Chapter Text
Blow after blow, Trini finds herself being knocked down without even managing to lay a finger on her opponent. Still, she’s kept her cool; getting back up each time to not worry her friends who are standing by, ready to intervene if need be.
Trini can feel Kim’s eyes on her, watching every little movement made. One small slip up is something she can’t afford, not when her team and basically the whole world is relying on her. Even with her current condition, Trini’s not planning on giving up anytime soon. She can broken, beaten black and blue until not even her armour can protect her, and Trini will continue to fight.
Most of the urge to defeat Tommi by herself stems from the need to prove that she isn’t as fragile or weak like Rita had claimed, however Trini chooses not to acknowledge this part. She merely focuses on the flame ignited deep beneath all those insecurities — the part of herself that has awakened from seeing her friends overpowered because of her. Their link to the morphing grid has been severed because of Trini’s foolishness. This is her mess to clean up, and she’s going to ensure that whatever’s left of Rita’s energy in the power coin will be destroyed.
The first step is defeating Tommi.
Tommi, who currently isn’t even breaking a sweat under the multiple punches thrown her way. Trini, on the other hand, is beginning to struggle.
There’s that irksome thrumming on her ribs that keeps on appearing and disappearing, as if it’s there to taunt her, surging through her body whenever she thinks that maybe she’s going to land a successful hit. It causes her to falter, for Tommi to then regain the upper hand and knock Trini down within seconds.
Trini returns to her feet like nothing happened and continues, stepping forward to send her balled-up hand in the direction of Tommi’s shoulder, swiftly followed by a roundhouse kick when the other manages to successfully dodge the first move.
Her movement abruptly ceases at the feeling of fingers wrapping around her ankle tightly and squeezing. The armour is useless when it comes to alleviating the pain that’s shooting through her whole leg, giving the impression that if she doesn’t get away soon, she’s going to have to deal with a whole lot more than a few cuts and bruisers.
“Still so weak, yellow. Nothing’s changed since our last encounter.”
Tommi snarls out, her voice sounding so much like Rita’s that Trini’s starting to think that whatever was left of the young teenager is almost completely taken over from the energy sweeping through the coin thanks to the adrift ranger.
It scares her, makes her wonder about the possibility of failure because for the second time, she isn’t strong enough to defeat Rita.
“That’s what you think.” Trini spits out despite the part of her that relatively believes the words that’d been spoken.
She pushes off the ground with her right foot that’s still situated on the surface, flipping her body backwards into the air, sending her heel towards Tommi’s head. The move is effective, thankfully. Allows Trini some breathing room when the other is sent straight to the ground, forced to unclasp the tight hold she has on her foot. Trini only has a few seconds to think about her next move, so she puts as much distance as she can between them.
Tommi’s back up just as Trini’s stepped away, the aura emitting off of her more chilling than before, if possible. The amount of power is overwhelming, suppressing the energy her own coin is giving off, crushing it. Trini feels as if she’s seconds away from suffocating, and yet Tommi is nowhere near her.
Streaks of green is the only thing she can see, the vibrancy of the colour sending her mind into a panic, pulsating wildly, unable to be controlled. It leaves Trini’s sight in a haze, her once clear view of Tommi now nothing but a blur, save for the flecks of green and gold.
Then, there’s a tight clasp around her neck. Fingers digging into her armour, seconds away from cracking the surface and sinking into her skin, eager to leave another set of scars. Tommi’s now in front of her, a wicked smirk staring at her behind the visor, as she pushes into Trini and forces her down into the ground, leaving no leverage.
The anxiety kicks in almost immediately, yet all Trini can do is flail her arms around in hope that the part of her brain which isn’t affected by Tommi’s energy will help her escape her clutches.
So far, there’s nothing; only the desperate gasps for air, her lungs burning at the lack of oxygen, and the mocking laugh from Tommi. Trini’s gaze is still hazy, possibly more dim than before, but she can tell that the other has her helmet pulled back.
