Chapter Text
As he walks through the doors to their dorm building, Leonard takes a deep breath and prepares himself to face Jim. He can’t help but check the messages on his comm one more time as he takes the lift to their floor, wondering if Jim ever responded to the message he sent about eight hours earlier during his first class.
He still can’t believe he had blurted it all out to Jim right before classes. Right before he had to leave him alone for the next several hours and not be able to explain himself!
As he steps off the lift and heads down the hall toward their room, Leonard hopes that he can deal with the fallout. He prays that Jim won’t absolutely hate him for being in cahoots with his mom all this time. Or worse, that Jim shuts down again and loses all the progress he’s made these past forty-eight hours or so.
Leonard takes a deep breath and types in his code into the panel to the left of their door. As the door opens and he steps inside, the sound of classic Earth rock music assaults his ears.
Oh boy, he thinks to himself, knowing what this means. Jim usually only blasts his old Earth tunes when he’s angry, and usually only when it involves his family. Leonard supposes it reminds him of his angry, rebellious years. Now that he knows the story about the cliff and the corvette, he’s more confident about that theory than ever.
Carefully he walks through the cramped little room they call a “living room” to their bedroom where he finds Jim sprawled out on the bed with a PADD in his hands. Leonard figures he’s doing homework to get his mind off of things.
“Hey, Bones,” Jim casually says, not looking up from his PADD.
Leonard blinks, confused. “‘Hey, Bones?’”
Jim looks up, looking almost as confused as Leonard is. And then he realizes that Leonard thinks Jim’s mad at him. “Oh,” he says, putting down the PADD and sitting up, “I’m sorry, Bones.” Leonard raises a brow expectantly. “I wasn’t mad at you earlier. Well, maybe a little bit, but mostly I was mad at my mom for...worming into my life like that.”
Leonard turns the desk chair around so the back is facing the bed, then seats himself in it backwards so he can fold his arms across the back. “She’s just trying to look out for you. To do what parents do: worry about their kids.”
“Yeah,” Jim says with a heavy sigh. “I just--our relationship is a little--”
“Strained, yeah. So I gathered.”
Jim closes his eyes and flops back onto the bed. “I ran from you ‘cause I didn’t know how to process that. I needed to think things through on my own. I’m sorry, Bones. You worried all day about me being mad at you and whether I’d do something stupid, didn’t you?” he says, raising his head to look up at him.
“You know me,” Leonard answers, abandoning the chair to come and sit beside him on the bed. As he does, the current song ends and an ancient 20th century song comes on--
“Fuck the police. Charming, Jim.”
Jim laughs and adjusts himself so he’s resting back on his elbows. “It’s a rap song from the 1980s that talks about the injustices done against African Americans by the police. Racial profiling, police brutality... It sounds profane, but when you really listen to it these guys are spitting some hard truths, Bones. That was some fucked up stuff.”
“Interesting,” Leonard says, nodding in consideration. He takes a moment to listen to the lyrics and Jim’s right. The vulgar sentiment towards the police makes sense now. “I can see how a younger you would identify with the messages about abuse of authority and all that.”
He nods. “I could rap this whole thing for you, but it really wouldn’t be fair to subject you to that,” Jim says with a note of humor.
“Looks like there is a God after all,” Leonard says, and then he turns his head up to the sky and folds his hands like he’s praying. “I’ve been spared. Thank you, Lord.”
“Asshole,” Jim grumbles, knocking his knee into Leonard’s side with as much force as he can muster from the angle he’s at.
“That’s your title, not mine,” he teases as he falls back onto the bed and turns so he’s facing Jim. Wrapping an arm around Jim’s torso, Leonard pulls the other man in. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.”
“So people keep telling me.”
Rolling his eyes, Leonard plants a quick kiss on Jim’s lips before turning the conversation back towards the topic at hand. “So,” he begins carefully, “did you speak with your ma or were you just in here brooding the whole time?”
Jim sighs, gently turning himself so he’s lying flat on his back but still in Leonard’s grasp. He takes Leonard’s hand in his as he looks up at the ceiling. “I called. I yelled…I hung up because she didn’t even answer. I left a message.”
Leonard frowns. “Not exactly tactful, Jim.”
