Chapter Text
That was a joke, Daishou thought. That was a fucking joke, and not even a funny one. Running his hand through his hair, he sighed a little. The four identical black shirts he owned were occupying one side of his closet and were making him kind of sad. Still. He was glad he’d decided to take them considering the standard Kawanishi required from his employees. His jacket, on the other hand…He rubbed the soft fabric between his fingers. Definitely not snow attire. Oh, well. Now that he had an actual job, things would turn out for the better, he just knew it.
Patting around the flat, he grabbed a slice of jam…whatever and chewed at it while scrolling through his phone. A year ago, hell, a month ago, he wouldn’t have even thought he’d be living in a drafty little studio with a tiny fridge and an electric heater he treated like his most prized possession. But life worked in strange ways.
The jam bread thing was good, though. Licking his fingers, he reached for a second slice. It was really, really good. True, he had a pile of burnt sugar on a napkin he’d scrubbed from the pot and, true, he’d have scars from the sizzling caramel, but the result was more than edible. He had to thank Kawanishi’s…whatever the snappy brunet was because the man could teach. The dough was sweet and light, perfectly baked in the middle, and jam was sticky, the raspberries’ sharp sourness blended with the sugar like a dream. It was the first thing he’d cooked from scratch and he took great pleasure in all the photos he had on his phone now. Maybe Kawanishi would let him help in the back. Maybe.
What he wasn’t been used to was having so much free time. Leaving school really did change one’s perspective on life. So he grabbed his bag and jacket, and went to explore.
Suguru stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath. This was a mistake. Not only was showing a one’s workplace on a day off was pathetic, the reason was even worse. Just as he was about to turn on his heels and leave, he heard a cough that stopped him in his tracks. Slowly looking back, he saw a tall blond man who had been identified as “the boyfriend” the first time they’d met. Not that it explained anything.
- Hi. Daishou, right ? – He nodded, doing his best to smile just as warmly. – Isn’t it your day off ?
- How do you…?
- I know everyone’s schedule because of Taichi. – He shrugged. – Habit. You were going in, right ? Come on, it should be empty.
And then he walked past Suguru, holding the door open. Well, there went his choice.
He was right, though. There were no customers, only soft, quiet warmth. An in the middle of it all was his boss, the cold, terrifying man who ran the place like a battleship and could silence a room without saying a word. That same man was currently showing the warmest smile Suguru had ever seen. It was little, kind of lopsided and he felt like he was intruding.
- Eita, what an amazing surprise… Daishou, an even more amazing surprise. How is your day off going ?
The boyfriend, Semi, if he remembered correctly, slid behind the counter and went in the back, leaving Suguru with his boss.
- What can I do for you ? – Well, now he wondered the same. What was he doing there ? He had to think and do it quickly.
- I tried making something with the dough from yesterday. Wanted your expert opinion. – Suguru carefully quirked his lips to one side, going for light and a little self-mocking.
- Of course. Actually… - The bell rang. Suguru glanced at the door and saw two men come in, seemingly deep in conversation. – Why don’t you find yourself a seat and I will come the moment I finish with the customers ?
- Oh, there is no need…
- Daishou. Sit down. I’ll get you some tea. It might take a while. – He was headed for the small table with the deep stuffed chairs in the corner before he knew it. Some days, he suspected Kawanishi had some sort of mind-reading/controlling powers. Like today, for example.
Folding his jacket on the free chair, Suguru sank as close to the fireplace as it was socially acceptable and brought his attention back to the counter. The tall brunet with the stylish hat was chattering with a wide smile, casually dragging a finger down the glass display while his companion was picking a table and taking his gloves off.
- …So you really need to come this week. Hajime will be trying out a new recipe and I want to show him off. Oh, and should he invite your… - Eavesdropping was about as low as one could go but he didn’t have anything else to occupy his mind besides the conversation and his upcoming doom, so listening it was.
- If you feel like it. Though he is quite shy, I have to warn you. And, we’d love to come. I do have some new staff so I have actual time off. It’s up to you…
Another friendly couple, if the hand holding happening at the table was evidence. So romantic. Behind the counter, Futakuchi was, apparently, making a foam cat on top of a cappuccino. How idyllic. Suguru casually draped his hand even closer to the fireplace and pretended his fingers hadn’t been going blue only a few minutes earlier. Even if he stayed only for a bit, it was still better than walking around in the snow.
