Chapter Text
December 1, 1985
“Dad, can you pick up more lined paper on your way home today?” El called into Hopper’s bathroom, hoping he could hear her over the shower’s roar.
A body wash bottle audibly fell from its shelf onto the marble tub’s floor. “El, shower time is relaxing time!” she heard him reply, but El wasn’t having any of that.
“I’m serious!” El retaliated, and after a moment’s pause, she heard the water die off and heavy pattering of footsteps around the bathroom until her father emerged with wet hair and a uniform that was probably due to be washed.
“Jesus, El, obviously I’m gonna get you your lined paper,” he grumbled, and El smiled. “Got a big report for Steve coming up?”
El shook her head. “No. Running out of papers for my word book,” she corrected, and Hopper chuckled.
“I can’t believe you went through all those so damn fast,” he mumbled, and El felt her chest grow swollen with pride.
El could hardly believe it, herself. When she got her Word Book, there were so many pages that El thought she couldn’t possibly learn enough words in all her life to fill it up. But here she was, less than a year later, asking for more to document her ever-growing knowledge.
When those pages were blank, El never spoke a single full sentence. When those pages were blank, she was struggling to teach herself about the world, without Steve to tutor and guide her. When those pages were blank, she had never felt sand between her toes. Never ridden a roller-coaster. Never counted the stars. Never painted her nails or went shopping or got stung by a bee. And as her collection of memories grew, so did her vocabulary. So did her love for the world.
Love.
That was one word she had not yet defined.
“Bye, El!” Hopper called on his way out, and El returned the goodbye.
She decided it was time to conquer this four-letter word. And she’d start with the most logical person she thought could teach her.
4.
“Hey, kiddo. Sleep well last night?” Steve asked when he entered the living room, chuckling at El’s bedhead. El nodded. “Let’s take a look at those worksheets you did for today, sound good? Got any questions?”
El followed him and sat on her bed as Steve sat at the desk. “Yes,” she started, and Steve looked up, awaiting her inquiry.
“What is love?”
The question had clearly taken her tutor aback, his eyebrows shooting up and eyes widening. He ran a hand through fluffed-up hair, and El moved from her bed to the table, sensing this might be a more complicated lesson than she had anticipated.
“Well, that’s a good question,” Steve responded slowly. El thought she saw some type of long-buried sadness in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. There were times when Steve didn’t know the answers to El’s questions right away, but he was always able to flip to the back of a book or work it out with little effort.
But El was pretty sure there wasn’t an answer key for this question.
“What do you think it is?” Steve decided to ask in reply, and El bit her lip, displeased with receiving a question in response to her question.
She had heard the word love used in many different contexts. Mike loved Dungeons and Dragons. Will loved drawing. Lucas loved his little sister. Max loved how fast she could move while skateboarding. Dustin loved Nilla Wafers. But those were all just things. Things that people liked. Like, really really like.
Like.
“You go to school dances with someone that you...like.”
“A friend?”
“No, not a friend.”
El let the memory situate itself soundly in her heart. She had felt so content in that cafeteria, right before all hell had broken loose.
She needed to answer Steve’s question if she wanted to get closer to solving this mystery. “More than just like,” El thought.
Steve nodded, smile playing on his lips but still situated somewhat somberly. “That’s a good way of putting it. Anything else?”
El knew the types of people she was supposed to love, from readings and through the real world. Nancy Drew loved her dad. Sam and Diane in from Cheers, which she and Hopper sometimes watched at night, loved each other despite sometimes having funny ways of showing it. Will and Joyce always said, “I love you,” to each other whenever they parted. And Dustin, ever the sap, had blurted out, “I love you guys,” to the whole party more than a few times.
Those people they loved were special, too. Nancy trusted her dad more than anyone else. Sam and Diane kissed, and they only kissed each other-
She and Mike kissed, too.
She and Mike only kissed each other.
El sniffed and thought of how to word her answer. “You love what is special,” she said slowly, drawing out each word to try to communicate her thoughts as concisely and accurately as possible.
“Yeah, kid. Yeah, you do,” Steve murmured. El had a feeling Steve loved.
Steve slid his chair closer to her. “I don’t know what I’m the best person to be explaining this,” he admitted. “But love is a lot of things. I can’t really tell you exactly what it is because you have to feel it for yourself,” he tried explaining to a displeased El who wanted a concrete answer instead of a hypothetical. “You want to keep them safe. You trust them. You want to be with them. You care about them. They’re different than everyone else,” he explained. “And there are different kinds of love. I love my mom, for example, because she’s special in a mom sort-of-way.”
He gave El a long moment to reflect.
“And,” Steve continued. “You can love people outside your family, too. Like a special person. They’re just different kinds of love. You do different things with the different kinds of people you love, and the different kinds of love. Do you know what I mean?”
El did.
“Someone you love is one of a kind,” Steve continued. “Like I love my mom because I’ve only got one, and she’s wonderful and special to me.”
El understood. “Okay,” she confirmed, nodding. “I love you, Steve.”
If El thought his eyebrows shot up high after her question this morning, it was still nothing compared to his face now. “Wait, El,” he stuttered and laughed, clearly worried El hadn’t understood his explanation. “I know I’m a kick-ass babysitter, but I’m certainly not a one-of-a-kind Mom-”
“I only have one tutor,” El explained. “I only have one person who teaches me about school and the world so I can go to high school with my friends. You are one of a kind.”
Steve got a funny look in his eyes and he looked to really be paying attention to her. “Geez, well I love you too, kiddo.”
