Chapter Text
It happens when they’re dying Jeongguk’s hair pink.
“I’ve always had brown hair, or I’ve dyed it darker before, but I’ve never gone lighter. Do you think I should go blonde?” the younger boy had asked Taehyung, about a week before Jeongguk’s birthday. They were in Taehyung’s apartment, playing Overwatch (because for some reason Jeongguk had been exclusively playing it at Taehyung’s apartment recently, not his and Jimin’s)(and by 'some reason', Jeongguk meant he wanted to spend as much time with Taehyung as humanly possible), and Jeongguk was sitting as close to ‘In taehyung’s lap’ as he could be without actually doing it.
“Hmm,” Taehyung mused, and Jeongguk felt his heart stop in his chest. The older boy was raising an eyebrow, and since he had a beanie on today with hsi hair pulled up into it, his powerful brows were on full display. “I say go pink.”
It took Jeongguk a second, but when it hit him, his eyes widened. “Pink?” he questioned, and Taehyung nodded.
“Like, hot pink. Then it’ll fade into a bubblegum pink colour.” Taehyung was casual, and Jeongguk felt his stomach clench with appreciation at Taehyung’s outfit. A hoodie, the beanie, and soft grey sweatpants, plus the game controller? Taehyung looked like a whole boyfriend. He’s still staring, when Taehyung looks up and catches his eye.
“It’ll be pretty, I think,” Taehyung says, and he pulls Jeongguk closer like it’s nothing.
Jeongguk fights down a lump in his throat. “If you do it with me, I will,” he says, and he finishes the job and settles in Taehyung’s lap, his back pressed up against Taehyung’s chest and his ass settling on Taehyung’s crotch. He wiggles a little to ‘get comfortable’ (and by that he means : try to make Taehyung just do something already), and he hears the older boy’s voice catch in his throat.
“Okay,” Taehyung agrees, voice suddenly more hoarse. Jeongguk smiles to himself a little, knowing Taehyung can’t see it, but he nearly curses out loud when he feels one of Taehyun’s big hands settle right on his waist. Fuck.
- Things have been weird between then for a while.
It started with Jihyo breaking up with him. For some reason, that night, Jeongguk decided to kiss Taehyung on the cheek. It had just felt right in the moment. But ever since then, their levels of affection and what the other was comfortable with had gone through the roof.
Jeongguk would greet Taehyung sometimes with a kiss on the cheek, and Taehyung would reply by draping his whole body on Jeongguk’s back. Jeongguk would wink at Taehyung, and Taehyung would retaliate by talking in the lower part of his voice to Jeongguk, watching the younger boy react, sometimes shivering, sometimes turning pink. It felt almost like a race, like they had to see who could do the most, go the hardest, without actually saying anything, but neither of them knew where the finish line was.
Well, Jeongguk had a guess.
Ever since he had accepted how he felt about Taehyung, it was all he could think about. Taehyung would touch his hair and he’d feel his heart go a million miles an hour. Taehyung would laugh at his joke and Jeongguk would feel like he was flying. Once, Taehyung even kissed the top of his head when they were playing as a team in a game and they won, and Jeongguk nearly passed out.
He’d never felt this way before.
Jeongguk had liked people plenty of times. Plenty of girls had caught his eye, and plenty of times he had had dates with stunning girls, crushes that felt crazy, and he’d even went as far as to say he loved a girl once. But it was nothing the same when it came to Taehyung.
With Taehyung, it felt like they could do anything and he would have fun. Taehyung could wake him up at 2am and say they were going stargazing, and he’d be game. Taehyung could drag him to a shitty diner in the middle of the bad part of town, and Jeongguk wouldn’t even be afraid. Taehyung could tell him to dye his hair pink - and, well. Jeongguk would do it ( only a little because Taehyung said it would look pretty).
He’d liked people before, and he’d loved before, but he’d never been in love before.
