Chapter Text
After staring blankly at his phone for six minutes, he finally replies, asking if Won wants to meet today.
And as if he had been waiting, Won responds that yes, he does. He also asks if Minhyuk is free and that he’ll be waiting at Han River in two hours.
What would Yoo Kihyun do in this situation? He tries taking it from an objective point of view, making sure to add into the discussion that Won could very well be some sort of serial killer.
However, Minhyuk’s internal discussion is useless as he replies that he’ll be free and that he’ll see Won in two hours.
He grabs the bag of cereal, puts his face into it and lets out a scream.
Minhyuk is going to meet his best friend.
And crush.
Putting the cereal back into its box, he keeps it and moves to the closet.
Which is still messy from yesterday.
Deciding to forgo making another mess, Minhyuk picks up the oversized sweater sitting inside alongside the pair of jeans from yesterday.
The pair of combat boots he wore were a pain, so he opts for his Vans instead.
No makeup either.
Minhyuk doesn’t need to look like a witch, nor does he need to embarrass himself two days in a row.
In order to clear his head, he walks the journey discovered a month ago to Han River and tries to think of what to say.
It doesn’t really help clear his head at all but whatever.
He also considers getting Won a present as he walks past a flower shop. No way. Flowers didn’t always have to be romantic, yet it still felt like too much if Minhyuk gave Won flowers.
Hence he passes up on that idea and continues on his way.
Not caring about his data anymore, Minhyuk messages Won again and tells him that they can meet at the convenience store facing the river and he agrees.
Maybe it’s because of his nerves but he ends up reaching a lot earlier than the meeting time. It’s only two and Minhyuk has an hour to kill.
He ends up eating two cups of ice cream and buys five bottles of water, three of which are already in the recycling bin.
Just by eating, the hour flys by.
After coming out from the toilet, Minhyuk looks around, disappointed that Won (or anybody that could be him) isn’t here yet.
Minhyuk faces the river, enjoying the cool breeze as he views the low quality pictures from yesterday’s fansign.
Just by staring at the blurry pictures he can already feel a wave of nausea, proof of how badly it went. Telling Won about the awful impression he made on Hyungwon will probably make him feel better about it though.
The first thing Minhyuk is going to do is blurt out the experience to Won, because he’ll surely reassure him - it’s really what he needs.
While lost in his own thoughts, he feels someone tap on his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.
Thank God he went to the bathroom beforehand, because if he hadn’t Minhyuk would’ve pissed himself.
Pretending as if he hadn’t flinched, he turns around and chokes.
Won wasn’t kidding when he said he was around Hyungwon’s height.
But he’s more covered up than expected and that’s all Minhyuk can identify from him.
He’s wearing a hat, sunglasses and a black mask. The sun isn’t even out.
Minhyuk really should’ve listened to the more rational part of his brain because Won was looking like a murderer with his black coat.
“Uh, hello.” Won speaks, though it’s muffled because of the mask.
The wave Won gives Minhyuk is so shy and gentle that it calms him down instantly. This man would never harm a fly - he’s safe.
“Won? You sure are covered up. I thought you were out for my blood,” Minhyuk laughs, hearing Won laugh at his joke.
Being able to hear that laugh - out loud, feels amazing.
Without removing the mask, Won reassures Minhyuk that it’s him, Tumblr user hyungwon.
Minhyuk brightens up and his shoulders relax at the confirmation.
Feeling brave, he takes a step forward and envelops Won in the biggest and tightest hug he can muster.
The hug lasts about five seconds before Minhyuk gets embarrassed. His face feels a little warm when letting go so he prays a blush isn’t visible and drags Won to the benches outside the convenience store.
It’s there does he notice the bag hanging loosely from Won’s fingers.
“What’s that?” Minhyuk asks, pointing at the brown bag as soon as they sit down.
Won stares at his own hand, startled. Did he forget about it?
He snorts at the taller’s poor memory and Won only gives him a glare - no real anger displayed, before passing Minhyuk the bag.
With a hand on his neck, Won mumbles, “it’s for you.”
Oh.
Expecting him to elaborate more, he pauses, resulting in an awkward silence as they both wait for each other to speak first.
“Are you going to open it?” After a full minute passes, Won finally speaks up.
Oh. He was waiting for Minhyuk to open the bag.