“See? I was right. You’re weak, yellow. There’s no point in fighting it.” Tommi snarls, her hands around Trini’s neck tightening. “They’ll be better off without you.”
Trini doesn’t want to believe it. She shouldn’t, not when it isn’t the truth. They need her, as much she needs them, however right now she can’t get herself to listen to what’s being said in her heart. There’s only Tommi’s — Rita’s — words repeating, infiltrating her mind until everything she’s went through with the Rangers is gone.
Not even Kimberly, the girl who has a hold on her heart so tight that if she were to let go suddenly Trini would probably die, can save her now.
Seconds pass and it’s getting harder and harder to breath, the previous feeling of suffocating under Tommi’s power now so close it’s impossible to avoid. The only difference now is this isn’t some hypothetical pressure weighing in from the morphing grid, it’s really happening.
She’s moments away from losing all sensation in her body, from having her lungs completely deprived of the one thing they need.
Behind her, Trini can feel the faint beating hearts of her rangers. Indistinct, but she knows it’s there, warm and comforting in its own strange way. Billy, with his carefree nature, telling her things are going to be okay even when they’re really not; Jason, giving this stern look while trying not to give away the affection hidden beneath his eyes; Zack, constantly teasing her whether it be by lingering glances, or nudges into her side, treating her the most normal she’s ever felt in her lifetime; and Kimberly… always there for her, no matter what. Climbing into Trini’s bedroom after a tough day, with a sheepish smile and caring eyes, open arms. Ready for a night of long embraces, limbs twisted together under the sheets.
The way it grows remote and distant tells her one thing; she’s failed them. She couldn’t beat Rita before, and now she’s failed to redeem herself.
The last thing she sees before complete darkness finally takes over is green, Tommi leering down at her as the little bit of life left in Trini disappears, a familiar voice shouting out her name.
Then, nothing.
———————
For the second time that day, Trini wakes up to the lights in the medical bay. The only difference now is that there’s no Kimberly by her side. In her place, there’s Zack, slumped over the chair with a few cuts and bruises across his face.
“Crazy girl, you’re awake.” The relief seeps through the shakiness of his voice, as he inches closer, genuinely smiling.
Trini strains to turn her head, immediately finding that the movement leaves an uncomfortable pressure on her neck. She sucks in a deep breath, winches and bites her tongue to stop any weak noises from escaping.
Her ego has already taken enough blows the past few days.
“Hey, dude,” she remains where she is, shifts her gaze so that she can still get a good look of Zack. “What happened?”
Zack takes her hand, which is a surprise to both of them. His touch is gentle, reassuring. Most of the time contact between them is anything but. Instead, they constantly roughhouse one another, in the most playful way possible, of course. Trini hardly ever seeks out contact like this with Zack, nor does he ever do the same.
Still, Trini doesn’t pull away. Even if it is unusual to have his rough fingertips grazing along the palm of her hand, she isn’t going to deny him the reassurance.
“You, uh,” Zack clears his throat, like he’s on the verge of crying or something, and that leaves Trini more shocked. “We did it. We beat Tommi. Well, technically Kim did.” The grasp he has around Trini’s hand loosens, pulling away to wave his arms around mindlessly.
“You should’ve seen it. Your girl went absolutely crazy, she almost took Tommi down with one hit!”
Everything comes back to her then; fighting Tommi at the stadium; the pair of hands wrapped around her throat, so eager to drain the life out of her.
No wonder the scars on her neck are burning, as if they’re alive.
The news should be music to her ears, but all Trini can feel is how empty inside she is. How much of a failure she is. Because they beat Tommi, not her. She passed out, after being so sure that she could handle Tommi by herself. She left it up to her friends to pick up the pieces, after being so emotionally and physically drained by the same person.
Trini should be happy, should return the wide grin that’s plastered over Zack’s face, but she can’t bring herself to pretend. Not this time.
Zack notices the lack of response, his simper immediately disappearing and being replaced with a frown instead.
“You should be happy, T. What’s the matter?”
