Chapter Text
“And who are you?” Matthew spits, rubbing his jaw, eyes narrowed at the intruder.
“Changkyun, stay behind me.” Lee’s voice is calm, but carries a low note of warning. Changkyun studies the tense figure in front of him and murmurs his assent, still trembling from shock.
“Aw, what’s this supposed to be?” Matthew bursts into mocking laughter. It rings in Changkyun’s ears, making his stomach roil with discomfort. “Your knight in shining armour? Sorry to break it to you, Daniel, but I could crush his head in one hand. But really, who are you? His new fucktoy?”
Changkyun lets out a low whimper.
“A witness.” Lee replies, voice still even, but Changkyun can detect the fury lying under his tone. “And stop talking about Changkyun that way. You know Changkyun has always cared for you and it’s not his fault you ended up becoming a dirty, sick fucker.”
“I’m sorry, but what would you know? You’ve only heard one side of the story, haven’t you?” Matthew grins, eyes glinting. Suddenly, his gaze swings back to Changkyun, that unsettling grin still plastered on his face. “Watch this, Danny, I’m going to tell your little boyfriend here all about what you did.”
Matthew takes a step forward, making him tower over Lee. To his credit, Lee doesn’t even flinch. “Did you know he stole for me? Don’t look at him like he’s a saint because he’s definitely broken the law as much as I have. And then at the end of the day, after preaching all about how “what Ashton’s doing is wrong” and all that shit, he’d still crawl back to me. Fucked me whenever I wanted it. But after all that? He still betrayed me. You think you know him but you don’t. He acts all high-and-mighty, like he has the high moral ground, but at the core, he’s just a dirty, hypocritical, traitor.”
Changkyun shuts his eyes, in a futile attempt to relieve his stinging eyes. His throat is raw and he feels sick to his stomach. He never wanted Lee to see him like this. The worst parts of himself, bared in front of him, leaving him exposed and vulnerable to scruntiny. There’s no way Lee will ever see me the same way again.
He’ll never like someone who’s fucked up like I am.
Lee’s voice, loud and defiant, is jarring to his ears.
“You think I don’t already know all about that? I really don’t get what you’re trying to prove. If you’re trying to get me to see Changkyun in a bad light, you’d better shut up right now before I punch you again.” Lee glares right back up at Matthew, the fiery defiance in his voice startling Changkyun into opening his eyes again. “No one sees him worse than he sees himself. And now I know why his self-esteem is so fucked.”
Lee may be saying this to Matthew, but to Changkyun, it sounds like his words are aimed at him.
“You don’t get to come here and say that I don’t know him because I do. He’s the most caring, unique and selfless person I know. He’s ambitious and talented, but so fucking humble it gets frustrating sometimes. He’s considerate and always gives me a shoulder to lean on. If he did something wrong, it’s only because he wasted his heart caring about you.” Lee says firmly. For a moment, the world comes to a halt around them. Even Matthew seems taken aback at the fire in his voice.
For the first time in that freezing night, Changkyun feels warm.
Finally, Matthew gives a derisive snort. “You done writing sonnets over there? This is so pathetic I can’t stand it anymore. If you came for a fight, let’s fight, coward. I want to get to the part where I beat your face in, already.”
Suddenly, Lee’s rocks back onto the balls of his feet, looking oddly calm. A small smile graces the corner of his mouth, his lips curling upwards in a slanted smirk. “Actually, that won’t be necessary. I didn’t come here for a fight.”
Changkyun follows his line of vision and can’t help the gasp that escapes him.
It’s the police. He hears feet pounding on the wooden path leading to the park. Changkyun estimates they’ll arrive in about twenty seconds.
The relief is choking, the tense atmosphere evaporating almost instantly. Wildly, Changkyun grins and moves forward, pushing gently past Lee. His mind is in a daze, but in the back of his mind, his objective is clear.
Drawing back with as much force as he can muster, Changkyun lunges forward and socks Matthew in the jaw, right where Lee had hit him. There’s another satisfying crack and Changkyun shakes his fist. It’s stinging in pain but it’s worth it to see the stunned look on Matthew’s face.
“Self-defence,” He hears himself say, breathless with adrenaline. A little half-hysterical giggle leaves him. He probably looks slightly crazed, but he doesn’t care. Months of anxiety, panic attacks and fear are lifting from him like a cloud. “He threatened us. I’m defending myself.”
Lee coughs from behind him, sounding incredulous yet proud at the same time. “Sure, why not? I mean, I got a punch in, so you deserve to get one too.”
Changkyun nods affirmatively, but before he can do anything else (like maybe, get another punch in) the police storm the scene.