“Sorry, silly autocorrect.” He can’t help but blurt out - mocking the excuse Won used days before.
Amused, he plays along. “This is a real life conversation, Minhyuk.” They’re stifling laughter, as if the first one to laugh loses.
“Right… how could I forget?” Shamelessly giggling now, he shyly pries the paper bag open.
The first thing that greets Minhyuk is the colour blue. It’s also incredibly soft, he discovers as he removes the object from the bag.
When he’s finally able to get a good look at the gift, he screams.
“It’s a whale!” Despite having gifted it to him, Minhyuk shoves it in Won’s face anyway, showing it off.
Won chuckles at his antics, and it reminds him of their times on Tumblr where he’d be endlessly yelling over something Monsta X did and Won would only sit back and watch, always laughing.
Minhyuk brings the whale plush toy and hugs it against his chest. “This is the best present I’ve ever received. It’s so soft? Can I name it after you?” Like water waiting to flow out of a dam that’s on the verge of breaking, he talks, unbounded.
Even though he can’t see Won’s face, the fondness radiating off him is obvious, making Minhyuk’s heart soar.
“There’s more, you know?” Won uses his knuckle to push the bag forwards, to Minhyuk.
He peeks inside, curious.
The colour that greets him this time is black.
The whale settles on his lap as he uses both hands to remove the next gift.
It’s a piece of clothing, Minhyuk observes.
“A hoodie?” He says, mostly to himself than to the man sitting opposite him.
Turning the hoodie around, he almost screams again.
Anybody else would think it’s just a normal hoodie, but Minhyuk recognizes the design.
“Didn’t Hyungwon wear this last year on the 8th of August?” If Won is surprised by how fast he notices, he doesn’t show it.
(Not like he can, with the way he’s covered up.)
Instead, he asks. “Why do you even remember that?”
“What do you mean why do I remember? It was Hyungwon’s best airport look, of course I have to remember!” Minhyuk huffs, offended. “Everyone has an outfit they love, it’s basic fan culture.”
Won laughs, clapping at his dramatics and replies, defeated. “Okay, sorry, Mr. Know It All. I assume you like the hoodie?”
Possessively hugging the article of clothing to his chest, similar to what he did before, Minhyuk tries not to shriek. “Yes I do! It feels like I just got Hyungwon’s own hoodie, is that weird?”
He laughs nervously, wondering if that’s too much.
“Oh by all means - go ahead, you can think of it that way if it makes you happy.”
Won was so chill, Minhyuk was sure he was going to burst into tears.
After years of distancing himself from people he was physically close to - he turned into what others would perceive as an empty shell.
Offline, people saw a lifeless man. Never laughing at crude jokes, never making the effort to talk to people, never trying hard enough for friendships.
Sure, there are times when he’d cry, showing off a side no one was used to - but it was never because of the people around him.
Tears would always be caused by those whom Minhyuk would never meet. At least, not regularly.
The same with positive emotions, he’d never feel happiness if it weren’t for Monsta X, and Won.
Right now, Minhyuk has never felt so alive in public. He never thought he’d get to talk to another person, face to face.
A conversation that made him ecstatic.
A conversation that made him feel all sorts of things that he never imagined would be possible.
(Since when did the feeling of joy seem unreachable, unobtainable?
Perhaps years ago, when he was beat up for simply being himself.)
“Minhyuk?” Won waved his hand in front of Minhyuk’s face, causing him to startle back to the present.
He blinked, recalling the current events. “Wait. I didn’t get you anything…” Cursing himself for throwing the flower idea away, Minhyuk glances at the gifts he received.
“Don’t worry about it, you’ve already given me the best gift I could ever get.” Minhyuk turned away from the gifts that screamed expensive and met Won’s eyes.
(Or rather his sunglasses.)
“And what is that?” Curiosity laced in his question.
“You.”
Minhyuk’s eyes widen, his heart speeds up and his cheeks grow hot.
“Wh-”
Nervously - Won was nervous, chuckling, he clarifies. “I mean… your presence? And your friendship - they all mean a lot to me.”
He stole the words right out of Minhyuk’s mouth. Won was wrong though, he was one who meant a lot to Minhyuk. It was the other way around.
“No,” Fuck, for some reason he wanted to cry. “You’re the one… you mean a lot to me, too, Won.”
