Chapter Text
Steam rose from the pot, wafting into the air and condensing on Dark's safety goggles. He rubbed them off irritatedly. "Stupid water. It could just stay vapor… or small drops… But nooo, it just has to condense in big globs all over my goggles!"
"Well," Chosen mumbled, looking up from the free magazine that they'd gotten in the mail this morning, "you could just not wear the goggles. Or, you know, not cook."
"Hey!" said Dark indignantly, "It's not like I'm going to put arsenic in the stew or anything. This is just instant ramen and that broth you bought—um, stole—yesterday."
"Hmm. You might poison it, I don't know…"
Chosen began counting on their fingers. "Reasons to not eat the stew: One, it's probably poison. Two, I don't trust the Dark Lord to cook. Three… uh, did I mention possible food poisoning?"
"Yes…" Dark groaned, pouring out the supposed stew out into bowls and deftly carrying them to the table. "Just eat the damn thing."
"…Hard pass."
Violently grabbing the magazine from Chosen's hands, Dark raised his fork and directed it at Chosen. "Eat, or you're going to have death by fork on your tombstone."
Chosen raised their hands in surrender. "Alright, alright." They attempted to slowly lift the bowl to their mouth, but Dark pushed it fast and a couple drops of the watery liquid splashed against their face. "…ow, it's hot." Chosen placed down the bowl without drinking.
"You're clearly lying because you have heat resistance. So just drink it."
"You're four years younger than me. Why are you acting like my parent?" Chosen complained.
"Just eat it."
"Are you calling it eating or drinking—"
Dark growled, a low, rumbling sound in his throat. "By the cursors, at this point I think you'd rather die than eat. Maybe we can test that, hmm?"
Letting out a sigh of defeat, Chosen brought the rim of the bowl to their lips and took a sip. "…Wow, okay, it's actually not bad."
After taking another drink to confirm that it wasn't poison, Chosen unhinged their jaw and swallowed the entire thing whole, overcooked ramen, watery broth, porcelain bowl and all.
Triumphantly, Dark downed his entire bowl as well before placing it down on the table. "See? It's not poisoned."
"Hrmph." was Chosen's reply.
"Maybe I should cook from here on out." Dark continued.
"Please do, actually."
Flashing his sharp teeth in a grin, Dark stood up. After rummaging around in their rather pathetic pantry, he turned back to Chosen proudly holding a large bag of flour.
"Uh oh." Chosen muttered, trying to hide the growing smile on his face.
"Sooo…" Dark said, his voice toned like a question but Chosen knew was really a statement,
"who's ready for dessert?"