Chapter Text
step one: learn straight off the bat that
worry is your song to sing and no one elses.
the words are not beautiful but
you say them anyway. you sing a song with
bits of gut and chunks of bone stirred in.
step two: learn a little later that
no one is listening.
step three: watch him wash blood
off his hands and pass the time by
musing over the sensation. theres not
a teaspoon of blood in your body.
realise the fragility of a body with bones.
step four: want to say “this is a suicide mission”
but you have an eternal faith set deep within him
and you dont think you could ever use words to
wrong him.
step five: when he wants to go on a suicide mission
go with him.
step six: imagine scenarios in which
you can walk through the bedroom door
and be eye to eye with him.
step seven: imagine scenarios in which
you make him bleed. your data is fraying
at the edges and there are holes in
your knowledge.
step eight: yes yes yes no
yes yes yes no
yes yes no
no yes
no no yes
no no
yes.
step nine: learn that
even for both your efforts
things dont always go as planned.
in times like these,
you learn to improvise.
step eleven: creation
has a voice like wind chimes
and if you had skin youd feel
the warmth of summer
embracing you.
you reply with worry and
creation proposes a compromise.
you dont even have time to agree
before youre waking up.
step twelve: wake up and
barely come to youre barely awake
but he is here and so are you
so you can disregard that.
step thirteen: the lights are
too bright and you think that
maybe someone has put the sun
in your hospital room. sounds seem
to echo off the walls and your voice
is so, so hoarse, its buried so deep that
you cant find it. mouth his name and
step fourteen: pull him closer.
you’re home.