Chapter Text
Heimdall deposited the Rogers family on the same spot on the Wakandan palace veranda that he had transported Steve from. Darcy’s phone buzzed from the text messages sent during her brief two minutes on Asgard that were just then received since she had a signal again. She scrolled through the messages as she and Steve walked forward, Steve carrying most of the luggage as well as a sleepy Frigga while Darcy carried their son and a couple of over-the-shoulder bags.
“Looks like everyone’s ready to go,” Darcy commented. She looked up at Steve. “They should be here soon.”
Steve smiled. “That’ll be a nice surprise for the team.”
Steve led her through the wide palace corridors until they neared the end of the hall. There was no door to separate them from the large common area beyond. Stepping just into the room, they were slightly surprised to see everyone gathered, as usually there was some kind of conversation or noise going on when the Avengers were all together, but they had all been silent.
The family quickly gathered everyone’s attention as all heads snapped around to face them.
Darcy smiled awkwardly. “Uh, hey everyone!” she said cheerfully.
Natasha stood up immediately and walked over to hug Darcy. As she let go, she looked over at Steve and Frigga, who looked even tinier in Steve’s arms.
“Auntie Nat!” Frigga exclaimed and held her hands out to the smiling assassin.
Natasha smiled brightly, “Hello, malen’kaya koroleva*.”
Frigga beamed, showing her baby teeth, and hugged Natasha around the neck.
Darcy silently handed Steve their son before Natasha scolded her. “Don’t ever do something that stupid again,” she demanded in a low tone as she glared at Darcy while cuddling the toddler.
Darcy smirked. “I can make no such promises, but next time I’ll try to give you a heads up.”
Natasha shook her head with a smile and turned to everyone else who had gotten up and crowded around them.
Clint smiled with an excited gleam in his eye. “So, are we finally going to meet our new niece and nephew?”
Darcy and Steve shared a smile before Steve announced, “Everyone, this is our daughter, Frigga Sarah Rogers.”
Frigga, still held in Natasha’s arms, smiled shyly at the group. “Hi,” she whispered as she held up a hand and opened and closed her fist.
“Aww!” Wanda squealed. She held her arms out eagerly. “May I hold you?”
Frigga smiled at her and released Natasha’s neck to reach for Wanda. Natasha sighed, but passed her to Wanda and the two girls cuddled close, Wanda with an almost manic smile on her face.
Frigga ran her hand through a lock of Wanda’s hair. “Pwetty,” she said.
Wanda giggled. “Thank you. I think you are very pretty, too.”
Darcy stepped forward. “Frigga, do you remember who everyone is?”
Frigga pulled away slightly to look around her. She nodded her head and pointed to each person as she named them. “Unca Cint, Unca Sam, Unca Bucky, and Pwetty Wanda,” she finished with a pat to Wanda’s shoulder. She quickly looked back at Darcy, a small frown on her face, and whispered loudly so everyone could hear, “Mommy, I no know dem.” She pointed at Scott and T’Challa.
Steve chuckled along with everyone else. Darcy plucked Frigga out of Wanda’s arms. “Of course you do,” she said gently. “Remember the stories I’ve been telling you, especially the one about the jungle king and the jungle prince that Mommy saved?”
Frigga nodded.
“Well, this is T’Challa. He’s the jungle prince in the story, but now he’s the jungle king. He’s also the Black Panther. I showed you a picture of him. He’s the one dressed as a black cat.”
Frigga perked up. “Kitty?” she asked. She turned to face T’Challa. “Kitty!” She made grabby-hands to the bemused king. “Kitty! Kitty!”
Darcy chuckled and offered her to T’Challa, who took a hold of her and held her against his chest. Frigga immediately snuggled closer.
“Kitty my fav’it.”
T’Challa’s eyebrows rose and a smile grew on his face as he looked down at her. His eyes flicked up to look at the others and a wicked glint entered his eyes. “I’m her favorite,” he said smugly to the other male heroes.
Clint snorted. “Yeah. We’ll see about that. Need I remind you which one of us is a Norn’s favorite Avenger?”
Sam crossed his arms and glared at T’Challa as well. “Enjoy it while it lasts, Kitty. I’m gonna replace you soon enough.”
T’Challa smirked. “You can try. Birdie.”
Steve snorted in amusement. “Frigga,” he said gently. “This is Scott. He’s also Ant-Man.”
