Chapter Text
Yuuri didn’t know how to describe how he was feeling.
He was finally here, at the Grand Prix finals.
His chest wouldn’t stop pounding in his chest, and he wasn’t sure if it was out of nervousness or excitement.
He was really here. In less than twenty-four hours he was going to be skating on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov. THE Victor Nikiforov.
“It is called breathing,” a voice mumbled in French before a hand landed heavily on his lower back. He jumped in surprise before glancing to his side where Chris stood.
The Swiss skater didn’t seem at all phased by the atmosphere that came with skating at the Finals, something that shouldn’t be that surprising to him. Chris was the second-best skater in the world for a reason.
“Christophe,” Josef scolded Chris from his other side - he was a little confused as how he ended up in the middle of his coach and rink mate, “Leave Yuuri alone.”
“I’m fine,” he ensured Josef with a small smile, “I’m just…” he trailed off while trying to figure out what he was feeling.
“Excited? Nervous?” Chris guessed while draping an arm over his shoulders. He let out a thoughtful hum while continuing to figure out what he was feeling.
“Joyful,” he mumbled quietly.
“Joyful?” Chris questioned before humming.
“I suppose there is something joyful about making it to the finals,” Chris conceded.
“Boys, warm ups are about to begin,” Josef reminded them, causing them both to hum and nod their head. Chris’s arm slipped off his shoulders, but not before gently giving his shoulder a soft squeeze.
Chris had still been acting off since that strangely passionate night.
He had been around more, been more verbal with his endearments in public and had ever been more touchy than normal - something that was rather hard to believe.
He had lost count of the number of times he had ended up sitting on Chris’s lap during the last two weeks for no other reason than Chris wanting him to sit there.
Yuuri rolled his shoulders as they headed for the rink.
Right now, he didn’t have time to figure Chris out. He needed to focus on skating his heart during the next few days.
He still couldn’t believe it.
He had just skated on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov.
No only had he skated on the same ice as Victor Nikiforov, but he also was able to perform a perfect quad flip in front of him.
Josef had been hard on him lately, forcing him to put a lot of time and effort into his newly found quad flip and he could land it, most of the time.
“What’s with that look, mon ange? Are you drooling?”
He gasped while wiping at his mouth, causing Chris to snicker at him.
“Christophe,” he pouted, causing Chris’ snicker to turn into a deep laugh.
“You had that star struck look on your face,” Chris teased while skating over to him, “You used to look at me with that look.”
“And then I moved in with you,” he replied, earning a pout in response.
“That hurts, Yuuri,” Chris mumbled while laying a hand on his chest.
“Excuse me,” a new voice called out from behind him. He let out a hum while turning around, only to freeze.
Victor Nikiforov was standing right there. In front of him.
“You’re Yuri Katsuki, right?” Victor questioned while smiling at him brightly.
He stood there a moment before jolting when someone draped over his back.
“It’s pronounced Yuu-ri,” Chris’ voice said in his ear.
“Yuu-ri,” Victor repeated, while flashing him a charming smile, “What a beautiful name.”
Yuuri opened his mouth to respond, only to pause as he felt Chris’ arms wrap around his waist.
What was Chris doing?
He was finally talking to his childhood idol and Chris was hanging off him like some overjealous boyfriend.
But why? It wasn’t like Chris and him were dating?
“Thank you,” he replied while sending Victor a smile.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Christophe?” Victor questioned while glancing between Chris and him.
“Josef coaches us both,” he explained simply, only to be cut off by Chris.
“We are also roommates,” Chris stated.
What did that have to do with anything?
“And rink mates,” he said while untangling the arm from around his waist and stepping away from Chris.
“Rink mates?” Victor questioned while glancing between them before finally settling his piercing blue gaze on him.
He could melt under Victor Nikiforov’s gaze, could drown in the blueness of his eyes.
“Yeah,” he confirmed while nodding his head.
“VICTOR.”
A voice called out from a little way away, causing Victor to let out a little sigh.
“It seems I am being summoned. I look forward to competing against you both,” Victor replied while winking towards them before strutting - seriously, he strutted away like a supermodel on a catwalk.
He had spoken to Victor Nikiforov. Victor Nikiforov had not only spoken to him but also winked at him.
Victor Nikiforov had called his name beautiful.
Yuuri paused suddenly and turned to face Chris, noting straight away the frown on Chris’ face.
