Chapter Text
The two tiny hands of baby Teddy stay wrapped around Octavia’s breast long after he has fallen asleep. She cradles him expertly and he molds to her body as if he were made to be there, which really, Clarke supposes, he was. His tiny eyelashes sit like butterfly wings against his tanned skin and he already has a shock of dark hair atop his head. Octavia is smiling down at him and Clarke can see the love in her eyes. Motherhood has made her glow, like the sort of instagram mother who takes sunlit pictures of her baby in perfectly rumpled bedsheets. Clarke can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy, which she tells herself is because she can’t help but compare Lincoln and Octavia to her own rowdy brood at home.
“You made such a cutie O,” Raven is leaning over Octavia, gazing down at Teddy with soft eyes.
“I know right,” Octavia runs a tender finger down his tiny cheek. “He’s fucking gorgeous.” Her cheeks heat and her eyes dart up, “shit, fuck, okay don’t tell Lincoln that I just swore in front of Teddy, he’ll kill me.”
Raven looks up at her, smirking. “Why?”
Octavia rolls her eyes, “He thinks Teddy will pick up on it.”
“Really?” Clarke laughs quietly from her seat in the armchair in Lincoln and Octavia’s little house. “He’s three months old!”
“I know, I know,” Octavia shrugs, and glances down at Raven, “Yo, you want to maybe back off my boobs a bit?”
Raven grins, but moves away, settling back into the couch beside Octavia. “You’re the most domestic of us all now y’know. A baby and a husband? You’re basically old.”
“Fuck off,” Octavia wrinkles her nose at Raven, but her voice is still soft, mindful of the sleeping infant in her arms. “Clarke has three kids, basically!”
“Yeah,” Clarke leans back in the armchair, grinning and takes a sip of the wine glass in her hands. “My life is just a stream of lunch bags and homework nowadays, it’s good to do stuff like this.”
“Yeah,” Octavia eyes the wine glass in her hands miserably. “I can’t wait until Teddy stops breastfeeding, no one tells you that the whole not drinking thing lasts beyond birth.”
“Can I hold him?” Clarke puts down the wine glass and holds out her arms as Octavia nods. The brunette fastens her top back up and stands slowly. Carefully, she settles her baby into Clarke’s arms and Clarke doesn’t miss the way her hands hesitate for just a second before letting him go.
There’s something so soothing about the warm weight of a baby in her arms and she smoothes a hand over his head. It reminds her of when Tris was still a baby, falling asleep in her arms every night, barely being set down. A pang aches through her heart, something between longing and love and she has to take a breath before she’s able to say, as nonchalantly as she can.
“You might not be the only domestic one soon O. I’m going to ask Lexa to marry me.”
“What?” Octavia’s voice spirals up, so loud that she startles Teddy awake. The baby twists in Clarke’s arms, his tiny face crumpling into a wail and Octavia’s expression immediately falls. “Oh baby, oh I’m sorry,” She reaches out to take him from Clarke’s arms, cradling him carefully until he finally settles into silence again.
“You’re asking her to marry you?” Raven asks, more quietly, grinning. “That’s amazing Clarke.”
“Yeah, at last oh my god.” Octavia rocks the baby in her arms, unable to control her smile. “Lincoln and I were taking bets.”
“What? Why wasn’t I included?” Raven rounds out her, outraged and Octavia shrugs.
“It’s a married thing.”
“Ugh,” Raven scoffs, disgusted. “You’d better not become like this when you’re married Clarke, or I’m gonna have to find new friends.”
“I haven’t even asked her yet and anyway, we won’t get married until Anya gets out.”
“Really?” Octavia frowns, “Why? Was that her idea or yours?”
Clarke hesitates, reaching for her wine glass so that she has something for her restless hands to hold onto. “Actually,” She speaks slowly, “It was my idea. I know that Lexa won’t want to get married without Anya, she’s really her only family. It doesn’t seem fair to do it without her.”
“But…” Raven exhcanges a glance with Octavia, “Isn’t Anya not getting out for another two years?”
“Yeah,” Clarke tucks her hair behind her ear, “But some people take that long to plan a wedding anyway, so it doesn’t really matter right?”
There is a moment of silence and she tries not to notice Octavia and Raven looking at each other again. Her skin tingles with awkwardness, a churning in her stomach as she studiously directs her gaze to the baby in Octavia’s arms.
It’s Raven that gets up the courage to speak first, with optimism that rings a little false. “Of course!” Her voice picks up a little and her smile turns into a little smirk. “How are you going to do it?”
The tension in Clarke’s shoulders unwinds a little. “We’re going to go hiking, taking the whole family for a camping trip,” Raven snorts inelegantly and Octavia sniggers, cocking an eyebrow, and Clarke feels a flush of annoyance. “What?” She demands.