That wasn’t what he wanted to say. Minhyuk wanted to scream, shout it out, tell the world, how important Won is to him and how much he loves him.
But the words caught in his throat and never came.
Won shifts closer, and Minhyuk wants to run away.
Hands cup his cheeks and he hiccups - a sob.
“Hey now, don’t cry.” Thumbs move to wipe away tears, causing Minhyuk to cry even more.
A repeat of yesterday happened after all.
He hadn’t even realized he was crying until Won was gently rubbing soft circles on Minhyuk’s cheeks, soothing him.
Won shifted the bag away and shuffled even closer - to the point where there was little to no space separating them.
When you meet your best friend for the first time, are you allowed to cry this much?
Minhyuk’s mind was blank, he focused on getting the tears to stop by facing the sky, but it didn’t work.
An arm brings him forward, and somewhere along the way a hand pulls his head into a shoulder.
Won’s shoulder.
The gesture vaguely registers in Minhyuk’s head as he rests on Won, willing the cries to stop.
A hand pats his head, calming him down and he’s never felt so grateful to anybody before.
He’s never felt so loved.
With one hand one his head and another on his back, Minhyuk collects himself.
By the time he’s done sobbing, he’s more than aware of how he just broke down in public.
And in front of Won.
Is he an ugly crier? He doesn’t know but hopes not. How unsightly that would be.
Eventually, Minhyuk lifts his head from Won’s shoulder and flinches at the water bottle that gets passed to him.
“Are you okay? Drink up.” This was Won alright, always caring for him.
Taking the bottle, he tilts his head so it’s more efficient and downs half the bottle.
After Won takes the bottle away from him, Minhyuk grabs the toy still on his lap and smashes his face into it.
Groaning, he mumbles an apology out. “I’m so sorry you had to see that and thank you for helping me.” It comes out extremely muffled, but if the ruffle to his hair is any indication, Minhyuk is certain Won understood.
Maybe Minhyuk is touch starved, because the feeling of fingers running through his hair feels incredible - and he’s never felt so comfortable.
“No worries, it happens and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen you cry.” How could he forget? He’s sent pictures of his crying face before.
At least he won’t have to worry about embarrassing himself, past Minhyuk has already done enough of that.
The movement in his hair stops and Minhyuk peeks up from the whale plush. “Do you want to tell me about what happened yesterday? I saw that you cried.”
He immediately dives into the toy again, groaning louder.
After a few minutes of whining and soft laughs from Won, he feels better.
“Thank you,” Minhyuk says one last time before clearing his throat.
Won removes his hand from his hair and sits up straighter, attention fully on him.
With a new sense of calmness, Minhyuk gets straight into the events from yesterday.
Soon, he’s giddy with joy, when was the last time he was allowed to talk nonstop without being told to shut up?
When was the last time someone paid full attention to him as he blabbered on and on about his love and when was the last time someone looked at him with so much affection?
If Minhyuk believed in soulmates, Won would definitely be his.
Halfway through the recount, his eyes trail from Won’s face (which isn’t any interesting to look at at all, since all Minhyuk sees is his reflection) to his hand.
The hand that had comforted him just moments (an hour, actually) before.
This is only to make the scene more realistic Minhyuk tells himself as he grabs Won’s hand and interlaces their fingers together.
Eyes focused on their hands, he informs Won of what it’d felt like to finally hold hands with Hyungwon, despite his crisis.
In an attempt to let him know what happened after Minhyuk started crying, he tries to speak but fails.
Every time he opens his mouth a squeak or squeal comes out instead.
Although Minhyuk can’t actually see his face, he feels Won’s fondness radiate off him once more.
At last, he tells Won about the interactions that seemed like hallucinations. Firstly, the soft “more than you’ll ever know,” followed by the birthday wish and lastly, the nod.
“Do you think I imagined it? Because I’m the unluckiest guy on the planet, so I can’t see why Hyungwon would say that, or why he’d nod at me?” Even though Won didn’t attend the fansign, getting answers from him just felt right.
Without waiting, Minhyuk rambles on, “but I don’t know… I looked away super quickly when he glanced at me because there’s no way I’ll be able to look Hyungwon in the eyes again.”
Not stopping to even catch his breath, he continues, “and how did Hyungwon even know my birthday?”
He feels something on his hand and realizes they’re still holding hands, Won’s fingers now playing with Minhyuk’s.