“What was that about?” he questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“What about?” Chris responded while turning away from him.
He didn’t understand Chris sometimes.
They weren’t together, but Chris had so easily draped himself over him while he was speaking with THE Victor Nikiforov.
Chris knew how much he idolised Victor, and yet, he still ruined his first ever conversation with Victor by draping over his back.
If he knew better, he would have called Chris’s actions protectiveness.
phichithamster
Today at 6:55pm
PHICHIT!!!
IT HAPPENED
I MET HIM
OMG
Huh? (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)
I actually met Victor Nikiforov!!!
Oh? （＾Ｏ＾）
And he knew who I was!
And said my name was beautiful
And I may have drowned in his eyes
So, when did this obsession start? (´・ω・｀)
Shut up. It isn’t an obsession
I just admire him
And the sky is purple (¬_¬)
… but it isn’t?
I mean, sometimes, during sunrise and sunset?
Sarcasm (¬_¬)
Ohhhhhhhh
Huh?
So, how did lover boy take it? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Who?
Lover boy? Christophe? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why?
Well, did he act funny? (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)
I mean, he was rather strange
He got all… I suppose you could call it defensive? Protective?
When I was speaking with Victor
Does he know about your ‘admiration’?
Of course. Chris and I both admire Victor
Chris named his cat after Victor
He did??? @(・●・)@
Yes! I’ve sent you hundreds of pictures of her
Wait, Victoria is Chris’ cat??? @(・●・)@
Yes
And Victoria is named after Victor??? (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)
Also, yes
Where are you staying? (๑･̑◡･̑๑)
Have you eaten? (๑･̑◡･̑๑)
Huh? I’m staying at the hotel where all the competitors are staying
Good. Meet me at the lobby in 5 min ٩(^‿^)۶
Wait? What?
You are here too!!!
I’M EVERYWHERE o(^_-)O
5 mins
Yes, yes
I’m coming
“Yuuri!”
At the sound of his name, he glanced to the side to see Phichit running at him.
He stood there froze in surprise, making it all too easy for the younger teen to bulldoze into him, knocking them both to the ground.
He lay there in confusion before joining in with Phichit’s soft giggles.
“It has been forever,” Phichit whined while continuing to lie on top of him.
“It’s been less than a month,” he chuckled while patting the younger male on top of the head. Phichit stuck his tongue out before getting off him, allowing him to get off the ground.
“Now, let’s go find somewhere to eat, I’m starving,” Phichit whined while locking their arms together and pulling him out of the lobby and onto the busy streets of Fukuoka, Japan. It felt weird being back in his own country.
It had taken him at least an hour after leading for Japanese to click back into place in his head. Who would have thought speaking a mixture of English and French would mess up his native tongue so much?
He sort of felt bad. Despite being back in Japan, he didn’t have time to visit his parents, or even his precious Vicchan.
He had to compete in the Grand Prix Finals and then prepare for the Japanese nationals.
Josef had it worst, if he was honest. He had the Grand Prix Finals, Swiss national and then Japanese nationals - all within a span of two weeks.
“So, Christophe was jealous of Victor Nikiforov?” Phichit asked while raising an eyebrow towards him.
“I don’t think he was jealous,” he denied while shaking his head.
“Because?” Phichit questioned while raising an eyebrow.
“Because Chris has made it clear he doesn’t want to date,” he stated.
“Date you or date altogether,” Phichit hummed thoughtfully.
“Me? Altogether? Both?” he mumbled out quietly while dropping his gaze to the ground.
“Hey now,” Phichit said while grabbing his hand, “How long have we known each other?”
“About a month,” he said hesitantly.
“And if I know in a month, that Christophe Giacometti is missing out, then how does he not realise that?” Phichit stated seriously.
He opened his mouth to respond, only to be shushed by the teenager.
“No. Listen here, Yuuri Katsuki, in a month, you have been nothing but kind, sweet and absolutely amazing. If Christophe Giacometti hasn’t realised that by now, he doesn’t deserve you,” Phichit said before bumping him with his shoulder, “Victor Nikiforov on the other hand, we should try and hook you two up.”
“Phichit!” he gasped as he felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
Phichit let out an echoing laugh before taking a few steps in front of him, finally showing interest in some of the restaurants around them.
“What do you recommend?” Phichit asked as they wandered further down the street.