“It’s just… hiking?” Octavia asks, biting down on her grin.
“With the kids?” Raven adds, her smirk now spreading to arch up her cheeks.
“It’ll be romantic!” Clarke splutters, but her words are barely believable even to herself. “And… cute. The kids will go to bed and I’ll ask her under the stars.”
“And then you’ll what? Have sex in a tent?” Raven doesn’t stop herself from laughing this time, throwing her head back to cackle and Clarke pries the cushion from behind her back to hurl it at Raven.
“Hey!” Raven’s head appears, rumpled, “There’s a baby in here and apparently he’s very impressionable.”
They all break into a chorus of laughter, quietening only when Teddy starts to stir again. Octavia rises, tucking the soft blanket back around Teddy’s form and cradling him close. Her eyes are tender when she looks down at him.
“I should probably put him down for his nap,” She pauses, glancing up at Clarke with unusual softness. “It doesn't matter how you ask her, y’know? She’ll say yes.”
“Thanks O,” Clarke watches her go with a sudden pang of gratitude, until the door closes behind her and Raven says.
“Do you think you and Lexa will ever have kids?”
“What?” Clarke’s brows furrow and she twists in her seat, frowning at where Raven is tucking on leg beneath herself on the couch. “Why would you… I don’t…”
“C’mon Clarke, I can see the way you look at Teddy,” Raven cocks her head, “You’re feeling broody.”
“With three kids already at home?” Clarke scoffs, trying not to sound as anxious as she feels. “I don’t think we could even fit a baby in.”
“Obviously not yet,” Raven’s gaze is unwavering, settling on her skin. “But someday?”
“I mean yeah…” She swallows, her gaze fixed to a spot on the carpet next to Raven’s feet and she doesn’t even realise that she’s started to smile until she continues. “Yeah someday.”
---
“Hey!” She calls out as she steps through the door, unwinding her scarf from around her neck. The house is aglow with light and there’s a pleasant smell of lasagne lingering from the kitchen. Poking her head through the living room door, she finds The Princess Diaries playing in the corner and Miya and Lexa sat on the couch. Miya has a wine glass filled with Ribena, as does Lexa, and they are laughing together as Lexa carefully paints Miya’s toenails with a shiny purple varnish.
“Whoa, you guys are having a pamper night without me?”
Lexa looks up and smiles at her, as Miya beams. “Miya got 95% on her science test today, we’re celebrating.”
“Wow!” Clarke’s eyes widen, swinging to regard the little girl, who is flushing with pleasure under the attention of both adults. “Well done darling. Can I join in?”
“Yes!” Miya bounces up and down with excitement and Lexa chides her.
“Miya! You’ll make me spill it.”
“Whoops,” Miya comes to a quick stop, her smile turning sheepish and Clarke laughs.
“Okay I’ll be back in a minute. Are there leftovers?”
“Dish in the fridge, love.” Lexa doesn’t look up from Miya’s toes.
Padding her way into the kitchen, Clarke catches sight of Comet lifting his head to watch her from his doggy bed pushed up in the corner. His eyes follow her across the room, but he doesn't stand when she approaches to pat him on the head, scratching behind his ears just as he likes.
“Long day huh?” She grins at him. “Me too.”
He settles his head back on his paws as she heads to the fridge and she pulls it open to find the promised dish of leftovers, wrapped in foil with a yellow sticky note on top that says 10 mins in the microwave with a curly little heart tacked onto the end. It makes her smile, fingers following the curve of the post-it note before she pulls off the foil and puts the dish in the microwave. As it heats, she pauses in front of the fridge, gaze caught by the photo stuck to the fridge with a magnet. It’s a little worn now, soft around the edges, but she can still clearly see the tiny figure of Tris as a new born, held in Anya’s arms. Miya, only a few years old, is squished in beside Anya to look at her new sister and Aden is peering down from above them. The gleam in Anya’s eyes is so like the expression she’d seen on Octavia’s face earlier that evening that she feels a panging ache deep in her heart. The beeping of the microwave draws her from her reverie, and she pulls in a sigh as she grounds herself again.
Dinner in hand, she makes her way into the lounge and settles onto the armchair close to Miya and Lexa. “How’s the pampering going guys?”
“Good,” Lexa looks up at her, eyes narrowing a little and points the nail varnish brush in her direction accusingly. “Did you heat that for ten minutes?”
“Yes,” Clarke rolls her eyes exaggeratedly in Miya’s direction and the little girl giggles even as Lexa goes back to her toes. “Where’s Tris?”
“In bed, all settled,” A self-satisfied smile lingers on Lexa’s lips, but it drops when Clarke asks.
