Chapter Text
Youngjae put his keys in the door lock and took a deep breath before opening the door. He’s never broken up with anyone before, no one has broken up with him before. He’s never even been in a relationship after Jaebum and before Mark. People come and go and it never lasts long enough for either him or whoever he’s with to care if they call or don’t after a night together. He doesn’t know how to do this.
He doesn’t want to come on too strong and hurt Mark’s feelings. Because in all honesty, Mark is amazing, he treats him right and cares about him. Always asks whether he’s doing okay, if he’s hungry, if he wants to go out. He really deserves someone that cares about him the same way. And Youngjae tried, God, he tried so hard. But no one can ever replace what’s already stamped on his heart.
“You’re home!” Coco ran up to him as he stepped his foot inside the apartment. He picked her up and went to sit next to Mark. Mark’s arm wrapped around him and he pulled Youngjae in for a kiss, but Youngjae didn’t kiss back. “What’s wrong?”
Can he do it? Can he really hurt those sweet eyes? He can’t even look at them for more than a second after he just denied him the kiss. “I’m just tired,” he sighed and gave Coco to Mark. He got up and headed for their room to change, and to breathe because he felt like his lungs were closing up.
Should he call Jaebum? No, he’s probably home already and he doesn’t want to ruin his good mood.
“Youngjae?” Mark peeked from the door. He gave a quick hum in response as he changed into sweats. “Are you OK?”
“Yea, it was a long day.” That was not a lie.
“I’m sorry,” he walked closer to Youngjae, and Youngjae froze in place. Why is he being so touchy tonight? He moved a bit quickly towards the closet, anywhere else to be honest, and fiddled with his t-shirts and took his time deciding which to wear. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m okay, thanks.” If he could slap himself right now, he would. This must be awkward if he were to look at them from another point of view. Why is he being such a dick? Why can’t he look Mark in the eye and just tell him!
“I taught Coco a new trick!” he took a seat on their bed and waited for Youngjae to turn to him, get excited with him about their dog like he always does.
“Really?” but he never did. He kept pretending to look through the closet.
“Wanna see?” Mark called for Coco and she came running excited to be held by her dad. “Coco show daddy how you wink,” he placed her on the bed and laid in front of her, “Youngjae, come look. She’ll wink when I wink,” and Youngjae gave up and went to see. And she winked, and it was adorable and on any other day he’d laugh obnoxiously loud and and give her lots of kisses, but all he could do tonight was a small chuckle. “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re not even laughing. This is adorable!” Mark got up and stood dangerously close to Youngjae. “Did something happen at work? Is someone bothering you?”
Oh fuck it.
“Something happened.” He started pacing back and forth, how should he start this? “Sit, this might be long.” And Mark did as he was told.
He’s just going to come out and say it. There’s no other way. Mark isn’t going to like Youngjae breaking up with him, so might as well tell him about Jaebum and just get it over with.
“It’s about Jaebum,” Youngjae saw Mark’s eyebrow shoot up. “Last week I found out he’s working at the same company.” Mark was silent, but that was expected of him. He’s calm and he thinks things through, but Youngjae still had that 1% chance of doubt that he will get angry right away playing at the back of his mind. “We talked,” he watched Mark carefully, he was still calm, looking at him carefully. Eyes calculating every word. “He explained things,” Mark’s fists dug into the mattress.
“What did he explain?” his voice was calm, the opposite of his fists, twisting the bed sheets. “How he broke your heart? How he broke your trust?” his voice became an octave louder, and Youngjae began to feel a little wary.
“He had his reasons,” Youngjae’s voice on the other hand, was small.
“Oh yea? Enlighten me!” Youngjae really didn’t have to tell him. It wasn’t his business to worry about. Sure, they’d been dating for a few months, but it wasn’t like they were in love. He knows Mark has a lot of love to give, but he couldn’t understand why he hated Jaebum so much when he never even met the guy. He really didn’t even know that much about him. He only knew that they were best friends and that he broke Youngjae’s heart. He didn’t know the intimate details, the long nights they spent just playing with each other’s hands. Or the nights they would just lazily kiss on Youngjae’s bed. He didn’t know and he could never understand that what they had was something you could never forget about, even after five years. Even after ten years.
“All you need to know is that I want to make it work with him,” Mark chuckled and shook his head, he let Coco out of his lab.