Frigga nodded. “Bug,” she declared.
Scott sighed. “Yeah,” he said with a resigned tone. “That makes sense.”
Frigga wiggled in T’Challa’s arms. “Down,” she demanded, but softened the command by patting his cheek lightly. “Down pease.”
T’Challa set her down and Frigga ran up to Bucky with a huge smile on her face. Bucky stared back, a hesitant smile gracing his lips.
Frigga held her arms up and made grabby hands. “Up.”
Bucky jumped and his body went tense, the happiness disappearing from his face as his eyes went wide and blank, blood draining rapidly as his mouth dropped a little, giving him an overall expression of dawning horror.
Frigga pouted up at him. “Up,” she said again.
Bucky seemed to shrink in on himself and, though he didn’t step back from Frigga, he did lean away from her, body turned so that his metal arm was behind him as he studied the toddler with wide-eyed wariness.
Darcy and Steve exchanged a look.
Sam, backing Bucky up, stepped towards Frigga to distract her. “Hey now! Why don’t you want me to pick you up? I thought you wanted to go flying with me?”
Frigga gasped in delight and readily turned to Sam, who quickly settled her on his hip as she hung on in contentment.
“So what about this little guy?” Sam asked, jerking his chin to the baby Steve held who was staring around at everyone with his fingers in his mouth, eyes flickering from person to person.
Steve and Darcy grinned at each other and she shook her head.
“Sorry guys. Not just yet,” Darcy told them.
Clint crossed his arms. “But we can’t not know his name when he’s right here.”
Darcy didn’t respond as she pushed past the group to approach the high-tech tv console in the sitting area.
“Take a seat,” she told them with a careless wave. “TC, you have an attached camera to this, right?”
T’Challa’s brow rose in interest. “Yes,” he replied.
Natasha’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she moaned. “Darcy, please don’t tell me we’re having another video chat,” she begged.
“Okay. I won’t tell you.”
Natasha sighed.
“Relax,” Darcy defended. “This one is private. I just need several people,” she said as she typed on her phone with her right hand and pushed a few buttons on the television remote with her left, “to accept the call.”
And with that, the tv mounted on the wall turned on divided down the middle into two sections.
On the left were Pepper, Tony, Rhodey, and Vision, with Happy just barely seen in the background. On the right stood Phil Coulson and the remaining core members of his team at his hidden SHIELD base.
All of the people looked slightly confused, as though they weren’t sure why she had called them nor what exactly had made them answer.
“Darcy!” Pepper yelled out.
Tony pressed closer to her to be in the frame as well. “Are you okay, Kiddo?”
Darcy smiled. “I’m fine. No injuries.” She rested her hands on her hips. “I’m perfectly healthy.”
“Good,” Pepper stated. “Which means there’s nothing holding me back from YELLING AT YOU!” Pepper shrieked with wide eyes and bared teeth. “Darcy Maria Lewis! What on earth has gotten into you? How dare you act so carelessly?” she chastised. “And pregnant? You’re pregnant!” Pepper shouted in a slightly surprised tone, like she was just then taking it in. “You’re pregnant and you’re married and you’re a mom and all with Steve and-and-and you kept this from us! And-and you Steven Grant Rogers!”
Steve stiffened with wide eyes as Pepper addressed him.
“You two-I just-you-urgh!” Pepper balled her fists and squeezed her eyes closed. An orange flame flared under Pepper’s skin for a moment. “I’m so upset I can’t even talk straight!” she huffed.
Darcy winced. “I’m sorry. This sucks. I really wish I could have told you guys, but I couldn’t!”
Pepper’s eyes glistened with moisture. “And I get why. I do, but I just hate that this was kept from me...and from Tony. You’re practically our daughter!”
Tony coughed and looked away from the screen.
“Young lady,” Pepper continued, “you have a lot of explaining to do, let me tell you.” Pepper took in a deep breath and smoothed out her clothes to get herself under control. “However,” she spoke in a measured tone, “we can discuss it once we are all together again.” She narrowed her eyes. “Steven Grant Rogers,” hissed Pepper in a low voice. “Let me tell you right now that if you ever hurt Darcy, I will destroy you so thoroughly that history will no longer remember your name.”
Steve blinked as he nodded once carefully.
Rhodey coughed into his fist. “Well then,” he stated with nervous eyes. “What uh, what’s going on?”
