Chapter Text
Gabriel heard Castiel’s prayer and arrived at the Men of Letter’s Bunker with a snap of his fingers. He found Sam and Dean easily enough. They were at the end of a hallway. Dean held Sam in his arms while Sam seemed to be having a full hallucination. It was the curse and Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment. He knew he didn’t have a choice. He walked past Castiel and knelt down next to Sam and Dean. He took Sam in his arms and rocked him gently. Gabriel kept his voice soft when he said, “It’s okay, Sammy. Nothing is going to hurt you.”
Sam blinked blurrily at him a couple times and stammered, “I… He’s here. It’s cold. I… Dad… You’re not my dad… My dad died for Dean… I… You killed Dean… Many times… He… The cold man killed you… Can’t say his name…”
Gabriel frowned slightly and glanced at Dean. He looked back down at Sammy and kept his voice soft. “I know, Sammy. I know. I want you to trust me, okay? I won’t hurt you. I promise. I need you to agree to something. I need you to give me permission to let me possess you. It will only be for a moment.”
Sam shook his head and said a quiet, “Okay.”
Gabriel smiled slightly, “You need to say yes, Sammy.”
Sam scrunched up his brow and said slowly, “Yes.”
Light filled the hallway as Gabriel took over Sam’s body. He always hated taking a new vessel. It was the memories that flooded his grace that he couldn’t stand. All of Sam’s life flashed before his eyes. All of Sam’s fears. All of his wants. Everything. He could feel it as if it was himself the first time Sam had his first kiss and first love. He could feel Sam’s loss as those around him died. He could feel exactly what Sam felt for him. His suspicions where correct. Sam had a little crush on him. It didn’t feel like the love Sam had for Jessica, but it was there. Small but there.
Then Gabriel saw Sam’s Hell. He saw what his brother did to Sam. He saw and felt everything. It made Gabriel’s grace want to curl into itself because this was not the Lucifer he once loved. This wasn’t the Lucifer that taught him how to fly. This wasn’t the big brother he admired. No, this reminded him of his Aunt Amara in a snit over one of his father’s creations.
Gabriel saw how little value Sam placed on his own life. He felt Sam’s growing sense of worthlessness. How Sam never felt like he fit in the world. He felt Sam’s fear when he realized Lucifer was free. He felt Sam’s sorrow when he thought Dean died. He saw what happened between Sam and the British Men of Letters. Sam wanted them to kill him. The thought of that made Gabriel’s grace cry out.
Things got better from there. Sam’s memories changed and were happy. Gabriel could see the darkness surrounding Sam’s mind from the curse, but it seemed Castiel and himself were the light in the dark place. Gabriel already knew of Sam’s struggles with school and fitting in with other children. It wasn’t that Gabriel wanted Sam to be isolated. Rather, it was a side effect of hallucinations. After seeing all of Sam’s memories, Gabriel was convinced children could be just as cruel as Lucifer. The scars on Sam’s soul looked the same. Gabriel wished he could heal those scars with is grace but there were somethings, his grace couldn’t do.
Slowly, Gabriel opened his eyes. He saw the world through Sam’s eyes. He saw his old vessel sit up slowly and rub his head. Gabriel said carefully,”הבל, אני צריך שתיתן לי להחזיק אותך שוב.” Translated into English, Gabriel asked Abel to let him possess him once more.
Abel looked up at Gabriel with the same golden-brown eyes, he saw in the mirror for millennias. The man smiled at him and said in a thick Middle Eastern accent, “אבל אני חייב להבטיח לי משהו קודם.” Abel asked Gabriel for a promise before being possessed again.
Dean grunted, “What are you saying?”
Gabriel was about to answer when Abel did. The English were unpracticed but clear, “I am sorry. My name is Abel. You are the man that killed my brother.”
Dean glared and Gabriel had to resist the urge to laugh, “I never killed anyone.”
Gabriel did laugh at that. It felt different hearing his laugh coming from Sam’s chest. He calmed his laughter and said slowly, “You have killed many, Dean. You did kill Cain. After my father brought me back, I gave him a proper funeral for Abel.”
Dean shrugged and muttered at Abel, “Sorry man, but you need to let my dad possess you so he can get out of my little brother.”
Abel tilted his head to the side and smiled, “I will. I have one request.”
Gabriel licked his lips and healed the chapping. He made a mental note to get on Sam about using lip balm later. He spoke calmly, “I have never denied you, Abel. We are a team.”
Abel rolled his eyes and perked up, “I don’t want you to run away.”