“I don’t aim for tact with my mom. I just go for bluntness. We don’t mince words with each other.”
“Yeah, I get that.” Their relationship operates in somewhat the same way. Leonard is appreciative of the open communication between Jim and himself and the fact that neither of them bother to dance around how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking. There are no mind games, no reading between the lines...just saying what they mean and meaning what they say.
“Bones, I get that she’s just trying to look out for me and be a good mom after all the shit we’ve gone through, but that was going too far.” Jim nudges Leonard’s arm away and then, abruptly, sits up and turns to look down at him. “She knows that that’s my story to tell and no one else’s. She had no right to go behind my back like that and—!”
“Jim— Jim !” Leonard sits up now, too, and puts his hands on Jim’s shoulders as the younger man’s voice rises. He’s starting to work himself into a frenzy. Leonard can see him clenching his fists, curling the sheets into his palms to hide the fact that his hands are beginning to shake. Only when Jim pauses and looks at him does Leonard continue. “She didn’t tell me anything.”
Jim blinks. “What?” He stills beneath Leonard’s hands.
“She didn’t tell me anything. All she said when she called me was that she wanted me to keep an eye on you because this is a tough time of year for you.”
“That’s it? But then—“
“I didn’t get two degrees for bein’ good lookin’, Jim,” Leonard says with a smirk. “This noggin’ ain’t just full o’ hot air like a certain somebody’s is.”
“Hey!”
“My point is that Winona didn’t tell your story. She didn’t tell me why I needed to look out for you. She knew I cared about you and that I could be relied upon to make sure you didn’t do something stupid. Your ma may not be mom of the year or anythin’, but she knows you, Jim. She and I both know you do dumb shit when you’re mad or scared or hurt.”
“Oh,” Jim lamely replies, quiet and still beneath Leonard’s hands.
“Yeah,” Leonard says with a little laugh, smiling at how ridiculously smart and ridiculously dumb Jim Kirk can be sometimes.
“Then how did you…?”
“I pieced things together myself, genius.”
“Oh,” Jim intelligently responds yet again.
“Yeah. And when I pieced it together I merely verified it with Winona who, for the record, didn’t want to admit anything but couldn’t really deny anything, either. All she did was confirm my suspicions and tell me again that it’s your story to tell, not hers. She gave me a small bit of context, but that’s it. I promise you, Jim. She didn’t break your confidence in her.”
He feels a need to defend Winona but also to reassure Jim. To let him know that after placing his trust in his mother she didn’t break it. To perhaps help mend the relationship between mother and son even if only a little. The both of them deserve to be happy and to have each other. Leonard’s own family has been at odds with each other ever since his father’s passing. They know what he did for his father… to his father. Not everyone agrees with what he did and even so, in many ways David McCoy was the string that held the family together. Without him, many members of the large McCoy clan went their own ways and were content not to be in contact with the greater whole. Jim’s family is so small, and right now it’s barely existent at all. At heart, Leonard is a family man, and so he feels the need to unite this broken family and make it whole again. Family, whether it’s biological or self-made, can only make you stronger. Jim needs to know he’s not alone. He needs that strength.
Jim heaves a deep breath and flops back on the bed once more. He looks up at the ceiling again, as if it has some wise words to offer him or an escape door hidden up there. His bright blue eyes are swirling with emotions, a mix of understanding, guilt, relief, anger...Leonard can only imagine the complex and conflicting feelings he’s trying to work through at the moment. Knowing that in moments like these that Jim needs his space, Leonard quietly scoots over to the edge of the bed, intending to climb out and leave the room. Instead, Jim reaches out a hand and grabs his wrist. He doesn’t need to say a word for Leonard to know what he’s asking for. He eases himself back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Jim from behind. As Leonard pulls him in as close as he can get him, Jim squeezes his arm in gratitude.
They’re both half asleep when the familiar pip of an incoming comm signal fills the room. Leonard swears aloud, rolling away from the sound. He groans, pressing his face into the crook of Jim’s neck. It does nothing to mask the sound, of course. Jim moans, shifting around so he’s lying on his back. Gently he pries Leonard off amidst his protests and sits up, presumably so he can see who the incoming video call is from. As the screen continues to chirp, demanding a response, Leonard realizes in his sleepy haze that Jim has yet to actually answer the call.