- Here. – It was an industrial-sized mug and a huge sandwich. Neither of which were on the menu. Suguru was sure this was one of the measuring cups Kawanishi used for the extreme batches of biscuits.
- Oh, thanks you, but there was no need for this. I just stopped by on my way to the grocery store.
- Doesn’t matter. – And then his boss sat down gracefully across from him. Talk about awkward. – I believe taking care of my employees pays off in the future.
- Practical.
- Indeed. – Kawanishi crossed his legs and leaned back. – Now, you wanted to show me something ?
Ah, yes. There went…not much. Still, he pulled out the plastic box and handed it to his boss. Who took out a slice and looked it over like he was examining a rare gem. Breaking it carefully, he poked it a little with a fingertip and then, finally, took a bite. Suguru held his breath. True, he didn’t think he could actually kill someone, but getting his boss in the hospital with food poisoning was not his idea of a good day off.
Kawanishi chewed for a few seconds, brushing invisible crumbs from his fingers, and then focused back on Suguru.
- How many attempts did it take ? – Ouch. Was it that obvious ? – Yes. Now…
- Three. – He took a deep breath and smiled carefully, just a little. – The second was edible but this one is the best.
- How did you get the time right ? – Talk about inquisition. He knew Kawanishi was supposed to be okay with his…brunet friend helping him, but on the other hand, wouldn’t he see it as Suguru accusing him of being an incompetent teacher ? He’d been working there for far too short amount of time, he wasn’t ready to insult his boss. Kawanishi seemed like a cool guy but Suguru had seen flashes of something right beneath the surface. – Doesn’t matter. Hey, Tooru !
Suguru jumped in his seat. Kawanishi almost never raised his voice and the barked out word rang through the café like a bell. The taller brunet smirked back, his partner scrolling through his phone and sipping tea.
- Do you mind if Daishou joins us ? – What ? No ! Suguru very much minded and just as he was opening his mouth to express it, the other man laughed lightly and gave an airy wave.
- Of course not ! We love guests ! Right, Iwa-chan ? – In response, the other guy at the table reached up and, without even looking away from his phone, clipped his friend on the back of his head. Judging by the offended pout and the huge, puppy eyes, the whole thing had been just for show and he hadn’t used any force, just enough to mess up the man’s styled hair. – Um, rude ? Anyway, - He turned to Suguru, smile going predatory. – as I said, before I was interrupted, you’re more than welcome. Taichi will give you our address, right, Taichi ?
The sugary smile didn’t falter even after a few seconds of his boss staring back without even blinking. The staring contest ended when the man with the phone murmured something and the smiling brunet dropped the grin and propped his chin on one palm, elbow on the table, and listened.
- There you go. I am closing for the day next Tuesday so make sure to book it for socializing. And this ? This is more than good. – It took him a moment to realise the man was talking about the bread. – I’m happy that you’ll be able to help in the back. Now, - he stood up as smoothly as he did everything, in one long, graceful movement. – stay as long as you want. No rush.
Suguru looked at the man’s back and wondered. About how one became an owner of such a successful business at such a young age. At how someone so busy and dedicated managed to keep a partner and be in such a happy relationship. At how it all worked out for him, but never for Suguru. Great, now he was sinking in self-pity. And in public. Dropping a sigh, he reached for his food. At least he got that bit covered. It was something.
And hour later, he was wasting time in the city, looking for something to do. Staying at home all day wasn’t working for him, even if he could barely afford anything else. Though, now that he had an actual job…Things would surely change for the better.
Suguru considered next week. A social event. He hadn’t been on one of those in way too long. School had been his only focus for such a long time, even his closest friends had grown distant. Oh, he knew that if he called, they would answer, but…He couldn’t. He could never allow the people he’d led in high school, whose captain he had been and who he had taken to the finals, his team and more than family, he could never allow those people to see how low he’d sunk. They had looked up to him, he knew. And now, now he was living in a tiny drafty studio in an attic, walked to everywhere and his actual family pretended they didn’t know him.
