Chapter Text
Back home, in Kazakhstan, Otabek doesn't really have the opportunity to ride backseat. He’s either going solo, locally, or taking Leo out, sometimes farther into the countryside. And he does enjoy driving! There are few things like the danger of being so close to traffic, going faster than what nature ever intended. But he doesn’t know if he’s never sat back because he's never had a chance or because he didn’t think he would like it. Regardless, wrapping his arms tight around Leo, pushing 100 kilometers per hour in the early twilight, he is absolutely enamored. It’s a smooth ride, provided both by the motorcycle and by Leo’s driving, and Otabek nearly falls asleep a few times.
He’s determined not to, though. He is always hyper-focused when he’s driving, on being alert and paying attention to the road and solely the road. But taking backseat means he can sightsee and sincerely absorb the passing world around them. In the city, going 48 or 30 or whatever measurement of speed he’s supposed to be using, he is absorbed in reading every new sign they drive by, all LED and flashing. The sun is laying low on the horizon and he can feel the signature October cold flash that he’s nearly forgotten during his stay with Leo.
When they move on to the countryside, the rolling hills and so-far-but-so-close mountain ranges make him feel like a kid. He pulls back a little from Leo, though still holding on tight with his hands, and lets the wind rush over him. He inhales deeply and breathes out with the wind. He gazes back out at the fields and they remind him of Kazakhstan, though less green, and he’s overcome with another wishful longing for home. Twice in one day, he thinks to himself, who do I think I am. He sighs and shrugs it off, closing his eyes. Something stays with him, though, like a scribble he can’t make sense out of, but he knows it’s there. It’s too much to think about, so he lets himself forget in exchange for peace for the rest of the drive.
Like with planes, Otabek is used to long rides, so an hour passes like nothing. The unfamiliar territory draws his attention well enough, so when they are close to the amusement park, Otabek sees the winding roller coasters first, lit up in the early autumn evening, and lets out a sigh of anticipation. Soon, they roll next to the toll booth outside the parking lot. Otabek tries to fish his wallet out from deep inside his jacket, but Leo beats him to the punch.
“Listen, today? Don’t even worry about anything,” he says once he parks the bike safely. Leo fiddles with the back compartment to stick their helmets in and gets it open after a few tries. “I’ve got everything under control, and I just want you to have fun!” He winks, twirling the keys around his pointer finger in a likely rehearsed move, but Otabek still smiles. He feels so indulged that he feels it's familiar warmth flow through his veins, and he wants to protest. But with Leo’s insistence, the planning that apparently went into transporting them here, and the wink, Otabek lets it go. He shuts his mouth tight to resist asking why and hands Leo his helmet.
“You’re the expert around here.”
“Then I will expertly guide you!” Leo snaps the compartment shut and offers his hand.
Together, they walk through the gates, and up ahead, Otabek can see actors and his attention is piqued. As their tickets are paid, he steps forward in awe of the exhibition and performance of minimum wage workers shouting into people’s faces and he loves it. There are rags hanging from trees, and skulls hanging from the rags. Ominous lights cast shadows over motionless characters who soon jump out at patrons. A fake fog creeps around the crowd, and Otabek hears the screams from a few yards away, screams from rides and scares alike.
As a skater, he is known to be a fan to good performance, and in the dark commons area, he wants to scan every element at once. He feels Leo join him at his side and pick a map off of an information wall.
“Leo, do you think it’s too late to change my theme for the season,” he asks as they begin to leisurely walk down the path. It’s a little strange to see, among the actors and haunting music, but they’re comfortable together.
“To what?” Leo studies his map, away from the commotion. Otabek can see his eyebrows furrow together, out of the corner of his eye, and remembers when Leo’s sister told him he didn’t used to do that. Even if that memory is amusing, he focuses on that point of body language.
“Horror,” Otabek says absentmindedly, and Leo laughs, but it’s short and doesn’t hold the same freedom.
“Yeah, the makeup is, um, it’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” Leo is still staring intently down at the map, not at the makeup, and Otabek gets the impression the pyrotechnics are lost on him. He pulls his arm out from the link it shares with Leo’s and reaches around to wrap around his tight shoulders. Leo peers up at Otabek and smiles weakly. “But I’m afraid you’d have to wait till next year.”
“Sucks.”