Sighing, Leonard reluctantly sits himself up to see Jim staring at the screen. He blinks the sleep from his eyes to read the name of the caller-- Dammit. It’s Winona. Go figure she calls right when Jim’s finally getting some sleep.
But he certainly doesn’t want Jim to ignore the call, especially after whatever resentful and unpleasant message he left his mother earlier.
“Gawkin’ at it ain’t gon’ make it shut up, Jim. You wanna answer that?”
“Not particularly.”
“Too bad,” Leonard says in a tone that brokers no room for argument. “I think you owe her an apology. It’ll be good for you two to talk.”
Jim rolls his eyes like the infant he is. “Ugh, Bones. Please…” It’s a clear sign Jim knows he was in the wrong now, and Leonard knows he hates being wrong. In all fairness to Jim, it’s not an easy conversation to have. But he does have one thing to make it all easier...
“I’ll be right here if you need me, sugar,” Leonard assures him in a gentler tone. He wraps an arm around Jim and rubs his hand down his arm to comfort him.
Jim sighs. “Fine,” he answers, drawing the word out. Again, ever the infant.
With permission given, Leonard rubs his eyes and puts the call through for him. A moment later Winona’s face appears on screen. This time she’s in civvies, sitting in her quarters.
Her eyes go straight to Jim and a tight, sad smile crosses her features. “Jim,” she says, so adoringly. “Thank you for taking my call. I know you’re mad at me--”
“Not anymore. Not as much, anyway,” Jim says, cutting her off. He’s not quite looking in her eyes.
“I explained everything to him,” Leonard explains at Winona’s confused expression.
Winona’s wide eyes turn toward him. “Thank you, Leonard. You really didn’t need to do that for me.” She shifts her attention back to Jim. “I’m sorry, Jim. It wasn’t my intention to make you--I never wanted you to feel like I’d broken your trust. But I know this is a really tough time for you, and with it being the ten year anniversary, I couldn’t sit by and do nothing.”
Jim nods, head cast down. “I know. I know, I just--”
“You’re very secretive about it, I know. I understand why.” Suddenly Leonard realizes what would happen if Jim was exposed as a Tarsus survivor, let alone one of the Tarsus Nine. Their identities are kept absolutely top-secret by the very few people who know any and all of them, but if word got out? The son of Starfleet’s hero, George Kirk...a survivor of the worst massacre in recent Federation history? No one would ever leave him or his mother alone. Journalists, historians, Fleet brass, the general public...anyone and everyone would begin digging into Tarsus again to find out more about Jim’s time on the colony and about the identities of the other eight Tarsus survivors. Those eight kids who are like Jim’s children and whose lives would be equally as uprooted if their identities were revealed.
And that’s not factoring in Jim’s very valid and personal reasons for wanting to keep his experiences to himself. Leonard doesn’t blame him for his secrecy.
“Leonard’s a smart man,” Winona continues. “He just happened to figure it all out before anyone told him. He called me to talk about how best to approach you and that’s it.”
“I know,” Jim says. He takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. “And I also know that you had to have set up a secure, long-distance connection in order to talk to Bones and me. That can’t have been easy…” He glances upward, looking her in the eye at last. Winona’s face breaks into a watery-eyed smile.
She shrugs. “Anything for you, kiddo. I just want to help you in whatever way I can. I wish there was more I could do.”
Jim smiles back. It’s a small smile and a little forced, but Leonard can see he’s trying. “I know you do. I appreciate it, mom.”
Leonard can see her face light up upon hearing Jim call her ‘mom.’ He gets it. The same thing happens to him when he sees Joanna and she calls him ‘daddy’. He’s always worried that she’ll stop calling him that, resenting him for not being more present in her life.
“So...we’re okay? You’re not still angry with me?” Winona asks with trepidation.
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re okay. I’m not mad. The fact that you didn’t even tell Bones, even after he found out about everything...Thanks for letting me keep all that to myself until I was ready to talk about it.”
“I’m just glad you have someone you finally feel comfortable sharing it with. You two are good for each other, I can tell,” she says, a radiant warmth in her eyes and her smile.