Lately, Taehyung had been looking at him weirdly, too. Jeongguk would be doing something simple, maybe washing dishes after Taehyung asked him to clean up after himself the fiftieth time, and he’d look up and Taehyung would be staring at him. Not the way Jeongguk stared at Taehyung, when he wasn’t watching himself. Not full of hunger, not full of desire, not coated in lust or humming of wistfulness.
Confused, almost.
It was the same look that Taehyung gave him when he would greet Taehyung with a kiss on the cheek. Because he would retaliate like it was what he was born to do, but afterwards, Taehyung would stare at him like he wasn’t really sure what was going on. Like he was trying to figure something out. Jeongguk would pay millions just to know what was going on in Taehyung’s head, because he knew why he was doing what he was doing, he just wanted to know why Taehyung was responding in turn.
Lately, it felt a little like they were waiting to see who would go first. There was so much unsaid, Jeongguk knew there was tension in the air. He just wasn’t sure yet which one of them would break it.
A week later, and they’re both in Jeogguk’s bathroom, pink hair dye in hand. Oh, and it's Jeongguk's birthday, something Taehyung wouldn't stop bringing up ("You're so old, Gukkie! 18!").They just finished bleaching it, and Jeongguk can’t stop staring at himself in the mirror. “Maybe I should stay blonde, this is kind of cool?” Jeongguk asked, touching a piece of hair absentmindedly and pulling it away from his face.
But then a pair of arms wrapped around him, and he shivered from the full body contact. “You’re only half of the way there, baby,” Taehyung said to him, and Jeongguk closed his eyes to take a minute. Baby. That was something Taehyung called him even before the weirdness, the competition, the tension - before all that started. It used to make him confused, but nowadays it just made him feel hot all over.
“Okay,” he said, breathing out the word. “Then help me out.”
They start out slow, and then Taehyung dumps a whole glob of pink hair dye in Jeongguk’s hair. “Hey!” He yelled playfully, and Taehyung giggled back.
“Sorry not sorry,” the older responded. Jeongguk giggled back, and shook his head a little at his hyung.
Slowly, Jeongguk gets lost in the feeling of Taehyung’s hands in his hair, running the colour through the individual strands, gently touching his scalp. Taehyung always touches him so gently, so softly, sometimes Jeongguk feels a little like a doll that Taehyung’s afraid of breaking. He would tell Taehyung to cut it out if it didn’t make him feel so goddamned fuzzy on the inside.
“Okay,” the older’s voice breaks him out of his reverie. “Now we just have to wait twenty five minutes, and the job should be good to go.”
“Can I look?” Jeongguk asks, and Taehyung shakes his head at him.
“Nope! It has to be a surprise. I’ll take pictures, though, so you can see what you looked like now after you shower it out.” Jeongguk wants to say no, but then Taehyung pulls out his camera and has that little spark in his eye - fuck it, man.
He starts posing and Taehyung laughs, turning on his phone ringer specifically so that Jeongguk can hear every snap of the camera app. At one point Taehyung whispers “Vogue,” and Jeongguk loses it. He just doubles over laughing, and for some reason he just hears the camera shutter sound increase more.
“Why- why’d you take so many pictures when I was laughing,” he wheezes out when he can stop giggling, and Taehyung just bashfully scratches his head.
“You look pretty when you laugh,” Taehyung tell him. Oh. Jeongguk can feel his cheeks heating up, and he averts his eyes before Taehyung notices how panicked he’s gotten. There’s a small moment of awkward silence, when a timer starts going off on Taehyung’s phone. “Oh, looks like it’s time for you to shower all that out!” Taehyung says, voice sounding fake chipper, and he moves out of the bathroom while Jeongguk turns on the shower.
He washes out the pink in his hair, and bites his lip looking at the pale colour swirl down the drain. He’s going to have pink hair. He really does too much for Taehyung, doesn’t he? But - thinking on it, Taehyung realy does the most for him. He lets Jeongguk into his apartment, his life, his plans, all the time. He gives and he gives and he showers Jeongguk in affection. Why has Jeongguk been waiting for Taehyung to make the first move? He already makes Taehyung do too much.