“It does. Anyway, I was looking over where we’re at, and I think we should head over to this…”
For the most part, in the first hour, Leo leads the way. He lets it slip that this isn’t the first time he’s been to this park, but he is new to the horror aspect that features in October. The neon lights and fog and decoration catches both their eyes, so they take photos, so many photos. Because of that, they move at a fairly slow pace, and by the time the moon is fairly big, they are barely making it to the first ride.
Waiting in a long line, Leo and Otabek begin to idly speak, inching slowly up the line, before Otabek feels a tug on the back of his jacket. He seizes up a little, and Leo takes notice, and they both turn around to face 3 pale-faced kids.
“Ah.” Otabek breathes out. He doesn’t consider himself to be exactly the best with fans, especially in public, especially in nonofficial settings. He glances at Leo to hopefully take the reins, only to catch his eyes in a near-panicked ‘ what do we say to these children? ’
One of the older ones, likely a teenager, sticks out his hand to Otabek, clearly shaking but he shouts, “It’s an honor to meet you! Sir!” He would have caught the attention of nearby bystanders if they were not in a situation in which screaming was expected. His companions side eye him and grimace, but they stand close by.
“Um. Me.” Otabek states plainly, like trying to ask a question but instead stares down at the hand. He slowly takes it and shakes it equally as slowly. “...Nice. Thanks.”
“I’m! I’m a huge fan! Mr. Altin! I don’t, I can’t, like, skate, but I’m a huge fan! But I can skate on land! I don’t know if that’s called somethin’ different, but! I do do that,” the teenager shakes eagerly, energy spiking every so often throughout his short rant, and his other hand emphasizes those spikes very clearly in its gestures. He steps back when he finishes, as he puffs out his chest and smiles almost manically.
“We know we shouldn’t be, like, bothering you like this, especially on a day like this , and with your.. Your, uh, your guy. Your dude…. Your main man-- but um, we would all super appreciate a kinda quick, like, photo? To, like, prove you’re legit here, ‘cause all of our friends are never gonna believe we actually saw you, ha.” One laughs nervously, fidgeting with her phone. She doesn’t look really straight in Otabek’s face-- or Leo’s, for that matter-- but she smiles firmly and holds her phone out.
Otabek is tempted to ask her what she means like ‘a day like this,’ but he assumes she means a day off. He’s used to fans being unique in their word choice, so he merely stares at the phone and turns his head to Leo. After seeing a nod, accompanied by a discrete smile, he says, “Of course, it’s no trouble.” The first two, the ones that have spoken, turn to each other in spirited excitement and position themselves on both of his sides for a series of selfies and filters that he’s never seen before. They make faces and hand signs and Otabek tries his best to follow along. Once they finish, the girl shoves a Sharpie and a map of the Tri-State area to sign into his hands, explaining about “it’s all I had on hand” and “I can’t even really read maps, but it looked like a cool souvenir.” He’s struck by the fact that somebody, multiple somebodies, can and do recognize him, so he makes sure to make his handwriting specifically legible.
Out of the corner of his eye, Otabek sees the last of the trio, a boy who appears younger than the other two, talking directly to Leo. There is something particularly sweet about the way Leo talks to younger fans. He likes to squat down to face them and he speaks in a very welcoming tone, something Otabek wishes he could just as easily emulate. Otabek assumes it’s because Leo has younger sisters, but it feels like more than that. There’s simple compassion, and even if Otabek is unintentionally not the absolute best with kids, Leo is kind enough for both of them. In the middle of his observation of Leo, the boy to his left clears his throat.
“We’re good now, I think,” he says, darting his eyes away from the phone and to Otabek. He gives the girl a look, and she raises her eyebrows. Otabek doesn’t know what that means, but he nods. They say their goodbyes and express their gratitude, and pull the youngest of them away into the park.
“I.. would think you’d be more easily caught in your home country than me,” Otabek mumbles, watching the group run off. He feels light, and that's not very surprising. It’s always fun to be recognized and admired, even when unsuspecting.
“Yeah, but you know.. You are the pretty boy type, after all,” Leo remarks offhandedly and he has his hand recaptured and squeezed tightly in response.
“What does that mean, ” and Leo laughs.
