Chapter Text
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a beautiful morning. Wonwoo woke up to the sight Mingyu cutely snoring with an arm limply keeping him in place, that made the morning even more beautiful.
But he couldn't ignore the soreness he felt.
He internally groaned. It had been a while since he’d had sex so his body was having a hard time adjusting. It definitely hurt less because of how careful Mingyu was with him.
At once the butterflies came to life, Mingyu… my boyfriend.
That means they could… call each other cute names, tease each other, kiss, hold hands, kiss, kiss again, have some more sex (but even without it he’d be fine), talk on the phone, have sleepovers, kiss more, and-
It won't last. You're going to be in the way. He needs to focus on his career. It better if you just stay away.
As much as he tries to fight, the little demons find their way back, killing all that makes him happy. He felt like he couldn't breath, Mingyu's arm suddenly feeling like a ton of lead pushing him down onto the bed.
He tried his best to calm his breathing, calm his mind, but he couldn't with Mingyu right against him. With as much composure possible he removed the ridiculously heavy arm from around him.
Trying his best to walk straight he made way for the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, finally noticing their were tears running down his face. And he was covered in hickeys, all beautifully created by Mingyu. He didn't feel like he deserves to be a canvas for such a precious artist. It’s as if Monét made Water Lilies on a napkin. He let out a dry chuckle.
He closed his eyes, not wanting to see himself anymore. No matter how happy he was yesterday, how precious the time with Mingyu was, how much he meant the words he said to him, the special moment they shared, he didn't feel like he deserved any of it.
“I’m just going to be in the way,” he let out. He took a deep breath, attempting again to get a steady heartbeat.
Mingyu began to stir out of sleep, his body feeling cold. He quickly register that Wonwoo wasn't in bed with him, his warmth was gone. He sat up confused but then saw the bathroom door was ajar, he could faintly hear sobbing.
Without a second thought he headed toward the door, quietly letting himself in. His face fell at the sight of Wonwoo crying, covering his face while standing in the front of the mirror.
He couldn't help but think he did something wrong. He didn't want to hear him cry so carefully he wrapped Wonwoo in his arms. Hoping to shield him from whatever was attacking his beautiful heart.
Wonwoo jumped at the embrace, he wanted to back away. Mingyu shouldn’t have to waste his time taking care of him, but he gave in. He turned around and buried his face in Mingyu’s chest, drenching it in tears.
It took a few minutes for Wonwoo to find his composure, and it took Mingyu everything in him to not cry too. Maybe it was too soon to do what they did, maybe they got ahead of themselves, maybe Wonwoo was regretting it.
“What’s wrong? Please tell me,” Mingyu quietly pleaded.
Wonwoo felt embarrassed and buried his face further into Mingyu’s chest, not saying anything. He didn't want to feel bad anymore, he was tired of being sad. He wished he could reset his brain and start fresh. Only knowing the happiness Mingyu brings into his life and not the trauma from the past.
Mingyu lifted him up and sat him down on the vanity, “Deep breaths, Wonwoo. Tell me what's got you like this. Please.”
Wonwoo looked up at Mingyu, he still looked sleepy and he had the cutest bed head. He ran a hand through his soft hair, calming the wild mane. Mingyu’s worry filled eyes softened at the gesture. “You shouldn't waste your time on me, Mingyu. You have bigger, better things happening in your life. I’m only going to be in the way. I have nothing to offer you.”
“Wonwoo… I want you to understand how important you are to me. I know our situation is kind of strange but we came together for a reason,” he found his place in between his legs. “Ignore who I am outside of who I am when I’m with you. I’m not here to see what you could offer me, I’m here for.. you. My main priority right now is helping you heal, and I won’t stop until every ounce of angst you have is gone.” He placed a tentative hand on the soft skin of his cheek, making Wonwoo meet his eyes, “Okay?”
The sweet words made the little demons retreat, the caring hand kept them at bay, “I’m sorry Mingyu. My head is dumb, I can't control what goes on in there sometimes… I hope you can keep being patient with me.” He took a hold of Mingyu's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the palm.
“Don’t say sorry, you have nothing to apologize about. Whenever you feel out of balance and you need help clearing your mind, talk to me. I’ll walk through the darkness with you to make sure you don't hurt yourself along the way. I’ll help you reach the light each time.”
Those words… they felt like being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a chilly day, falling asleep to the sound of rain, the sound of birds singing on a breezy summer afternoon, the way the sun colored the sky when it said good night, Mingyu’s hand in his.
