Chapter Text
The day of the wedding was set for early in the morning, when the sun had not yet peeked over the horizon. Steven wanted everyone to watch the sunrise during the breakfast and brunch, right after the ceremony; in addition, the eerie grey light of the dawn poorly illuminated the venue, casting shadows everywhere. Steven rose early in the morning, early enough to make him swear never to do this again, and tidied himself up. As Steven ate breakfast, Amethyst entered the Beach House from outside.
“You’re up early,” Steven noted.
“Yup,” said Amethyst, joining Steven at the bar. “I’m invested in your little show now. You’ve got a lot of my stuff out there where anyone could go and nab somethin',” Amethyst cracked open a fresh can of transmission fluid and chugged it.
“Oh. Ohhhhhhhh!” gasped Steven. “Sorry. I don’t think anyone in Beach City would take your stuff though. Is it still all there?”
Amethyst drained the can and licked out the inside of the rim. “Steven, I was joking.” Steven threw his head back and gave a laugh so fake it could have come from a can. Amethyst reassured him some more. “I was just making sure your things didn’t get blown away by the wind or soaked by the sea.”
Steven finished his pancake breakfast topped with raspberries, and ran to change his clothes. He and Connie had pondered over what to wear last night. Dress, or suit? On the one hand, a nice black suit looked terribly dapper, and offered a greater range of motion. On the other hand, a dress could be customized and accessorized more than a black suit could be, plus dresses looked quite elegant. Especially the solid color ones. The patterned dresses weren’t half bad either.
Steven and Connie resolved the issue by wearing a nice dress of their choosing underneath a suit. Steven had kept his suit from Empire City, but Connie would just borrow one of her dad’s suits that he wore when he was 13 or so.
Amethyst helped him tidy up the look, and offered him a choice of flowers: onion flowers, artichoke flowers, or roses, all courtesy of Vidalia. Vidalia said, “Look, Steven! Here we have red roses, for lovers, white roses, for humility, yellow for ecstasy, pink for thankfulness and veneration; orange for desire, and finally, blue roses that represent love at first sight and unattainable things.” Speech finished, Vidalia let out a huff of air. “My, that was a mouthful.”
Greg gazed over the wheelbarrow of choices Vidalia provided. "This is a lot of stuff, Vidalia! Wow." Greg picked up a blue rose. Blue liquid oozed off the petals splattering all over his fingers. "Yuck!" yelled Greg, shaking off the liquid.
“Hey, Vidalia.” Amethyst whispered. “You said ecstasy. Ecstasy. Get it?” Amethyst and Vidalia sniggered. “Also, did you paint those blue roses?” she added. Vidalia had to admit she did. Greg scolded the two, "Knock it off, you guys."
Roses…an image of Rose Quartz, Steven’s mother, flashed in his mind. Steven hesitated, but then said: “I don’t really want roses.”
Amethyst sobered up. “Ok.”
Steven chose the artichoke flower, a gorgeous purple to go against his black suit and sea green dress. Amethyst nodded. “I’ll fasten ‘em up for ya.” As she did so, she placed a bracing hand on Steven’s shoulder. “Buck up, kid. We’re gonna have a lot of fun today.” And she was off. Greg leaned down besides Steven, running his fingers through his hair. "Have fun, kiddo. I'll be cheering for you."
Vidalia took off soon after, to bring some appetizers. Her husband Yellowtail had promised to bring a big, raw, fish as a gift.
Connie arrived a few minutes later, already dressed in a tan suit a bit too big and a sunflower yellow dress. She had a black-oil sunflower pinned to her suit. Apparently, a few sunflowers grew near her house. Groom and Bride admired each other’s choice of dress, posing in the mirrors and gazing at each other.
Not so after, the guests arrived; Connie directed them to the seating. Quite a few of them remarked on the decorations, especially the hammers. “What in the hell is that?” Peedee Fryman half-shouted, half-asked, pointing at the 12-foot tall red hammer. “Peedee…” warned Mr. Fryman.
Sour Cream surreptitiously stuck neon rave sticks in a few of the gargoyles’ mouths, while Onion hugged a statue of a giant tearing another giant in two. These statues had been placed courtesy of Amethyst, who had once commissioned an Italian sculptor to carve out some statues for her.
“Are those real?” asked Priyanka, gesturing at the pink hammers. Before Connie could say anything, Amethyst proudly answered in the affirmative. “They sure are! That was Connie’s idea, but personally, I would have gone with the war axes.”