They move in line, and soon enough, the couple is at the front. Above the boarding area, rails shake and rumble at the speed of the rollercoaster rushing into waiting position, and Leo quietly confesses to Otabek that it’s still rather disconcerting, and Otabek smiles for him. As instructions are read out by an operator in zombie makeup, they are strapped onto the ride, tight and secure and hopefully safe. Early in the night, surrounded by staggering creatures of the darkness (who, curiously enough, are also sitting along for the ride), mechanisms click and whir in place and with a yank of a lever, the rollercoaster rumbles to its slow start, in its timeless way.
Leo grabs Otabek’s hand nearly immediately after it starts it’s haltingly sluggish ascent to the peak. Otabek glances to him, but Leo stares sternly forward. He still notices Otabek inspecting him.
“I’m, I’m not scared.”
“Of course not.”
“I can hear that you don’t believe me.”
Otabek shugs noncommittally but fails to keep a smile off his face. Amongst all the chatter around them, he feels optimistic in a dramatic but promising way. The anticipation building up in his belly is probably feeding that, but he is satisfied with his life, in this moment. Like it’s all working out, and it genuinely feels like it is. The wind bites his face, and he has no fear. The ride jumps over a gear, alarming everyone inside, and he has no fear.
Otabek chances a look at Leo. He looks and regards a man who he’s known for the majority of his life, or, at least, the parts that matter. They reach the peak of the first fall of the night, and Otabek can see the wide expanse of lights and other rides and the city far away. He stares and stares, for what feels like ages on this high, and in the car, in the middle of strangers that will stay strangers, until Leo meets his eyes. Otabek smiles
Leo smiles back, nervously, and before either of them can do anything else, the rollercoaster plunges.
In Otabek’s opinion, it’s an enjoyable ride. Neat and fast enough that he’s not regretting it. The upside down bits were cool. But when he studies Leo and sees him wide-eyed and blank-faced, he frowns. “Are you… good?” Otabek asks gingerly, ask other people begin to exit the cars. He stands up and steps out of the car, holding a hand out.
“Yeah.. Yeah, I am,” Leo says as he pushes himself up. He grips Otabek’s hand to lunge himself forward and stumbles through his first steps on land, but catches himself quick. Otabek squints suspiciously, but he pulls him close by the hand as they walk out. There’s a small gift shop at the exit, promoting the ride with clothing and souvenirs and on sight, Leo quickly excuses himself to go explore. While he waits, Otabek spots a big screen above patrons. Scrolling on it, there appears to be photos taken of the passengers right after the initial drop. Otabek can see the typical freaked out people, and his eyes roam until he finds the one he was looking for.
Leo and him.
He stares at it a little. He wasn’t expecting there to be cameras and it’s interesting to see how he looks when he’s not aware he’s being snapped. But what really catches his attention is Leo, because of course it is. No longer paying attention to that fact, he sees himself, in-photograph Otabek, staring straight ahead, a little manic and a lot exhilarated. Next to him, Leo’s eyes are trained on him, wind whipping wildly through his hair. He stares at that still image for much too long, long enough for Leo to start tugging at his jacket sleeve.
“I’m done, we can go now.” When he comes back to the present moment, he catches Leo tucking in an envelope into his jacket inside pocket. Paying it no mind, Otabek only nods and together, they walk to the next ride.
Except, it’s not so much a ride as it is an experience, one called Pharaoh’s Curse. All either of them can hear from inside are screams, from patrons and actors alike.
“It’s either this or Planet Zombie ,” Leo weighs their options out aloud as they stand at the rocky mouth of the attraction. An actor dragging his leg behind him comes up close and into Leo’s face, silent and watchful. He stares right back, and despite Otabek's state of concern, he knows they can’t touch each other, so he replies with relative ease.
“Planet Zombie looks a little far. And I would like for you to keep your stomach.” The actor jerks his head in Otabek’s direction, and Otabek raises a thumbs up at the performance. The actor stalks off to terrorize other people best he can, but Otabek can see his shoulders and face pull tight in order to stay in character.
“That’s very considerate of you, but I can keep it down without any help, thank you very much.” Leo points out coyly and takes Otabek in arm. “You’d keep me safe, though, wouldn’t you?”
“Ahh… If I must.” Otabek sighs grandly, but his act is seen through effortlessly and Leo smirks in amusement. Together, next to similarly tight-knit groups, they step into the darkness.
