Chapter Text
Tony jolted violently when Steve reached out and cupped his cheek gently. The movement was so sweet that Tony felt his heart break all over again, eyes dropping closed in a weak attempt to prevent his tears from falling. How could Steve be so gentle when he was breaking Tony’s heart? He wasn’t meant to be such an angel, not now. Steve was always going to be one though; a kind, beautiful, selfless angel of a man that Tony would never get to have again. He was going.
“Tony,” Steve said, his voice soft but warm. This was it. This was the moment that Steve was going to end it and leave. “Tony, look at me.” Tony shook his head resolutely, jaw locked tight as he swallowed thickly and Steve sighed. “Please, sweetheart.”
Dammit. Tony had never been able to deny Steve anything, especially not when he used that tone of voice and called him by that name. Tony kept his eyes cast downwards for a moment more before he took a deep, steeling breath and lifted his head to lock his gaze onto Steve’s.
Steve smiled at Tony, his face kind and eyes soft. “There you are. Smile, darlin’, please.” When Tony’s expression dropped into something disbelieving, Steve stroked his thumb over Tony’s cheekbone.
“Don’t look at me like that, just listen.” Steve kept moving his fingers lightly and little by little, Tony relaxed into the touch. “I’m not saying ‘no’, Tony. Well, I mean, I am, obviously, but I’m not saying it because I don’t want to marry you or because I don’t love you. I’m saying ‘no ‘because I know that if I say ‘yes’ and take this ring,” Steve nodded his head to the box and Tony dropped his eyes to stare at it intently, “you’ll spend weeks worrying yourself about when I’m going to leave.”
Tony wanted to protest, he really, really did, but he knew that Steve was right. Steve was always right when it came to Tony, freakishly so. Tony had been worrying since that first date with Steve that he was going to leave. He had spent nights even years into their relationship watching over his partner as he slept, committing every feature to memory for when Steve left and Tony was inevitably alone again.
Surprisingly for Tony, it hadn’t taken long for him to tell Steve about her. He had never told any of his dates about what had happened, but there had been something about Steve that had made Tony want to open up and spill everything that was on his mind. And then when he had, Steve had been the perfect listener throughout the whole story. His hand had rested on Tony’s arm and rubbed soothing circles to offer gentle reassurance as Tony spilled his darkest and most shameful secret, holding back tears even after all the years that had passed. There had been no judgment or pity, no sarcastic quips or awkward jokes to lighten the mood. God, Steve was too good for Tony and he’d apparently finally realised it.
“You’ll convince yourself that I’m about to bail and that I’ll take everything you own with me when I go, not matter how much you know that that isn’t true. So that’s why,” Steve continued, making Tony’s eyes shoot back up to his face where Steve’s smile was still firmly in place, “I’m going to be the one to ask you.” Tony’s mouth dropped open slightly and his hand shot out to clutch at Steve’s forearm tightly, squeezing as though he needed a lifeline. “And I will ask you to marry me, sweetheart, because I love you and I can’t wait to be your husband. But it will be me who asks you, Tony. That way you will know that I don’t plan on going anywhere. Ever, okay?”
Tony couldn’t do much more than nod, emotions flooding him and Steve’s words throwing him into something of a daze. As soon as Steve saw Tony’s agreement, he leant across the table slowly, eyes remaining locked onto Tony’s until the last second when their lips connected in a sweet kiss. It was nothing more than a press of their lips, but it was enough to convey everything they felt.
Steve wasn’t going anywhere, Tony thought to himself, repeating the phrase like a mantra as a smile slowly began to spread across his face. Maybe, for the first time, someone was going to stay with Tony until the end. Tony got to have this; got to have the warmth and the smiles and the cuddles. He got it all.
Steve wasn’t going anywhere, and Tony’s heart had never been more full.