Chapter Text
Jesse kept his mouth shut all the way back to the safehouse. He’d just plunged their mission even deeper into jeopardy, he’d looked their targets right in the face, and he knew that if it came to saving the mission over his soul mate, he wouldn’t do it. He would let himself get hurt before he inflicted any pain onto the man he was destined to fall for. He knew it the moment their eyes met.
Reyes didn’t try to get him to speak. There was nothing he could do to get him to, anyway. Jesse was frozen with the knowledge that he would betray his cause for the sake of that man… Gabe would tell him he was jumping to conclusions, that even soul mates didn’t always get along, that soul mates weren’t everything. People still fell in love without a special mark telling them to. Jesse understood all of these things. There had been some point in time that he resented how big and beautiful his soul mark was, how bad it made others feel…
...How resentful others got when it came to his mark. Deadlock was safe only because he kept his mark a secret. Hell, when on regular Blackwatch missions, he still kept his gloves on. He couldn’t risk anyone noticing it and then spreading his connection to it around; it would wreck any persona he’d created, it’d blow his cover in tons of situations, he’d endanger Blackwatch if they connected him to it--
Jesse took a deep breath and let it all out in a shaky sigh. Gabe glanced back at him, worry glinting in his eyes despite his calm expression.
“You okay back there, kid?”
Jesse straightened his back.
“Uh. Yessir, I’m good,” he said, voice wavering towards the end.
Gabe huffed in response. They were getting close to the safehouse, Jesse noticed, and the ball of anxiety in his gut twisted. They’d have to debreif. They needed to discuss what happened, who those kids were, and what their plan was. Jesse hoped to god they wouldn’t use him as a pawn to get closer to the Shimadas-- after all, his soul mate was connected to them, some way, somehow. This was not how he thought today would go.
As Reyes slid open the door to the house, he handed Jesse a takeout box.
“Eat. Rest. We’ll debrief when you wake up,” he said, holding the door open for him to go in before him.
“Understood,” Jesse mumbled, a little confused, as he walked in.
His room was just upstairs. He took up his food, stripped off his civvies, and sat down on the bed. The takeout box was filled with delicious noodles and meat, which Jesse wolfed down. Eating, he could do. Nothing fogged up his mind while he ate, nothing bothered him enough to distract him from the delicious Japanese food in front of him. After he finished, he set the box down next to his bed and stretched out, ready to snooze on a full belly.
--
He never got to sleep. However much he tried, thoughts rose up in his mind that kept him awake. He laid there, trying to simulate some semblance of rest, but his mind was over the hypnotic sensations of the food he’d eaten. Everything else came rushing back-- the guilt, the fear, the hollow resentment of his absolute failure--
His soulmark flashed and sizzled under the covers, making him scramble out from under them. The universe really wouldn’t let him rest, could it? Jesse clenched his jaw and glared off into the corner of the room, feeling his chest tighten. He wasn’t going to get anything done just sitting there and wallowing, that he knew for sure. As he stood, Jesse steeled himself. There should be a way to complete his mission while still leaving his soul mate out of this… there had to be.
He slipped out of his room and slunk through the safehouse looking for Gabe. The kitchen usually was well occupied, and he found Gabe there. When he noticed Jesse up and walking, Gabe started, blinking at the young man.
“Jesse, it’s only been like twenty minutes, you need to--”
“I can’t, boss. Let’s just get this over with, my head won’t leave me alone.”
Gabe sighed and nodded.
“Alright, just follow me. Unfortunately, with what happened, we’re going to have to speak with Moira,” he grumbled.
“Aw, what?! I--”
“McCree.”
Jesse opened his mouth again, but he quickly closed it.
“You and I both know that more was going on than what you were telling me.”
Jesse blinked and turned his gaze to the tile floor. He… he couldn’t answer. He didn’t want to, because if he did, he’d betray his true feelings. He just wanted to see that young man again. That’s all. He’d do… anything, to see him again. Gabe watched his expression glaze over, feeling an intense need to shove the kid-- the young man-- into a jet and set it to go all the way to Gibraltar. Jack would tease him, probably, if he told him about how much he’d come to care for the kid. Maybe he saw some semblance of what Jack acted like, all those years ago… Maybe even a little bit of his own actions, to be quite honest. It… scared him.
“Come on, McCree. Let’s go visit the doc,” he said, snapping Jesse out of his distressed stupor.
--
After coming clean about the whole situation-- well, about the physical effects of being near his soul mate, at least-- Moira recommended that Jesse be confined to his room for a while, to be sure he gets a full night’s rest. She spoke of a feeling that he hadn’t been resting normally, and that should be the only real issue he was dealing with…
Jesse felt uneasy about taking her advice, but he wasn’t in charge; if Gabe told him to sleep, he’d sleep. Besides, what could be bad about that? He’d get to see his soul mate for a bit-- maybe, he’d even meet with him in a shared dream! Sometimes, if you meet your soulmate, it can happen… Jesse let out a deep sigh and slid off his civvies. This… would be a process. Sure, he could try to psych himself up about it, but it was still… confinement. He laid down once again and braced himself for a long night.