It would be so easy for her to let out all the inner anguish she’s feeling right now to Zack, to let down the wall she’s spent years building and fortifying. For her to share her pain to her best friend, but Trini’s never been brave, not when it involves her own emotions. The barrier she felt crumbling seconds ago builds back up, the facade returning.
“Nothing,” she says, the pointed look she gets from Zack isn’t unnoticed, so she adds, “I am happy, believe me. It’s just my neck still hurts, and I’m exhausted.”
That seems to click some alarm bell inside Zack.
“Oh! Do you need an extra pillow, maybe some painkillers? I don’t know if it’ll work, though, because of our powers, but it’s worth a shot.”
Trini shakes her head, laughs airily at how his demeanour can change so quickly.
“No, I think I just need to rest it off.”
“Right.” Zack nods firmly.
A few seconds pass by with the two idly staring at one another. Trini clears her throat, tilts her head slightly towards the door, hoping Zack will read the hint loud and clear.
He doesn’t. At least not for another minute before it finally sinks in.
“Right, okay. I’ll go tell the others that you’re okay and just need to rest. You stay here and sleep.”
Zack scrunches up his face, stares at Trini like he’s thinking, something he hardly ever does, and she’s seconds away from asking what the hell he’s doing before he leans down, brushing his lips on her forehead in a soft kiss. Murmuring, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
And then he’s gone.
Leaving Trini alone to do anything but sleep.
As soon as the infirmary’s doors are shut, her thoughts immediately go straight to Kimberly and the others. She didn’t even think to ask where they were.
Probably too embarrassed from actually associating with Trini to look her in the face.
Imagining the look on their faces now is almost as painful as trying to turn her head. Their expressions that’ll probably scream ‘you tried and it wasn’t enough, but thanks anyway’ and ‘we don’t really need you anymore’.
Thinking about Kim like that has her stomach aching. Ashamed to even consider herself a Power Ranger.
Trini isn’t sure how long it’s been since Zack left her alone, but listening to the beeping coming from some alien machine with the odd stillness of the ship is driving her mad. She can’t stay secluded in this room for any longer.
It takes another minute before she’s actually able to leave the confines of her room, struggling with each and every step. She’s healing already thanks to the morphing grid, though not quick enough. There’s still that prickling on her ribcage, and her injuries from the night before haven’t faded away, though they are less severe.
Leaning on the wall for support, she comes to a stop at the sound of mumbled voices, coming from the command centre, one whom she recognises as Zack and the other as Kim. Her tone is much softer in comparison to his, and the sound makes Trini’s heart clench.
“…. Are you sure you’re gonna be okay alone? Jason and Billy won’t be long, but I’m still worried.”
“It’s fine, Zack. Tommi can’t do anything to us here, she’s going to be unconscious for a while.”
Even though Trini can’t see Kim’s face, she knows she’s rolling her eyes in that you’re overreacting way. Trini can’t help but smirk a little, however it doesn’t last long as the information that Tommi’s in the ship sinks in.
Zack doesn’t answer.
“Seriously, Zack, go be with your mom. I’ll be okay looking after Trini.”
It’s a silent again, then Zack is making this noise which probably means a reluctant agreement.
That’s the last of their conversation Trini hears before she’s up and at it again, shuffling through the corridors of the ship, making as little noise as possible, until she’s reached the outside cave.
The underlying anxiety of facing her friends is back, low and festering at the back of her mind.
She’s jumping through the pool of water, into the moonlight and fresh air, before it can completely corrupt her.
———————
Outside, under the night sky, Trini almost feels as if she’s free. That there’s nothing waiting for her back at the ship or her house, no consequences of repercussions for being so weak.
That she’ll return to her friends and be accepted for the failure she is. They’ll laugh, and smile, and pull her into an embrace that she’ll try so desperately to escape. And Kimberly will take her hand, give her this smile that makes her eyes crinkle, which Trini adores so much.
But that’s not going to happen.
Whatever imaginary, fairytale ending she has made up in her head isn’t for her. It never has been, no matter how much she tells herself things have changed. Trini’s destined for everything miserable and dark. The yellow power coin burns bright in her hand; another reminder that it’s everything she’s not.