His breath gets caught in his throat and that’s when Minhyuk starts to notice the similarities between Tumblr user hyungwon and the Monsta X member, Hyungwon.
The thought doesn’t last for long though, because as much as he loves Hyungwon, he can’t replace him with anybody else.
And Won is his own person, Minhyuk can’t use him as a substitute for Hyungwon, even if they kinda look the same.
Won hums, bursting him out of his little bubble.
“You know…” Minhyuk glups. “I think Hyungwon really meant that second part, as well as the nod.” Won is looking straight at him, hands still busy.
Minhyuk might need a heart transplant after the day is over, because behind the dark sunglasses, are eyes softer than anything in the world and he wonders if this is what love feels like.
Not chasing after idols, not the useless replies he gives the official Twitter account, not reblogging posts every day.
It’s the feeling of being with his favourite person, enjoying time alone with him with simple acts like talking and Minhyuk realizes he’s in love.
Not that he hadn’t known before, he’s not that oblivious to miss something so obvious but the feeling is more apparent now.
He’s in love with his only friend.
Won.
A man who he knows close to nothing about.
Minhyuk feels his heart sink.
It’s funny and sad how the two people he loves the most are people he barely knows anything about.
The silence becomes louder and he needs to reply.
Killing any and every ounce of affection he has for Won, he smiles. “Thanks again, this time for listening to me ramble, no one usually has the patience for that.”
Minhyuk puts the whale and hoodie back into the bag and stands.
Hands still connected, he adds on, “let’s go for a walk, the sun is setting so the sky is going to become really pretty!”
When Won gets up, he lets go and Minhyuk’s heart drops again.
Smiling brightly despite the ache in his heart, he waves Won over towards the river and they make their way back to the street.
Standing side by side, chatting about anything and everything, Minhyuk dreams of a time where he’ll get to hold his lovers’ hand. And when he tilts his head to the side, he wonders if the same fond smile will greet him.
What Minhyuk has now are muffled responses and one sided glances.
But he’ll make do.
Soon enough, the sky turns into a colour too pretty to be put into words and Minhyuk hits Won in excitement.
“Look! We need to take a picture together, hurry!” They move towards the river, Minhyuk holding his phone up.
He tries not to blush at the way Won’s head moves closer to his, almost laying on top of it.
About ten selfies later, the sky turns into another shade and they take pictures of it instead.
(Minhyuk is so focused on the sight in front of him, he doesn’t notice his companion taking pictures of the real view.)
They make the way out of the park as it turns dark and he frowns at the ground.
This is where they part and the same sinking feeling resurfaces to haunt him.
Moving aside so they don’t block the path, they end up under a tree.
His eyes still glued to the ground, Minhyuk is taken aback when arms wrap around his waist.
Although they’re close in height, Won leans down to bump their foreheads together and Minhyuk combusts.
They’re so close.
Casting his eyes upwards, Minhyuk can see Won’s eyes clearly behind the shades.
All he feels is love, upon seeing how warm they are. They’re focused on him as if trying to memorize him, afraid of forgetting.
Minhyuk’s heart is thudding painfully against his rib cage, and it’s only after Won moves away that he starts breathing again.
“Happy late birthday, Minhyuk,” Won’s voice is loud and clear. “See you next time.”
His mask is off, and he’s grinning cheekily.
Before Minhyuk has the chance to react, he’s already running off in the other direction.
He walks home completely lost, unaware of his surroundings.
It’s a miracle that Minhyuk arrives home safely, with how distant he was.
Everything that happens after that is automatic, he takes a shower and eats instant noodles for dinner.
When he’s done, he collapses onto his bed and stares warily at his phone.
His hand hovers over the Tumblr app before Minhyuk making his first conscious decision of the night and he goes to Twitter instead.
Which is apparently the wrong choice because as soon as refreshes his timeline, Monsta X tweets.
It’s from Hyungwon, and his heart races.
Minhyuk clicks on the pictures - they’re of the sky painted in beautiful hues of pink and blue, the exact same sky he’d been admiring with Won.
He swipes right and makes an indistinct noise.
The next picture is of Minhyuk, it’s definitely him - his soft pink sweater more prominent than anything.
The caption. He needs to read the bloody caption.
That heart transplant sounds real useful, right about now.
“Nice to meet you, sunshine.”