“And Aden?”
Lexa’s eyes leave Miya’s toes as she carefully replaces the brush in the pot. “He’s with his friend Charlie.”
“Charlie? Do we know Charlie?”
“I don’t think so,” Lexa’s brows crease, “Unless Charlie is that one with the…” She taps her nose and Clarke grins.
“No, that was Bart.” Her eyes flicker to the watch still on her wrist, “Cutting it close to curfew.”
“I know,” Lexa’s lips purse and she looks back to Miya’s toes, holding out the brush again. “Right then you, ready for the final toe?”
“Yeah!” Miya wriggles her toes, excited and Clarke smiles as she watches them.
“Well done with your science test Miya,” She says, taking a big bite of her lasagne as Lexa paints Miya’s baby toenail with one little dab of purple.
“Thanks,” Miya beams, “I got the best grade in the class!”
“Really?” Clarke’s smile widens, “Well done baby, all of your studying paid off.”
“Can I paint your nails Clarke?” Miya asks, eagerly and Clarke glances at Lexa, who’s grinning.
“She did mine already,” Lexa pulls her foot out from beneath herself to show the smudged pink paint covering her toes.
“Wow,” Clarke hopes her voice doesn’t falter, but at the way Lexa’s grin widens her uncertainty must show on her face.
“Come on Clarke, I know you hate painting your own toenails.” Lexa smirks at her and Clarke’s eyes narrow for a moment before her expression smooths out and she smiles at Miya.
“Sure you can kiddo, got any blue?”
---
Aden slopes into the house only a few minutes before his 10pm curfew and Clarke exchanges a glance with Lexa from where she’s sat with Miya, who is halfway through painting her second set of nails a colbalt blue. He hesitates in the living room doorway, noticing them and pushes his hands into his pockets, sheepishly.
“Hey,”
“Hi kiddo,” Lexa is trying hard to sound nonchalant, her eyes only barely glancing up from the magazine in her lap. “Good time at Charlie's?”
“Yeah, it was good.” Aden shrugs, flicking through his phone.
“And how was school?” Clarke pipes up from the couch and Aden drags his gaze up to meet hers for a moment, conjuring a faint smile.
“Yeah, good.”
Clarke waits for a moment for him to expand, but when no more information is forthcoming she says. “Okay, cool. Well, glad you had a good day.” She glances uncertainly at Lexa for a moment, but then continues, “Hey, so while we have you both here, Aunt Lexa and I were thinking about going away this weekend. It’s your first weekend of spring break, we thought we could all go camping, what do you think?”
“Yeah!” Miya perks up from where she was concentrating on Clarke’s nails, so excited that she almost knocks over the bottle of nail polish. “Can I take my camera?”
“Of course,” Lexa smiles at her, “We’re counting on you to document the whole thing y’know.”
“Camping?” There’s a note of annoyance in Aden’s voice. “This weekend? I-I can’t.”
“You can’t?” Lexa’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why?”
Aden shifts, awkwardly and Clarke’s expression creases as he frowns at them. “Can’t I just have plans?”
“Well I’m afraid you’ll just have to reorganise Aden, we’re going camping together, as a family, okay?”
He gapes at them for a moment, disbelieving, and Clarke feels herself soften a little.
“What are you going to miss? Is there something going on to do with school? Or baseball?”
Aden struggles for words for a moment, before snapping his mouth shut and saying through gritted teeth. “No, you know what, fine. It doesn’t even matter.” He turns on his heel and marches upstairs, his feet pounding on the stairs with the unmistakable timbre of a furious teenager.
Clarke’s eyes meet Lexa’s and her love looks exactly as shellshocked as she feels. It’s unusual for Aden to act out like that, malleable soul that he usually is, and the confrontation has left a sour taste in Clarke’s mouth that she doesn’t like.
“Well,” Miya breaks the silence between them with a huff that reminds Clarke of Lexa, “I want to go. Don’t worry, Ali says Aden’s just being a normal teenager, she has two older sisters. I’m done!” She put her brush back carefully and motions to Clarke’s feet with a flourish.
“Oh wow,” Clarke peers down at her toes and bites back a smile, “Wow, thank you Miya, they’re beautiful.” The toes are far from it, with blue smudges across her skin and strange, clumped patches of varnish.
Lexa is smirking as she stands and touches Miya’s shoulder softly. “Right then, bedtime I think. It’s late.” Miya’s face crumples and Lexa quickly adds. “How about I put you to bed tonight, hm?”
“Okay,” Miya perks up and clambers off the couch, darting to Clarke to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Night Clarke!”