Darcy’s eyes flickered to him. “Well, I called because I wanted to introduce you to my kids. I know that in person would be better, but I wanted to see everyone’s reaction when you all found out our son’s name,” she informed him.
Rhodey nodded. “Oh, well then. Carry on.”
“Miss Lewis,” interrupted Phil Coulson, before he blinked in realization. “Rogers. Mrs. Rogers. I-I admit I did not see that one coming,” he muttered. Darcy smirked at him and he cleared his throat. “While I’m glad to hear from you, this information isn’t exactly of paramount importance. I’m flattered,” he continued with his bland voice, “but I have other concerns right now.”
Darcy glared at him. “Yeah, well, I’m sure it can wait five minutes. And I’ll send you an update on how Daisy’s doing.”
Coulson’s eyes tightened. “Very well.”
Darcy smirked triumphantly. “You won’t regret it.” Darcy turned her attention to her phone she held up. “You there, Saint Nick?”
A sigh could be heard through the speaker. “Yes, Lewis.” He paused. “I’m here.”
Another voice shouted in the background.
“So am I!”
Sam’s eyes widened. “Momma? What are you doing with Fury?”
“I’m still at my safe house, Samuel,” Darlene returned dryly before her voice turned more cheerful. “Nicholas had just stopped by before that whole mess went down. He coordinated things from here.”
Sam’s brows rose in surprise and his nose scrunched up. “Nicholas?” he repeated.
“Oh,” muttered Darcy with a smirk. “I’m so calling it. Anyway!” she said loudly. “On to business. The point of this is to introduce you all to our son, so, first, for those who aren’t here, this is Frigga Sarah Rogers.” Darcy gestured to Frigga, who waved at the screens from Sam’s arms.
Several of those on the screens waved back. Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons wore huge smiles and waved enthusiastically, all while making inane comments to Frigga like how adorable she was and that they couldn’t wait to meet her in person.
“And now,” said Darcy, “since everyone is here…”
Steve picked up her sentence, “We can finally introduce you to the final member of our family.”
“For now,” someone muttered.
Darcy rolled her eyes and Steve grinned briefly before stamping it down.
“The deal was that Darcy would pick his first name, and I would choose his middle name,” he informed. “We could only overturn the other’s decision if we absolutely hated the name.”
With a serene smile, Darcy looked around at her friends before focusing on the right side of the TV. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet our son,” she paused as she held the baby in her arms, eyes glinting with mirth, “Coulson.”
Several gasps sounded along with a couple cheers.
“Congrats Phil,” Fury praised over the phone. Tony rolled his eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Pepper clapped and beamed.
Darcy smiled. “We mostly just call him Coul though,” she said with a gentle smile. “I’m saving the full name for when he really starts to get in trouble.”
Phil’s lips pressed tightly together as he blinked his suddenly wet eyes. His chin quivered and he lifted his arm up to hide his face in his elbow. He spun around, his back to the camera.
Natasha snorted and she and Clint shared a smirk.
Steve’s eyebrows lowered. “Phil?” he asked in concern.
Darcy’s mouth gaped. “Ipod Thief...are you crying?”
“No!” Phil paused. “Maybe...Yes,” he admitted. He turned back around and, indeed, a tear had escaped one eye and he quickly wiped it away. Softly, he asked, “You named your son after me?” Then his face brightened in wonder and his voice became more confident as he stated, “You named your son after me.”
Darcy beamed at him. “Yes, I did. Phil, you did so much for me,” she told him. “I have a lot of people who believe in me now, but you were the first. You saw me,” Darcy told him with wide, honest eyes. “You didn’t just write me off. You encouraged me to be better, taught me, covered for me when my shenanigans went a little too far, and supported me when I doubted myself. You were my mentor. Yeah, I was pissed when I found out you weren’t dead and didn’t tell me, but I’ve long forgiven you for that.” Her voice softened. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you giving me a chance.”
Phil gave her a watery smile.
“So,” she continued, “when I held my son for the first time, it just came to me, and I knew it fit perfectly.”
Steve wrapped his arm around Darcy’s waist. “And I didn’t argue with her,” he said with a smile. “Why would I? You’ve dedicated your life to protecting people, but you’ve never let the job corrupt you. Even after everything, you’re still a good man.”