They embedded themselves into his heart along with all the precious words and moments he’s had with him. It was hard for him to believe he had someone in his life that cared so much about him.
His palm met Mingyu's heart, right above where he marked him he felt the steady rhythm, “Thank you.” His eyes were full of sincerity and care. His feelings for Mingyu continued to grow.
He placed a hand over Wonwoo's, “Are you feeling better?”
Wonwoo nodded his head, “All thanks to you.”
~
They stood under warm water, Wonwoo’s ear over Mingyu’s heart, feeling calm at the sound of its steady rhythm.
Mingyu lathered shampoo through his black locks, “What do you want to do today?”
“Walking along the Han river sounds nice, but maybe we should just go back to my place?”, the feeling of Mingyu’s fingers massaging his scalp was making him feel sleepy.
He carefully rinsed the shampoo out,“We can get some takeout to eat at your place then go to the river. It would be nice. Is that fine with you?”
“Sounds perfect,” He pulled away to look up at Mingyu. “Kinda sucks we won't be able to hold hands through,” a pout formed on his lips.
Mingyu smiled at how cute he was and gave his little pout a quick kiss, “We still can, but only if you're comfortable with that.”
Wonwoo gathered some shampoo on his hands and began running it through Mingyu’s brown locks, “We’ll see.”
Mingyu’s eyes fluttered close and he rested his hands at Wonwoo’s hips.
Why it felt so natural to them to be in such a position, they’ll never know. It seemed like every moment they were together was the result of having been together for years. It just made sense that Mingyu knew how to calm Wonwoo’s heart and Wonwoo knew how to make Mingyu’s race. It was a perfect pairing.
~
“Isn't it weird we’re going to walk out with more stuff than we walked in with?” Wonwoo stood with a duffle bag over his shoulder and a tote over the other.
Mingyu prepared a few outfits, outerwear, the necessary toiletries and made Seungkwan bring them to the hotel the previous morning.
“Hmm.. maybe,” he shrugged.
He was about to walk out of their suite before Wonwoo stopped him, “Gyu, babe. You almost forgot to cover up.”
The giant pouted (but internally smiled at being called babe), “boo.”
Wonwoo quickly sorted through the tote bag, pulling out a baseball cap. He pushed back Mingyu’s hair before putting the cap on him (he wanted to see his beautiful forehead). He pulled out a scarf and wrapped it around his neck, covering up a love bite he didn’t even remember making, then finally a face mask, covering up the pout Mingyu still wore.
He put a facemask and scarf on himself too and nodded, “We can go now.”
Mingyu opened the door and gestured for Wonwoo to exit first, “Angels first.”
He laughed, “that one's not so bad.”
Their hands met as they walked down the corridor, both secretly thinking of doing the same thing in the outside world.
They took the elevator to the ground floor, as soon as the door dinged open they were greeted with the sounds of people at work and visitors. Wonwoo instinctively tried to retreat his hand but Mingyu gave it a squeeze, “We’re okay.” Wonwoo only responded with a nervous nod.
“Checking out?” A different person greeted them at the front desk this time, a young man with light brown hair.
“Yup,” Mingyu slid the room card over the counter. He still felt a bit catty from last time.
“Alrighty…” they typed some stuff into a computer. “Everything was charged to the card on tab,” the young man cleared his throat. “Can I ask you two a question?”
Wonwoo tensed up, “Sure.” Mingyu responded.
“Are you two an item?” He pointed toward his own neck, eyeing Wonwoo who immediately fixed his scarf.
“Why?” Mingyu answered curtly.
They put their hand up, “It’s nice to see, it’s hard being a queer person in this day and age. Not a lot of people can display it comfortably.”
Their shoulders relaxed, “Don't let anything stop you. As hard as it can be, you have to live your life for you, and not for anyone else.” Wonwoo’s words took both Mingyu and the young man by surprise.
“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind,” he flashed them a big grin. “I hope you two have a nice day.”
“You too,” Mingyu leaned forward to read the name tag. “Chan.”
Wonwoo waved at him and they made their way out, “That went better than I thought it would.”
~
“Seungkwan wants us to meet up with him and his boyfriend for some bbq, what do you say?”
They were in Wonwoo’s room, he decided to use some time to catch up on homework he was behind on. Having Mingyu there helped motivate him.
“Sure, as long as we can still walk by the river later,” he flashed him a thumbs up before continuing his work.