“Night sweetheart,” Clarke watches her go with a little smile, glancing up at Lexa when she pauses in the doorway.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Green eyes flicker to the end table and she grins, “The remover pads are over there, by the way.”
Clarke lets out a relieved breath. “Thank god.”
---
When Lexa returns, she finds two glasses of white wine on the coffee table and Clarke leaning over her feet, carefully tidying up the smudges around her toes. The living room smells of the scented candle they lit earlier in the night, a soft vanilla with an undertone of acetone and cosmetics. In the background 27 Dresses burbles away to itself, but they are far from watching it and Lexa pauses in the doorway to watch Clarke huff quietly and tuck a long strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Her cheeks are pink in the warm room and she has changed into a slouchy tank top, her bra long gone, and pyjama shorts that show her long legs. She looks impossibly beautiful in the most mundane way and as Lexa crosses the living room to sit beside her, she feels a pang of affection in her heart.
“This is an upgrade,” She reaches for the wine glass and Clarke looks up to smile at her.
“I figured you might want some of the real stuff. It’s just a tease holding wine glasses without any actual wine in them.”
“This is why I love you,” Lexa tells her, groaning softly when she takes her first sip of wine.
“Oh really?” Clarke grins at her, settling her back into the arm of the couch and stretching out her legs experimentally, until her toes tickle Lexa’s thighs. “Well, you know if you really loved me you would help me get this stuff off my toes.”
“Seriously?” Lexa arches an eyebrow, glancing between Clarke and her feet.
“Remember who brought you wine?” Clarke counters and then, when Lexa’s expression doesn't falter, she switches to pleading. “C’mon, I think the fumes are making me light headed.” She throws herself back into the couch with a dramatic flourish and Lexa can’t help but laugh, taking hold of her ankle to draw Clarke’s foot into her lap.
“God you’re so over dramatic.” She takes the varnish remover and begins cleaning up the messy paint job. “So how were O and Raven?”
“They’re good,” Clarke relaxes back into the couch, grabbing her wine to have a long sip. “They say hi.”
“And how’s the baby?” Lexa can’t help but smile, “I can’t believe she and Lincoln are parents now.”
“Teddy is perfect,” There is a softness to Clarke’s voice that makes her pause, glancing at her love from beneath her eyelashes, but then Clarke laughs and the softness is hidden beneath her joking. “I don’t think they can believe that they’re parents either. Lincoln is sure that Octavia’s cursing is going to rub off on the baby.”
“Well, they do start to pick things up pretty early,” Lexa agrees, her attention focused on Clarke’s feet. She startles back when Clarke jerks her foot a little, looking up with an affronted expression. “Hey!”
“Oh shut up, it doesn’t matter if you curse in front of a three month old.”
“So you’d risk it with our kid?” The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them and she immediately shuts her mouth with a click. There is silence for a moment, hovering between them as if it lingers on their skin, suffocating, smothering the jovial atmosphere from the room.
“So… you’d want kids?” Clarke is the one brave enough to break the silence and Lexa takes a moment to pull in a breath, thinking seriously before she answers.
“Maybe… a long way in the future. At the moment though, we have the kids to think of. These kids.”
“Yeah, of course,” There is a tentative hesitancy to Clarke’s words that is unusual. “But someday yeah?”
“Someday.” Lexa agrees quietly, running a hand down Clarke’s foot and squeezing comfortingly.
It seems to bring Clarke back to herself, because she gives another grin and digs through her pockets for her phone. “Want to see some pictures of Teddy?” At Lexa’s nod, she scrolls through her camera roll and Lexa can’t help but smile over the pictures of the tiny baby, his face still scrunched up and his fists curled like a bud about to unfurl its petals. There is a picture that gives her pause, however, of Clarke with Teddy in her arms. In her eyes is that soft tenderness that she noticed before and it makes her heart skip, though she can’t quite tell why.
---
“Hey An.” Lexa juggles the phone and her cappuccino in her hands, struggling to balance her cell between her ear and her shoulder whilst not spilling the hot, dark liquid all over herself. “How are you?”
“Pretty good thanks,” Behind her, Lexa can hear the sound of bustling people and lively conversation. “What about you? How’re the kids?”
“They’re good,” Lexa finally manages to put her coffee cup in the holder between the two front seats and pulls out her car key. Grabbing her bag from the passenger seat, she swings herself out of the car into the cool, early spring air as she continues, “I’m just picking Tris up from her swim club.”
“Swim club?” Anya’s voice ticks up in surprise and something close to annoyance. “I didn’t know she did that.”
Lexa hesitates, her feet slowing a little as she walks across the small parking lot. “She only started in the past few weeks. Sorry, I must have forgotten to tell you.”