Much like the rest of the park, the area is doused in cobwebs and dust, but there’s a much more ancient feel to it. True to the name, like stepping down into the depths of history, the jagged walls and the skeletons embedded in them pushes people closer into each other. A cold breeze runs through the hall and the chilling melody that echoes only strengthens the tingles running up and down everyone’s backs. When Otabek reaches to touch an engraving on the wall, a pained groan booms from behind him, presumably from an actor dressed in dirty strips of fabric. He is indeed shocked, that first time, not that he would call it being ‘scared,’ but when Leo eyes him with a knowing smile, Otabek grimaces.
The idea of Pharaoh's Curse -- and other similarly themed exhibitions, Otabek assumes-- is essentially a very long hallway with the good scares and well-put assortments of props. Even though he doesn’t mean to spoil the frights, it gets old fairly quick and Otabek gets back to admiring the artistry of it all. Being the good man he is, however, he does hold Leo close and snug, through every well-timed ambush and eerie pause of the music. It’s all at least a good excuse to be valiant and courteous in an unfairly easy way, and it’s not like either of them were exactly surprised by the arrangement. It’s comfortable in a way that, being surrounded by ‘ancient’ artifacts and torn ropes and mummies, is probably way out of place.
In a simple way, Otabek loves it.
Another rollercoaster follows after, and then another exhibition, and one ride that drops them nearly illegally fast (in Leo’s decisive opinion), and they end up breaking in a good dozen attractions in brisk succession. After catching their breath, the pair decide it’s a good point to stop for food. They stop at a place called Diner 37, mostly because the name sounds normal enough, and they are greeted by what they would expect of an 80’s themed horror restaurant: blood-spattered waitresses, menus full of wordplay, and a cheesy backlog of Halloween music. They order with relative ease because the diner seems to be free of doll people and ax murderers and Leo lays the park map flat on the table between them.
“We knocked out most of the good stuff, except for Blood Bayou , but that’s kinda far so I dunno if we can make it if it’s… eleven-something… Most of this right side is, like, stores and stuff, and I don’t think you’d be super hot on that.” Leo points around on the map, and Otabek does see vaguely familiar names. One catches his eyes, though, the Total Darkness one. Even though they have been walking in the general area, his boyfriend hasn’t even mentioned it. Does he think Otabek is afraid of the dark? That idea does amuse Otabek momentarily, and he drops that consideration as soon as swiftly as it enters his mind.
“11:27,” Otabek fills in and nods along, sipping from a soda cup full of lemonade.
“What? Right, yeah, 11:27, I can make that work…” Leo narrows his eyes down at the map, and he starts pursing his mouth. Otabek recognizes the gears at work in Leo’s eyes and nudges at his hair. When Leo peeks up, he meets Otabek’s scrutinous gaze.
“What is it?”
Otabek strengthens his gaze until Leo decides to get the hint.
“No, it’s nothing to worry about!” He jazzes his hands in front of him, smiling apologetically. “I just, um, I don’t wanna keep you up too long?”
Otabek is tempted not to take that at face value, but he doesn’t wanna make a fuss out of nothing. He twists his mouth, but nods. Their barely a meal comes soon after and they fall to easy conversation after taking care of formalities. They talk about the pertinent things, like opinions on rides and the setting, and then into more grand scheme subjects, like programs and the ongoing season. In theory, work talk during a night out would be frowned upon, but Otabek finds it natural when ‘work talk’ centers around music composition and tempo and whatnot. All this talk of technicality interspersed with artistry makes Otabek experience the passion Leo has for their sport, for music, for living! All over again and this makes him smile in the middle of Leo thoroughly explaining his costume process of the past years after Otabek delivered a low blow at his choices.
“--Especially if it’s lyrical, that changes everything! And the judges don’t tick off points if it looks ugly, I would even say it’s more artistic and performative if it looks ugly… Why are you looking at me like that?” Leo stops amidst his demonstration to watch Otabek’s closed mouth smile grow wider and wider until he’s grinning. He tries to hide behind his hand, but the sight, in turn, makes Leo start smiling until he breaks out laughing. And that makes Otabek laugh, too, from deep in his chest. He laughs over the absurdity of running out of Leo’s place onto a plane, onto a bike that Leo drove (very well, if Otabek may add), and the romanticism of escaping to a totally new situation just because, and Otabek is in love, both with the concept and Leo.
