Chapter Text
We ran happily to the St Basil’s Cathedral. There we saw the stage where Marks and Engals had first spoken. We ran in happly. They were there again, talking about overthrowing the bourgeios. I was so fucking happy! Merks looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Kennedy thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a somber suit and black shoes with COMMUNIST RED socks. Kennedy was wearing a black suit and a black tie. Anyway, we started listening intently and taking notes to On Religion. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the speakers to pose for the press. Suddenly, Marks pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,..... Ayn Rand and da Capitalistz!
“Wtf Kennedy im not going to a speech wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its Marks and Egnals n u no how much I lik them”
“What cause we...you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.
“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.
“We won’t do that again.” Kennedy promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”
“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a capitalist or a Christina or what now?”
“NO.” he muttered loudly.
“R u becoming a capitalist or what?” I shootd angrily.
“Khrushchev! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started reciting from ‘Greatness and Illusion’ by Carle Marks to me.
I was flattered cause that’s not even a famous book, he had memorized da chapta just 4 me!
“Ok then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.
Gorby was standing there. “Hajimemashite dude.” he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Ghost Stalin that fucking poser got expuld. he failed al his peace talks and killed a bunch of ppl.” (an: COMRADES U FUCKIN SUK! FUK U!)
“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.
Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some communisticc movies like Citizen X. “Maybe Ghost Stalin will die too.” I said.
“Kawai.” Gorby shook his head lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after he got expuld I murdered him and den Breznav did it with him cause he’s a necphilak.”
“Kawai.” I commented happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.
“OH HEY BTw, im going to a speech with kennedy tonight in St. Basil’s Cathedral with marks and egnals.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”
Gorby Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”
“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.
“No.” My head snapped up.
“WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Gorby are u a CAPITALIST?”
“NOOOO!NOOOO!” He laughed. “I found some cool commie stores near the Kremlin that’s all.”
“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Kennedy or Atomico or Dictator(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.
“Robot Kennedy.” He sed. “Let me just call an uber.”
“OMFFG ROBOT KENNEDY?” I asked quietly.
“Yah I saw the map for St Basil’s Cathedral on his desk.” He told me. “Come on let’s go.”
We were going in a few commie store SPECIALLY for the speeches in St Basil’s Cathedral. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN CASTRO EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few suits. “We only have these for da real commies.”
“Da real commies?” Me and Gorby asked.
“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Braznev and Raygun tried to buy a commie camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”
“OMGF NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a sensible silvery suit and very low-cut with a huge tie.
“Oh my Marks you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.
“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said Gorby.
“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the speech tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s nikolai dark'ness nukelear khrushchev what’s yours?”
“Vladimir Lenin.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”
“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf kennedy you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Mao drove in in his black armoured car looking worried. “OMFG KHRUSHCHEV U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE KREMLIN NOW!”