On some level, he knew his old team wouldn’t care. Not really. They were his friends, they wouldn’t judge. But he’d seen himself as an example for them for so long, it felt like such a failure to fly as high as he had and end up grounded. It wasn’t rock bottom, he knew it wasn’t, but right now, it felt like it couldn’t get much worse. He’d had a job for only a week and judging by Yamaguchi’s sad eyes, the other man had seen through him, probably suspecting the truth – that he had lied, that he couldn’t do anything right, that he was a disgrace. The streets were mostly empty, a weekday in the early afternoon, and he allowed himself to hurt. For the man he’d been and the man people thought he was.
He couldn’t find it in himself to suffer for the man he had had the potential to become. He’d left for a reason, he didn’t see his future as the person his father had been building. So there was no grief for the demise of that hypothetical future image of him. No, if he would cry for himself, it would be for the man he could have become after high school, when he’d been untouchable. He’d known what he wanted, he’d known how to get it. He’d been good, he had people around him, he’d even had Mika, even if she’d ended only a friend. That man could have achieved so much more. He could have had the world in the palm of his hand. He’d been young and invincible. Immortal.
And what he’d done to him ? Suguru kicked some slush, watching it spread and mar the perfection of the snow. He’d killed and buried him to please parents who hadn’t really cared, not for him. And where had it ended ? On an empty street in a clear, cold day, with him murmuring angrily at himself. If only his old rivals could see him now, they’d probably laugh their asses off. Because he was supposed to be the cool one, the calculating one, the one who bent the rules to win. Not that it had helped him in the long run, of course.
The man he could have become…He had to let him rest in peace. Long dead and with no chances of resurrection, he had to look forward. And build a new, third future for himself. Third was the charm, wasn’t it ? Maybe he’d be lucky.
Yeah, and maybe sweet charming Yamaguchi would run away with a pierced, tattooed guy on a motorbike. Suguru snorted. Like that would ever happen.
But now, now he had to look forward. To Tuesday. Shit. Okay, he had to think it through. Kawanishi hadn’t said what kind of social event it would be, but he guessed it would be in that other guy’s house ? Maybe ? Would he be expected to bring food ? Would there even be food ? What did adults even do to socialise ? He hadn’t done much of that in business school, not of the friendly, casual type. Would it even be causal ? Just as he was about to stop and give himself a stern talking to, because he was panicking for no reason, he saw the sign. Oh. Where had he seen…
Glancing through the window didn’t help much since it was covered in artfully mixed greenery and pops of colour coming from blooms in various shades and sizes. But he could swear he’d seen the logo somewhere… Idling in front of a flower shop display was not his style, so he shrugged and pushed the door open. What was the worst that could happen ?
Morisuke glanced up when the bell chimed. Fukunaga’s pencil paused for a moment and then returned to its rhythmic scratching. The man looked familiar though Morisuke couldn’t place a name or anything. But he looked around with what looked like honest curiousity and he was not one to scare potential customers.
The man, roughly around his own age, zeroed on the potted plants and headed for them, reaching like he was going to touch. Morisuke had no problem with customers petting the plants, as long as they were careful and either him or Fukunaga were keeping an eye on them. But something in the way this man help his hand above the leaf of an exceptionally lively benjamin ficus seemed strange. Like it was the first time he was seeing one of those. Which couldn’t be the truth since Morisuke knew most households had at least one of those and they lived forever. Propping himself with one palm against his desk, he observed.
Carefully, like it was going to bite, the man touched a leaf. A tiny, green and yellow leaf that trembled and shook on its tiny branch. It would be almost funny how fast the man pulled his hand back, like he’d been burned, if not for his amazed expression. When he tilted his head just so, the lights hit him exactly the right way and he realised his highlights were the same colour as the benjamin’s darkest hues.
Wait, green highlights ? He’d seen those. He’s seen them above a cocky smile and nervous eyes in the same shade…
Oh. It was the guy from the coffee shop. The nervous one. In his shop. No escaping, huh ? Morisuke guessed it was had been meant to be and made a note to himself to give the card of the café to more people. Still, here, the man was a potential customer who obviously needed help and Morisuke was many things, but unhelpful had never been one of them.
