Chapter Text
There was something peculiar about being alone. It was quiet- too quiet. Being on the road, Jimin found himself alone more often. Having a hotel room to himself could be nice, maybe even should be nice, but he often found himself wishing for another of his members to materialize (sometimes they did- Tae was particularly good at reading Jimin’s feelings through walls and showing up in his room when he needed him the most), even just to sit quietly with him.
Right now, no one was going materialize, not for a while anyway. He’d tried so, so hard to push through and attend the broadcast. Now he had the sting of defeat to accompany him in addition to the unforgettable notion that he was injured. Nevermind the shooting pains in his neck and right shoulder that reduced him to tears if he so much as thought about moving.
And it was all so horribly familiar. At least this time it hadn’t happened on a plane in front of hundreds of others. Last time it had happened on the way to Macau and he’d gone straight to the ER. This time they were travelling with more staff, and as the injury was familiar, he’d be able to be treated in the comfort of their hotel. Treatment however, implies that something is resolved. The last thing this was, was resolved. He’d had to miss the broadcast, and chances were he’d have to sit through the next concert - the one on his birthday. He felt tears prick the back of his eyes for the hundredth time today. You’d think he’d be all cried out, but he wasn’t even close.
Jimin winced as he reached for his phone, tears of pain mixed with frustration pooling in the corners of his eyes and he wiped them away with his left hand, dislodging his glasses.
He had a message from Tae. Three messages, in fact.
Taetae: Miss you Chimchim ><
Taetae: You’d better be resting! Don’t worry, we’ll take care of this and come back and eat well with you!
Taetae: <3<3<3<3
Jimin locked his phone. He knew he should reply, tell Tae he was ok, but in all honesty he wasn’t. Jimin’s place was on stage with his members, and right now he had neither of those things.
More tears fell, and this time it wasn’t just one or two. They fogged up his glasses as they spilled down his cheeks. The pain in his neck was horrible, but not being able to sing, to dance, hurt so much more. Knowing that there were only six of them on stage made him feel so left out. He wanted to be there more than anything.
He reached to wipe his eyes with his right hand and the pain exploded in his shoulder. It felt like his nerves were on fire, every tiny movement was like a million little knives slicing away at his muscles. It hurt so badly to keep his arm in that position, but he knew it was going to hurt more to put it down. He choked on a sob as he dropped his arm, wishing he could curl into a ball but he couldn’t even do that. All he could do was lie there and cry; he could hardly wipe his own tears.
How could his body betray him like this? How was it even possible to feel this much pain?
Jimin’s heart skipped a beat as he heard a knock at the door. His first thought was medical staff or his manager, but the knock was too quiet, too small. Whoever it was had a key, and Jimin suddenly felt very vulnerable. Before he could start imagining scenarios in which he was in danger, a familiar set of wide eyes and bunny teeth came into view and he felt a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding release itself.
“Kook?” Jimin asked, his voice pathetically weak.
“Hi Jimin-ssi,” Jungkook grinned, letting himself into the room and closing the door behind him. Jimin watched the smile fall off his face the moment he got a better look at him, and he hated himself for it.
“How are you feeling?” Jungkook asked hesitantly.
“Like shit,” Jimin said automatically.
“Is the pain still really bad?”
“If it wasn’t, I would have been there,” Jimin said, regretting his tone immediately. Sure he was frustrated but it wasn’t fair to take it out on Jungkook.
Jungkook approached the nightstand and picked up Jimin’s prescription bottle of painkillers. He studied it closely, examining the pills as he shook it around a bit. Jimin let him. He didn’t know what else to say. He’d been so waiting for someone to come back and keep him company, but now that Jungkook was there, he didn’t know how to talk to him.
“Jimin, it says they dispensed twenty pills,” Jungkook said, the bottle tight in hand as his eyes shifted from Jimin to the bottle and back again.
“Mmm?” Jimin hummed, eyes mostly closed.
“There are twenty pills in this bottle. You haven’t taken any?”
“They gave me painkillers at the clinic,” Jimin insisted, his story already prepared.
“That was hours ago! You know how this stuff works! If you don’t control your pain your body can’t focus on healing itself. We’ve had this lecture a hundred times.”
Defeated, Jimin thought.
He knew Jungkook was right.
His mind was such a mess he wasn’t prepared to lie any further. He knew the truth was better. Sure Jungkook would be upset, but he wouldn’t lecture him too badly like Namjoon or Hoseok might.
“They make my head fuzzy,” Jimin said. Jungkook sat down beside him, shifting closer, careful not to jar the bed. “I wanted to hear how the show went before I took anything.”