“Really? So what, we’re breaking up? All because he showed up in your life again? All it takes is what, a few days and you go running back to him? After what he did to you?” Mark was standing now, and he was yelling. Youngjae has never seen him like this, he wanted to calm him down, but he didn’t know how he could at this moment. He knew Mark is angry, he didn’t want to let him go. He tried so hard to get Youngjae to say yes to go out on a date, and he tried even harder to get them to keep the dates going. Youngjae didn’t want to, he didn’t want to get involved in a relationship, the longest he’s gone after Jaebum was a few nights in a week with the same person. Because people leave, and they forget, and he didn’t want to get attached to anyone again.
“I’m sorry Mark,” and it was the best he could offer him.
“Yea, whatever.” He scoffed and left the room. Leaving Youngjae alone in their room, feeling empty. He thought about calling Jaebum and telling him about what happened, but he thought it would be best to leave it until the morning.
He took Mark’s seat on the bed, in all honesty, he expected Mark to fight for him. To yell even more, but he just…accepted it.
Coco came to the rescue, sensing that there is something wrong. He hugged her tiny body and ruffled her hair.
A few minutes later he heard the front door slamming and figured it was Mark going out for some air.
He felt bad, he really did. Mark has been there for him a lot. He’s done so much for him, and Youngjae just…he was so eager to replace him as soon as Jaebum came back into his life. If he looked at it from Mark’s point of view, it would look as if Youngjae might not have cared about him at all, he would think that Youngjae would rather have Jaebum, who broke his heart, than be with Mark who did nothing but treat him right and has done nothing but make him feel at ease and at home. He would rather choose a jerk over Mark and Mark had every right to be angry.
But Youngjae loved Jaebum. What could he do, really?
**
When Youngjae woke up the next morning, he found Coco laying next to him sleeping soundly and Mark not in their room. He checked the rest of the apartment and didn’t find him, so he sent out a few texts to Mark’s friends wondering if he stayed at their places. When he got a response, he was able to relax a little.
He got dressed and headed to work. Where he’ll see Jaebum. Where he can kiss him, and have his arms around him.
And when he arrived at work, he didn’t bother stopping by his office at first. He headed straight to Jaebum’s and from the window he saw him typing away on his computer and he smiled to himself.
There he was; the man he was in love with. He was so incredibly alluring just in that position alone and Youngjae felt his heart skip a few beats when Jaebum’s eyes landed on his. For a moment, he felt like a creep just looking at Jaebum through his office window, but that soon passed when he opened the door and Jaebum gave him a big smile that truly brightened the room.
“Good morning, Bummie,” Youngjae walked around the desk to give his Bummie a kiss. It felt so, so good to think like that. His Bummie. Jaebum pulled him down so that Youngjae sat on his lap and he wrapped both hands around him, pulling him closer.
“Good morning, Jae.” He stroked Youngjae’s hair and purred in his ear. Youngjae hugged him, tightly, and Jaebum chuckled. “What’s that for?”
“I miss you so much, I want to hug you all the time from now on!” He kissed his hair and his cheeks and his jaw, and saved his lips for last.
Jaebum laughed, and Youngjae felt his lungs open up.
“I love that laugh, I love you! I love your face, and your hair, and your arms, and your legs and your everything. I love you,” he kissed him anywhere he could, “I love you,” another kiss, “I love you,” another kiss. And Jaebum kept laughing.
“Okay, okay,” he managed to say in between getting his breathing in order. The smile that played on Youngjae’s lips couldn’t be helped. “I love you too!” he pecked Youngjae’s nose.
Youngjae got up, figuring that Jaebum’s legs must be hurting by now. “I broke up with Mark,” he said as he leaned against the desk.
“You did?!” Jaebum pressed his lips and nodded carefully. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
“I told you he wouldn’t hut me, he’s a martial arts instructor and he probably could if he wanted to, but he wouldn’t hurt me. But we talked and things got heated and then he left and he hasn’t gotten back to our place yet.”
“Is he picking up the phone?”
“No, but I got in touch with one of his friends and he’s over at their place.”
“So, what happens now?” he rested his hand on the desk, and Youngjae reached out to lace his fingers with Jaebum’s.
