Chapter Text
"How are you doing? Still alive? The baby I mean." The speaker made a crackling noise as the person burst out into laughter.
The phone was set to loud speaker as Yoongi's hands busy with changing the little one's diaper. He could confidently say that he has gotten better at changing diapers to the point of finishing it in the span of five minutes.
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "I have you know, Kim Namjoon, that she's still perfectly in one piece. But, yeah, I’m still getting used to the whole," A moment of hesitation. "You know.. Absence? I can’t help but think about them sometimes but yeah, gotta move on with my life right?" he let out a little chuckle but it sounded strained. Yoongi was quick to change the subject as he continued, "And, well, Areum is surprisingly well-behaved most of the time so there is that. Speaking of, do you think I need to make my apartment child proof?"
"Child proof huh?" Yoongi could hear the grin in Namjoon's voice.
"Too soon?"
"Well, the baby's over a year old now right? She's probably going to start walking soon, so I'd say it's kind of the right thing to do?"
"But?" Yoongi prompted, lips pursing.
"Jin," replied Namjoon vaguely.
Yoongi's eyes landed on his phone upon hearing the name. "Jin?"
"Have you talked to him...?" asked Namjoon, tone a little cautious. "About the whole wanting to take care of the baby and such."
"It's not something that I'd talk about on the phone. He's going back in about a week, I'll tell him then," told Yoongi just as he finished changing the baby's diaper. He picked his phone and whisper-shouted in a warning tone. "Don't say a fudging thing to him until I do."
"When do I ever?" Yoongi could feel Namjoon rolling his eyes over the phone.
***
"Jin," Yoongi said with a start. "What are you doing here?"
"I finished my work early so I took the next flight back," the said man shrugged before the look in his eyes turned to what Yoongi might understand as pity. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner."
Yoongi looked away. He couldn't bear to see the look of pity thrown at him. What he needed was a little comfort, not pity. And certainly not from someone who he thought knew him best. "What are you saying?" he mumbled.
"About what happened. Yoongi, i'm sorry. Wish that I could've been here--"
"It's fine. There's nothing you can do about it," Yoongi dismissed quickly, not wanting to delve into the matter any further. "It's fine," he repeated, but more to himself than anything else.
Seokjin pulled him into a hug then, and Yoongi was instantly enveloped in warmth. The warmth that he so much needed, that he had missed. "Hey," Seokjin mumbled into his hair. "How are you doing?" Yoongi closed his eyes, basking in the scent.
He was about to answer when a cry erupted from the living room. Seokjin pulled away and looked down on him, eyebrows rose curiously.
"I'll be back," Yoongi said and dashed toward the living room. He picked the little one up from her bouncer, carrying the tiny lump on his hip. He bounced her a little until the cries subsided to sobs.
"Yoongi." The said man stiffened. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and he composed himself. He put the little one down on her playpen before he whirled around, bracing himself for what might come. Seokjin looked at him with an unreadable expression and Yoongi sighed.
"Listen," he said. "I know there's a lot going on for you right now but hear me--"
"I don’t think I’m going to like anything that will come out of your mouth next, Min Yoongi." Seokjin had his arms crossed, his gaze hardening as he stared at the other man.
Yoongi’s brows furrowed at the harsh tone. They rarely fought, and that was the first time that Seokjin had ever spoken to him rather harshly, at the first meeting in a long time no less. So truth be told, it hurt him a little. "Listen to what I have to say first before making assumptions."
“What more could it be other than you being your usual reckless self and took her under your care like the good parent you are.” The venom in Seokjin’s words were too obvious to be missed.
“So you thought taking care of my best friend’s child is wrong?” Yoongi snorted. “And sure, it’s such a rash decision and reckless of me but she has no one else but me.”
"She still has her family, Yoongi."
"Family?" Yoongi scoffed. "The people that never bothered to even look for her when her parents died. You called that family?"