“Officer, these two are wasting your time. I haven’t done anything that warrants an arrest. Please, it’s just a personal affair between us that got a little heated.” All of a sudden, Matthew changes as the police snap the handcuffs over his wrists. The picture of innocence. Changkyun stares, fascinated yet disgusted at how manipulative his former best friend had become.
“I guess you could try to fake your way out of it. But I doubt it’ll work when we recorded every word of that conversation.” Lee says, the vicious satisfaction practically oozing from his voice. Then, to Changkyun’s utter amazement, another man steps out from where the police are standing. At first, his mind being swept up by the whole situation, he mistakes him as another police officer but upon closer inspection he realises –
It’s Wonho.
“What the fuck?” He says softly, but with feeling.
He spins around, to see if Lee shares his shock but he freezes up once he takes in the man standing before him.
He doesn’t know how he missed it before – the mask, the drawn-up hood, the overwhelming anxiety and fear he felt engulfing all his senses – but now that the immediate danger is over, it’s unmistakable.
“He stood back there recording every sickening word you said. And with concrete evidence like this, the first thing I’m going to do is file a restraining order against you. You will never come near Changkyun again, do you hear me? Never.” Jooheon – Lee? – hisses visciously, the force of his words intimidating beyond measure.
Changkyun watches as the panic sets in, Matthew’s eyes going wide as he realises that not even he can get out of this situation. He starts to struggle, face twisted in an ugly scowl, eyes flaring in panic. Changkyun watches as he spits out words that are surely cruel but he doesn’t hear anything. All his senses feel numb, like he’s underwater. It’s probably for the best, he knows but that won’t stop his nightmares from conjuring up the most cruel form Matthew’s words could have taken.
He keeps watching, all the way until Matthew’s hauled off into a police car and disappears from sight.
Then, he turns, all the fight and adrenaline leaving his body, and strides right towards Jooheon (Lee?). He laughs once, with that same half-hysterical note in it and presses his forehead against his chest.
Awkwardly – Changkyun can feel Jooheon’s hesitance when his hand hovers above Changkyun’s head – Jooheon places a tentative hand on the back of his head, letting it rest there comfortingly.
“Hey, so, sorry I couldn’t actually be your knight in shining armour and drop kick him into oblivion – I wanted to but he’s huge and I’m not really a fighter,” Jooheon jokes nervously, voice trembling slightly. Changkyun can hear the rapidness of his heartbeat thrumming in his chest. “Besides, I figured the sneaky approach would be better. To make sure he could never harm you again.”
“So it’s you.”
He cuts him off because Lee mentioned once that he has a tendency to ramble when he’s nervous. Changkyun hears him gulp. Pause. Suck in a deep breath of air.
“Yeah. It’s me.”
Silence drifts over the both of them. Changkyun knows they should talk, but he doesn’t quite want to move yet. Finally, Jooheon draws in a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry, Changkyun. I really wanted to tell you but – it’s not that I didn’t trust you – I do, and I swear I was going to tell you who I really am today – it’s just, it was hard, you know? Knowing that you looked up to me so much and knowing that I’m nowhere near what you think of me. I was scared and I didn’t want to disappoint you –“ Jooheon says, the hand on the back of his head tightening. Changkyun feels him tremble slightly, like he’s scared.
Bold and unafraid in the face of Matthew literally threatening to beat him up but frightened thinking of Changkyun’s reaction? It’s such a Lee thing to do that he laughs again.
His laughter seems to catch Jooheon off guard because he tenses up. Changkyun can understand why he’d be scared – he’s definitely feeling some hurt, as unreasonable as it is, that Lee never told him who he was even though Changkyun considered him one of his closest friends. But at the same time, there’s relief. He’s glad that Lee turned out to be Jooheon, who Changkyun’s also growing to consider a friend as of late.
(He knew the chemistry between them during those afternoons spent in the recording studio couldn’t be a coincidence. It was just like those times they’d helped each other with their raps over messages late in the night.)
So he tells him.
“Don’t be sorry. I could never be disappointed that it was you.” Changkyun huffs a little indignantly. “You’re always so hard on yourself. Why would I be mad when my talented, caring, amazing friend Lee turned out to be the same person as my also talented, caring and amazing friend Jooheon? Besides, I stopped putting you on a pedestal a long time ago. You don’t need to prove anything to me.”
Jooheon stares at him in wonder. “Shit. I’ve really been overthinking this, haven’t I? Trust you to make me all stressed and anxious over nothing, asshole.” Changkyun glows a little at the fondess in his voice. “You’re amazing.”
“Stop it,” Changkyun whines. “Matthew’s gone, you don’t need to keep saying nice shit about me to defend my honor or whatever.”