“I don’t know. I probably need to look for an apartment, I don’t think he wants me to stay in our current one since it’s technically his…”
“Move in with me!” The words came out of Jaebum’s mouth so fast, Youngjae though someone else was in the room with them. “Come on, we’d be great roommates!” The wink that Jaebum gave was tempting him, but they just found each other again, should they really be doing this…
“I don’t know… Do you think we should? After all that time…”
Jaebum got up from his chair and positioned himself between Youngjae’s legs. “Of course! Come on Youngjae,” he brushed his cheek with the back of his hand. “It’ll be like old times, remember when we would have sleepovers?” Jaebum said this and Youngjae started blushing furiously. “So you do remember, then.” Jaebum chuckled and gave Youngjae’s forehead a kiss. “I’m here for you, until the end.” At this, Youngjae gave Jaebum a big smile. “Until I’m old and gray,” that made Youngjae laugh. “Until I can’t pee on my own anymore,” and that got him to laugh even harder and louder. “So, what do you say?”
“You make a tempting offer, old man” Jaebum raised his eyebrow, Youngjae has not changed one bit. Sarcasm ready to fall off his tongue in any given moment. “I’ll think about it,” he said as he removed Jaebum’s hands from his waist and pushed himself off the desk.
Jaebum took a step back and Youngjae started to move towards the door, but Jaebum was quicker, he got a hold of his hand and turned him around. Whispering in his ear “We can fuck any time we want. We can be as dirty and as filthy as you want, and you can be as loud as you want.” Youngjae felt Jaebum’s breath tickle his ear, his hands solid on his hips keeping him in place. “My place is sound proof, I want to hear you scream for me.” He smirked and raised his eyebrow at the last statements and bit on his bottom lip, and they looked delicious. He knew by the look Youngjae was casting his way that the younger boy wanted to kiss him as much as Jaebum wanted to kiss him. But Jaebum knew that they had to talk bout things.
“’We can be as dirty and as filthy as I want’?” Youngjae scoffed. “Do you want me to remind you of what we did back then? What you would suggest that you do to me? Or what I should do to you?”
“I’m totally innocent!” Jaebum held up his hands in defense. “You were the kinky one,” he pulled Youngjae closer again, Youngjae yelped and Jaebum smirked, “And it was hot!” He gave him a sloppy kiss, and Youngjae loved it, soft moans escaping from that beautiful throat. His hands didn’t know where to rest, he wanted to touch Youngjae’s everything, every square inch of his body. So he started to unbutton Youngjae’s shirt, and his bare skin peeked out. Jaebum broke the kiss and just looked at his Jae, his bare chest and his moles staring right at him, he wanted to kiss every single mole on Youngjae’s beautiful body. He wanted to kiss and love every part of him as if the world would end tomorrow.
Youngjae brought Jaebum’s face to his level and he gave him a sweet and light kiss that Jaebum honestly thought that he would melt right on the spot.
“Your window is clear; people could have seen us kissing!” Youngjae looked so good with his messy hair and his messy clothes.
“You weren’t worried bout that before,” he fiddled with Youngjae’s shirt collar and straightened it.
“What am I going to do about Mark?”
He sighed, “I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes, he didn’t want to think about Youngjae’s boyfriend. He only wanted to touch and kiss and love his Jae. “You should have a plan,” he knows there’s no need for one, but there was always a chance that maybe Jaebum’s right. He walked to the water cooler, because his throat felt dry and he didn’t want Youngjae to see his frustration. He just wanted things to be over already. He wanted Youngjae in his home, wanted to wake up to him playing with his hair.
“I don’t need a plan with Mark,” maybe he doesn’t… At this, Jaebum raised his eyebrows unimpressed. “With Mark, things just come out from the heart. I didn’t plan on what to tell him last night, I was very nervous, but I didn’t plan it.”
“Yea and it made him storm out of the house,” Youngjae hung his head low. Maybe there was another way things could’ve turned out better and lead to Mark staying and them working things out “Baby,” he walked closer and stroked Youngjae’s hair, “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know,” he nodded. “But I already had one person walk away from me, wouldn’t want to add to the list.”
“I said I’m sorry,” his voice was small, unlike a few moments before.
Youngjae’s hands reached up to Jaebum’s face and he gave him a small kiss. “I know.”
**
On the way back from the bathroom, Jaebum saw Jinyoung in the halls.
“Good morning?” he asked with a smirk.
“Uh, yea... Yea. You?”
“Same old, same old.” He shrugged. “You, though, it looked like you have a very good morning.”
Jaebum rolled his eyes, and Jinyoung laughed, making the corners of his eyes crinkle.
“So you saw,” he sighed.
“A lot of people saw.” He wondered how Jinyoung was okay with this given his feelings for Jaebum.
“You’re okay with that?” he was confused with at the beginning, but he started to understand.