"But that doesn't mean you have to be the one to take care of the baby. You got your own life, Yoongi." You have me, Yoongi could hear the underlying words. He couldn’t understand why someone can be as selfish.
"She has no one else, Jin!" Yoongi all but snap. Areum scrunched her face at his loud voice, and he could hear the beginning of her wail. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing the fast beating of his heart to slow down. "What do you expect me to do? Abandon her? Send her to away?" he sighed. "They named me, Jin. Hoseok and Tae--" he choked and it left a bitter taste in his mouth as the two names slipped out of his lips. "They named me in their will! And I love her. Oh god, I love her like my own child, Jin."
Yoongi's heart clenched. He turned, back facing the other as he swallowed and took a tentative breath. He crouched then, kissed the top of Areum's head and mumbled, "There's no way I could just back out when—when she needs me the most. When they need me the most. There's just—no way."
There was a long piercing silence, then, "So where does that left us then?"
And the intensity of the question had Yoongi snapping his head up too fast he was almost afraid his neck would break. "What?"
"If you become the father of that child, where does that left us? Where does our relationship go from here on?" Seokjin asked and Yoongi wished he could read his mind. The unreadable expression on his face just made it harder to look at him in the eye.
"What do you mean? It's not--"
"Do you expect me to welcome this news with a big smile on my face?" Seokjin scoffed and Yoongi's heart shattered. "I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm not going to commit myself to someone who has a child."
"But I thought you wanted a child," Yoongi all but whispered, looking away dejectedly.
"Yes, but certainly not this way," Seokjin said indignantly. "Don't just expect me to be all accepting when you're throwing this big bomb at me out of nowhere."
Yoongi's frown deepened. "But she's not just anyone; she's my friends' child. She's family."
"Your family, Yoongi. Not mine. Never mine." When Seokjin shook his head, Yoongi was rendered speechless and the silence stretched on until Seokjin broke it with a knife stabbed to his heart. "I guess this is the end then."
***
The phone rang and Jungkook woke up with a jolt. His phone continued to blare in the dead of the silence. When he found his phone amidst the sea of papers, his brows furrowed. Yoongi's number splayed across his screen. "Hello?" he answered unsurely, loosening his neck tie tiredly.
"Are you a friend of this phone's owner?"
"...Yes," he answered, feeling of dread slowly building up as he waited for the other person to continue.
"Oh good. There has been a fight and I have no intention of letting a bleeding customer lay dead in my bar. Could you pick him up?"
His inside twisted in a way that he couldn't comprehend. Jungkook worried his bottom lip as he asked, "Could you text me the address?"
He all but ran upon receiving the bar's address; all kinds of emotions invaded him as he swore up and down. When he arrived, the bar was almost empty save for a man standing behind the bar, another one sitting on a stool with his head in his hand and a voluptuous looking woman standing beside him, doing what seemed to be consoling him. When his eyes landed on the bleeding man splayed out on the floor, his eyes widened. “Yoongi,” whispered Jungkook.
It had been close to a week since he had last seen the man. Surely this wasn’t what he had expected how their next meeting would be. He almost laugh at the absurdity of it all. When he crouched down to look closer, he couldn’t help the curse that left his lips. "What the hell, Min Yoongi?" Suddenly, he was out of breath; from the running or for an entirely different reason, he didn't know. There was dried blood on the corner of his lips, a bruise across his cheek and a cut just above his brow. His hair was disheveled, fringe stuck to his forehead with sweats.
Yoongi looked up at the familiar voice, eyes adjusting until he saw a fragment of Jungkook. "What the fuck do you want?" he cursed, words dragging out in a slur.
"What are you doing here?" Jungkook questioned and he hoped his voice came out stern.
"It's none of your business," gritted Yoongi and there was so much venom in his words. Jungkook's brows furrowed.
"Where is Areum?" he asked but he couldn't ignore the hurt feeling in his chest.
Yoongi chuckled hollowly at the question. "Areum, huh? You're the one who didn't want her- You're- you walked away. You left me," he said in between hiccups.