“I- I’m not looking at you in any way,” Otabek manages out, but he knows he doesn’t sound very convincing. He eventually succeeds in holding in his ridiculous laughter. “I hope you know I love you so much. Wholly and gratefully. I don’t know what respectable deed I did for which old woman, but I’m glad I met you.”
Leo’s laughter fizzles out soon after he says that, but his smile stays strong. He shifts his attention back down to the map, and Otabek can see the tips of his ears deepen in color. “You’re always saying such corny stuff,” Leo talks quietly, like the patrons from two tables away are going to hear, like it’s only their private moment to share and remember and cherish. Otabek doesn’t think there’s anything special about this specific moment; he’s been told before he can be more than a little forthright.
“I don’t mean to.”
“I figure you don’t but it’s a cute perk. I love you, too.” Leo grins widely, and it fills out Otabek’s heart. He’s heard that phrase dozens of time, in dozens of contexts, but from Leo’s mouth, it never fails to make him feel like a sweet piano melody and the sickest violin swell imaginable. He looks away to sip from his drink, a little embarrassed to burst out so easily. Only a few seconds later, though, Leo takes his hand and squeezes with mild urgency.
“C’mon, let's go to one last thing before I take you home.” Leo pulls Otabek’s hand close to his chest and stands, effectively pulling him up. Not that he wasn’t going to follow anyway.
Leo leaves a twenty on their table, probably way too much for a couple of drinks and fries, but he is quick to pull Otabek out and back into the crowds of the park outside. They weave in between other groups, much quicker than before, until they make it to the entrance of what Otabek had thought was forgotten: Total Darkness . A maze, from what it looks like, and totally silent, too.
“Ah.”
“What, you’re not afraid of the dark, are you?”
Otabek rolls his eyes and steps first into the maze, Leo close to his side.
What especially sets this section apart from the rest of the park was the atmosphere: cold, uninviting, and blinding. The walls of bushes effectively muffle any noise from other attractions. And there is no false advertising, it really is utterly dark, the little light that does seep in does little to help. They bump into other people and corners, but there are no actors, thankfully. Leo clings close to Otabek, either from the temperature or actual fear. He also periodically checks his phone, more than he had before. It doesn’t bother Otabek, more so it heightens his curiosity.
“You’ve got an appointment?” He whispers close to Leo’s ear the next time it happens, and he feels him jump before Leo coughs into his fist.
“Um, no? I’ve just, I’m tryna to, kinda, do somethin’,” he mumbles back, turning a left and pulling Otabek with him.
“Like what?”
“A thing , trust me.” Another left, then a right.
“You know I do.”
Leo walks them through twists and turns, and Otabek is almost convinced he’s speeding through the maze he’s previously memorized until they reach a dead end. It’s not the first one, but when Otabek tries to turn around, Leo holds him back.
“Stay here, for me.”
Otabek looks behind himself for a second, at the pathway, and then up to the clouded moon. He does stay.
A wind rolls through their corner, and Leo steps closer, close enough that Otabek can feel his warm breath. In the moments between, the moon is given space through the clouds, and Otabek can see Leo’s face. Sharp in some place, soft in the others, tired, and nothing short of the best-looking man he’s ever seen. Moonlight fills his eyes and it pulls the brown out from Leo’s normally dark eyes.
“What do you need?” Otabek regains his senses as soon as he can, once he realizes they were staring at each other.
“I just thought it would be best to have a more private moment for us.” Leo leans against Otabek’s chest until his head rests on the crook of his neck. Leo sneaks his arms around his waist, reaching around grabs his own hand and properly hold his boyfriend. Otabek thinks Leo can surely feel his heart beating madly now, even after how long they’ve been together. He mostly used to Leo’s abrupt expressions of physical affection, so he resolves to move his arms up to hang up off Leo’s shoulders.
“For what exactly.” Otabek doesn’t really ask so much as he mindlessly comments. Leo brushes up against his neck like there’s an itch on his nose, and it tickles Otabek a little bit too much to be unintentional.
“Check the time for me, sweetheart. Please,” Leo speaks into his neck. Otabek fumbles to reach down and turn on his phone. He has yet to check it after hours, and he ignores texts and notifications. He has an unusual spike of them, but he swipes them away rather than sparing any time to read them. The time reads 11:59 PM, and he tells Leo as such.