Phil blinked and fought a losing battle against the smile spreading over his face. “You named your son after me,” he whispered a bit giddily. His grin spread wider, a low chuckle leaving him in delight. “You named your son after me!” he exclaimed with bright eyes. He turned to Agent May standing next to him and tugged her arm like a child to get attention. “May, May! Steve and Darcy named their son after me!” he crowed.
May looked at him impassively with a slightly downturned mouth. “I heard Phil,” she replied.
“No. May. You don’t understand,” he said, eyes wide with wonder. “Captain America and The Darcy Lewis named their firstborn son after me!” Phil’s face went blank. “All of my life choices have just been validated,” he declared. His face lit up with a manic grin.
Phil actually bounced on his toes, he was so happy. Darcy outright laughed at him and he looked over at her to fix his gaze on baby Coulson in her arms.
“Oh, and he’s so cute!” he cooed. “I’m Uncle Phil, right?” he demanded.
Darcy raised an amused brow. “You already are.”
Phil nodded like he expected nothing less. “This is great. Where are the Koenigs?” he asked, turning his head to look around the room. “I need to rub this in their faces.”
May rolled her eyes and glared at Darcy. “I hope you’re happy now. He is going to be absolutely insufferable!” she growled.
Darcy shrugged. “Sorry, not sorry. Did I mention I already bought him a little suit and tie with mandatory MIB glasses?”
May narrowed her eyes. “I want pictures,” she intoned.
“When do I get to come visit my namesake?” Phil suddenly asked, tuning back into the conversation. His grin was a mile wide at the fact that he even had a namesake.
“Whenever you have the time,” Steve answered. “We’ll be here for a week or so, but then we’ll be heading back to New York. Although, where in New York is a bit of a question,” he finished uncertainly, turning his gaze to the screen showing the five members at the facility.
Pepper rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she insisted. “You are coming either to the facility or the tower. We have a lot to discuss and I want to meet my pseudo-grandkids.” Pepper immediately gasped after she said that and grimaced. “I’m too young to have grandkids!” she blurted. Her face crumpled.
Natasha leaned forward. “Pepper, listen to me,” she crooned. “Baby clothes. Think of the baby clothes. You,” she said clearly, “get to go shopping for baby clothes.”
Pepper blinked at her and then her eyes drifted upwards. A smile slowly spread on her face. “I get to go shopping for baby clothes,” she intoned serenely. She clasped her hands together with a bright grin. “I get to go shopping for adorable baby clothes!” She nodded to herself. “Very well, I can deal with being a sort of grandmother, but I’m not sure if I feel comfortable with them actually calling me grandma just yet. I mean, come on, do I look like a grandmother?”
Darcy grinned. “You’d be the hottest grandma on the planet! But if you don’t want that, Frigga will call you whatever you want her to, and Coul’s too young to speak just yet.”
“Speaking of which,” Sam intervened, leg jumping impatiently. “What’d you choose for his middle name?” he asked Steve with hopeful eyes.
Steve looked from Sam to Bucky to Clint, all gazing at him with big, hopeful eyes. Steve blinked once. “I didn’t name him after any of you,” he blurted out quickly.
Their faces drooped into pouts as one, eyes wide in disappointment.
Clint bowed his head. “I know that, next to Bucky and Sam, I shouldn’t be disappointed,” he said, “but I am.”
Wanda patted his arm consolingly.
Steve’s lips twitched into a small smile as he shook his head and turned to stare hard into the camera connecting him to the Avenger’s Facility. “I did choose to name him after someone though, like Darcy did. A friend,” he added softly.
Steve could see those at the facility frown in confusion, though Tony’s frown was more out of anger as a glint of understanding shone in his eyes. Steve blocked out the others around him and spoke to Tony. “That’s why I didn’t want to wait until we got back to New York to tell you. I thought you deserved to know just the same as everyone else.”
Tony’s lip curled and he looked away. “I see,” he said. “Let me guess. Dear old dad,” he scoffed and picked up a nearby screwdriver and started turning it over in his hands. “Coulson Howard Rogers. I suppose it’s not too horrible,” he commented, looking away from the screen.
Steve pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side. “Funnily enough, I did think about naming him after Howard...for about ten seconds, and then I discarded the idea and never considered it again.” Steve sighed heavily. “Look, Tony, the Howard I knew was different from the one you grew up with. Honestly, I don’t think I could have stayed friends with him if I had lived to see the man he had become.”