Mingyu sat in Wonwoo's bed playing with little Honesty. He looked at Wonwoo's back while he worked, leaning over his laptop using some complicated looking programs.
Honesty jumped out of his lap to curl up in the blankets. He stood up from the bed and walked toward Wonwoo, “We will.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on the crown of his head.
Wonwoo turned his head up and flashed Mingyu a smile, “Then I’m down.”
He leaned down to place a quick kiss on his smile, “We’ll headout when you’re done.”
“It’s fine. I could finish later,” he stood up and wrapped his arms around Mingyu’s neck. “I could use a break.”
He took a hold of Wonwoo’s waist, “It’s been like.. an hour. You already need a break?”
“Yes,” he attacked his face with kisses, both laughing while falling back onto the bed.
~
Wonwoo followed close behind Mingyu as they were lead through a crowded restaurant to a private dining room.
“You guys came!” Seungkwan's bubbly voice greeted them as they stepped in.
“Duh, free food.” Mingyu took off his face mask and leaned down to give him and Vernon quick hugs.
“Who said it was free?” He squared his eyes at Mingyu but immediately lit up when he saw Wonwoo. “I’m so happy to see you!” He stood up and pulled him into a hug.
He hugged back, “Glad to see you too Seungkwan. It’s been a while.”
“It has. During that time I managed to snag myself a boyfriend,” he pointed to Vernon who was munching on some side dishes. “Vernon,” the blonde man looked up. “This is Wonwoo, Mingyu’s…” He trailed off and turned to Mingyu for confirmation.
“Boyfriend,” He smiled at Wonwoo as his cheeks turned pink.
“Wooh!” Seungkwan exclaimed excitingly.
Vernon smiled and extended his hand, “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” He took the hand and shook it, returning the gesture.
“Sit, sit. The meat should be here soon. I want to hear all about yesterday.”
Mingyu took a hold of Wonwoo’s hand and they took a seat across from the pair, “Wonwoo?”
“It was… nice. I’m guessing you know the jist of it,” Seungkwan nodded. “The flowers are beautiful, they bring so much life into my little apartment. The art museum, being able to really admire and take in the art was.. wow,” In the midst of reminiscing he leaned into Mingyu. “The view from the hotel room, I’ve never seen the city from that high up. It was so beautiful. And thank you for bringing us that food. I need to tell Jeonghan-hyung and Joshua-hyung thank you also.”
Vernon noticed how that tender smile would not leave Mingyu’s face while he looked at Wonwoo in what seemed to be adoration. He was sure that’s how he looked when Seungkwan did literally anything.
“I’m glad you liked it. I stayed up late making sure everything went perfectly,” he shook a finger at Mingyu but smiled at Wonwoo.
“Thank you, for the millionth time. I owe you,” Mingyu stuck out his tongue.
“Did you guys…” Seungkwan paused. “Get dessert?”
Vernon and Mingyu gawked at Seungkwan who was wearing a mischievous smile.
“De.. ssert?” He turned to Mingyu confused. “There was dessert?”
As if on cue the waiter walked into their little cubicle with meat and set it up on the grill. Wonwoo got distracted with the sizzling and Mingyu took the chance to shot Seungkwan a look but he still had that evil smile. He tried his luck with Vernon, showcasing big puppy eyes. He only shrugged with a smile. Mingyu sighed in defeat.
They began eating the tasty grilled meat, completely forgetting what they were talking about. Wonwoo was eating his fill of rice and side dishes. Mingyu scolded himself for forgetting to get them something to eat earlier.
He grabbed a piece of lettuce and made a packed ssam. He made Wonwoo turn to him, “Open up, babe.”
“But I’m already getting full,” he pouted.
“Just a bit more, c'mon. I made it with a lot of Love,” he brought the ssam to Wonwoo’s lips. “Pleasee.”
“Fine,” he opened his mouth and Mingyu fed him the ssam. He didn't notice how much he was blushing.
That was the first time he was hearing the L word leave Mingyu's lips after becoming a couple and it set something off in him. He tried not to think about hearing it in different context.
“Vernon, why don't you feed me a ssam?” Seungkwan feigned offense and crossed his arms.
“You literally told me, ‘you don't have to feed me. I’m old enough to do it myself’.” He terribly imitated Seungkwan's voice causing the two spectators to laugh.
“Vernon!” He pushed him on the arm.
“Does my lil baby want me to feed him now?” He cooed.
“...Yes.”