“Don’t worry about it Lex,” Anya's voice has shifted back to her usual nonchalant interest. “These kids have so many clubs, I can’t remember them all. Anyway,” There is a slight change in her voice, a shift that Lexa hears but can’t quite identify. “Anything new to tell me? Anything interesting happened to you recently?”
“No,” Lexa frowns as she pushes open the door to the pool and spies Tris. The little girl is surrounded by friends, laughing and squealing, in the midst of some big game. Tris sees her and Lexa waves, but lets the girl have a few more moments with her friends as she talks to her mother. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Anya’s usually cool tone doesn’t falter, but Lexa can’t shake the unsettled feeling from her stomach. “Are you with Tris? Let me talk to my kid, find out about this new skill.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t call it a skill just yet,” Lexa laughs as Tris runs over with her armbands held tightly in her hands.
“Aunty Lexa guess what!” Tris hops around her, excited, “I swam without my floaties today! Ask Miss Chloe, she’ll tell you.”
“Don’t worry baby, I believe you.” She smiles, “You know who else would like to know? Your mom, she’s on the phone, you want to talk to her?”
“Yeah!” Tris beams and Lexa hands over the phone carefully, prying the armbands from Tris’s hands. Her hair is straggly and it desperate need of a comb and hair band, but they have a stop to make on their way home. Both of Tris’s hands are occupied with holding the phone, her swim bag having been unceremoniously dumped at Lexa’s feet, so Lexa takes the bag in one hand and puts the other on Tris’s shoulder to guide her carefully across the parking lot.
When they arrive at the car Tris pulls the phone away from her face and says. “Can we get ice cream? I’m starving.”
“We’re going to Octavia and Lincoln’s on our way home,” Lexa reminds her, “I’m sure they’ll have something if you ask them very nicely. Are you done talking to your mom?”
“Oh, yeah.” Tris nods, holding the phone back out in offering, but Lexa shakes her head.
“Say goodbye and tell her you love her, please.”
“Bye momma,” Tris says into the phone, “Love you.” She hands the phone back to Lexa and her aunt sighs.
“Sorry,” She says into the phone, “She’s been distracted by the prospect of ice cream.”
“You were exactly the same,” Anya laughs, but there is a note of sadness to her voice. “I’ll let you guys get on. Talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay. Love you.”
“You too, give the kids a hug from me?”
“Always do,” Lexa promises and puts the phone in her pocket. Tris is waiting impatiently at the door and Lexa moves to help her clamber in and fasten her securely into the child seat. Tris doesn’t often get to talk to her mom on her own, but it’s not often that the five year old’s attention can be held. It weighs heavily on Lexa’s mind that the girl probably doesn't remember her mother in any place other than the prison visiting room, in a jumpsuit.
“Remember what we said about talking to people on the phone?” She reminds the little girl as she gets into the front seat.
“You have to say bye bye.” Tris tells her and then continues, barely taking a breath. “Why are we going to see Aunty O?”
“We’re going to borrow a tent from her, for camping.” Lexa glances into the rear view mirror and sees Tris’s face light up. “You remember those camping songs Clarke and I taught you?”
The trip to Octavia and LIncoln’s is filled with rowdy recitals of various camping songs and by the time they arrive both niece and aunt are quite out of breath, with sore throats and happy faces.
“Are you excited to go camping?” Lexa asks as she helps Tris out and Tris nods enthusiastically.
“I wanna go swimming in the lakes!”
“Well,” Lexa falters a little, “Maybe you can, if it’s warm enough and we find any clean lakes.”
“Yay!” Tris speeds off towards the front door of the little house as it swings open and Lincoln appears.
The broad man smiles down at them and cradled against his front is the tiny bundle of blankets and squirming limbs that makes Lexa’s heart feel soft. Teddy is wriggling and when he twists, big eyes stare out at Lexa with the sort of curiosity she remembers in Tris’s eyes when she was a baby.
“Hey, you’re here just in time.” Lincoln’s gaze turns down to Tris and the little girl preens under his attentions. “How you doing Tris? Good time at swim practice?”
“Yeah!” Tris bounces eagerly on the porch, “I swimmed without my floaties, right Aunt Lexa?” Tris turns to peer expectantly up at her and Lexa smiles as she joins them on the porch.
“You swam, and yes you did.”
“Well that’s awesome,” Lincoln sweeps a big hand back to welcome them into the cosy little wooden house, “Sounds to me like you deserve a reward,” His big eyes sparkle conspiratorially and Tris is practically vibrating with excitement beside her. “You know where the cookie jar is right?”
“Yeah!” Tris darts into the house, under Lincoln’s arm and Lexa watches her go with a pang of despair, calling uselessly.