“Oh. What an…authentic touch.” Priyanka said, sitting down closest to where Connie would stand. She craned her head around, gazing at the blade of a hammer, as if wondering whether it would fall or not. Priyanka wrapped a faded but still pretty, flowered scarf around her daughter's arm, and Amethyst split so the family could have a little privacy.
Doug said, "This is how knights in the medieval ages recognized each other!"
"By tying special scarves around their chosen ones' wrists. An abominable activity, but a sweet gesture. Have fun Connie," said Priyanka, patting her daughter's hair.
“Is that mine?” Doug asked Connie, looking at the tan suit. “Yes!” said Connie, rolling her shoulders underneath the thick cloth. “It’s…really thick.” The suit warmed Connie up more than she had expected. “…Connie, I think that’s my pilot coat. That’s not my old suit.”
Greg took his seat, closest to where Steven would stand. Pearl stood near the brick stand, and Peridot sat next to Greg. Lapis perched atop the tallest hammer’s tassel, overlooking the proceedings. She hauled a basket full of streamers up with her, and threw a few handful down every now and then. Once all the guests had taken their seats, Garnet stood behind Connie and Steven atop the brick platform. Jet, the Crow of Honor, perched atop Connie’s shoulder, and plucked black oil sunflower seeds from Connie’s corsage.
“We are all gathered here today to celebrate the adoption of this Crow, Jet”-Garnet grabbed Jet, folding her fingers around his wings securely, raising him up into the air-“and the marriage of these two great warriors, Connie Maheswaran and Steven Universe.”
The entire gathering clapped. After the hullaballoo died down, Pearl climbed up the brick platform, and spoke.
“Now the adoption of our friend, Jet. Jet is a magnificent American Crow, born in this very city. He loves his parents very much, awakening them before the sun has risen, demanding food at all hours, and occasionally gifts them dead rats.”
Jet screamed very loudly and enthusiastically. He did not know what in the world was going on, but he smelled fresh fish (courtesy of Yellowtail), black-oil sunflower seeds, and doughnuts. Jet squirmed as Pearl picked him up, and shrieked even more happily. Once Jet had finished his raucous celebrations, Pearl placed him in the entangled fingers and palms of Steven and Connie.
Pearl said, “Connie and Steven. Do accept the responsibility of raising a young crow?”
“Yes,” the two said.
“Do you promise to keep him fed, watered and loved at all times?” asked Garnet.
“Yes,” the two confirmed.
“Jet?” asked Pearl. The crow turned its head towards Pearl, peering at her quizzically. Lion quietly crept up behind all of them, placing his paws on the back of the stage. Garnet shot Lion a quick look. He could have his own party later. Lion roasted Jet with a glare, then receded away.
That was one jealous Lion, all right.
“Do you promise to love your parents, and take care of them in their old age?” asked Pearl.
Jet made a noise like a motorcycle revving up, and cawed long and proudly.
"Do you promise to teach your parents the ways of the crow?" asked Garnet.
"c-c-c-AAaaWWWWwwwWWW Caw! Caw!" called out Jet, snuggling deep into his parents' palms.
“You are now child and parents!” Pearl and Garnet proclaimed as one.
Connie and Steven gave the crow a kiss each, and that ceremony concluded with even more applause. Pearl leaped off the brick platform, standing under Connie.
“Let me now extol the virtues of the two warriors.” Garnet placed a palm on Connie’s shoulder, and turned her to face forward. On cue, Connie drew the sword from the sheath, resting the tip of the sword on the cream cloth covering the brick platform.
“All great warriors have a beginning, and Connie Maheswaran is no different. This brave warrior began her journey under the training of the dainty, deadly dueler, Pearl!” Garnet gestured at Pearl with a graceful sweep of a palm. Pearl blushed a little, but summoned a sword and took a bow with a flourish.
“Under Pearl’s tutelage, our brave warrior learned to master the subtleties of combat by sword.” Connie demonstrated a few of the fancier techniques in the air, with Pearl mimicking her down below. “Once the teacher decided the student was ready, the real challenge began, to wield her sword in the open world. Our fierce warrior Connie has faced countless threats, from Holo-Pearls to Pearl herself to the dastardly Homeworld Gem Jasper. Connie has fought the Gem Monsters of the North, with teeth and fangs sharp, ready to pounce and snack upon unsuspecting travelers.” Garnet clawed her hands mimicked eating a hapless traveler. Onion quietly clapped his hands together for a bit before falling silent.