The prickling of tears in her eyes comes as she stares hard, longingly at the coin cupped in her palm.
“Thought I might find you here,”
Kimberly emerges from the trees, smiling so brightly it makes Trini physically hurt. She can only glance her way for a second before looking away, wiping the tears away with her wrist.
There’s nowhere else she’d go, honestly.
This spot gives her the comfort she needs when no one else can give it to her. Trini doesn’t know if it’s because it reminds her of Kim, but there’s a heavy inkling behind it. She came here after finding her with Jason; it only makes sense.
When Trini doesn’t answer, Kim moves to join her on the flat rock. Trini scoots over slightly, because she’s not a jerk, and she brings her knees closer to her chest.
Kim sits and continues to stare at the smaller girl, doesn’t even acknowledge the view of the town and other mountains in front of them.
“How are you feeling?”
There’s nothing but pure concern in her voice.
Trini shrugs. Too afraid to hear the delicacy her own voice has become.
Kim isn’t satisfied by that answer, but she doesn’t push it. Instead, she lets the distant noise from the town fill the gap of silence, a soft breeze of wind coming every now and then.
It’s driving Trini mad not to know what’s going through Kim’s mind at this very second, but there’s also that vague voice telling her she already knows. How she’s thinking about how Trini isn’t needed on the team anymore, and that whatever was between them all those months was only a game.
Somehow, the second one stings more than anything else.
The silence is palpable, so many unspoken things between the two floating around, desperate for attention. Trini doesn’t know where to start, what words to say, so she waits for Kim to be the one to do it.
“…Why did you run?”
Yeah, that wasn’t what she was expecting.
“I didn’t… run.”
It’s the truth, really, in some ways. Technically she didn’t run, but then again, she did.
Trini always runs from her problems, both literally and figuratively. It’s a habit she has to break.
“You did.” Kim insists, turning so she can face Trini instead of the open air.
The firmness in her tone and gaze is unrelenting. Trini can’t even bring herself to disagree as she normally would.
“So? Do you want to tell me why you disappeared from the ship?”
No, she really doesn’t.
“I couldn’t…” Trini starts, stops herself within a few seconds. There’s really no words out there to explain what she’s feeling; the heaviness she has over heart from not being good enough. But Kim’s looking at her with a soft smile, urging her to continue, and somehow it’s enough for her.
“I just — I didn’t want to stick around and listen to you guys tell me that I tried my best with Tommi. It’s not the truth.” She’s already breathless, the tears quickly returning, “I feel so pathetic for not being able to beat her by myself because if it were any one of you, you’d do it without a problem, and I don’t like how you all pretend around me. As if it’s some sort of game and I’m the joke.”
God, she hates how pathetic she sounds. Trini inwardly cringes, squeezes her eyes shut to stop herself from crying, but that doesn’t stop her from continuing.
“I’m so tired of being the weakest one in our team, how I’m always targeted because of it. It happened with Rita, and now it’s happened again. Do you know what the worst thing is?” Trini doesn’t look Kim’s way, though she can feel her gaze burning into her. “You guys have probably realised how much you don’t need me and I’m going to be cast aside. Because honestly, you’d be better off without me. This whole situation is my fault! If my judgement wasn’t so fucking clouded, we wouldn’t be here right now. You and I might’ve stopped dancing around our stupid feelings ages ago if I wasn’t so fucking stupid!”
On either side of Trini, her fingers are digging into the solid surface, subconsciously. She can feel the tips of her digits bleeding, raw and numb. The power coin in her balled up fist is still burning. Kim’s hand is warm and soft against the skin on her wrist. It doesn’t belong there.
“Trini, look at me.”
Reluctantly, she does what she’s been told. Trini can never deny Kim anything. So, she slowly shifts her gaze away from the starry sky and focuses on the girl beside her, instantly getting lost in her chocolate hues.
“First of all, you are an idiot for thinking any of that.”