“Say thank you Tris! And just one cookie!” She turns her gaze on Lincoln and her frown turns disapproving. “You are a terrible influence.”
Lincoln just laughs her off and ushers her inside, closing the door behind her as she steps into their living room, where plants cover every available surface. Through the archway she can see Tris taking two cookies out of the jar in the kitchen, one already hanging from her mouth and resigns herself to dealing with that later.
“Well, at least you can enact revenge now,” Lincoln’s smile is tender and Lexa feels her worry fade away when her focus is once again drawn to the baby.
“He’s so much bigger,” She can’t look away from Teddy, “It’s only been a week or two.”
“He’s got a lot of growing to do yet,” When Lexa hums her agreement he offers Teddy out, the baby now calm. “Do you want to hold him?”
“Yes please,” Lexa happily accepts the warm bundle of baby into her arms. There is something endlessly comforting about holding him and her arms slot automatically around his body, the gestures known from years of taking care of the children that are now her charges. Teddy blinks up at her, his mouth agape to show tiny, empty gums and Lexa can feel the smile growing over her lips, her voice dropping to a low murmur when she speaks. “Hi baby, you’ve been doing some growing, huh?”
Lincoln gestures to the kitchen and through the window Lexa can see their small backyard and she notices for the first time the tent towering in the middle of the yard, surrounded by people. Aden is holding up a tent pole with a curious expression and Clarke is saying something and gesturing dramatically at the tent. “They’re doing pretty good.”
Lexa is less optimistic and her voice is dripping with skepticism when she asks. “How long have they been out there?”
A beat of silence passes between them before Lincoln says, resigned. “An hour.”
Lexa laughs, shaking her head and rocking the baby as Tris turns and says, chocolate and crumbs smeared on her face. “Can I go out? I wanna help them!”
“Sure,” Lexa watches her rush out into the backyard before turning to Lincoln and saying, no small amount of exasperation in her voice. “I told Clarke we should just try to get a cabin.”
Lincoln laughs and together they move to the kitchen window to watch. “I think she wants the most authentic experience possible.”
“Authentic or not, it won’t be fun if the tent collapses and we get eaten by a bear.”
The back door swings open again and Clarke appears, leading a procession of sweaty, tired looking troops behind her. She is beaming victoriously, but she stops short when she sees Lexa, her eyes widening and Lexa feels the hair on her neck prickle pleasantly, just as it always does when she feels like she has Clarke’s undivided attention.
It is Miya who announces their victory. “We did it!”
“Yeah, after hours,” Aden grumbles, his phone already in his hands and his thumbs tapping over the screen.
“Congratulations,” Lexa forces herself to say and it seems to snatch Clarke back into the real world because she blinks and the smile that spreads over her face is large and genuine, with a shadow of tenderness that Lexa can’t quite explain. As Clarke approaches, she offers a smile, “Hey, well done.”
“Thanks,” Clarke moves to stand next to her, her eyes still fixed to Lexa and a flutter of doubt enters Lexa’s mind.
“What? What is it?”
“Nothing,” Clarke shakes her head and her eyes flicker down for a moment, but the glance is so fast that Lexa doesn’t even know where she’s looking. “I just love you.”
“Oh,” Lexa’s tension melts away and she can’t fight the wide smile spreading her lips, tilting them upwards. “Oh. I love you too.” Clarke leans in and she happily meets her lips to kiss her gently. It’s like coming home, the familiar scent of toothpaste and Clarke’s perfume, but then her nose wrinkles. “God, you stink of sweat.”
Clarke pulls away, her mouth falling open and her voice spiralling upwards in protest. “Sorry that making a shelter for this family is hard work okay?” Lexa glances outside and, as if the world is playing a joke on them, a breeze flutters the tent, it quivers and the whole thing collapses with a terrific thump. “Fu- flip.”
---
“Is there going to be electricity there?” Is Aden’s demand when he skids around the corner from the kitchen into the hall. He’s so abrupt and unexpected that Clarke has to pause and unravel herself from where she’s sat at the kitchen table methodically going through their travel first aid kit for the final time. She blinks at him for a moment and Aden stares at her, expectant and agitated.
“Probably not?” She answers, at last and then, at seeing his face crumple, “But you have your portable charger and you can charge it if we use the car.”
Aden looks at her for a moment, as if considering whether the argument is worth it and then sighs heavily, looking dejectedly skyward. “Just kill me now.” He mutters and turns on his heel to slope away down the hall.
Clarke can’t help but grin, calling after him. “Put your shoes on! We’re leaving in a minute.”
Lexa appears around the corner and collars Aden just as he disappears.
“Once you’ve got your shoes on can you come and help me and Miya with the tent?”