“She has fought the Gem Monsters of the Caves, with eyes glowing red and tails lashing to and fro. If you ever happen to be lost in such a cave, keep very silent!” Garnet placed a finger over her lips. “The Monsters always let out a hiss before they feed on human flesh.” Garnet mimed the devouring a poor soul. Priyanka's face paled a pasty white. Doug let out a small gasp.
“This warrior today is the bride. Now, we will extol the values of the groom.” On cue, Steven summoned the Rose Shield, resting the lip of the shield on the cream cloth covering the brick platform.
“I present to you the groom, Steven Universe, the second, current leader of the Crystal Gems! There have been many great leaders across the ages, but in my heart, Steven is the kindest, greatest of them all!” Garnet beamed proudly at Steven, whose ears turned red. Despite Steven’s pointing out that Rose was kind as well, Garnet insisted on keeping that line in her speech. Pearl, Amethyst (now underneath Steven) and Garnet summoned their weapons and struck a fancy pose each.
“Steven has shown great mercy towards all those that oppose him, even when to do so caused him much grief. Peridot”-Peridot seemed to shrink in her seat-“was once a great enemy of us Crystal Gems. Custodian of the Cluster, she aided the Homeworld Gem Jasper, and attacked us on many occasions. However, Steven reached out to Peridot, and after seeing the hypocrisy of her Commanders, Peridot has joined us, paying back Steven's kindness in full.”
“Of course, I refer to the Cluster sleeping below us even now. Steven and Peridot drilled down deep and made contact with the forced fusion, calming and soothing the scared beings down. The Cluster did not want to hurt us; the Cluster could not stop itself from bursting out! Steven helped the Cluster, bubbling it in the very center of the Earth.”
A murmur rippled through the crowd. Everyone in Beach City had felt those earthquakes.
On cue Steven said, “One day, I’ll go back down and heal the Cluster completely!”
“Of course, Steven not only possesses great diplomatic skills, but notable defensive skills. Steven bears the Rose Shield, a potent ward against harm. Our bride and groom are the sword and the shield-working together perfectly, whether separate as a dynamic duo, or working together as the warrior Stevonnie. A fit most beautiful. ”
The crowd clapped politely.
“Our bride and groom have formed a resilient bond. It is unthinkable that arguments will never come up. They have and always will, but the true strength of a bond lies in its resilience-no matter the arguments or hits that threaten to break a bond, it will persevere.” Garnet made a fist, clenching it tightly.
“Do any here today have any objections to this match?” asked Garnet.
Silence.
“Very well,” said Garnet. Pearl whipped out of her Gem a shiny ivory-colored pearl case. Holding it up, she delivered the case to Garnet. Garnet opened the case, displaying an iridescent ribbon. The back of the ribbon sported a dark red surface, almost black, but the top had an iridescent sheen. As Garnet displayed the ribbon in the sun, rainbows played across the surface, like the essence of a soap bubble had been captured inside.
Garnet gave the ribbon to Jet, who gladly held it. Taking their palms, Garnet lifted Steven’s and Connie palms in the air, then tied their elbows together with the ribbon.
“Now the bride and groom may kiss!” pronounced Garnet.
Steven moved in a little awkwardly, and Connie leaned in…
…to the fluffy black feathers of their adopted bird, Jet. Just as the bride and groom got close, Jet had launched himself in between the two, laughing as only a crow can. The rest of the guests laughed as well.
Connie and Steven jerked back, leaving Garnet to collect Jet. The second time was better: Steven and Connie gave each other a nice kiss. More of a peck, really, a quick kiss, just right.
The wedding concluded with great fanfare. Lapis flung all the streamers she had, dousing the air with color. Peridot helped her to clear the middle of the plaza, erecting a liquid water table right there. Yellowtail, carting a massive, raw, fish, placed the meat experimentally atop the table. Surprisingly, the water lapped at the fish and his hands, but the fish did not sink into the water.
Greg brought out a large chocolate cake, Vidalia brought some onion and vegetable pies, the Frymans whipped out a case of fries, and the other guests brought out their contributions. Everyone took a seat at Lapis’s strange moving water table, and happily talked, ate and watched the sun rise.
As the party proceeded, Garnet commanded the entire attention of the table with one remark. “Though this mock wedding was very fun, I’m quite certain there will be a real one in the future.”
The table erupted with celebration, shock (neither Greg nor Priyanka or Doug had heard of this exciting development), congratulations, more streamers (courtesy of Lapis), and Sour Cream’s neon rave sticks.