Jungkook sighed, but his eyes were heavy with affection. “I know,” he said softly, reaching for Jimin’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “They gave me the same meds. I hate taking them too.”
Jimin gripped Jungkook’s larger hand as hard as he could without causing himself pain. He could feel the tears stinging the backs of his eyes again. He felt stupid, feeling sorry for himself. He knew Jungkook was in the same position as he was and he wasn’t lying in a pool of self-pity.
“The show was fine,” Jungkook said, stretching his neck out. “We performed Idol, answered some questions, the same old, you know?” Jimin wondered how much of this Jungkook was dumbing down for his own sake. If the show had been amazing, would he have told Jimin? “It felt weird without you though and everyone could feel it. The second the cameras were off everyone just wanted to get back to you. The others had to go to a lunch meeting but I… I um, said I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Are you feeling unwell?”
“I just kind of wanted to get off my feet,” Jungkook said, eyes evading Jimin’s. It was obvious that he wanted to get back to Jimin, and the notion itself was heartwarming. Something in Jimin shifted in that moment, and he went from pitying himself to remind himself of how lucky he was. He had 6 amazing brothers that couldn’t stand to leave him alone, that would bow out of interviews if it meant they could stay with him in his time of need. He felt the lump in his throat again, but this time for a different reason.
“Will you come lay with me?” Jimin asked, his voice threatening to crack.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook said. Jimin watched his eyes, his body hesitant to the point that Jimin could tell he wanted to.
“P-please,” Jimin stammered, “I need you,” he said, his words so soft and his voice so thin that he could hardly hear himself. He felt so vulnerable, and though if Jungkook said no, he’d break.
“Ok,” Jungkook said, gently reaching out to Jimin’s face to wipe away a tear. Jimin hadn’t even realized it had fallen, but now that he felt it, he sniffled. “But I need you to take your painkillers. Please, I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”
Jimin would have nodded. Instead he muttered a silent “ok.”
Jungkook uncapped the bottle and dropped two of the pills into his hand.
“There’s another bottle over there,” Jimin said, eyes locked on the second bottle of pills he’d been given. Jungkook was right, he needed to take them, and now that he was here with him, he didn’t mind turning into a medically induced stoned mess. He knew Jungkook would take care of him.
Jungkook stood up, careful not to shake the bed, and limped across the room, collected the bottle and returned. He read the label and popped another pill into his hand.
“Think you can swallow them lying down?”
“Yeah,” Jimin said, “there’s water on the nightstand.” Not that he’d been able to reach it and obviously he’d been too stubborn to ask for help. But now he let Jungkook pop the pills into his mouth one by one, following each with a sip from the straw in his water glass. Jungkook smiled, watching as Jimin drank from the cup.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jimin said, spitting out the straw.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m useless,” Jimin said, pouting.
“You’re not useless, you’re adorable,” Jungkook said, grinning his token bunny smile.
“Shut up and come cuddle me,” Jimin said, pulling his hand from Jungkook’s and forcing his aching body to move over for Jungkook.
“Slow down there,” Jungkook said, concern crossing his face as Jimin winced.
“It’s fine,” Jimin said through gritted teeth. Of course it was going to hurt, but it was worth the pain.
“I don’t want to get too comfortable,” Jungkook said. “I need to feed you at some point.”
“Feed me? Or feed yourself?”
“Both. But I’m sure you’ve been angsting all day and not eating so, you’re the important one.”
“Even if I wasn’t angsting, I can hardly move,” Jimin deadpanned.
“What happened to the neck brace they gave you?”
“I set it on fire.”
“Jimin.”
“It’s gone forever. I also burned down every store that sells braces within a hundred kilometer radius.”
“Damn, Amazon it is. Good thing they do same day delivery.”
Jimin glared at Jungkook. “Will you just come cuddle me already?”
“Jimin, you might need it to perform on Saturday.”
“Nope. I’d rather die.”
“Drama queen.”
“It’s under my pillow. Don’t tell anyone.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes and pulled his legs up onto the bed.
“Traitor,” Jimin muttered under his breath.
“What was that?” Jungkook rolled over, fake aggressively, but still careful.
“Nothing!” Jimin cried, grateful he had an excuse to wince as Jungkook rolled into him, carefully wrapping himself around Jimin without interrupting his position too badly, head beside Jimin’s on the pillow, arm across his chest.
“How’s your foot,” Jimin said, feeling his body relax a bit as Jungkook cuddled impossibly closer.