“Um,” he mumbled softly, still trying to tame his embarrassment.
“Oh, oh! Sushi! No, ramen!” Phichit said while looking at him with large wide eyes. He stared at the younger male for a moment before arching an eyebrow.
“How about I pick,” he said while glance around them. After a moment, he spotted an okonomiyaki restaurant and pointed towards it. He didn’t even have to explain what it was before Phichit was pulling him towards it.
“Yuuri!” Chris called out while knocking on Yuuri’s hotel door.
It was dinner time and he wanted to take Yuuri out. They were in Japan for the first time together, he wanted to learn more about the culture that his adorable, little Yuuri grew up in.
“Yuuri?” he called out louder, knocking on the door a few more times.
It normally didn’t take Yuuri this long to hear the pounding on his door, even if he had headphones in. The Japanese skater had told him earlier when they separated ways after training that he didn’t have any plans for the evening. His family wasn’t able to come and his former ballet instructor wasn’t arriving till tomorrow morning.
“Yuuri,” he sighed while crossing his arms. He couldn’t already be asleep, could he? But even a sleeping person would have heard him knocking.
Pouting, Chris turned and headed towards Josef room, hoping that his coach had already returned from his dinner plans or hadn’t left yet.
He knocked on the door, and less than a few seconds later it opened.
“Christophe,” Josef greeted, waving him in.
“Yuuri isn’t answering his door,” he whined as he wandered into the room and made himself comfortable on the room’s couch.
“Yuuri went out for dinner,” Josef stated simply.
“What? With who?” he asked, not realising how demanding he sounded until Josef raised an eyebrow.
Yuuri didn’t have any friends here that he was aware of. He didn’t know any of the other skater well enough to go to dinner with them. Yuuri didn’t do well with crowds, so it was unlikely that he went out with a group of skaters or anything like that.
His mind momentarily thought of Victor, but he was doubtful that the Russian skater would have asked Yuuri to dinner. Victor had been given babysitting duties while Yakov went out for dinner from what he understood.
“Christophe, I love you like you are my own son, but you must realise something,” Josef sighed while walking over to join him on the couch, “You need to stop playing with Yuuri.”
He stared at his coach blankly for a moment. Playing? With Yuuri? When had he been playing with Yuuri?
They had simply been friends with benefits with no emotions attached. He had warned Yuuri that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at the start.
But now he thought he was ready. He wanted emotions, wanted attachment, wanted Yuuri.
He opened his mouth to respond, only for Josef to wave him off.
“Yuuri’s heart is very fragile. There is only so many times that one person can put their broken heart back together again, Christophe,” Josef said, a serious look on his face.
“What?” he questioned in confusion. Broken heart? What was Josef on about?
Josef stared at him for a moment before sighing deeply.
“Yuuri has had a crush on you for years, Christophe, and you kept pushing him away, kept breaking his heart. I think, Yuuri has finally accepted that you don’t want him,” Josef explained.
He sat there in shock. Yuuri liked him? But he had kept breaking Yuuri’s heart? No, that couldn’t be. He had laid everything out to Yuuri before they started being friends with benefits. There wasn’t meant to be any feelings back then, any emotions.
He wanted that now, he wanted Yuuri’s attention and affection now.
But Yuuri thought he didn’t want him?
Josef gently reached over and squeezed his shoulder, causing him to glance towards his coach.
“You need to talk to Yuuri. Explain your feelings, because if you don’t, Yuuri will keep pushing you away,” Josef said, before letting go of his shoulder and standing up.
“Anyway, Yakov and I are meeting up for dinner,” Josef explained while grabbing his jacket of the nearby chair, “Will you be okay?”
“Yes,” he ensured his coach, “Go enjoy your night out. Don’t have too much fun,” he said while sending Josef a wink. Josef chuckled and waved before leaving him alone in the hotel room.
Yuuri used to have a crush on him.
But what about now?
Yuuri came to a halt a couple of feet from his room, watching in confusion as Chris exited Josef’s room.
“What are you doing?” he questioned in confusion, startling the older skater who glanced towards him and sent him a charming smile.
“Yuuri,” Chris cooed while moving towards him, “Where did you go? I wanted to get dinner with you.”
“I went out,” he said simply while raising an eyebrow in confusion, “I can do that, right?” he questioned. There was no rule forbidding him from leaving the hotel and going out to dinner with a friend. Josef had been rather excited for him when he said he was going out with someone that wasn’t Chris.