When he steps out of the shower, he decides he’s going to do something. He takes a look in the mirror and nearly gasps out loud. Woah. Taehyung wasn’t joking when he said they were going for hot pink. Fuck. Hopefully it’s as pretty to Taehyung as the older boy said it would be.
He looks at his clothes, and decides to just put on boxers and the big shirt Taehyung was wearing earlier, that he took off so it wouldn’t get stained in the dying process. Jeongguk took one last look in the mirror, towels his hair a little more dry, takes a big breath, and walks out the door.
“Am I pretty?” Is the first thing he asks, and maybe it’s a mistake, because Taehyung’s jaw has dropped onto the ground. He does a little twirl, hoping Taehyung will say something, say something, say something. Silence. “Well?” He asks a second later, feeling a little self conscious when Taehyung hasn’t replied.
That’s all Taehyung needs to spring up and touch him, running a piece of hair through his fingers. “Wah, Gukkie, it looks so good, you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen,” he gushes, smiling large and talking loud, but then something in his eyes fades a little. “Are you… wearing my shirt?” He asks, stepping away. Jeongguk bites his lip.
“Yeah,” he admits shyly. “I thought maybe you’d like how I look in your clothes.”
Silence.
Silence.
Maybe it came out wrong, because Taehyung looks stricken. He looks ready to cry. Jeongguk watches with growing horror as Taehyung sighs, and shakes his head at him, looking disappointed. “God, I can’t believe you.”
Jeongguk feels his stomach drop. “What?” he asks softly, not believing his ears. Taehyung just keeps shaking his head.
“I can’t believe you!” he finally says, louder, and Jeongguk almost flinches. “Why are you doing this to me? I always knew you could get a little carried away, but this! This is just cruel, Jeongguk, I thought better of you.”
Jeongguk. Just plain old Jeongguk. Not Jeongguk - ah, or Gukkie, or Guk, or baby, or doll, or sweetheart - Jeongguk.
“What do you even mean?” the younger boy exasperatedly replies. “I haven’t done anything to you!”
“You’ve done everything !” Taehyung yells back. “You’re always touching me, or pushing me, trying to get a reaction out of me! Don’t think I haven’t seen it! You’re always kissing me on the cheek, or touching my arms, or tricking me into holding your hand! You grinded on me at the club three weeks ago, and even just one week ago you basically rubbed your ass all over my dick when we were playing video games! I know it must feel cool and all to be a straight guy and know that you made a gay guy fall for you, but this is just mean , Jeongguk, it’s just mean.”
There’s a storm of hurt brewing and exploding, wreaking havoc in Taehyung’s eyes, but all that Jeongguk can focus on in the white noise in his brain are the last few words Taehyung said.
“Wait, what?” he asked again, sounding dumb in his own ears, but wanting to make sure.
Meanwhile, Taehyung looks about ready to cry. “I don’t know how you found out that I have a crush on you because you’re supposed to be oblivious and I know Jimin didn’t tell you, but shoving it in my face, all the things I want but I can never have, it’s not cool, and I won’t let you fuck with me anymore.”
Jeongguk almost slaps himself in the face.
Scratch that; he slaps himself in the face.
“Taehyung hyung, my best friend, hyung… there’s been a huge misunderstanding,” he says. Taehyung looks confused, and there’s definitely tears in his eyes (which fuck that hurts Jeongguk right in his heart, but he’s a little out of it, saying as he’s sosososo happy Taehyung just confirmed he likes him, but no, Taehyung is crying, and it’s all his fault, FUCK) - but Taehyung lets him speak.
“Listen, I … I always thought that there were only girls out there for me. And Jihyo - I dated her, and it was nice, and it was fine, and it was everything that was expected of me, but,” Jeongguk breaks off his sentence to take a step closer to Taehyung. “The whole reason she broke up with me was because she could tell I was in love with someone else. She could tell I was in love with you.”