Tony’s eyes snapped up to meet Steve’s, filled with both doubt and hope.
Steve shook his head. “Funny thing is, you’re a lot like Howard.” Tony looked away again, disgust on his face. “I know you hear that a lot and you hate it,” Steve continued. “What most people fail to realize is that you are also very different from Howard.”
Tony looked at Steve out of the corner of his eye.
“I wasn’t blind to his faults, even then,” Steve told him. “I could see how Howard was generous with those he cared about, but completely uncaring of people in general. I could see how he could love someone, but only on his terms and when it suited him. I could see how he reacted to failure and turned bitter over it; colder, and how he would lash out at others. That’s how you’re different from him Tony.” Steve shrugged helplessly. “So I named my son after you.”
The screwdriver fell from Tony’s hands as he stared at Steve in shock.
Steve ignored the gasps and discontented mumbling from the other Avengers.
“My son’s full name,” he said clearly, “is Coulson. Anthony. Rogers.”
He waited with baited breath for Tony to speak, but instead, he watched as Tony’s face paled, expression turning to one of horror.
“No,” Tony gasped. “No. Wha...W-Why...Why would you do that?”
Darcy frowned. “Sorry, weren’t you always telling me and Steve - separately of course,” she said, glancing at her husband, “that we should name our son after you?”
“I didn’t think you’d actually do it!” Tony shouted. “Why-” he cut himself off and turned from the holograms of his former team to pace the lab, breath shaky and shallow.
“Well,” Phil Coulson interrupted awkwardly. “I believe we’ve seen enough. I’m going to turn this off now. I’ll be in touch,” he added before quickly escaping the now awkward video chat.
Darcy sighed. “Tony, what’s wrong?” she implored.
Tony choked off a watery laugh. Pepper took a half step towards him, but held herself back and bit her lower lip. She knew this talk had to happen.
“What’s not wrong?” Tony mocked. “I willing leashed myself to a psycho that planned on brainwashing and torturing kids; who had already hunted one of my best friends for a decade, which I knew about!” he added. “I tried to make you guys do the same and then helped to lock you up in an underwater prison, never again to see the light of day. I go crazy and try to kill a person for killing my parents, even though I knew he wasn’t really responsible, but just didn’t care. And I,” Tony tilted his head to the ceiling. He finished in a whisper. “I nearly killed you.” He shook his head. His voice was no longer a whisper, but it was far worse because it sounded dead. “I would have done it,” he admitted. “You were holding back, but I wasn’t. If you hadn’t fought so hard, if you hadn’t blocked me, if I’d had the open shot...I would have killed you.”
Steve looked down and swallowed.
Tony blinked and turned his body to face Steve again, though he kept his gaze down as well. “You named your son after me, and I nearly killed you,” he stated.
Darcy bit her lip and looked from Steve to Tony, as did everyone else.
Steve inhaled and took Coul from Darcy’s arms, holding him facing the camera, one hand gently pressed against his stomach to hold Coul to his chest and the other beneath the baby’s diaper-clad butt.
“I know,” Steve said eventually. “What happened…” Steve trailed off. “I think we need to talk about that sometime later and just...get it all out.”
He rubbed Coul’s stomach and the baby looked up at him, hand in mouth, giving him a slobbery smile. Steve smiled. “Coul was born almost five months after Ultron, and in that time I realized something. You got almost all of the blame for creating him, when really, it was my fault, too. It was everyone’s fault because we’re a team, and it doesn’t matter that Ultron was your secret project.”
Steve shook his head and spoke in a tone that was nothing but sincere. “You shouldn’t have felt the need to keep it a secret. You should have been able to trust us enough to tell us. We should have been able to see how much you were affected by everything, and confronted you about it instead of letting you hide it away to fester. That’s on us, and since I was the team leader, it’s especially on me. What you did, you did to try to protect everyone.”
Tony’s brows knit together, eyes turned down in thought, shoulders slightly curled in.
Clint and Natasha looked away from everyone, feeling the truth of Steve’s words. Rhodey, too, rubbed the back of his neck in shame. He was Tony’s best friend. He should have known what he was trying to do. After all, Ultron wasn’t sudden. Tony had been trying to build him for months. They were all just as much to blame for not stopping Ultron from becoming a reality.