“Oh, that’s close, good,” Leo breathes out. He gives Otabek one long squeeze before pulling his arms out and holding his boyfriend’s face in his face. Otabek adjusts his arms in response and instead holds on to Leo’s biceps with either hand.
“Otabek Altin, I’ve known you for so long, for what feels like my whole life, except over and over again. When I met you, I was a totally different person than who I am today, and you’ve kinda been a huge reason why. You are such a— just amazing human being, and I’m so, so, so thankful I managed to not scare you off and that you let me inside your life. I, I know I sound kinda outta my mind, I’m not even close to how cool and smooth you are when you bust out your little monologues, but I wanted to try it. So here I am.”
Through this ‘monologue’, as Leo puts it, Otabek is starting to feel like they aren’t standing in a maze in freezing temperatures. His whole body heats up, his face the most, and his eyes are widening by the word.
“As I’m saying all of this, and as I watch your face, I’m beginning to realize it kinda sounds like I’m tryna ask something really huge and important of you before even talking about it with you at all and I promise this is not the case!,” Leo’s voice begins to rise in pitch near the end of his sentence, and he pauses to clear his throat before he continues speaking. “Okay, I don’t got much-- actually, okay, no, that’d be too much.” Leo starts to mumble, and whatever composure he might have had quickly fell through. “Um, Otabek?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you so fucking much. Happy birthday, baby.” And Leo pulls Otabek’s face in, and he kisses him. The moon is full enough and there’s rustling about and Otabek can feel his phone begin to vibrate with incoming messages and probably some calls, but it doesn’t matter. Leo is kissing him and it finally hits him what this entire excursion was for.
On this good, all-American holiday called Halloween, precisely 20 years ago, Otabek was born.
Huh.
It explains a lot, and Otabek is almost embarrassed that he hadn’t noticed. In his own defense, he doesn’t consider his own birthday to be the most important thing in his calendar. That title is reserved for the likes of a certain somebody, a somebody who has pulled back in confusion, likely over Otabek’s lack of engagement.
“Hey, what is it?”
Otabek has to blink a few times to focus on Leo. Leo, who is still holding Otabek’s face. Leo, who drove them out here on a motorcycle on a license he had gotten in secret. Leo, who had pulled all of this off and still has the audacity to look apprehensive.
There are some things that can only be translated into touch. In Leo’s case, many things. Salutation, success, satisfaction, and other emotions that don’t start with the letter ‘s’. In this instance, it was simply love.
Rather than answer with what is probably going to come off as clueless, Otabek leans forward, making up for his blankness, and with relief, Leo meets him in the middle. His hands leave Otabek’s face to become subject to the chill October winds, but it doesn't matter much to either of them. Leo’s hands settle down on Otabek’s hips, but he barely notices it.
“I really cannot believe you sometimes, Leo.”
“Says the guy who forgot his own birthday.”
Otabek lays his cheek onto Leo’s coat collar. “I can’t remember the last time someone besides my family bothered to be so kind to me for my birthday. You’re going to have to forgive me.” A few seconds pass before he feels Leo move to kiss the top of his head.
“Already forgiven!” He reassures cheekily, patting Otabek’s coats a good few times for good measure. As much as he’d hate to admit, it is calming, and his mind starts to slow down. It gives Otabek time to comprehend all this semi-new information, and it certainly presents some immediate questions.
“How far ahead did you have this planned?”
“Um… I got my license back in March, I think, after I came back from visiting you. I dunno, something about seeing you at the handlebars made me feel like? Inspired, to put it lightly… The park bit, though, I didn’t think of that until maybe a few months ago, and that’s when I started talking to Ramira about motorcycles and stuff.” Leo starts to pull back from the hug and visibly shudders as wind blows over the both of them.
“That far?”
“I think that’s an insult, but I’m gonna let it slide this time.”
“No, it’s not, but nevertheless, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Leo mock-graciously responds and Otabek cracks a smile. Another cold snap runs through, and it dramatically wipes the smile off Otabek’s face.
“...Can we finish this thing now, I kind of want to go home now. With you.”
“Yeah, of course.” Leo leads him out the maze relatively quick, setting doubt into Otabek’s mind if he’s actually came before not. There’s an announcement on the intercom stating the park was to soon close its doors, and they walk with a little more urgency after that. The actors are less lively and more “thank you for coming” and bows. Very Twilight Zone-y, almost.