Gabriel squinted his eyes at his former vessel and asked, “Come again.”
Abel sighed, “I know angels. I know you. You… How to do you say… You run away when your work is done. I had children. I loved my children. Cain and I loved the same woman, but that is another story. I miss my children and now the world is full of my decedents. Sam and Dean are my decedents. I helped raise them. I don’t want to run away from them. Your work is not done.”
Gabriel sighed, “Of course, Abel. I will stay for as long as my presence does not annoy them.”
Abel smiled, כן, אני נותן לך את עצמי.”
Gabriel felt his grace leave Sam and enter Abel once more in a ray of light. He felt at home as he possessed Abel once more. Gabriel caught Sam in his arms as Castiel caught Dean. Both of the boys shook and gurgled as the memories of their former lives came back. Gabriel didn’t know what they would think or say to him. All he could do was wait.
++
It was Dean that woke up first. He shook out of Castiel’s hold and declared, “No chick flicks.” His voice was lower than it was recently, it like it was before. Dean frowned at Gabriel and Sam. He asked out of concern, “Is he okay?”
Gabriel glanced up at Dean and nodded, “He will be.”
Dean groaned as he stood up and stretched, “The only upside to this whole thing is I got a younger body. I am going to start researching the Brits so I can kill them all slowly.”
Castiel chimed in helpfully, “Gabriel killed them. You don’t have to worry.”
Dean shook his head and asked, “Why did you turn Castiel into a cat?”
Gabriel smiled widely, “He reminds me of a cute kitten with his little head tilt.”
Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he decided to wander away to come to terms with his conflicting thoughts. He felt torn and confused. He felt like he had two different lives jammed into his head. One where he was Dean Winchester and One where he was Dean Singer. Dean Winchester was a boy with a drunk father and a dead mom. That Dean raised his little brother while homeless and looked up to his father like he was a god. Dean Singer was an orphan that was adopted by a loving father. He never had to worry about going hungry or having a home. He had a cat and a good life. Really, Dean much preferred Dean Singer’s life over Dean Winchester’s life. Dean wondered if Sammy felt the same. He didn’t know and Dean needed time to wrap his mind around the idea of the most annoying archangel being his dad.
++
A few hours later they sat down to dinner at a local diner. Sam just wanted something to connect him to Sam Winchester. It seemed normal enough. Sam didn’t know how to address his feelings towards his dad or if they should even be addressed. It seemed that with the curse broken, he didn’t feel that nagging in his mind where Lucifer danced around. Sam thought his head felt clearer. Sam glanced up from his menu when Dean slammed it down and declared, “I hate this.”
The waitress came over before Dean could grumble more and asked, “Do you know what you would like to order?”
Dean sighed and said grumpily, “A veggie burger with extra onions and fries.” Sam smiled slightly at Dean’s order. It seemed that Gabriel did manage to change Dean. Sam just wasn’t sure if Dean liked the change or not. He was certain though that Dean’s organs would appreciate Dean’s reluctance to eat meat.
++
Sam laid on the bed in his old room and stared at the empty walls. He crossed his fingers over his chest and tried to rest, but he couldn’t. He heard a knock on the door and watched as Gabriel hesitantly entered. Sam sat up a little on the bed as Gabriel sat down next to him and sat a worn Riot on his lap. Gabriel’s voice was soft, “I saw inside your head, Sam. I know you are probably confused. Do you want to talk about it?”
Sam shrugged and grabbed hold of the stuffed toy. He didn’t care that he was way too old for it. He smiled slightly as he played with the ear, “I am confused. I feel like I have so much inside my mind. It’s like a bad B movie. I cared about you and I wanted to have sex with you… Sorry, I didn’t mean to be that blunt.”
Gabriel leaned back against the pillows and said calmly, “You’re fine, Samshine.”
Sam leaned up against Gabriel and rested his head on the angel’s shoulder. “Thanks, Dad. It’s just after that you became my dad and I kept having feelings as I got older about lusting after my dad and I didn’t know where that came from. I think… I think it came from my life before when I was Sam Winchester and I don’t know if those feelings are wrong or not. Are they wrong?”
Gabriel shrugged and said casually, “Abel says he married his sister. I think that is his way of green lighting incest. Anyways, Sam, it is okay to be confused. I am not going to force you to do anything or demand any more a relationship with you than father and son. I raised you and I love you. I haven’t loved anything as much as I love you in a very long time. We have time, Sam.”
Sam stared at a spot on the ceiling that only he could see, “But life is short.”
Gabriel chuckled, “We have forever, Sammy. I promise.”