3.
By the time Hopper came back to the house, El was practically jumping on the couch with excitement. It was Friday night and her friends didn’t have school the next morning, which only meant one thing.
Hopper openly laughed at the sight he arrived to - El was dressed in the plaid dress she had purchased with Nancy, hair mingled with a few poorly-woven braids no other kid would wear out of the house, and a huge smile plastered on her face.
“I see you’re ready to get going,” Hopper chuckled at his daughter, and El jumped higher on the couch. “What’s the getup for? I’m sure you’re dressed more than alright for a night of board games.”
El jumped from the couch and spun around until she reached her shoes. “I’m happy,” she said.
Hopper thought his grin couldn’t get any bigger. “Aw, kid, that’s great! What are you happy about?”
El slipped on one boot. “Because I love,” she said plainly, as though it was obvious.
Hopper’s heart stopped, mind scrambling, wondering if she missed a word in her explanation. “You love...your dress?” he suggested, trying to figure out what his daughter meant.
“No. Um, yes. But no, I love. I just love,” she said, spinning around to look him in the eye as though she understood something very simple that he didn’t.
“Hold on...” Hopper trailed off, still confused and now somewhat worried. “What do you love, Ellie?” he prompted, and El reached for her coat, clearly anxious to get to the Wheeler residence, but Hopper’s stern stare caught her attention.
El finally stopped her motions. “A lot,” she answered with a huff, apparently tired of Hopper not understanding. “I love things and people. Like you! I love you, Hop...Dad!” she exclaimed, and Hopper finally got it.
He opened his arms, which El rushed into excitedly. Hopper wasn’t sure if she understood the gravity of the words, but by God, of course he said them back.
He didn’t mention that he never thought he’d hear someone say that to him again.
2.
Karen Wheeler answered the door.
“You must be Chief Hopper’s niece!” she greeted to the girl who she had never seen, but had seen her plenty. El shook hands with the woman and turned around to wave goodbye to her father in the pickup as Karen shut the door.
“The boys are downstairs,” she directed, and El was gone before she finished her statement. Karen thought to herself that the girl’s demeanor mimicked her uncle’s.
El clambered down the steps to be greeted by the faces of Lucas, Dustin, Will, and Max, who were all intensely focused on Dustin dealing out Monopoly money.
“Look who made it!” Will greeted as he got up to give El a hug.
“Hey, El!” Dustin called. “Can you get your boyfriend to get his ass downstairs? He’s gonna be late if he doesn’t finish his homework really soon, and I’m gonna take the racecar whether he likes it or not.”
Although she wished Mike was downstairs right now, El still giggled at the title “boyfriend” - a word that had gradually woven itself as a crucial term in their lives in silence, as though they had their backs turned and when they spun around, it had become commonplace. “No,” El responded simply, and Max laughed.
“Oh, I love you guys!” El remembered to say, and picked up the wheelbarrow as abrupt silence fell over the group.
To the surprise of everyone in the room, including El, although she wasn’t sure why, the small, “Love you too,” that was mumbled back to her came from Lucas. Fiercely protective, badass Lucas who didn’t even like to hold hands with his girlfriend in front of others.
Will couldn’t help but laugh, and he leaned over Dustin to give El another hug. “We love you too, El!” he replied easily. Strong, resilient, kind-hearted Will who had hidden his paralysing fears as best as he could, in order to protect those around him.
Max huffed out something between a choke and a chuckle. “Well, if we’re having one of those moments, love you too, El. Love all you guys,” Max, their strong-willed, witty, intelligent friend added with a blush.
“Well, it looks like we all love each other!” Dustin, ever the nurturing, sensitive, brave soul, exclaimed, and El was wrapped up in a hug before she knew it.
“Wheeler’s missing out on all the love,” Max laughed in the embrace.
1.
By the time Mike finished all the work Karen insisted he complete before joining his friends, Dustin had taken the racecar.
“You ass!” Mike called as he took his seat besides El and counted the Monopoly money, not putting it passed his friends to scam him.
Laughter and taunts and the occasional swear filled the air as the night grew older and the teens’ eyelids grew heavier.
Will fell asleep asleep first, taking up the entire couch despite his smaller frame, but no one was about to disturb him.
Lucas was the next man down - he knocked out on the carpet below the couch, and Max excused herself to join him, citing a need to “keep his skinny arms warm”.
Dustin powered through the night considerably well - only fading when El was in such a lead he knew he could never catch up.
Mike and El watched their friends sleep for a moment, content to take in the safety and calamity of the scene. Until Mike started shifting more weight onto El than she was used to him doing, and she knew he was about done for.
“C’mon, Mike,” she whispered, and the couple crossed the room to crawl under the structure Mike had never taken down. Into the place El and Mike both knew, deep in the recesses of their minds, that they would always come back to.
El lied on her side and Mike slid in next to her, pressing a kiss to her sleepy lips.
“El, I need to tell you something,” Mike murmured, forcing El to make herself stay awake just a bit longer, despite the unconsciousness so close to pulling her away. She nodded and opened her eyes, letting Mike do the talking, enjoying the tickle of his breath on her cupid’s bow.
She could see his eyes through the night, shining despite the lack of light.
All she could think of was how she would follow this boy to the edge of the world.
And when he told her what he had to say, they held each other surrounded by the darkness of the fort in the Wheeler’s basement.
And as El pressed her curls against sleeping Mike’s forehead, El knew she not only loved, but was loved.
Love: You can't write it. You have to feel it.