Trini parts her lips to speak, but Kimberly beats her to it. She holds up her index finger in front of Trini, gesturing for her to keep quiet.
“Let me finish. You said your piece, now it’s my turn.”
She nods.
“Second, none of that is true, Trini. You’re not the weakest. In fact, I’ve always considered you the strongest. Who cares if you weren’t able to beat Tommi? You stood up to her by yourself, and I’m still yet to decide if that’s the bravest, or stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”
Kim smiles at that, even laughs.
“And we’re not going to cast you aside. We need you. We’re not the Power Rangers without you, so you can forget about leaving anytime soon. I don’t know what I’d do without you..”
Her tone drops at the end of her sentence, becoming unsteady. If Trini didn’t know any better, she’d say it sounded like she were seconds away from crying.
Kim isn’t looking at her now, her gaze downcast, as if the small pebble between them is suddenly more interesting. She doesn’t like seeing Kim like this, nor does she enjoy the way that that persistent weight over her heart has increased, like she’s feeling whatever Kim’s going through right now.
It’s enough to prompt Trini to slip the hand on her wrist into her own palm, interlocking their fingers. It’s the right move, because Kim is looking back at her seconds later, but there’s this sad smile on her lips.
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay? That’s a promise.”
Trini doesn’t think she believes it herself, and from the way Kim is shaking her head, she doesn’t either.
“You can’t promise that, Trin. I watched you almost die today. I felt your heart seconds away from stopping. Do you know what that’s like?”
She does, though perhaps not to that extent. Watching Billy fall into the water that night was heart-wrenching, but this was before they genuinely connected to one another, so there was no shared pain sort of thing.
Trini didn’t feel the moment Billy’s heart stopped.
Kim almost did, this time.
“I’m sorry,” Trini says mostly because she doesn’t know what else to say. What will make it right. “I’m so sorry, Kim.” She squeezes Kim’s hand, moves closer for the sake of it.
“It’s not your fault.” Kim’s still shaking her head, returning the squeeze on Trini’s hand. “I — I just don’t want lose you again.”
Again.
Somehow, Trini knows that she isn’t merely talking about her fight with Tommi. It’s about before that. Unintentionally pushing Kim away to the point that they were both hurting, until there was a giant wedge between them. Trini’s still afraid that there’s no going back after everything she’s done, but she knows she has to try.
She didn’t almost die today just to lose the one person she’s ever truly loved.
“You won’t. And I know you don’t want to hear a promise I can’t keep, but this needs to be said. I promise I won’t leave you again, no matter what, okay? You're everything to me, Kim. I can't imagine leaving you for any reason.” Her free hand moves up and cups the curve of Kimberly’s jaw, caressing her thumb along the skin of her cheek. Kim nuzzles softly against her palm. “But if I do leave, you have permission to pull me off another cliff.”
Kim laughs, short and soft, and it makes Trini’s stomach flip on itself. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
She isn’t sure who’s first to lean in, but she knows one of them does and then they’re kissing. It’s sudden, but at the same time, Trini saw it coming from a mile away. Having Kim’s lips pressed against her own feels right, like they were made to fit together.
And, yeah, Trini’s never been the sappy kind, but if someone were to ask her if she believed in soulmates and all that jazz, she’d say yes.
She’s found hers. The kiss alone tells her that, the electricity it sends through her veins only serving as a backup.
Kim pulls away first, leaving their lips inches apart, close enough for Trini to feel her breath.
“I love you,” Trini blurts out, almost subconsciously.
For someone who constantly has to think over what she’s going to say, the words come easy to her.
Kim smiles. She brings her hands up to cup either side of Trini’s face, pulling her into another chaste, sweet kiss.
Mumbling throughout, “I love you, too.”
Trini thinks that nothing else matters in this moment. She has Kimberly Hart, her heart full of nothing but adoration. When the time comes, she’ll deal with the dark corner in her mind, occupied by green and gold, and she won’t be alone to pick up the pieces then.
The moon shines bright high above the two girls, her power coin by her side humming in absolute content.