Vernon made a wrap packed with all of Seungkwan's favorites and presented it to him, “ta-da~”
“They made such a perfect couple. Even though Vernon is way more calm compared to Seungkwan. They complement each other perfectly,” Wonwoo was observing the two. It was nice seeing another happy couple.
“Yeah, they're cute I guesss,” he kissed Wonwoo’s cheek. “But we’re cuter.”
Seungkwan almost choked on the wrap, Vernon had to pat him on the back. He took a sip of water and wiped away the small tears that formed, “Oh my god.”
“What?” Mingyu asked confused at his reaction.
“That was adorable I almost died. Literally,” Seungkwan took another drink of water. “You two might take the cake on this cute couple competition but our J&J hyungs are leading.”
Vernon laughed, “You're such a weirdo, boo.” Another shove.
“Ignore him. We could obviously never beat those hyungs,” he kissed the back of Wonwoo's hand.
“Oh god,” he covered his red face with his free hand.
It felt so nice to be surrounded by carefree love and affection, from Mingyu and those around him.
“Not what you expected, right?” Vernon said to Wonwoo who peeked from between his fingers and nodded. “But you're in good company. We all got your back now man.”
“Right but did you have dess-” Vernon quickly put his hand over Seungkwan's mouth muffling what he was going to say.
Vernon gave a quick smile to the laughing couple, “Seungkwan's kind of a lost cause though.”
~
The cold breeze made them shiver as they stood outside the restaurant, bellies full. The sun was beginning to set coloring the world in a comforting orange.
“It was nice seeing you again. I hope I get to see more of you from now on,” Seungkwan pulled Wonwoo into a hug.
“You will. Thank you ‘kwan.” He pulled away only to be pulled into a big bro hug by Vernon.
He patted his back, “Glad to have a new friend.”
“Happy to be one.”
Another close breeze passed by them. Vernon and Mingyu pulled their shivering boyfriends close to them.
Seungkwan had to say something, so he said, “Wow, gay.”
“Vernon,” Mingyu chuckled.
“Yea, yea. Bye man, bye Wonwoo!” He began leading them the opposite direction.
Seungkwan stuck out tongue and waved bye, “Mingyu! Put the volume on your phone up! See you back at the dorm! Bye Wonwoooo~.”
Wonwoo waved until they disappear into the parking lot, “I wonder what he’s like when he’s drunk,” He let out a weak laugh and threw his arm around Mingyu’s waist. It was cold, he didn't feel like worrying about people looking.
“Trust me, you don't want to know,” he gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Let’s go to the river.”
~
They quietly walked along the river bank, hands deep in their pockets. The chilly wind was nipping at their cheeks and ears coloring them red.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Wonwoo kicked at the ground.
“No please, it’s perfect. It’s been a long time since I've done this,” Mingyu bumped his shoulder.
“But it’s cold, your ears are so red,” he took out his hand from his pocket and tried to rub some heat back into the lobes, making Mingyu laugh.
“You're so cute,” he took a hold of the hand and kissed it through the face mask. “This thing is so annoying.”
“You better keep it on,” he intertwined their fingers and felt warmth began to engulf him.
There wasn't many people out luckily. Just a few couples like them taking advantage of the weather to be alone.
Mingyu put their locked hands into his coat pocket, shielding them from the cold. Wonwoo walked closer to him, wishing he could somehow be closer to him. For a moment, it felt like they were just a normal couple taking a walk by the river after hanging out with friends. Even though that was far from the case, it felt like it in their own little world.
“I know what could warm us up more,” Mingyu began to lead them down some steps near the river bank.
“Um, I doubt getting closer to the water will help,” but something was making feel excited.
“You’re probably right but,” they stood under a dock, hidden away from the rest of the world. He pulled down his face mask and flashed a smile. “Maybe this could.” His cold lips made contact with Wonwoo's cold lips and just like Mingyu predicted, it made them feel warm. Wonwoo giggled into the kiss and took a hold of Mingyu’s face.
It was an intoxicating thrill that filled them, the faint noise of people walking above them and the sound of the water rushing by played reminder of where they were. Their kiss deepened and Wonwoo's hands moved to the back of Mingyu's neck, pulling him in closer. The feeling of their tongues moving against each other felt like heaven.
They pulled away from one another, a bead of saliva following Mingyu’s tongue out.
“Gross,” Wonwoo wiped it away even though he did think it was kind of hot.
Mingyu took a step back, a reached into his pocket, “Here.” He pulled out a new phone, the latest model.
“What..?” Wonwoo looked at him then at the phone he was holding, confused.