“Of course you can, but I missed you. You should have invited me,” Chris said while reaching out to grab one of his hands. He pulled his hand away, eyeing Chris closely.
That was how it always started, a grab of his hand and then pulling him towards the bedroom.
With the short program tomorrow, he wasn’t going to let Chris play with him.
Chris stared at him in surprise, clearly startled by his resistance to holding hands, but the look was quickly replaced with a pout.
“Yuuri,” Chris whined.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to the ground. He scuffled the toe of his runners into the fancy, bright red carpet, “I’m going to, you know, head to bed. Need to be well rested before tomorrow,” he explained quickly while hurrying towards his room and shoving his key card into the door before Chris could say anything. For once, he was relieved by Chris’s insistence to get a single room each rather than a shared room.
He was meant to be getting his head into the ‘zone’ as Phichit kept calling it.
He needed to be at his best, and he couldn’t be at his best if he was battling with himself over whether or not Chris was interested in him.
“Goodnight Yuuri,” Chris called out, causing him to pause by the doorway to his room. He stood there a moment before turning around and giving Chris a soft smile.
“Goodnight,” he echoed. Chris stared at him for a moment before moving towards him, taking two steps with his long legs to stand right in front of him.
Chris gently grabbed his chin with one hand and quickly pulled him into a kiss before he could protest.
For once, it was a quick and innocent kiss, two words he wouldn’t use to describe Chris.
“Sleep well,” Chris mumbled softly while giving his cheek a soft stroke before pulling away and heading towards his own room.
He stood there a moment before shuffling into his room and shutting the door. Once the door was shut, he leant against it and slowly slide towards the ground.
He wasn’t sure what Chris was up to. Was he trying to put him off his game, or was there something else going on?
There was no chance Chris had suddenly fallen in love with him, which meant that Chris was up to something.
Whatever Chris was trying to do, he wasn’t going to let him win.
“What are you smiling at?”
Yuuri jolted in surprise at the sudden voice beside him. He glanced up from his phone in panic, only to freeze.
Victor Nikiforov was standing beside him, staring at him with his stunning blue eyes.
“My parents,” he stuttered out before dropping his gaze back to his phone as a blush overtook his cheeks, “my parents sent me a good luck message with a picture of my dog,” he said softly. The photo had Vicchan curled up on his bed back at home with his favourite squeaky toy in his mouth. It was adorable.
“You have a dog?” Victor asked, eyes brightening up as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I have a dog too! Her name is Makkachin and she is a poodle,” Victor said excitedly while showing him a number of pictures of his stunning poodle.
Yuuri couldn’t help but cradle his phone to his chest while staring at Victor’s phone. He was talking to his childhood idol, the very man he named his poodle after. The very man that caused him to beg for a poodle to begin with.
“What type of dog do you have?” Victor said after a couple of minutes of showing him a few dozen photos of Makkachin.
“I have a toy poodle,” he said weakly, earning an excited gasp from the world’s top skater.
“Really?” Victor said while grabbing Yuuri’s hand. He stood there frozen for moment, surprised by the sudden touch.
Victor Nikiforov was touching him, and his brain was malfunctioning because of it.
“Y-yeah,” he stuttered out while shyly pulling his phone away from his chest to show his idol the poodle named after him.
“They are so small,” Victor cooed at the photo, “What’s their name?”
He stared at Victor for a moment, cheeks ablaze and a little star struck with having his childhood idol, not only talking to him but also holding his hand.
“Vicchan,” he admitted after a moment, earning a bright smile from the Russian.
“Vick-chan?” Victor repeated, causing him to chuckle and shake his head.
“Vicchan,” he corrected, earning a raised eyebrow and shrug in response.
“He?” Victor questioned, only to smile when he got a nod in response, “He is adorable. I’m sure Makkachin would get along lovingly with Vick-chan.”
He smiled shyly and nodded his head, Vicchan got along with everyone, be it dog, human or animal. Vicchan just wanted to be loved, something he was more than happy to shower the poodle in.
“I bet they would be great friends,” he said, a soft smile finding its way onto his lips.
“Yuuri!” a voice called out in the distance, catching his attention. He glanced around and spotted Josef marching towards him with Minako a few steps behind him. He felt Victor let go of his hand, causing him to glance back at the Russian.