Jesse did eventually fall asleep. It wasn’t necessarily the kind of sleep he needed, as all his dreams were blurry and narratively unclear, but when he stirred to wakefulness in the middle of the night, he felt rested. Well, despite the fact that it was always disorienting to fall asleep during daylight and wake in the dark… Tonight was no different. Though an easy sort of haze hung on his body, urging him to return to disorganized darkness, he suddenly felt a jolt of discomfort in his stomach. He sat up in the bed, blinking hard and rubbing at his eyes. The pain returned quickly, changing to sear within his abdomen. His soul mark flashed and static roared in his mind--
Jesse! Jesse, listen--!
The pain curled around his chest and settled into his soul mark, making his arm ache. Another flash presented itself over the inky blackness of the design, highlighting the dragon so beautifully rendered… Jesse felt sick. The static ebbed away, and then returned like a tidal wave--
Jesse, he is in danger! Go to him!
“Go to who?” he forced out, vision blearing up with tears.
His soulmark flashed once more, as if to answer him, and the pain simmered to a lesser severity. Jesse stumbled to his feet and threw on his Blackwatch gear. No matter what, he wasn’t going… wherever he was without protection. Something told him he was going to need it. (He left his hat behind, however-- there was no guarantee that it’d be helpful, anyway. Besides, sometimes it’s not as covert as he needs to be.) After getting over the initial shocks of… whatever that was, Jesse steeled himself and slipped out of the compound. Sure, he was probably caught on the cameras, but that wasn’t important to him. All he cared about at the moment was getting to him.
The static in his mind hadn’t gone away. As he slunk through the shadows of Hanamura towards the castle (dear god he’d hoped his gut would lead him elsewhere, but he knew it’d be here) he felt the static shift towards becoming clearer. At one point, it sounded like speech, and then it was--
--u’re going in the right direction, good job, Jesse. Just keep on this path I’m taking you, and you’ll find him.
Jesse swallowed hard, blinking nervously and shifting his shoulders. He stood off in the shadows, but in front of the gates to Hanamura compound nonetheless. The voice kinda freaked him out, but it was the last thing on his mind. He needed to figure out how to get in there.
An image presented itself in his mind of what he’d discovered earlier in the day, when he staked out the giftshop. There must be a way in through there! Jesse had to pick the lock in order to get into the shop, but was immensely surprised at how easily the lock came loose. The shop itself wasn’t even wired with security…
As Jesse stepped into the shop, thunder rumbled in the distance. He’d felt the moisture in the air on his way over, but the threat of a storm hadn’t worried him before… Now, feeling the buzzing begin again in his head, he worried his lip with anxiety. This was… such a bad idea. He ducked behind the cashiers’ counter and rifled around for something that said ‘I am a secret doorway’, and let out a sigh of relief when he felt the uneven edge of a false wall panel. Jesse slid it to the side to peer into a deep, dark tunnel, no doubt leading through the gates and underneath the hills of the Shimada compound. Thankful he hadn’t brought his hat, Jesse slipped into the tunnel and pulled the panel closed behind him. He felt static roar though his mind once more--
--Good job, Jesse. You’ve almost made it. Good luck…
McCree swallowed nervously at the voice, silently hoping this decision wasn’t going to cost him immensely, later on. With another static tingle, his soulmark began to burn and glow within the darkness, blue and golden light filtering through the small space. On Jesse went, eyeing his mark and the way ahead. He wasn’t sure he’d be prepared for what laid beyond the end of this tunnel, be it his soul mate’s open arms, or the frightening storm he knew must be raging above him, by the feel of the earth shaking around him at each thunder clap.
He passed a small doorway, feeling that it probably didn’t lead to where he needed to go; the static kept quiet, and so he walked on. Two more doorways passed like this, until he reached a third that pounding rain could be heard behind. His mark sparked a bit, and heat roared up his arm, over his shoulder, and up into his mind. Jesse swore and staggered a bit, bracing himself on the wall opposite the door. A moment passed where Jesse braced himself, feeling fear crawl within his stomach. He shook his head and pulled open the door, walking out into the pouring rain. Thunder crashed overhead, followed quickly by another flash of white lightning and rumble of thunder.
McCree stood within the dip of a hill, looking out over the deep greens and blues of the Shimada compound within the throes of a storm. Before him was a pavillion, a great center where he guessed clan and family gatherings were held. Jesse squinted in the dark and the rain, feeling himself walk forward to get a better look. Lighting shattered the sky once again, and Jesse could make out three figures, two on one side and one on the other. As the thunder rumbled, the static in Jesse’s head roared--
--There he is! He is here, Jesse, you see him!
Jesse felt something warm swell within him, though the weather and the circumstances of this meeting were… questionable. He was going to truly meet him--
Lightning streaked across the sky one more, and as the thunder screamed after it, Jesse saw the three men each draw their weapons.
Holy Hell.
Just what had he ran into?