“I will be,” he pressed his lips and kept walking to where he was heading.
Jaebum hoped he will be.
**
When he reached home, Youngjae found Mark on the kitchen floor feeding Coco. He didn’t even spare a glance towards him.
“You’re home!” Youngjae went to the kitchen and sat next to Mark and petted Coco.
“I am,” he didn’t look at Youngjae and it hurt. But he was calm, so Youngjae was thankful for that.
“Can we talk about yesterday?”
“Yea,” he sighed and got off the floor and Youngjae followed him to the living room.
When they sat on their couch, Youngjae began. “So yes-“
“Youngjae,” Mark took his hands in his, “It’s okay.” Mark went on when he saw Youngjae confused, “I get it. You and Jaebum had what we would’ve never had no matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard I tried. I’m okay with that now. I’ve actually known it for a while but I didn’t want to admit to it.” His thumb stroked Youngjae’s palm and he looked so calm it kind of scared Youngjae.
“So, you’re okay with this?”
“As okay as I’ll ever be,” he pressed his lips and looked at their feet. Youngjae felt his heart tearing, Mark really didn’t deserve someone as shitty as Youngjae.
“I’m sorry,” what else could he say?
“It’s okay. I could never compete with him. The first time you told me about him I knew that we wouldn’t last. You just,” he raised his hand and brushed Youngjae’s hair out of his eyes, “you look so different when you talk about him, it’s like he never hurt you at all, or like you never even believed that he did what he did.” He chuckled to himself, keeping his head down. “It was so silly of me to know this and still hope that I could change your mind and make you forget him.”
“But it’s okay, Youngjae. Don’t feel bad about any of this. I’ve always wanted you to be happy, and this won’t change that.”
“I’m sorry I did this to you, Mark.” And he really is sorry, he took six months away from him. He could’ve found someone that loved him back the way he loves so freely.
“Don’t worry about me.” His hand came up under Youngjae’s jaw, made him look him in the eyes. “You tried your best, and it didn’t work out. It’s okay. Good luck, with all of it. And if he hurts you, use the moves I taught you!” Youngjae chuckled in this serious moment, and Mark smiled at the sight. He sighed, and moved away from Youngjae. “I love you, Youngjae. I really hope you guys work out.” He gave Youngjae’s hand a squeeze and left for their room.
Youngjae was glad that this went smoothly, he expected a lot of yelling and screaming. Mark can get jealous pretty easily, and he’s gotten petty over things in the past and eventually let them go but it takes him a while, but now… Now he’s calm and accepting this fast?
Maybe it really does show on Youngjae’s face when he mentions Jaebum how in love he is with him…
A few hours later of sitting in the living room and not daring to go check on Mark, Youngjae decided he would go and pick up dinner. It’d give him some time to breathe, and he wanted to call Jaebum. “Mark, I’m going to pick up dinner,” he yelled as he got his shoes on. His phone buzzed and Mark had sent him a text instead of simply just telling Youngjae what he wanted. “We’re in the same house, Mark!” he yelled as he made his way out of the apartment.
While he waited, he called “Bum Bum”.
“Miss me already?”
Youngjae snorted, “So anyway,” he heard Jaebum laughing on the other end and he couldn’t help the soft laughter that escaped him. “Me and Mark are over,” he held his breath for any sort of indicator of a celebration from Jaebum.
But it never came, he sighed and said “I’m sorry, Jae.”
“Me too,” and he really was. He felt like a selfish ass for holding on to Mark just because he didn’t want to be lonely. “He seemed okay with it though.”
“Come over tonight,” Jaebum’s voice lowered a few octaves, and he spoke slower. If Youngjae’s memory worked right, it meant Jaebum is in the mood.
“I can’t. I’m getting dinner for me and Mark.” He wanted to go to Jaebum and do his favorite activity with the love of his life, but the least thing he could do is feed Mark since he promised him.
“Baby,” it was almost a whisper. “Please.”
His cheeks heated up, the image of Jaebum laying in bed with his eyes closed and moaning for Youngjae made him want to run out of the restaurant. Forgetting that he even made an order and it would have been ready if he wasn’t so horny on the thought of Jaebum getting off on his voice. He could go for a little while… It’s still early for dinner, he had time…
And technically Youngjae is single so he doesn’t have to feel guilty about anything…
“…give me ten minutes!”