To Leonard’s disbelief, Jim’s ears redden. He looks from his mother to Leonard and then he smiles, a shy and tender smile that is absolutely genuine. It’s a rare sight to see. Leonard’s heart flutters. “I know. I don’t know where I’d be without Bones,” he says, with utmost sincerity.
Leonard swallows hard, not sure what to say in response. But, feeling the need to lighten the mood before he starts crying like the damn sap he secretly is, he laughs. “I dunno who was worse off when we first got here: him with a bloody, broken nose and a ‘Devil may care’ attitude,” he says, jabbing a thumb in Jim’s direction, “or me, a drunken astraphobic enlisting in Starfleet because he was out of options.”
“Quite a pair you two must’ve been,” Winona says with a chuckle, looking between the two of them.
“And now look at us,” Jim brightly replies, sounding much more like himself. With his typical Kirkian flare, Jim grins at the pair of them. “Graduating a year early and bound for the great unknown on Starfleet’s brand new flagship.” Leonard rolls his eyes.
Winona raises her thin, blonde eyebrows high. “Flagship, eh?”
“Please,” Leonard interjects. “That ain’t at all certain! He’s just bein’ a presumptuous, overly confident brat.”
“Wow, Bones, tell me how you really feel,” Jim sarcastically retorts, but he knows there’s no real bite to Leonard’s words.
His mother shakes her head, laughing. “I feel sorry for the captain who has to put up with you two.”
“Mom, no captain is gonna have to ‘put up with’ us because I’m gonna be the captain.” Jim says, smug as ever.
“Ah, going straight to captain, are you?” Winona dubiously replies with a chuckle.
“Hell yeah, I am!”
Leonard folds his arms over his chest. “I would rather throw myself out the nearest airlock than be under your captaincy!”
“I love how loving and supportive you are, babe,” Jim says mockingly in response.
“Eat me.”
Jim opens his mouth to shoot back a witty reply but then pales as he realizes his mom is right there.
Leonard and Winona both bark out a laugh.
“So,” Winona begins as the laughter dies down, “Leonard, did you tell him your idea for the weekend?”
“What about the weekend?” Jim blinks, looking from his mother to Leonard.
He isn’t sure why he’s just a little nervous to reveal his idea to Jim, but he is, and so he takes a breath to steady himself before he speaks. “I think we should go somewhere for the weekend. Get far away from the Academy. I was thinking we could leave tomorrow--”
Jim still looks confused, and now also a little shocked. “But classes, Bones.”
Leonard waves a hand. “Screw it, we’ll skip.”
“Bones?” Nothing but shock, now.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea, Jim. Get away from the Academy and any talk about...the anniversary,” Winona interjects, smiling softly.
“Yeah, no, it’s a great idea,” Jim says, shaking his head like he’s coming out of a trance. “Yeah, I was just surprised that it was Bones who suggested it,” he says, addressing his mother. He turns to Leonard. “You hate the outdoors. And you never skip class.”
“But you don’t hate the outdoors. And there’s no harm in skippin’ just a day of classes, especially if it’s for as legitimate an excuse as we have.”
“Well...okay, but where would we go?”
“I was thinking we could find a cabin to rent or go pitch a tent somewhere, but I was still trying to narrow down where to go. As you can imagine, since I ain’t much of one for campin’ and the outdoors, I got little idea how to plan that kind of trip.”
“Honestly, Bones, the better question is what are you much of one for?” Jim snarkily shoots back. Leonard shoots him a Look. Jim knows the one.
“Try Yosemite,” Winona cuts in unexpectedly, and both turn to look at her. Winona nods, continuing, “It’s got rock climbing, hiking, swimming, horseback riding, waterfalls, gorgeous views...There’s tons to do there.”
Jim turns to Bones excitedly. “ Rock climbing, Bones!” he whispers with unbridled enthusiasm. Leonard sees a grin spread across Winona’s face at the joy on her son’s. He’ll pretend not to notice the shine in her eyes.
In his usual fashion, Leonard rolls his eyes and groans. “Lord, Jim, why you gotta go climbin’ goddamn rocks? You go out botherin’ everybody else and then you gotta go botherin’ nature, too? ”
Winona bursts out laughing. Jim bumps his shoulder into Leonard’s.