Aden just grumbles, but Clarke is sure he’ll listen and looks back up at where Lexa is leaning against the back of the kitchen chair. Her eyes follow as Lexa pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, the sleeves of her plaid shirt falling down around her elbow.
Lexa quirks an amused eyebrow at her, “What are you staring at?”
Unashamedly, Clarke lets her eyes roam down her girlfriend’s body, taking in her skin-tight leggings and when she finally reaches Lexa’s face, her expression is almost comically exasperated and a tiny giggle escapes Clarke.
“You should go hiking more often.” She gives a smirk that is so dirty it makes Lexa flush and she stands a little straighter, clearing her throat and saying.
“I do, you’re just not often there.”
“Touche,” Clarke mutters, then continues more clearly, “How’s it going? Is the car almost loaded?”
“Nearly done,” Lexa blows out a sigh and her face creases with worry, “I meant to ask you, is there supposed to be a separate bag of tent pegs? Because I can’t see one with the normal bag?”
Clarke’s fingers pausing where she’s absent mindedly winding bandages, “I don’t know, I’ll finish this and then call O to ask. She and Lincoln are in all day anyway, so we can always stop by to grab the pegs if we’re missing them.”
“Okay,” Lexa rounds the table to press a kiss to her lips, and laughs when Clarke chases her as she pulls away. “I don’t know why you don’t just stick to the stuff that comes in it originally,” She adds, glancing at the first aid box and Clarke rolls her eyes.
“I’ve told you, the bandages are subpar, there’s barely anything for anti inflamation-”
“Okay, okay,” Lexa holds up her hands and gives a small, cheeky smile which lights up her eyes and takes Clarke’s breath away. “I believe you doctor.”
Clarke shakes her head, throwing a spare band aid at Lexa as she goes back to the car and listens to her laugh. She turns back the band aids, counting them out carefully and sliding them into their slot in the red box. Her fingers run over the boxes and bandages, taking note of everything they have, before she shuts the lid. The pattering of several pairs of feet herald the entrance of both Tris and Comet into the room and she gives the little girl a big smile. Tris has been so excited about the trip that’s she’s told everyone they’ve met in the last few days, including the mail man and every person in the bank.
Tris is wearing her fluffy, blue coat and sneakers already, her little ladybug backpack on her back and she bounces up to where Clarke is sitting, looking up at her pleadingly. Comet follows along loyally behind her, his tail wagging with the excitement of a house in turmoil.
“When are we going?” Tris leans against her knees, looking up at her with wide blue eyes and Clarke sighs, patting her head appeasingly.
“Very soon, I promise. Do you want to do something to help?”
“Yeah!” Tris perks up immediately and Clarke continues, standing to guide her into the hallway, where Aden is pulling on his shoes at the bottom of the stairs and Miya is fiddling with her jacket.
“Go into the living room and get my phone from my backpack, okay? I have to call Octavia.”
“Okay!” Tris beams, bouncing away into the living room with Comet hot on her heels.
Clarke has to step around the bags still littering the hallway to get to where Miya is struggling. “What’s up honey?”
“I can’t… get my jacket…” Miya grunts with the effort, looking up at Clarke as she drops the jacket in her frustration. “It’s stuck.”
“Let me see,” Clarke kneels down in front of her, peering at the locked zipper and tugging on it a little.
“I can’t go without my jacket,” Miya complains, her lip jutting out and Clark hurries to soothe her.
“You won’t have to,” Lexa steps into the hallway behind them and she calls for support, “Miya won’t have to go without her jacket, will she Lexa?”
“She might if we don’t have room, why do we have so much stuff?” Lexa gestures around the hallway gloomily.
“She’s kidding,” Clarke rolls her eyes, “Don’t worry Miya.”
“It’s Miya’s fault we have so much stuff anyway,” Aden mutters grumpily from the stairs and Miya twists to scowl at him, pulling her jacket from Clarke’s reach, her voice hitching up angrily.
“That’s not true!”
“It is!” Aden snaps as Clarke hurries to shuffle around and get to the jacket again as Lexa’s phone starts to ring. “You had to bring all of your books!”
“Yeah well you’ve brought your guitar even though you’re a crumby player!”
“Miya!” Clarke scolds, her brows tightening, “That wasn’t nice, both of you stop arguing. There’s plenty of room.”
“Everyone be quiet for a second!” Lexa’s voice takes them all by surprise, loud and clear, and everyone falls into shocked silence, turning almost like marionettes to look at her. Lexa’s eyes stay focused to a spot somewhere in the middle distance as she listens, her face drawn in concentration until her expression suddenly unfurls into a smile. “Really?” She asks, sounding breathless. “You’re sure? That’s- that’s so wonderful! That’s amazing!” She listens for a moment, “Yes, yes I’ll do it now, they’re all here.”