“I made Seungkwan get this for me. To give to you,” he placed the phone in Wonwoo's palm. “Check out the wallpaper.”
Dumbfounded, he turned on the phone.
It was a cute picture, he had to admit.
“Mingyu.. I can’t. This is such an expensive phone,” Wonwoo tried to hand it back to him.
“That doesn't matter, you know this.” He took the phone and put it in Wonwoo’s jacket pocket.
“But it’s so expensive~” He whined again.
Mingyu cut him short with a kiss. “Hey, if you care so much about making it up to me,” he leaned close to Wonwoo’s ear. “Just send me some sexy pics.”
“Ugh, Mingyu!” He pushed him away playfully.
They kissed some more because it was “so cold” and sat to watch the river pass them by.
“Wanna go back home?” Mingyu whispered.
“Let’s go home.”
~
The sound of low music and their kisses filles the tiny room. Mingyu's hand was roaming inside of Wonwoo’s sweater, feeling the soft skin he’d become so fond of.
But the sound of Mingyu's ringtone pulled them out of their euphoric state. He quickly retreated his hand and pulled away from Wonwoo who was already pouting.
“Sorry babe,” he gave an apologetic look but Wonwoo shoo'd him away, knowing it was probably some idol business.
Seungkwan's picture flashed across his screen and he swiped to answer the call, “Hey, What's up?”
“Okay, listen up. I just got off the phone with PD-nim. He wants to know if you’re ready for a comeback.”
“Wait, what? When?” Fuck. That was a surprise.
“He wants you to get started this Monday. But only if you're ready.” Even Seungkwan felt stressed. He already knew this wasn't the best timing.
“This Monday…” he repeated to himself. “I can't really say no, right?”
“I mean, you can. But who knows when the next time would be. The demand for you is high, Mingyu.”
It was a weird mixture of excitement, happiness, and nerves. He wanted to spend more time with Wonwoo, “I….”
Familiar arms wrapped around him and a beautiful voice whispered, “Say yes.”
“Tell him I say yes.” Why did he feel like crying?
“I’ll let him know. We'll talk more when you get home. Cya, ‘gyu.” And the line went dead.
He turned around and was greeted by a soft smile, “I can't wait to see what concept you'll have next.”
A half sad/half amused chuckle left him, “I’ll let you know the moment I do.” He lifted Wonwoo up and led them back to the room, laying them back down.
“Are you excited?” Wonwoo brushed Mingyu’s hair away from his face.
“...Kinda? This is my first comeback... but if I’m being honest,” he placed a hand in Wonwoo’s cheek. “I want to stay with you.”
“As much as I would like that, your career is more important than anything.” He meant his words, but he really wanted to stay with him too. Their lips met in a short but heartfelt kiss.
“Yeahhh…” Mingyu got on his back, face in a scowl. His brain was already counting down the milliseconds until he had to be away from Wonwoo until who knew when. He felt a weight across his stomach and opened his eyes.
Wonwoo had trapped Mingyu under him, legs on either side. “Hey, snap out of it. Everything will be fine.” He took a hold of Mingyu's hands and placed them in his thighs. “Let's have more fun while we can, okay? I promise to send you sexy pics when you're busy, to help you wind down.”
“That does make me feel a little better,” he squeezed down where his hands were. “Let’s have some fun then, babe.”
They spent majority of the night becoming one again with a mixture of desire and unsaid worries. They tried not to think about how long it would be until they were that close again. Every touch, moan, kiss, and bead of sweat was a bit different this time. Hoping their feelings could get through to the other.
~
“Good night, angel.”
“Good night, you loser.”
“I…” he wanted to say them so bad.
But Wonwoo bravely mouthed the words into Mingyu’s skin, being too sleepy and secretly scared to say them out loud.
A million flowers bloomed into Mingyu, on top of the million that were already there. He was in awe at the feeling those words spread across him, it was enough to write thousands of beautiful songs. All about that beautiful cat-eyed man.
With a smile on his face, he mouthed them back against Wonwoo’s sensitive skin, purposefully. To make sure he understood every syllable.
They sent a shiver through him, rattling his demons away. They filled up all the remaining cracks in his heart, and built a barrier over it. For the first time in a long time, he felt it. Genuinely.
Mingyu would shine how he always does and Wonwoo would be there to capture it. Exchanging silent I love you’s every time he looked into the camera.
Things are going to work out. They were going to be happy, even if it had to be in secret. Even if it was a big risk. Even if it could result in disaster.