**
He stepped off the elevator and tried to calm his beating heart. He’s nervous! He could’ve gotten in about ten accidents on the way here! He wanted him. He wanted him so badly!
He rang the door bell and he heard a soft meow from inside. And when the door opened, his mouth fell open. Jaebum’s undercut hair was messy and it looked incredible, he wore a loose tank top that showed off his arms and those damn shoulders, and he had basketball shorts on. He looked so good, but Youngjae didn’t have time to comment on that, he was being pulled inside the apartment and getting attacked with kisses. And he didn’t mind. Not one bit.
Youngjae kissed Jaebum back with every ounce he had, he kissed him with all his will. He kissed him and he wanted to inhale him, he missed him so much. Too much. And then Jaebum took his hand and practically ran to his room. He closed the door so Nora wouldn’t come in and he pushed Youngjae on the bed, Youngjae laughing at Jaebum’s and how needy he’s being, and Jaebum looking at him like he’s a starving man in the Sahara Desert and Youngjae was a tall and cold glass of water! And honestly, Youngjae shivered under Jaebum’s gaze. He’s only seen Jaebum like this a handful of times. He’s always been playfully horny, but now, now it seems as if Youngjae is his saving grace.
He crawled on top of Youngjae and gave him slow kisses, so unlike the ones he was met with at the door. But it was okay, Jaebum can take his time. He can do whatever he wants.
“I miss you so much!” he said between kisses down Youngjae’s chest. “I miss your moles,” he watched as Jaebum kissed them all.
“Bummie,” he wanted him to kiss him instead of the moles. He already misses his lips. Jaebum hummed as he unbuckled Youngjae’s jeans, “Kiss me again.”
“Anything for you, baby,” he looked up at him and smirked. He kissed him and kissed him until their lips were burning and Youngjae loved Jaebum like this, hair messy from his tugging while they kissed, his lips red from the contact, his face flushed because of him. He forgot how good it felt to make Im Jaebum blush, the ladies man Im Jaebum. He loved how Jaebum totally lost power under his control.
He overpowered Jaebum when he wasn’t looking, brushing his hair and smiling at Youngjae, and straddled him. “Anything?” he smirked, holding Jaebum’s arms in place above his head.
“Anything,” he whispered. “I’m yours,” he raised his hips against Youngjae and Youngjae watched Jaebum bite his lips. “Anything you want.”
"You're mine," so Youngjae got a little brave and got off of Jaebum and flipped him over so he was laying on his stomach and straddled him again. “You’re gonna love it! I promise,” he kissed his ear lobe and worked his way down his back.
**
When Jaebum woke up the next morning he felt a weight on his chest and something around his stomach. He rubbed his eyes and got a better look, and he felt like the happiest man on earth! He saw Youngjae sleeping on his chest with his hand laid across his stomach. He couldn’t believe the night he had! He had Youngjae back! His Jae is back in his arms and he feels the same way about him as Jaebum has felt since their high school years. He smiled to himself, because this was amazing, snuggled closer and wrapped his arms around him, kissed Youngjae’s hair and went back to sleep.
He was woken up by soft lips on his cheeks. “Good morning, Bummie!” Jaebum missed that loud voice, he missed the happiness it brought along with it at every moment of the day.
“Good morning, Jae,” he gave him a soft kiss.
And they stayed in bed like that for about an hour, just kissing lazily and giggling about actually being together at last. Jaebum admitted that he’s wanted Youngjae to do that to him for a long time, but didn’t want to know how to ask and every time it comes up he would get defensive and say no. But he loved it, he loved Youngjae and everything Youngjae does.
He’s so in love with him that he held him back when he tried to get out of bed to go back home. “Come on, JB.”
“No, stay with me.” Jaebum wasn’t good with acting cute, but he’ll try anything to get a naked Youngjae back in bed with him. “Pleaseeeeee babe,” he frowned.
“You’re not cute, you know.”
“You’re not funny, you know,” Jaebum mocked.
“No, but I’m cute as hell though!”
“Very true,” he pulled him back into bed and Youngjae fell with a soft thud. “So, so, so cute.” He nosed Youngjae’s neck, “My cute Jae.” He kissed his throat, “My cute sunshine.” His mouth traveled behind Youngjae’s ear and came back around to Youngjae’s lips, “Mine!” and he kissed him for God knows how long. “Mine,” he showered kisses from his lips to his chest. “Baby, you’re mine. I'll never let you go. ”
“I’m y-yours,” he heard Youngjae softly choke out. “Forever yours.”