“Still sliced open, still has a bunch of stitches in it,” Jungkook said, kicking his injured foot up onto his other ankle to elevate it. “But it feels better now that I’m off of it. And someone did a really good job of bandaging it last night.” Jungkook smiled at Jimin.
“Good.”
“What about you, hyung? What’s going on inside that pretty blonde head?” He asked, reaching to brush Jimin’s bangs out of his eyes.
Jimin let his eyes fall closed, hoping that Jungkook would brush his hair again like that. He did, running his fingers through Jimin’s hair the way he liked, and Jimin released a long exhale. Jungkook kept playing with his hair.
“I just feel so… sad,” Jimin finally admitted. “I mean, I probably could have hydrated better, stretched better, prevented it somehow.”
“It’s no -”
“I know it isn’t my fault,” Jimin cut him off. “I know. It’s the same as before in Macau. It doesn’t make it any easier thought. Being alone, missing stages, not being able to show what I can do. It’s so hard.”
“I know it is,” Jungkook said, running his hand through Jimin’s hair one last time, then dropping his arm down across Jimin’s chest again.
“I know you do,” Jimin said. “If anyone understands, it’s you.”
“Thank you,” Jungkook said.
“For what?”
“For taking care of me on stage last night.”
“Of course. That’s what we do for each other.”
“No, I really mean it. I actually felt sad later when I thought about it, because when you sat through the Macau stage, no one stayed near you very much until the end.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“I know it was. But still, you knew how it felt to be alone. As soon as I was by myself… well… you saw what happened. You came running. You knew how it felt so you made sure I wasn’t alone. So… thank you.”
“Kook, you know I’ll always take care of you.”
“I know you will. So… let me take care of you, too?”
Jimin felt a smile trying to force its way onto his face. “I’ll try, Kookie. It’s hard though… I don’t really know how I feel right now. I just feel so… empty. So… betrayed by my body. I’ve always been able to push through most things, but now it’s just… my body isn’t working the way I want it to. And it’s not even properly injured. I mean if I broke my leg sure I could understand.”
“You should probably not wish that upon yourself.”
“I know. It just… it doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s frustrating, infuriating, really.”
Jungkook pulled himself a bit closer, shaking the bed slightly, but Jimin felt it less. His painkillers must be kicking in. Jungkook reached up for Jimin’s far shoulder, cupping the joint in his hand and gently caressing it. His big hand was warm; it made Jimin feel petite. He slid his hand down Jimin’s shoulder, past his t-shirt and down his arm. Jimin felt his eyes close, relaxing as he gave himself away to the touch. It was comforting, soft, warm, everything that Jungkook was to him. Sure he was younger, but he was bigger, stronger and so caring. He reached up and slid the backs of his fingers against Jimin’s chin. His skin was so soft, his knuckles so smooth.
Jimin lied there, letting Jungkook’s hand explore his body, his skin, his face, his hair. It was so simple but so soothing. He felt himself nearly falling asleep when Jungkook finally spoke.
“Jimin-ssi,” he said quietly.
Jimin smiled at the honorific.
“I’m going to make you some ramen, ok?”
Jimin clenched Jungkook’s hand tight. “Stay here.”
“I’m not going anywhere, but you need to eat.”
“Just want cuddles,” Jimin mumbled.
“We both need to eat,” Jungkook said. “Then we can cuddle all you want.”
Jimin’s eyes flicked opened. If Jungkook was hungry, Jimin wasn’t going to stop him. “Ok,” Jimin finally said.
“I’m just going to the end of the bed. I’ll make some ramen, feed it to you, then we can curl up and maybe take a nap. How’s that sound?”
“Mm,” Jimin said, feeling suddenly tired.
“I need something from you first though.”
“Mm? What’s that?”
“I’m going under your pillow,” Jungkook said. “Watch your neck.”
Jungkook was quick, and Jimin hardly realized he’d done anything when he opened his eyes and found the Maknae strapping his soft cervical collar around his own neck.
“Why?” Jimin whined.
“I just wanted to see what was so bad about it” Jungkook grinned, his bunny smile compressed by the brace, his cheeks puffing up adorably. “It’s comfy! Why don’t you like this? You don’t even need to use your muscles to hold your head up!”
“Koooook,” Jimin whined, unable to contain his smile.
“What?”
“It looks so cute on you. Look at your cheeks!” Jimin said, eyes gesturing to the mirror.
Jungkook looked at the mirror, his big eyes bugging out before disappearing into his smile. “It makes my face look all squishy,” he laughed. “Like I could have multiple chins.”
“See why I hate it?” Jimin asked.