“C’mon, Bones, don’t be such a Scrooge! I’ll teach you how while we’re there. It’ll be fun! We’ll use the safest, top-grade safety equipment, too, I promise!”
Leonard makes a show of his reluctant acquiescence, folding his arms and grumbling as he shakes his head. “Alright, Yosemite it is, then.”
Jim is ecstatic.
“If anything happens to me, though,” Leonard begins, addressing Winona now, “I want you to make sure my daughter knows that it was this asshole’s fault and not to follow her daddy’s lead and go fallin’ in love with reckless idiots.”
“You want me to use the word ‘asshole’?” Winona asks, schooling her expression to appear absolutely serious.
“You decide,” Leonard says, appearing equally as serious.
“Dad of the Year, right here, ‘ma,” Jim says, jabbing a thumb in Leonard’s direction.
Leonard shoots him another Look that could kill. “Why do I put up with you?” he sighs.
“Because I’m hilarious, giftedly intelligent, and most importantly: gorgeous?” Jim offers, pulling him in to plant a quick, chaste kiss on his lips.
Leonard pulls away, shaking his head. “No, that doesn’t sound quite right…”
“Well, looks like you two have your plans all set, and I’m beginning to feel like a bit of a third wheel here at this point. Why don’t I leave you boys to get ready for your getaway and check back in with you later?” Winona says, looking between the two of them affectionately. Leonard most assuredly does not see tears in her eyes. No, sir.
“Oh, you’re not--” Leonard hastens to tell her, not wanting her to feel like she’s being ejected from the conversation. They haven’t been speaking with her for long. He’d hate for her to go so soon when she gets so little time with Jim.
“We’ll call you and tell you all about it when we get back, ‘ma,” Jim cuts in to reassure her, giving her a warm and genuine smile.
Leonard’s heart swells with pride. Jim is opening up to his mom and actually offering to keep in touch with her without being asked to by anyone. It seems he’s on his way to mending his relationship with his mother.
Winona nods. Clearing her throat, she says, “Can’t wait,” voice thick with emotion. “I’m sure you’ll have quite the story for me.”
“I’ll give him this much: he is a good storyteller.” Leonard laughs lightly.
“Always was,” Winona wistfully replies. “Bye, boys. I’ll talk to you later. Have a wonderful trip.”
“Bye, Winona.”
“Bye, mom. And...I appreciate you looking out for me. And for letting me tell Bones myself.”
The Commander beams back at him, eyes watery. “I’m just so happy that you’re willing to still have me in your life, sweetheart.”
“Me, too,” Jim says softly.
“Later, boys.” Winona waves, and then the connection is cut and all that’s left is a blank screen.
A moment of silence passes between them. Leonard manages to shut the screen off before Jim pulls him close and envelopes him in his arms.
“Thanks for making me do that.”
“I’m proud of you for doin’ it, darlin’.”
Jim leans in to steal another kiss, this one more tender and longer lasting than the previous one.
Leonard’s lips spread into a lazy smile, and the dumb grin is still plastered on his face as they break apart. “Well, I suppose we should start gettin’ packed,” he says, even as his hand still remains on the side of Jim’s face, his fingers brushing the edge of his hairline on the back of his neck.
“Or,” Jim says mischievously, “we could lay here a little longer.”
“Oh, yeah?” Leonard coyly replies, thumb tracing Jim’s lips gently.
Jim reaches up and grabs his hand, gently placing a kiss on it. “And by ‘lay here’ I mean fuck,” he bluntly adds, that stupid-ass grin Leonard knows so well splitting across his face.
“God, you tact less idiot,” Leonard groans with an overly dramatic roll of the eyes. “What ever happened to proper romancin’?”
Jim huffs impatiently, very nearly rolling his eyes in a very Leonard-like manner. “Fuck, Bones, just get over here already!” Jim says, grabbing his wrist and pulling Leonard back into bed. He barks out a laugh as he climbs on top of Jim. Carding a hand through Jim’s sandy blond hair, he dips his head and plants a searing, passionate kiss on those beautiful lips.