Chapter Text
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Steve - February 6th, 2016
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“I don’t understand,” Ellie said, putting down her fork. “The man obviously loves you.”
“I’m with Ellie,” Mary said, reaching for her coffee. “You’re an idiot. Danny’s trying to be what you need.”
“I don’t need anything.”
“Liar,” Ellie said. “Right,” Mary said. They were both unbelieving.
Steve knew Danny’s declaration that he wasn’t going anywhere in the car the week before was a big moment for the both of them. He had looked at Steve with such honesty and vulnerability and almost everything inside Steve told him to reach out and accept it. Hell, even these two women in front of him were telling him the same thing.
But this wasn’t about Steve. This was about Jack, about Nahele. He had to be the best father he could be. If that meant breaking his own heart - breaking Danny’s heart - then that was a sacrifice he was going to make.
He watched as Ellie turned to Mary, “so do you think these are mommy issues or daddy issues?”
“I’m not sure,” Mary said, eyes narrowing on Steve. Steve rolled his eyes under the scrutiny. “It could be some internalized homophobia, too.”
“Mmm,” Ellie mused, like she hadn’t thought of that.
“It’s not homoph-” Steve stopped himself with a quick, calming breath. “Danny is not the first man I’ve had feelings for, okay?”
Both of them sat forward, wide eyed and interested and Steve rolled his eyes again.
“We are not talking about my sex life!” Steve said. “We agreed no judgement about sex,” and he looked straight at Mary, “or lack of sex, at these breakfasts.”
“So does this mean you’re not straight?” Mary asked him with a bit of a teasing grin.
“Oh my god,” Steve groaned, and threw his head into his hands.
Both ladies laughed at his discomfort. Steve looked up to see them sharing a secretive look.
“Glad to see you two bonding over my troubles,” he groaned.
“They are only troubles because of yourself,” Ellie said, reaching forward to put a comforting hand on his arm.
“You did just admit you have feelings for him,” Mary said. “You’re hurting because you’re not with him. You’re not with him because you won’t let yourself be because of some leftover hurt about dad sending you away or mom leaving. Or both.”
“Ugh,” Steve groaned. Ellie joked about group therapy sessions, but my god did Mary really have to take her seriously? “Why are we talking about this?”
“Because we, as sisters,” and Steve noticed the way Ellie lit up as Mary said the word, “have earned the right to tease you and poke you and smack you over the head when you do something stupid.”
Steve found himself widening his eyes, like Grace does when she’s trying not to roll her eyes.
“Girl’s gotta point.”
He and Ellie had decided very early on that their connection was too messy to be anything other than friendship. The more they talked the more they realized they had so much in common. Not just John, but a love of surfing, a love for the island, a desire to keep it safe, a love of fishing and easy afternoon fish fry’s, a soft spot for classic cars and cold beers. It was an easy friendship.
After taking in Jack and Nahele, he realized he and Ellie’s connection was deeper than he realized. It was about choice. They could choose to look at their shared daddy issues as a pain, ignore it, let it fester, go their separate ways, let themselves feel alone and isolated in it all, or they could open their worlds to each other.
They shared no DNA. Technically, they didn’t even share John as a father. But they both carried similar scars.
“Thank you, Ellie,” Mary said proudly.
The last month made Steve realize he really didn’t know all that much about his sister. She had a secret career, she had come out to him after who knows how long of knowing that about herself, she shared how she met her daughter, she talked about her travel and how she’d still like to keep that up. Things he should have known, but didn’t. From the way their conversations went, the feeling seemed to be mutual.
He really was getting to know what it was to have a sister for the first time in his life. And for the first time it didn’t feel like he was letting her down somehow. John did that, not him.
He sighed and leaned forward again, “I hate therapy.”
“No you don’t,” Ellie said, stealing a piece of his too-burnt bacon. “You wouldn’t show up to breakfast if you did.”
Steve gave her a confused look.
She waved a finger in a circle, motioning to all three of them. “This is a messed up relationship and we all know it.” Mary and Steve shared a look and a chuckle. “See? We’re here because we all need to talk about things that only we understand from time to time.”
They sat in a comfortable silence, taking that in.
“That’s insanely mature,” Mary said, impressed.
Ellie sat up, proud of herself.
“She also makes a point,” Mary said, looking at Steve.
“What?”
“As much as Danny loves you, and as much as he’s aware of your issues, he doesn’t know what it is to be disappointed by his father.”
Steve sat back. “That’s true. His parents are saints.”
“Which is why he’s such a good dad.” Mary sniffed. “You and I don’t exactly have the best role models. We’re just trying to do our best.”
“So you understand?”
“Yeah,” Mary said with a sad face. Ellie bit her lip for half a second, like she wanted to say something. “But it’s still stupid.” Ellie’s face turned satisfied.
“As much as we love you,” Ellie said gently. “And as much as we are aware of your issues, he still knows you better than we do.”
“We are on fire today!” Mary said, holding up a hand. Ellie high fived it happily.
“I should have never introduced the two of you,” Steve groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
They only shared a grin and high fived again.