- If it’s your first one, I’d suggest trying something else first. – The man froze for a fragment of a second and then turned slowly. He was smiling, a small, lopsided smirk dancing on thin lips, and Morisuke would be annoyed, except that the man’s cheekbones were pink from the wind and his fringe was all messed up.
- Sorry ? – How very annoyingly polite. He narrowed his eyes.
- I said, if you haven’t had a houseplant of this size before, you should try with something less spoiled and thirsty for attention. Benjamin ficuses are divas. Quite a high step for a new plant parent.
He was trying not to sound condescending but the man still took offence. It was a small expression, but Morisuke saw it. And did his best not to sigh. It was one of those, huh ?
- Of course I have plants. – The guy cocked moved his weight to one foot, cocking a hip. – What I don’t have, is one of those.
- I can understand why. They need lots of time, attention and care. And are very picky. – Morisuke shrugged. – It’s normal. People usually get them for specific reasons, not just because they want something green on the window.
- Hm. – The man tapped his lip with a fingertip, eyes dancing over the displays. – Do you have flyers with instructions ?
He was a smart one, Morisuke would give him that. Covering his bases and all.
- Sure. But are you confident you want one of them ? I can show you calmer, less pretentious types. They bloom, too. Really pretty, make the room glow and…
- Maybe next time. – The smile softened a little. – Now, I would like…
- How about a smaller one ? – The man blinked at him.
- Sorry ?
- Those, - He waved at the big pots with tall, leafy plants. – those are big and don’t fit well in every house. I do have the same one, a bemjamin ficus, in a smaller version. Here…
Walking around the counter, he led the man to one of the shelves. The small ficus was all trembling colourful leaves and light branches. Turning slightly to the side, Morisuke saw his customer stand there, almost with his mouth hanging open. They were more than cute, he would admit it, though he felt sad for the poor thing that would probably die at the hands of the man currently staring at it like he’d been hit with Cupid’s arrow.
- This is…
- Cute, aren’t they ?
- Yes… I’d like one of those. – Exactly what he’d been afraid of. Trying not to sigh too loudly, Morisuke stepped back to stand next to the man instead of in front of him.
- Which one would you like ? – They were definitely not the same, some taller, some wider, some lighter, other – more yellow than dark green…
The man reached again, with the same enraptured expression and unstable hand as he had done for the big one, and touched a cherry red pot. Oh. It was the smallest, lightest
one, with the tiniest leaves. The pot was bigger but the crown could fit in two palms. Morisuke felt really bad again, not only for the plant but also for the man who seemed in love but would probably kill the poor thing in a week. Oh, well. It was the way of the flower shops.
Pulling the pot with its ceramic plate, he headed for the counter to ring the purchase.
- Do you have a plastic bag or something to put on top ? I don’t want it to freeze on my way home.
Stopping for a moment, Morisuke looked at the customer. He appeared excited, almost giddy, though he was carefully trying to hide it, and seemed impatient to get his hands on the benjamin. But the question had been important enough to show he was actually using his brain. Morisuke approved.
- Sure. And, here… - He slipped one of the flyers the kept under the counter. – This one gives basic instructions on caring for it. Feel free to stop by if you need anything else. Because, a warning. – The customer glanced at him but was obviously not focused enough. – They do need a lot of supplies.
He dropped the money in the till and shut it with a ring.
- Congratulations. Take a good care for it.
- Oh, I will. – And from the way he was cuddling the pot, Morisuke almost believed him. He would try, for sure. But often, especially with living beings, trying was not good enough. Still, he wished him luck and watched at the door fell shut. Because he would need it.
How had this happened, again ? Suguru glared at the tiny plant on his table. It didn’t glare back, or try to mock him, but he thought he’d feel better if it did. At least someone would be thinking clearly. Because, what did he know of houseplants ? Hell, what did he know about taking care of things ? He barely knew how to take care of himself, what was left for a flower ? This had been a terrible mistake but he’d seen challenge where there hadn’t been one and he’d ended in a complete mess. Exhaling loudly, Suguru rubbed his face. Well, better start reading. Because the least he could do after ripping the little thing from its place, was to try and care for it. And he would do his best, he promised. It wouldn’t miss the shop at all ! Now, if only he could convince himself…