Chapter Text
“This song’s kinda stupid.”
Clementine looked up at the sky. The roof really was the definitely the place to be. The view was so clear and amazing. It was like she could count all the stars in the sky if she could.
“You’re just mad you cant play the song,” Clem teased. “You suck at guitar.”
Violet made a face as she laughed. “Dork I'm trying my best!!” She poked the guitar as she held the music sheet in her hand. “I mean I’m not wrong, look at these lyrics, ‘your skin and bones turn into something beautiful?’ It’s doesn't make sense? How?”
“Yeah but It’s a metaphor dum dum, most of them don’t,” Clementine took the music sheet and read it. “...Wait play some I wanna try.”
Violet adjusted the guitar in her hands. “Alright, but it’s gonna be really bad.”
As soon as she started playing, Clementine couldn’t help but feel calmness in her soul. All was surprisingly peaceful, considering the apocalypse. She took a deep breath, singing couldn’t be that hard.
“Look at the stars- ah fuck,” Clem’s voice cracked as Violet let out a little laugh. Clem pouted.
“I’m sorry Clem but you’re clearly not a singer,” Violet smirked.
“Hey let me try one more time at least!” She continued pouting.
Vi giggled as she started the song up again. It was moments like these where Clementine could just, feel. It didn’t matter that it was only for a little while, she could be happy for a few seconds. And moments like that where rare, especially now.
“...Look at the stars, look how they shine for you,” Clem sang. She was a bit nervous, the song was unfamiliar to her. Hoping who ever this songwriter was, they were at least a bit ok with it. “...And everything you do, it was all yellow.”
Clem glanced at the stars above her, for some reason she could feel the stars filling her soul. It was like so much warmth was surrounding her body as she sang to the flashing lights that inhibit the sky. They’re were so many, she’d never seen anything like it. It made her feel so small, yet so big at the same time.
“I came along, I wrote song for you,” She sang. “And everything you do, it was called yellow.”
“It sounds like you’re talking about pee,” Violet stopped playing to laugh. Clem rolled her eyes, lightly shoving Violet on her shoulder. Violet stuck her tongue out.
“I’m trying to sing,” Clem feigned annoyance. “Artist in the making here.”
Violet continued her strumming. “I’ll let the maker do their thing then,” She smiled.
Clem rolled her eyes and took another deep breath. “You’re skin, oh yeah you’re skin and bones, turn in, to something beautiful.”
Clem felt herself slowly shifting near Violet, making sure to not mess with her strumming. Violet herself naturally following suit, almost like it they were to magnets being drawn towards the other. Clementine could see Violet’s face bathing in the moonlight from the corner of her eyes. She tried her best to stay calm, but she really was beautiful.
Maybe the song made sense after all.
“You know,” Clementine continued blushing she sang the lines. “You know I love you so, oh.”
She slowly looked up at Violet. She was staring back, seamlessly stopping herself from playing the guitar. Clementine stared into her green eyes, taking another huge breath, like she had been doing so much of tonight. And she sang the last lyric.
“You know I love you so.”
And just like that, Violet couldn’t handle it. Silent tears fell from her face she stared into Clementine’s eyes. Clem’s face quickly turned to worry, she said something wrong. She should’ve been so forward with the song. She fuck up she fuck up she fuck up she fuck-
“It’s not supposed to be like this,” Violet cried crossing her arms. “Marlon’s was suppose to find this guitar, Minnie was suppose to- I’m not suppose to-“
Violet casted the guitar away and buried into herself. Clementine couldn’t believe what was happening. Violet never had such a reaction to something, it was new. Clementine drew her hand, but was hesitant to touch her, not to give the girl a hard time during her panic attack.
“Breathe,” Clementine said placing her hand near hers, just close enough to not have it touch. “Hey come just breath in and out.”
She took a risk, she moved closer and touched her hand. Violet looked up, red eyes and stuffy nose, her eyes reflecting the moon. Clementine wanted so bad to rid all the sadness from her tiny body. Once she knew it was okay to touch her, she wrapped her arms around her shoulders. She pulled in into the deepest hug she could muster, hoping to was enough to give her a slightest bit of comfort.
Like she did for her, countless times.
And for awhile Violet just, cried. She cried her heart and soul onto Clem’s shoulders. It’s been awhile since Violet just let herself go like this. Sure there were bad nights, nights where she could only think about Minerva and no one else but, not like this. She hadn’t wailed and screamed and cried, not in a long time. It was almost calming.
Clementine was calming.
And as her crying died down, they just spent minutes holding onto each other. Like they were lifeboats in a sea of unforgiving sadness. Clementine took her sleeve and gently wiped Violet’s face the best she could. Violet would push her away but she was tired, all she wanted to do was hold on the little hope she had left.
“...I tried to make jokes about it,” Her voice croaking. “I thought it would make it easier, but when we found that guitar, I just couldn’t-“
Clementine listened to her intently, hanging on the every word she said as her body became wracked with sobs. “I miss her, so much,” Violet sobbed. “I wanted to hurt Marlon so bad after hearing what he did to but, he’s fucking dead.“
Violet squeezed her eyes shut. “But I now I can’t even do that,” She whispered. “And Minerva’s still gone.”
Clementine didn’t know what to say. Violet was opening up to her and she couldn’t say a word. All she could do was squeeze her reassuringly, provide her comfort.
And for Violet it was enough.
“...I-I,” Violet said. It was barely a whisper. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“You know, despite everything.”
Tears pricked at the corner of Clementine’s eyes. Never had she heard those words before. Clementine whipped away her tears before they could start. It wasn’t her turn to cry, it was Violet’s.
“Of course,” Clementine whispered back, savouring her hush words when she could. “I care about you, a lot.”
That was possibly the closes Clementine got to expressing her feelings about her. It wasn’t a lie that Clementine had feelings for the girl she held in her arms. She wants so bad to reveal her feelings and kiss her until all her suffering turned to dust.
But she was still hurting, and you need to hurt before you heal. So she helps her heal. She helps her hunt and fish. She helps her scavenge and provide. She helps her have fun.
And she waits. Because, it’s not her time to take the spotlight and steal her heart away. And when it is, it would be Violet’s decision, not hers.
And right now, all the matters was how Violet had dozed off in her arms without even realizing it. Clementine looked at her peaceful face, brushing away any stray hair strands that cover it. Even in the pale moonlight, she was still beautiful as ever.
Clementine planted a kiss on her forehead, wishing her goodnight. She carried her to her dorm room. Hoping tomorrow would be a better day.
Because she deserves it, all of them do.