Taehyung’s eyes go wide. “You - you - what?” He breathes out, and his eyes are still red, but he doesn’t look like he’s upset anymore, just really, really confused. Jeongguk shakes his head, sighing melodramatically, but he’s smiling so wide it feels like his face is going to stretch and snap, and break.
“I love you, dummy. So,” He takes Taehyung’s hands in his, and holds them softly. “When I touch you, it’s because I want you to touch me. When I ‘rub my ass on your dick’” he raises an eyebrow and Taehyung has the tact to look slightly embarrassed. “It’s because I want you to touch me. When I hold your hand, it’s because I have the fattest, most ridiculous, life ruining, heart stopping, melodramatic crush on you.”
Taehyung doesn’t even look confused anymore, he has a soft smile growing on his face, and he squeezes Jeongguk’s hands a little in his own, but he lets the younger boy finish.
“And when I kiss you cheek,” Jeongguk breathes, and he takes a deep breath before continuing, “It’s because I want you to kiss me. ”
“Can I do that?” Taehyung asks, not even a second later. “Can I kiss you, Guk-ah?” And Taehyung’s eyes look glossy again, but Jeongguk thinks it’s for different reasons, and he’s smiling so wide he’s not sure if Taehyung will even be able to, but he nods.
“Please.”
And it’s everything.
Jeongguk feels hot all over, and Taehyung’s hands are burning holes through the fabric of his shirt on Jeongguk’s waist, and Jeongguk is probably going to end up pulling a clump of Taehyung’s hair out from how tightly his fingers are knotted in it, and Taehyung’s sweeping him up and away and he feels faint, but most importantly Taehyung is kissing him.
His tongue goes into Jeongguk’s mouth, and Jeongguk feels a little like he’s flying. Like he has both feet off the ground, levitating, floating. He hears himself make the most desperate, high pitched, annoying whine, and Taehyung laughs into his mouth (which would probably be gross if he wasn’t currently melting.)
The kiss is everything all at once, and Taehyung’s lips are softer than he ever imagined, his touch is so light and gentle but so there and strong, he just wants to collapse in Taehyung’s arms, let the older boy sweep him off his feet and pull him to his bed, press him down and mark him up, make everyone know that he loves this boy, but - but all too soon Taehyung is pulling away.
“Tae…?” Jeongguk starts to ask, but then he’s being pulled tight again to Taehyung’s body, in maybe the biggest bear hug ever. Oh. He hears Taehyung sniffle a little, and he smiles, wrapping his own arms around Taehyung’s shoulders. He’s so warm, and he nuzzles his head into Taehyung’s shoulder feeling safe in the hug of his favorite hyung.
“I think you’re my favorite person I’ve ever met, Gukkie,” he hears Taehyung whisper to him. “I was so sad all the time, thinking that you were making fun of me, because I thought there was no way- I mean, I thought you only liked girls.”
“Hyung, it’s not about me liking girls, or me liking guys,” Jeongguk whispered into Taehyung’s ear. “What matters is that I like you. That’s all I care about.”
“Fuck,” Taehyung muttered, squeezing Jeongguk even tighter. When they finally separate, Taehyung looks Jeongguk up and down appreciatively. “You know, you were wrong,” he teases, smile touching his lips and making his red, glossy eyes go brighter. “I don't like seeing you in my clothes.”
At that Jeongguk cocks his head to the side. “You don’t?” he asks. “Are those just your keys in your pocket, then?” Taehyung laughs.
“I don’t like it, I love it,” He says with his whole chest, making Jeongguk groan into his hands. What have I gotten myself into , Jeongguk thought to himself.
“I, actually though, just kind of… love you in general, though, so that might be it,” Taehyung trails off, staring at Jeongguk from under his hooded lids.
Oh, Jeongguk thought. he smiles and pulls Taehyung closer.
Oh.
This.