“Ah, I should go find my coach, good luck today,” Victor said, sending him a wink before strutting off without another word, leaving him to follow the Russian’s retreating form with adoring eyes.
Victor was as amazing in person as he came across on television.
“Yuuri!” Minako called out, barely giving him a second of warning before he found himself wrapped up in a tight hug.
After getting off his momentary shock, he returned the hug and clung to his former ballet teacher. She was the closest thing to home he had physically seen and felt since he left home.
“Look at you!” Minako chuckled softly, “You grew up on me, kiddo.”
“I made it to the finals, Minako-sensei. I actually did it,” he mumbled into Minako’s shoulder.
Fourth, he had gotten fourth.
After all his hard work, he had only gotten fourth.
He let out a small sigh as he turned away from the ice where they were medalling the top three skaters, including Chris and Victor.
If only he hadn’t let his nervous get the better of him.
If only he hadn’t touched down during his quad flip in his short program.
If only he hadn’t popped his first jump combination during his free skate.
Maybe he could have been on the ice too. With Chris and Victor.
He had only missed out on third by mere eight points. Eight points.
He quietly left the rink side, deciding that he needed some air.
He needed to be better. Needed to up his jumps, especially his quads.
“Yuuri?” he glanced up at the sound of his name, noticing Minako was standing in front of him. “You okay?”
He stared at his former ballet teacher for a moment before forcing a smile and nodding his head.
“Of course, I’ll get on the podium next time,” he swore, causing Minako to chuckle and nod her head.
“Of course you will,” she agreed before pausing, the cheerful smile dimmed on her lips, “There is something I need to tell you, Yuuri.”
“What?” he questioned while tilting his head to the side curiously.
“It’s about Vicchan,” Minako said, causing him to pause in surprise. Had Minako brought Vicchan with her? Had she been hiding the poodle from him the last couple of days?
“What about him? Mum has been sending me good luck photos of him the last couple of days,” he said while pulling out his phone to show Minako the photos his mum had been sending him.
“Vicchan passed away a week ago,” Minako’s voice said, causing him to freeze in shock.
“What?” he mumbled softly, his voice failing him as he glanced up from his phone.
“Vicchan passed away last week,” Minako repeated.
He stared at Minako shocked, trying to process what he had just heard.
Vicchan? His Vicchan? His precious, sweet Vicchan? Was gone?
No. His mum had been sending him good luck photos of his precious poodle the last couple of days.
His mum wasn’t the type of person to lie. Especially not to him.
“No,” he whispered softly, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” Minako said, a sad smile on her lips.
“No, no, no,” he said while shaking his head, “Not Vicchan.”
“Mari suggested we not tell you until after your competition. We didn’t want to ruin your skating,” Minako explained, forcing a smile.
He stared at her horrified before taking a step back.
“Yuuri,” Minako began, but he shook his head as he turned around only to freeze at the group of people standing there. Not only were Josef and Chris standing there, looking at him worriedly, but also Victor Nikiforov with his gold medal glimmering from around his neck.
He took a shaky breath before making a hasty retreat towards the exit, ignoring everyone that called out after him.
He needed a moment to think. He needed to call home and see if Minako was telling the truth.
‘I’m sorry, Yuuri.’
The conversation still rang in his ear.
He sat on a random bench, having just ran after Minako had given him the news.
He had needed to clear his head, something that running normally did when he couldn’t get on the ice.
Minako hadn’t been lying.
His Vicchan was gone.
His beautiful, sweet Vicchan. Gone.
His hand tightened around his phone as he felt his eyes prickle with tears.
It had been almost three years since he had last seen his loyal poodle, and the realisation that he would never see Vicchan again hit him hard.
A sob escaped him as he curled in around himself.
His Vicchan was gone.
Vicchan was gone and he didn’t get to say goodbye.
He had been a horrible owner, just leaving the poodle behind while he trained overseas.
How could he have done that?
He would never get to cuddle his Vicchan again. Never get to mumble his worries and doubts to the poodle in the middle of the night. Never feel Vicchan’s small body pressed against him again.
Why did bad things always happen to him?
First, he fails at his first ever Grand Prix Final and now, he finds out that Vicchan had passed and his family didn’t tell him so it wouldn’t ruin his performance.
It was almost like everything he touched died or didn’t want him.
“What is wrong with me?” he chuckled weakly while attempting to wipe the tears that kept falling.