed down; both of us releasing a moan at the same time. I’ve never been with another guy before, never been this close to another guy before. Only Phil. We’ve shared small pecks and gentle touches and cuddles before, but never like this except years ago when we first met. Back when we were young and curious, or perhaps I was the one who was curious. I pressed down again and this time I felt him grind his hips up.
“Fuck,” I moaned out and I pressed my palm flat against his racing heart, burying my face into his neck. The feeling was overwhelming.
“Should we stop?” He was out of breath, but still somehow managed to sound composed.
I nodded in reply. The heat in my lower stomach and throbbing between my legs beginning to settle. “I’m sorry…”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” He rubbed up and down my back soothingly and I felt him press a kiss into my hair. “Take your time. And remember to breathe.”
I nodded once again and tried to mimic his own inhales and exhales, calming down slowly. My body relaxed against his after a few minutes and I opened my eyes to see that he had started another episode of SU. I could hear him humming softly, his fingertips tracing circles on the small of my back and I sighed.
“Better,” he asked, looking down at me.
“Better.”