They don’t talk much while getting to the bike and driving out. It’s a silence that lets imagination run wild, like real monsters lurk in the long shadows cast by the moon. As that idea passes through Otabek’s mind, he knows it’s seriously bedtime. The signs they had passed hours before looked much more technicolor and fantastical, and even if the wind was outrageously fierce, he feels an electricity only gifted by late-night cruising and being in love.
It’s already well after 1 AM when Leo pulls them into the driveway. He has a key, of course, and the two of two blindly feel their way to the guest room. The tile floor doesn’t do them any favors, echoing each footstep like a bomb.
“Leo, Leo, where’s the bathroom?” Otabek digs out his toothbrush from their duffel bag and watches Leo struggle to pull off one of his shoes.
“Two doors down,” he answers and Otabek motions for him to maybe untie his shoes before tugging them off. He heads down the hall and begins to brush his teeth as quietly as he can. During the mundanity of dental hygiene, he stares into his reflection. It feels a little off to stand in a stranger’s bathroom. He starts to think, as somebody does in the early hours of the day.
He remembers their time, in the maze. Or more specifically, he picks it apart, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it in the short hour since. He categorizes it, flips it over and over, zeroes in on minute details, all to surely cement the incident in his long-term memory. He cannot risk anything otherwise.
He remembers the lead-up most vividly. The whole “let’s have a mysterious but fantastic day-long date and let me lead you into a private area and be super lovey-dovey” set-up was pretty clear, even for Otabek, even if he ended up being wrong.
But what struck him most is the acceptance, if he could almost call it that. Because what Otabek in those fleeting moments, the whirl of overwhelmingly positive emotions, could rival any victorious high. It wasn’t very in line with the brand Otabek has been known for, but it still felt… Comfortable. Natural. Right?
In the flickering orange light, Otabek’s blood ran hot, much too hot. In the mirror, he watches his face turn redder and redder.
Could you imagine? Can I imagine? Is this allowed? Otabek lets himself think, and after a beat of hesitation, he lets himself imagine. He lets himself imagine the most basic of a ring, of another ring, of fancy occasions and family and cake and the color white. His stomach twists and turns, his toothbrush becomes slippery in his ever-tightening grip, but Otabek doesn’t dare watch his own reflection unravel at the mere thought of, if he can even say it, marriage.
Augh.
He spits out minty foam and with it, the short-lived fantasy ends. He washes his face and does the rest of his business with relative ease, and he’s back in the room before he knows it. Leo is already down to whatever he chooses to sleep in.
Finally, after a long day of well-planned spontaneity, they fall into bed. Otabek is exhausted in every possible interpretation of the word, but he still puts in his effort into Leo’s conversation, his way of keying down after a lot of everything. Leo’s back presses up right up against Otabek, with his phone in hand, showing off all the photos he took. He asked for opinions, deleting a few if they looked too shaky or repetitive. Most of it relegated to Leo swiping through his photos as Otabek watches over his shoulder and wonders when they had been taken because he does not remember a single one.
“How early is our flight tomorrow,” Otabek asks the ceiling. The bright light hurts his eyes so he doesn’t look directly at Leo or his phone very long, for once in his life, but he still catches him from the corner of his blurry eyesight. It still is, mind you, an incredible view, not that Otabek would share that aloud.
“10 AM, I know you’ve got an appointment later today. Don’t worry.” Leo shuts off his phone and sits up to throw it down by their feet. He does some quick stretching, visibly shutting his first yawn. It looks like he’s in the last few laps of energy for the day. Otabek reaches up and pretends to stretch too, if only to make Leo feel like it was a thing people did together regularly in bed.
“I don’t worry that much,” Otabek insists halfheartedly. As Leo lazily pulls on his limbs, Otabek can hear the pops and opens his mouth to sprout an old wives tale about arthritis before he realizes it would not serve his case very well.
“If that’s what lets you fall asleep, sure.” Leo smiles without a hurry and falls back. Like on the plane, once he situates himself comfortably, he is soon asleep. His breathing evens out and for a few minutes, Otabek watching him. He once again recounts the entire day’s events, and farther back to his current stay in the United States. Every morning, every practice, every meal.
And so it’s here, at 1:21 AM, in the coldest room imaginable, Otabek stares Leo straight in the face, and, before he too falls asleep while intertwined with the person he cannot imagine loving any more, says:
“I would’ve said yes, for the record.”