Chapter Text
After that hard-hitting afternoon, Josh didn’t understand why he couldn’t focus on anything. He’d forgotten to complete homework that night, turned up late to school the next day, and most importantly, he couldn’t forget Tyler. Ever since he had walked into that psychology class, the fragile boy hadn’t left his mind. He still made small talk with his peers in other classes, but his schoolwork was left blank - he didn’t have the motivation for it. A soft sigh was released from him when he checked his phone for the upteenth time, seeing that the many messages he’d sent Tyler weren’t read yet.
“Hey, dude, are you doing okay? Class is over!” A new friend of his, Brendon, quickly snapped him back to reality.
“Yeah yeah, calm your forehead, Beebo, I was checking something.” Josh gathered his empty sheets quickly, stuffing them haphazardly into his binder then tucking it into his bookbag. They had lockers, Josh just preferred to use a bag.
Brendon wiggled his eyebrows, leaning over Josh to try and sneak a peek at his phone. Josh shoved him away with a snort, shutting his phone off.
“We’ve gotta go break into my locker, too.”
“Seriously, Urie? Did you forget your code again? At this rate you’ll even be forgetting your middle name!” Josh retorted, leading the way out of the music classroom. It wasn’t long before they reached Brendon’s locker.
“Nice going, Dun. Real great,” Brendon had responded when Josh had accidentally hit his friend’s face with the door of his own locker.
“Oh, shut it, Boyd .” Josh said as he sorted through the cramped space, attempting to ignore the other boy forcing his locker open.
“No, this is a serious matter, do you seriously want to be held responsible for damaging my perfect features? A face like this, chiselled from the very bones of gods , and you slam a metal sheet into it with no care at all? How will I ever make it onto the record charts with a broken nose, Josh? They won’t-”
Brendon’s ramble stopped short, his words dying away into an involuntary squeak. Josh peered from around his locker, his eyes narrowed, but he had to suppress laughter when he saw the direction of Brendon’s gaze.
Brendon’s eyes were focused on a slim brunette with petite features, who Josh is pretty sure is in his music class with him, but doesn’t know the name of. Ray? Rick? Something like that. Josh could see a red flush creeping up Brendon’s neck, his eyes wide and his pupils blown slightly.
“Dude? You good?” Josh asked, his eyebrows creeping into his colourful hairline. Brendon visibly jolted, his fingers startled into hastily fumbling with the code on his locker once more. Josh swallowed a snicker and smirked at Brendon, leaning his weight on one leg. “Something caught your attention, Boyd?”
Brendon flushed, the faint pink turning into a pale crimson. “Shut up,” he muttered, succeeding in his task of breaking into his own locker, wrenching it open with a dramatic huff.
“Do you even know that kid?” Josh asked, leaning further to catch a fleeting glimpse of brown hair hugged by a hippie-themed headband. Josh looked back at Brendon at the right time to see his eyes wandering down to the ridiculous tight brown pants the mystery boy had on. Josh snorted and Brendon’s gaze snapped up instantly, the flush spreading to his cheeks. Josh almost felt bad for his friend. Almost. Josh almost forgot about Tyler for the first time that day.
Almost.
Meanwhile, all I could see was white. It was everywhere, there was almost no escaping it, until it changed, dripped a harsh red, almost the colour of blood. It seeped through the roof, flowed through the walls, pooled underneath me, until it covered everything. I had the uncanny feeling that I was being watched. I squeezed my eyes shut, confusion and anxiety racking my brain.
why would anyone watch you, tyler? nobody cares.
No. No, no, no . It was the voice from my nightmares, the voice of nightmare Josh. How’d it get further inside my head? Why is it there? What does it want from me?
yes, oh yes. i am your worst nightmare, tyler. how does that make you feel?
I curled up into a ball, my hands tangled throughout my hair as I tried to suppress the voice. Goddamn it, why did I skip school today? Josh .
“Leave me alone!”
is that the best you can do? not very impressive. you’ll have to do more than that to get rid of me. not that you can do much of anything, of course.
I bit my lip with force. Goddammit Tyler, think! A drop of blood emitted from the small wound, and slowly slid down my chin.
there we go, that didn’t take long. just like you in bed
Blood. I’d found it. He wanted blood. Forcing my eyes open, my bedroom stood before me, and I raced into the bathroom. Throwing open cupboards, I took out a razor blade from the small box they resided in and quickly stripped of my clothes, turning on the shower, then stepping under the flow of water.
hurry up. you don’t have all morning, unless you like letting people down. idiot.
My hand shook as I brought the blade to my wrist. I inhaled sharply as I pressed the blade to my skin, splitting my flesh under the blade, watching the blood begin to wash off my arm and down the drain. Slash, slash, slash. I continued until exactly twenty-one red lines spanned perpendicular to my wrist along my lower arm. what a stupid place to do it, now they’ll all know about it, keep it hidden, you’re an idiot . I stood breathing heavily for what could’ve been a few seconds to several hours, until I realised the voice was gone.
It was quiet. There was finally silence.
I stepped out of the shower, drying myself off automatically while my mind was miles away, images of blood streaming down my arm, dripping and dispersing into wisps of crimson in the shower water flashing endlessly into my head. My vision spun, and blood was still dripping from my arm onto the cold tiles beneath my feet. I gripped the edges of the sink, watching my own blood flow slowly into the basin, creeping down the drain and out of sight. I gazed up and into the mirror, where my foggy reflection gave me the name for whatever I had just experienced.
blurryface.