Jungkook was silent for he had nothing to say. The man's words had hit its target. Bull's eye.
"They left me. And when I thought you'd be there, you fucking left me too. You left me because I'm trying to do the right thing," Yoongi cried out and Jungkook let him. "You left me."
There were tears in his eyes and now Jungkook wasn't sure if the man was blaming him or if the tears were meant for someone else entirely.
***
The baby monitor rumbled with resounding cries and Yoongi jolted; eyes jerked open and his head pounded almost instantly. When his eyes finally came to focus, he found himself in his room, neatly tucked under the warm of his comforter.
He didn't remember coming home last night nor tucking himself to bed; his mind filled with a blur of loud voices. But there wasn't much room for him to ponder long because the cries in the baby monitor intensified. Yoongi groaned into his comforter before getting out of bed on wobbly legs.
He rushed to the guest room and the baby held her hands up upon seeing the man, whimpering. Yoongi picked the baby up from her crib while cooing, bouncing her a little as he settled her carefully on his hip while trying to fight the throbbing in his head. Her cry reduced to soft sobs with the motion, the little one had turn to playing with his hair instead and Yoongi silently thanked the heaven above.
He really needed aspirin.
"You hungry, baby girl?" he cooed as he climbed down the stairs and Areum hugged his neck by way of answering, head resting against his throat affectionately. He couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his face.
When he put the baby in her high chair, she made a sound of protest, reaching out to the man in desperate attempt to make him hold her again but Yoongi just patted her head in consolation ("because she needs to learn how to self-soothe. She can't be stuck to us like a leech all the time," Hoseok had said but they had cradled her in their arms any other time of day anyway.) and moved to boil some water. He glanced at the baby now and then, making silly faces out of habit and smiled when the baby bounced with a giggle. He took an aspirin and downed it in one gulp; paying no mind that his stomach was empty.
When the water boiled, he took the baby bottle, put just the right amount of formula and water before shaking it. After making sure that the temperature of the milk was fine, he gave the bottle to the baby and Areum happily sucked on the pacifier. It drew a smile on his face, but it was quickly replaced by a frown when the little one reached out to touch his face curiously. It stung.
His hand shot up to touch his face and felt a bandage close to his mouth. His face scrunched up in wonder, the movement inflicting more pain and he grimaced. Areum laughed.
"Not funny, baby girl," Yoongi scolded half-heartedly, lip jutting out in a pout. "Is this your doing? Did you patch me up?" he asked uselessly, hands wandering around his face and he found some more Band-Aid stuck to his cheek and above his brow.
Areum tilted her head in wonder, probably trying to make sense of the big man's words.
"You're lucky you're cute," he sighed, poking her nose. She caught his finger in her little hand and to both his amusement and slight disgust, put it in her mouth. Yoongi laughed when she started chewing on his finger, her milk long forgotten. Her saliva dripped down her chin and Yoongi wiped it off with the bib around her neck with affectionate smile.
Just then his stomach started to rumble; effectively stopping Areum from chewing off his finger as she looked at him with big eyes full of wonder.
“That’s the sound of a thunder coming from my tummy,” said Yoongi as he stood up. Patting his stomach, he continued on, “Min Yoongi needs to fill his tummy with foods so he can take care of you better.”
Yoongi was about to open the fridge when his eyes landed on the piece of paper glued on the fridge. Baby formula, it read. A certain Jeon Jungkook instantly came to mind. He remembered asking the man to jot down the formula so he wouldn't forger the correct amount of milk and such. He came to realise that Jungkook knew more about childcare than he'd let on.
Sighing, Yoongi opened the fridge and his eyes landed on a lone pot. There was a note stuck to it. Curiously, he took the pot out and pulled the note off before he read.
Please take care of yourself for Areum's sake
When he took a sip of the much needed soup, he instantly felt refreshed and sobered. "Why do you have to make good food, damn it!”
Unbeknownst to him, there was a small smile on his face.