“No. I bet it looks adorable on you. Everyone but you loves your cheeks.” Jungkook stood up and flicked the kettle on before reaching for a couple of cups of ramen.
“Too bad my opinion is the only one that matters,” Jimin pouted.
“Not even mine?”
Jimin looked up, Jungkook’s eyebrows were creased with fake sadness, his mouth curled into a frown that was flattened by the neck brace. He looked like a squished baby and Jimin wanted to squeal.
“Ok fine. Yours matters a bit.”
“So if I ask you to wear the brace, will you wear it?”
“I see what you’re doing, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Is that a yes?” He raised his eyebrows, overemphasized pout painfully evident.
“Maybe,” Jimin said, eyes jumping away from Jungkook. If he had the energy to cross his arms, he would have.
“Do I need to withhold cuddles?”
“NO!”
Jungkook laughed. “That’s what I thought.”
“Come back,” Jimin whined, reaching up with his left arm to give Jungkook a grabby hand. His head was getting cloudy, but at least he felt a bit less pain.
“Ramen, hyung. You need to eat.”
Jimin whined and pouted. Jungkook laughed.
The kettle clicked and Jungkook poured water into both ramen cups. He turned his attention to one of them, mixing it well and returning to the bed. “Maybe ramen wasn’t the best idea,” he said.
“Why?”
“It’s going to be hard for you to eat without moving your neck.”
“We’ll make it work. You should eat first though. I might take a while.”
“Nope. No way. You first.”
“Think you can sit up?” Jungkook asked, seating himself on the bed and crossing his legs. “Are you allowed to sit up?”
“I’m not supposed to strain myself. I think I’ll probably survive a few minutes while eating though,” Jimin said.
Jungkook reached around the back of his neck and unfastened the brace he was still wearing.
“You wouldn’t,” Jimin said, looking fake hurt and betrayed.
“You said it yourself, you aren’t supposed to strain yourself. Just wear it, hyung,” Jungkook said. He got up on his knees and moved to place it around Jimin’s neck, giving him space to push Jungkook away if he was really that adverse to it. He didn’t. In fact, he allowed it, even going as far as to prop himself up a bit so Jungkook could actually do the brace up around the back of his neck. Jimin flexed his neck as much as the brace would allow, then returned his eyes to Jungkook.
“Is it so bad?” Jungkook asked.
“No,” Jimin grumbled, eyes dropping to the bed. “I just think it looks dumb.”
“Does it make your neck feel better though?”
“Maybe,” Jimin replied, glaring at Jungkook.
“That’s what matters. Jimin, you’re handsome and cute and adorable no matter what you do. What matters is you not being in pain.”
Jimin eyed Jungkook again. “Will you cuddle me more after we eat?”
Jungkook smiled. “Sure.” He tore the lid off the now cooked ramen and began breaking the noodles into smaller pieces with the chopsticks so they’d be easier to eat.
Jimin pulled himself into a mostly sitting position, his upper back still sore, so he leaned against the headboard, but his upper body was mostly vertical.
“Here,” Jungkook said, moving closer and feeding him some noodles. “Careful, they’re still hot.”
Jimin raised his left hand to catch the broth as it dripped down, and Jungkook managed to get the food in his mouth, laughing a bit as he went.
“You need a bib, hyung,” Jungkook laughed.
“Shut up,” Jimin said, “you got what you wanted, now feed me!” He opened his mouth again for more, only now realizing how hungry he really was.
“Ok hyung,” Jungkook laughed, giving him another bite.
“My arms feel like they’re dead,” Jimin said, raising his left arm a bit and then dropping it.
“Muscle relaxants?” Jungkook asked.
“Is that what you gave me?”
“Think so,” Jungkook laughed, giving him some more noodles.
“I guess I’m ok with this as long as you stay with me,” Jimin said, taking the food and chewing slowly.
“I’ll stay,” Jungkook smiled.
And he did. Once they were both fed, Jungkook changed into sweatpants and helped Jimin into pajamas before they climbed into bed together. Jungkook got Jimin comfortably propped up on some pillows and curled into his side, wrapping his arms tight around Jimin’s slender torso. Jimin found himself in a comfortable position with his hands in Jungkook’s hair, stroking his soft brown locks as the younger boy’s eyes fluttered closed.
“Thanks, Kook,” Jimin whispered.
Jungkook nodded, but his exhausted expression remained the same, mouthing hanging slightly open as it so often did when he slept. It wasn’t long before Jimin felt himself drifting off to sleep as well, safe, warm and comfortable in Jungkook’s arms.