“Are you kidding?” Jooheon says, incredulous. He grips Changkyun’s shoulders with both hands, putting a little distance between them, looking him in the eye. “I meant every word I said. Truthfully, none of that was really for Matthew. I wanted you to hear it. It’s all the things I’ve always wanted to tell you in person.”
Heat floods his body. “Oh my god,” Changkyun says weakly, not entirely sure how to deal with the onslaught of praise. Thank you, he wants to say, no one has ever made me feel as appreciated, as special as you do. Thank you so fucking much. Instead, he says, “now I have to deal with your cheesy lines in person?”
He regrets it almost immediately, but to his surprise, Jooheon’s eyes soften and he gives a small chuckle. He nods slightly, a knowing look in his eyes as if he heard Changkyun speak his thoughts aloud.
“Of course. You’re stuck with me now.” Jooheon says, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes. “Not literally of course. You probably need some time to process all this so I’ll just leave now –“
“No!” Changkyun blurts. Jooheon pauses. Swallowing, embarrassed, he clarifies, “actually, you can, um. Stay. If you’d like.” He tries to ignore how he failed to mask the pleading note in his voice.
Jooheon stares at him and after about three seconds, he breaks. “Please. I don’t – um – really want to be alone right now. And Minhyuk won’t be back until tomorrow.”
Jooheon wraps him in another hug. “Hey, hey, hey – don’t be embarrassed. It’s totally fine, of course I’ll stay. I was just a little surprised because I thought you’d need some space. You’re way too understanding towards me, so I thought I’d try to be a little more considerate. Sure you’re not mad?”
“Nah,” Changkyun says. “Okay – maybe a little, about one thing.”
Jooheon jerks so quickly, eyes looking at him in alarm, that he has to stifle a laugh.
“Come on, you let me ramble about Monsta X to you all the time and you never even tried to stop me. Anyone would be mad.” Changkyun covers his face, groaning slightly. “It’s so embarrassing, I’m never going to live this down.”
Jooheon laughs. “You didn’t ramble. You were straight-up fanboying.”
When Changkyun headbutts him in weak protest, he laughs again. “Okay, okay. But really, it was so cute. I couldn’t bring myself to stop you.”
Weakly, Changkyun says, “Shut up. I hate you. We’re never speaking of this again and we’re going up to my apartment to marathon Buzzfeed Unsolved for the next few hours to forget any of this ever happened.”
With a smirk, Jooheon gives him a small salute. “Whatever you say, jooheonsthighs.tumblr.com.”
Changkyun gapes. How did he…? Oh, he is going to kill Minhyuk. Kill him, spit on his grave, then resurrect him with dark magic just to kill him again.
(And yet, settling on the couch with Lee – Jooheon – with a bucket of popcorn, this might also be the happiest he’s ever been.)
✖
bff satan [10:43pm]
kyunie? are you okay?
you were supposed to check in with me like 30min ago
did lee actually kidnap you wAS HE A CATFISH ALL ALONG
kkukkung [10:45pm]
oh um hi? sorry this is actually lee
or rather jooheon? i’m lee jooheon and also changkyun’s online friend lee
oh wow I probably should have explained this better but anyway
don’t worry changkyuns safe he just fell asleep on the couch while we were having a movie marathon
he’s had a tiring day bc matthew showed up earlier but don’t worry he’s at the police station now
I’ll get him to call you when he wakes up
bff satan [10:47pm]
wait what
wHAT
message not read
✖
Sunlight filters in through the window. Groggily, Jooheon lifts his head and intends for his body to do the same, if not for the warm mass laying on top of him. No, not a mass – a person.
Changkyun.
The memories rush back into his head; the encounter with Matthew, Changkyun’s discovery of his identity, their movie night where both had ended up falling asleep on the couch.
Despite his aching limbs – wow his neck is really killing him – he finds that he can’t regret a single thing, not when Changkyun is pressed up against him like some offensively cute koala.
Fondly, he brushes Changkyun’s messy fringe away from his face. He chuckles a little to himself, knowing how amused Changkyun would be by the action if he was conscious. Such a cliché, he would tease.
Then, as if summoned by his thoughts, Changkyun stirs beneath his touch. He opens his eyes slowly, squinting slightly as the sunlight reaches his face. He scrunches up his nose, as if personally offended by the existence of the sun and Jooheon nearly cooes at how adorable it is.
“Hey,” he whispers, a soft grin gracing his face.
Jooheon watches in amusement as a faint, pink dusting spreads over his cheeks. Changkyun’s head drops back onto the couch. “Hey,” he replies, voice muffled by the fabric.