She pulls the phone away, blinks for a moment and her eyes focus on them as if she’d forgotten they were there. “That was your mom,” Her voice breaks, but her smile is so wide it’s hard to register it, “She says she’s had an appeal trial and… she’s being released early. Next week.”
There is a moment of shocked silence, stretching out like whiteness between them all. Clarke exists in the emptiness, hearing but not processing, and they are all suspended, pure and joyful and utterly shocked, until finally Miya croaks.
“Momma’s coming home?”
Tears slide down Lexa’s cheeks and she nods slowly, her smile so wide that Clarke fears she will crack her jaw. Miya pulls herself from Clarke’s now limp grasp and barrels into Lexa, wrapping her arms around her aunt’s waist. From where she’s knelt, Clarke can hear her murmuring, over and over again “momma’s coming home” as if convincing herself that it’s true. Lexa tightens one arm around her body, the other coming up to cradle her head and her dazed, joyous eyes flicker to Clarke, before landing on Aden.
“You okay?” She manages, and Clarke follows her gaze to where the boy is sitting, silent and still.
Aden stares at them all for a moment and then a grin spread across his face and Clarke manages to make her frozen limbs work long enough that she can breach the few paces between them and touch gently at his shoulder. It seems to be what Aden needs because the tension slides from his body and he lolls into Clarke, bonelessly.
“Your mom is coming home, Aden.” She squeezes his shoulder. “Did she say when?”
“Soon,” Lexa replies and she still sounds so shell shocked, “The next two weeks, she had her trial for early release today.”
“Why didn’t she say anything?” Aden demands, finally coming to his senses.
“She didn’t want to get our hopes up,” Lexa shrugs, her smile watery, as Tris trots into the room again.
“I got your phone Clarke! And this!” She holds up the phone triumphantly, but Clarke’s eyes are fixed to the little black box in her other hand. Her stomach drops, panic rushing through her veins and she veers forward, but Tris is already waving it around. “It’s so pretty! What is it?”
“Thank you Tris, I can-” She swipes the box from the little hand, but Lexa’s voice makes her blood run cold.
“What is that, Clarke?”
“Nothing,” Her words are too hurried, her cheeks heating up to the colour of red spring apples and Lexa’s brows narrow, curious and unsure. “It’s- really it’s nothing.”
“It’s a ring!” Tris tells her aunt happily, “All sparkly and pretty, I looked at it!”
“A ring?” Lexa’s eyes spin to her and Clarke feels as if she’s about to collapse, her heart rate is so high.
“She- she wasn’t meant to see that.” Is all she can say, and her voice is trembling, the eyes of everyone in the room fixed to her.
“Is it a…” Lexa can’t even seem to be able to say the word, “Were you going to…?”
“I- yes- on the trip. Fuck.” She rubs a hand over her eyes, cursing when she realises it’s the one still holding the ring.
“You aren’t meant to say that word.” Tris supplies, helpfully, but Aden shushes her.
“That’s why you wanted to go camping.” Lexa is staring at her as if she’s the only person in the room and she can feel herself quivering.
“I thought it would be romantic,” She stuff the ring in her pocket, where it forms a gawdy, awkward square, almost more obvious than when it was in her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to all come out now.”
“Ask me.”
The world stops turning for a second and she can feel every moment of it. “W-What?”
“Ask me.” Carefully, Lexa disentangles herself from Miya, and takes a step forward around their wayward bags.
“This isn’t how I meant to do it.” Clarke answers helplessly and Lexa gives her an amused, tearful look.
“When did we ever do things the way we meant to?”
It forces a surprised chuckle from her throat and she stares at the woman in front of her for a moment. Her heart pulses at the sight of her, her stomach churns and she feels a swell of terrifying love somewhere in her gut. It gives her a second of courage and she uses it to dig her fingers awkwardly in her pocket, tugging out the ring.
“Okay,” Her voice breaks again, and she clears her throat, her cheeks still shining with her blush. “Okay, Lexa… will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
It’s like fireworks are set off inside her, fizzing and whirling, and she is momentarily breathless as she wades through the bags, desperate to breach the gap between them. Her foot catches and she is sent sprawling forwards, but two arms slide around her waist and haul her up and suddenly she is in the arms of the woman she loves, who she will soon marry, and tears are trailing down Clarke’s face. Two eyes like a spring day, like a new beginning, gaze down at her with such affection that it’s all Clarke can do to wind to her arms around Lexa’s neck and draw herself up to press their lips together. Lexa’s hands wind around her waist, sure and tender, and when Lexa laughs, elated, against her lips, it feels like coming home.
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