“Tony,” Steve huffed with a laugh, and Tony looked up at him in confusion. “You never stop trying to do what’s right. I of all people can understand that. Yeah, we fought over the Accords, but you believed it was the right thing to do and I can’t be mad at you for that. You didn’t know what the Accords really meant, but that doesn’t change the fact that everything you’ve done the past few years has been to make the world a better place, no matter the obstacles. There are so many times when you could have died. Anyone else in your shoes would have. Afghanistan, the palladium poisoning, the wormhole, everything!” Steve listed. “But you got through it. The reason I named my son after you is because I wanted you - want you - to be his role model.”
Steve bounced Coulson a bit. “I know some people wouldn’t consider you as a good role model, but you are because even though you make mistakes,” Steve said evenly, “you never make the same mistake twice.”
Steve glanced down at the smiling baby and when he looked back up, his face was solemn and his voice low as he spoke slowly. “My son is going to have a lot of pressure on him growing up just because of the fact that he’s my son.”
At that, Tony’s eyes flicked down to the brunette baby, the lines around his eyes softening.
“It’s the same pressure put on you for being Howard’s son,” Steve continued. “I want him to know it’s okay to be human and mess up from time to time, just so long as he learns something from it.” Steve grinned ruefully. “Lord knows I won’t be able to teach him that. I need a lesson pounded into my head a few times for it to stick.”
Tony’s lips twitched up into a small smile.
Steve grinned wider. “Coul has a lot of great role models, but you’ll be the one to teach him to never give up fighting to make things right. That might be my title, but really, I think it belongs to you. You’re the one who never gives up. You always find a way Tony, and that’s something worth passing on.”
Darcy and Pepper both smiled proudly at their men. The others, both in Wakanda and New York, watched on with new understanding on all of their faces.
Tony’s jaw clenched and unclenched as he slowly nodded his head up and down. In a barely heard murmur, he said, “Kay.” He nodded his head sharply once more. “Okay,” he repeated in a stronger voice. He inhaled deeply and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling with suspiciously wet eyes. “Right. Yeah. Okay,” he said in quick succession. Tony clapped his hands together once. Then he abruptly turned and left the room.
Darcy and Steve blinked in shock and looked at each other before turning back to the screen.
“Pepper?” Darcy asked.
Pepper’s head swiveled from Darcy to the door and back. “Uh, one moment. I’ll go check on him,” she assured as she walked to the door. Before she made it, Tony walked back in with his focus on the tablet he carried. “Tony?” she asked with a perplexed expression.
Tony spoke without looking up. “Pepper, call the renovators,” he instructed in a no-nonsense tone. “Steve’s quarters are way too small to accommodate Darcy and the kids. In fact, I think we just need to add a whole new wing. Oh! And we can make it so Barton’s family can live there too. Really, I should have done that a year ago. Make room for Lang’s kid, too. Actually, let’s just make it a whole family wing with a play area in the center. It can be several stories with extra family size apartments so that if anyone else decides to reproduce, there’s space available.”
During this whole speech, the heroes kept exchanging glances with one another, silently asking if Tony was serious about this while he continued on making plans.
“We can have the most advanced Stark tech installed in everything, from the floors to the ceilings with automated doors and windows that can be programmed to not let the kiddies into dangerous areas...I need to update the security protocols. Friday, I hope you’re making notes.”
“Got it, Boss,” came the Irish lilt.
“We need to go shopping, too,” Tony said as he rubbed his chin, ignoring the sputtering from Pepper as well as Steve, Darcy, Clint, and Scott. It was, after all, their families Tony was making all these plans for. “Playsets, jungle gyms, treehouse, sports field, the whole nine yards. Friday, make sure it’s all made of the safest materials available. Can’t have the kids get hurt. Oh, and set aside an area meant for babies two and under.”
Tony suddenly gasped, his eyes wide.
“What?” Pepper asked, the others echoing her.
Tony clutched his head in panic. “There are going to be babies here! Friday! Call the very best baby-proofing company in the world.”
Rhodey coughed. “What? Tony, you can’t be serious.”
Tony whirled around to glare at Rhodey. “Of course I am!” He waved his arms around. “Do you know how much dangerous shit we have lying around here? I have to completely cut-off the labs, Avengers conference rooms and gyms, and baby-proof the kitchens, living areas, the bathrooms-”
“The bathrooms?” interrupted Rhodey again. “Tony,” he said with a stern look, “I can understand the cabinets under the sinks, but you are not allowed to baby-proof the toilets.”
