Chapter Text
Sasha ran over to Beckett.
“Beckett?” he said, nudging him. “Holy crap,” he muttered to himself. Sasha tried to process what had just happened. Beckett had been dancing angrily, without music or anything, Beckett started sobbing, then yelled at Sasha and passed out? Sasha took a deep breath and tried to work out what he should do. He looked out the doorway and saw Mr. Park down the hall.
“Mr. Park?” Sasha said to him apprehensively. “Uh, Beckett passed out.”
“Oh my god,” replied Park. He ran into the room and Sasha followed him. There, sitting on the ground was a dazed looking Beckett Bradstreet. He blinked a couple times and looked up at Park.
“What happened?” Beckett asked tiredly.
“You blacked out, buddy.” Park told him gently, crouching down near him. “Did you hit your head? Does anything hurt?”
“No, I-“ Beckett looked up at Sasha. He had a look of exasperation of his face. Sasha thought he saw more tears hiding behind Beckett’s deep brown eyes. Sasha’s heart sank. What was that look supposed to mean? Did Beckett not want him there? Should he leave? If Beckett didn’t hate him before, he certainly did now. Sasha shouldn’t have asked if Beckett “ever wanted to talk”. God, Sasha was such an idiot. He turned to leave and felt tears coming. He took a deep breath and blinked them back. This was okay. He was used to this. Straight guys didn’t like it when guys like Sasha talked to them. This was normal. But somehow, it felt worse with Beckett. Stupid crushes. Of all of the things that Sasha could be worried about right now, he had to choose this. A stupid crush that he’d probably forget about a year from now.
Beckett looked down at his lunch. He should probably eat, considering the fact that he had just passed out an hour ago, but Beckett felt sick to his stomach. He looked up. Sasha was sitting alone by a tree. Beckett assumed that Jenna was probably practicing for the CAMDAs with Carly, but somehow Beckett felt like it was his fault that Sasha was all alone. Sasha looked up at Beckett and they both locked eyes. Immediately, they both looked back down. Beckett hid his face behind his hand. God, he was so embarrassed. He’d sobbed, passed out and yelled at his... crush? It was weird to call Sasha that. Crushes were innocent, normal things that implied cute, flirty interactions, and shy smiles. But this wasn’t innocent. Besides, Sasha probably hated him now. But not talking about it wasn’t going to help anything. Beckett took a deep breath and stood up. He started to walk towards the spot where Sasha was sitting.
“Uh... hi.” Beckett mumbled. He and Sasha looked at each other and immediately looked down, just like before.
“Sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m sorry I came in and bothered you, that was stupid.”
“What? No! No, you have no reason to be sorry, I’m the one who fainted and,” Beckett cleared his throat awkwardly, “cried.”
There was a beat of silence.
“We all do it, you know.” Sasha added. “Cry, I mean.”
“No.” Beckett replied. “I don’t. I shouldn’t. I’m not supposed to-“ Beckett could feel himself choking up, so he stopped talking.
“It’s okay.” Sasha said after a moment. Beckett shook his head slowly.
“No, it’s not. I’m not you, I can’t just-” Beckett could feel the lump in his throat get bigger. It was going to happen again. He was going to cry in front of Sasha, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.