Chapter Text
“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.” Achilles said with one of his signature eye rolls.
Patroclus cast a lazy smile over at his prince. He was far too amused by the irony of the situation to even bother with trying to pay attention to what Prince Hector was saying. He did, however, follow Achilles’ gaze to where the Trojan prince in question stood in the middle of the meeting hall so that he could at least pretend that he was paying attention.
“Yes, imagine that: a handsome warrior prince with an over inflated ego.” Patroclus said when there was a lull in his speech, and then, because he was feeling rather cruel, added: “Truly it’s the fault of those around him. His lover is said to be far too kind and soft spoken for her own good-- I’m sure it’s her that whispers far too many praises in his ear when they are alone.”
In a fashion typical to him, the double meaning of Patroclus’ words (and most of what he had said) went directly over Achilles’ head. “Princess Andromache is anything but soft spoken, believe me.” and then just when Patroclus was about to make a quip about Achilles’ inability to listen, he added: “Wait. Did you just call Prince Hector handsome?”
Patroclus cast a glance over at Achilles, and was subsequently forced to suppress a laugh at the all too offended look on Achilles’ face.
“Yes, I did. He’s quite fit. In addition to that he is said to be rather honorable and noble hearted.” Patroclus gave a fake dreamy sigh and cast a longing glance in Hector’s direction. “If only he were about two heads shorter he’d by just my type.”
The corners of Achilles’ mouth quirked up. It would seem he had paid enough attention to finally catch on to the game Patroclus was playing. “You may lust over Prince Hector all you like, my dear friend, but these days I find my gaze wandering over to the ever youthful and seductive Agamemnon.”
His words caught Patroclus by surprise. He let out a short bark of laughter, which he quickly attempted to disguise as a cough. Achilles played along and patted his back sympathetically, telling any on lookers that Patroclus was suffering some a bit of a cough as of late. Only King Odysseus of Ithaca seemed as though he didn’t fully believe the story, and a good natured wink at Patroclus told him that the old King had overheard far more than he would have liked.
When court resumed and no more eyes were on either of them, Patroclus leaned over and whispered “you’re truly horrible.”
“The worst.” Achilles agree, his face alight with another bright smile. He reached his hand under the table to brush against Patroclus’ fingers, and the two quietly intertwined their hands. “And I’ll have you know I’m not nearly as short as you like to paint me to be.”
“My sincerest apologies, Prince Achilles.” Patroclus said, his voice edged with sarcasm.
“He’s only a head and a half taller than me.”
Comfortable silence fell over the two as political talks droned on. After what felt like a small eternity, Hector finished his trade proposal and made to take his seat. A brief pause fell over the court, during which Ajax the greater stood and made his way towards the center of the hall, Achilles leaned over and whispered one final thing in Patroclus’ ear.
“Don’t think I have forgotten about that little crush you had on Ajax the greater upon first meeting him.
“I was eight!” Patroclus hissed, far louder than he would have liked to admit. His face burned with embarrassment.
On the opposite side of him from Achilles, Odysseus chuckled not-so-subtly behind his hand.