Tony pointed at him accusingly. “Toilets are dangerous!” he affirmed. “The kid could lean over, fall in, and drown.”
“Tony. No.”
Tony jutted out his chin and said in a quiet, but firm voice, “I’m baby-proofing the toilets.”
Rhodey groaned.
“We need so much stuff,” Tony continued as he started to pace. “Clothes, cribs, changing tables, bouncy chairs, play areas, toys-”
“Tony!” Darcy yelled, getting his attention. “You don’t need to buy that stuff. We already have most of it. It’ll be fine.”
Tony waved her off. “I know I don’t need to, but I’m going to anyway. It’s the least I could do,” he added in an undertone.
Darcy huffed. “Tony.” She tilted her head and gave him doe eyes. “I don’t want you to do this to try to make up for anything. You don’t have anything to make up for. You made a mistake. I forgive you.”
Steve stepped up next to her. “We forgive you.”
“You don’t have to buy us stuff to say sorry,” Darcy said. “You don’t have to buy us stuff to get us to stay either. We’re family. We want to be around you. All we want is your company, as manic as it is at times.”
Tony pressed his lips tightly together. He finally muttered, “I know, but this isn’t that, Darcy. It’s not guilt or bribery. I just...I want to do this because I want you to have the very best. I want your kids to have the best. Please let me do this.”
Darcy’s expression softened as she gave him a gentle smile. “Okay.”
Tony’s eyes brightened and he beamed at her. “Great!” he exclaimed in his normally boisterous voice. “In that case, I’ll make sure the renovations are done within ten days. And don’t worry about buying the kids furniture or toys or anything. I can make all that in much better quality than anything you can find in the store.”
Darcy’s smile dropped from her face and Steve’s eyes went wide.
“Wait,” Steve asked. “You’re going to make things for our kids?” he asked as he passed his son off to Natasha blindly, knowing she had a hold of him.
Tony gave him a look that clearly stated, Duh. “Duh,” he said as he started walking away with his focus back on the tablet. “Friday, order me some more polyolefin. I’m gonna create the softest baby blankets in the universe that will always keep the mini-Darcys and mini-Steves warm.”
The parents smiled at the sweet gesture for a moment before the smiles immediately dropped from their faces.
“Oh, and start isolating protocols for safety requirements on cribs and whatnot. I’m thinking inconel* for the frames with retractable panels that could encase them completely in case of an attack with built in defensive lasers and repulsors.”
Darcy gasped in fear. “No!”
“Tony!” Steve shouted while waving his hands. “No. No! Thank you but no! That’s not necessary.”
“I know.” Tony grinned. “Your welcome. Now, if I power it all with an arc reactor I should be able to make the air filtration system last two full days,” he said more to himself as he nodded. “Don’t worry guys,” he said happily. “I’ll take care of everything!” Tony shouted as he ran from the room.
“Oh no,” whispered Steve with wide eyes.
Darcy held her hands up to her cheeks. “Oh Thor! Helpful Tony is sometimes more dangerous than un helpful Tony. Rhodey!” she shouted. “You have to stop him!”
Rhodey looked at her with a gaping mouth in his confusion over Tony’s enthusiastic response of making weaponized baby and toddler equipment. “I’ll try,” he said, limping after the billionaire. “But, you know how he can be.”
“Please,” Darcy begged in a frantic hiss. “Just make sure he doesn’t create an Iron Baby suit.”
“I’m afraid, Mrs. Rogers,” interrupted Friday. “That boss has already started drawing up designs.”
Pepper sighed and blandly looked at Darcy and Steve. “Don’t worry. I can still cash in some of Tony’s I.O.U’s. It’ll be fine.”
Darcy whimpered.
Steve moved in front of her and rubbed her shoulders. “Hey, breathe. If it comes to it, can’t you just pull out your blackmail files?”
Darcy blinked and her breathing immediately even out. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Tony will do anything to keep the video of him sprinting to the bathroom when he “accidentally” ate laxatives and nearly shit his pants from going on youtube.”
Steve smiled broadly and puffed out his chest. “I knew that would come in handy one day.”
Sam gaped at him. “Wait a minute. That was you?! ”
Darcy snorted and pulled Coul into her arms. Steve smirked at Sam and turned away whistling innocently.