He knows it should be weird. They’ve only communicated via texting for most of their relationship, excluding the times he’s met Changkyun as Jooheon, making last night the first time they’ve interacted knowing all the facets of each other’s identity. It should be weird, awkward, unbearable.
Yet, it isn’t. Jooheon finds himself content to just sit beside Changkyun, listen to his breathing, even, calm and light. To simply exist near him because they can finally do that now. Changkyun seems to share his sentiments, lying beside him without a word. Neither willing to break the calm, warm bubble of the early morning encasing them.
Around a half hour later, Changkyun stirs again. This time, when he looks up, his eyes are clear and he’s wide awake.
“Breakfast?” He asks, voice deeper and huskier than usual. Jooheon barely suppresses the shiver he feels run down his spine. Not trusting his voice to speak without squeaking at the moment, he simply nods.
It isn’t until Changkyun gets up, walks towards the bathroom and Jooheon finds himself unable to tear his eyes away that the realisation of what he’s probably known for a long time hits him like a freight train.
Jooheon is so very, very fucked.
✖
“I can’t believe this happened in the two days I was supposed to be away,” Minhyuk groans, burying his face into his arms. Jeongguk pats him on the back sympathetically, though he apparently doesn’t have enough sympathy to stop sipping his milkshake.
“I wasn’t there either, hyung. Too bad, I would’ve got it on camera.” Jeongguk says.
Changkyun rolls his eyes. “My life isn’t a drama for your entertainment, brat.”
Jeongguk snorts. “Keep telling yourself that, hyung, when you fall in love with some stranger over the internet and then find out that same stranger is a celebrity you coincidentally have a huge crush on! Yeah, sure. Even a drama couldn’t be this ridiculous.”
“I’m not in love with him!”
Minhyuk cocks his head, as if genuinely curious. “You’re not?”
Instantly, Changkyun flushes. “No – I – I don’t know! I just met him, officially anyway, isn’t it too soon to say that sort of thing?”
“It’s never too soon for love, young padawan.” Minhyuk says solemnly.
“You said the same about alcohol when I was sixteen!”
Minhyuk whistles theatrically, feigning innocence. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, the point is – you liked him as Lee and you had a crush on him as Jooheon. Don’t make things more complicated that they really are.”
“But it is complicated!” Changkyun protests. “It could never work and I don’t want to ruin a friendship like ours by making things weird.”
“See, that’s the kind of thinking that makes dramas like yours stretch out for so much longer than necessary.” Minhyuk sighs. “I love you but just trust me on this one. Instead of concluding that it could ‘never work’ could you just try asking him? As the male lead of this drama, I’m gonna need you to do something about your situation.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about but I guess some of it makes sense? In a weird, very you way.” Changkyun concludes. “I’ll… try.”
✖
heoney bee [9:24am]
hyung!! rmb that thing I mentioned last week?
could you help me tell manager-nim I need to talk to him
I’m going to the starship building in half an hour
hyungwonnie [9:33am]
oh shit
yeah of course sure
i’m not saying i.m’s not up to it but it’s not going to be easy for you to convince him
heony bee [9:34am]
i know and i’ll come prepared
thanks hyung I owe u one
hyungwonnie [9:35am]
no need
kid honestly deserves it I want this as much as you do
✖
Lee [10:40am]
changkyun hi!!
so I know it’s only been like 2h since I left your apartment but could we meet up? I have something to tell you
I.M [10:45am]
oh really? same here haha
why don’t we meet tomorrow if you’re free? is the café near my house okay?
Lee [10:45am]
can we meet tmr?
I.M [10:46am]
ooh same thinking haha
it’s a date then!
so is the café okay
Lee [10:46am]
YES
Sorry caqps lock
I mean
yes
I.M [10:47am]
okay nice
cool
see you tomorrow
Lee [10:48am]
yeah
cool
I.M [10:49am]
cool
[Edit / Delete Contact]
Lee >> Jooheon
[Confirm / Cancel]
✖
kkukkung [10:48am]
did I do okay??
I did everything you said
even the weird ‘it’s a date’ thing
bff satan [10:48am]
oh god
kyunie baby no
I told you to be SUAVE
not whatever… this is
but it’s okay judging by his reactions you succeeded AND he’s as big a mess as you!! so all’s good
kkukkung [10:49am]
okay thanks hyung you’re a lifesaver
bff satan [10:50am]
yeah keep saying that even as I send these screenshots to guk lmao he’s gonna LOVE this
kkukkung [10:50am]
DON’T YOU DARE SEND THESE TO JEONGGUK
I’LL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN
bff satan [10:51am]
yeah that’s sort of the point? lmao
and it was at this moment he knew he fucked up.mp3
ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)