Chapter Text
It took a lot of time for the pair to figure it out. It's important to know that there is no way they will get back together. Maybe they'll cross paths again, but there's no way to tell for sure. Maybe you only get that lucky once.
When Tom figured things out for himself, he was angry. He could say that he hated her for a while after things ended. But before that, he was wondering where he went wrong. Weren't you supposed to love and support your partner in their time of need? She did lose her job at the time, and it really hurt her. Tom supposed he couldn't blame her for the attitude she took on after. But he was trying to help her, cover some expenses, fly down and see her as often as he could. He just wanted things in their little world to be the least stressful as possible, for both of them.
He just wanted her to be happy, but according to her, that wasn't enough. Or, that's what it looked like at least. It's not like she ever talked about what was on her mind. She was just so closed off, and Tom didn't know why. Maybe someone hurt her in the past, maybe something made her this way. Maybe she was just an asshole with no feelings.
Despite that, Tom still cared for her. He still wanted to be there for her. The rare times she broke down a piece of her wall made everything worth it. Tom thought maybe he would be the one to break her walls entirely. It would take a lot of time, but he was willing to take it.
She wasn't having any of it. At times she would plainly turn him down just because she didn't want to get out of bed that day, making Tom fly to Los Angeles for nothing. Well, he could have gone to see his other friends, but she was the priority, and by that point, his friends weren't speaking to him.
Yeah, Tom sacrificed a lot for her, and she didn't seem to care. He was a fucking idiot for not seeing the break up coming. Things weren't ideal, but they had plenty of time to work on things. She didn't think of it like that, so she left.
Throughout time, he's tried to forgive her, he really has. She probably had some underlying problems that were too painful to talk about. You don't always know what's going on in someone's life, even if you're dating them.
Then, Tom learned that forgiveness is bullshit. Why shouldn't he be angry at her and at himself? Why shouldn't he be hurt by the way she treated him? He knew he deserved better than that! He knew he could find someone who would give what he gave back!
Nowadays, Tom is glad to be free of her, and he wondered why he didn't leave it at the night they met.
As for her, she would agree. Should have left things after the first night. Then she wouldn't have caused him so much pain.
She wasn't sure why she lashed out at nice people, it was a work in progress. There's a voice in her head telling her that these nice people are actually liars and that there's always a catch. That voice was easier to listen to.
Sometimes you just think so lowly of yourself that you can't accept that someone can love or care about you. So you just make them hate you.
Tom made that difficult, which later made her realize how kind and genuine he actually was. He always told her that he could wait, and he was way too understanding and accepting of her stupid self destructive ways. He even paid her rent, something she would never ask of him.
She knew she didn't deserve his kindness. She hardly did a thing for him, and part of that was because she couldn't. She wasn't as privileged as he was, and that was probably something that she didn't like about him.
Sometimes, you're just afraid of commitment, so you try not to get too attached to the other person, and as a result you end up being cold and distant.
Why not break up if you don't want to commit? Well, it's one foot in and one foot out with this girl. She didn't hate Tom, she didn't want to not be with him. She just couldn't join in with what Tom wanted for them. She couldn't think about the plans she had the next day, let alone where she would be a year from now. It was just a tad overwhelming and suffocating.
Therapy is hard. She's had to face her own flaws and try to do something about them. She's starting to realize that maybe hurting other people to keep them away isn't the healthiest thing. She's trying to figure out why she does those things.
The only thing is, even when she's resolved all this bullshit, it's not gonna change what happened with Tom.