Chapter Text
At first it felt like delving a fork into an energised outlet. Doing exactly what you had been told it would do but it was surprising what it let off.It felt foreign to both as assumptions about each other had degraded. It felt neither strange or wrong but it didn't feel right either. Knowing that it would come to hurt each other or maybe someone else. It had been a huge inaccuracy on the brunette behalf that could not had been counteracted with something like logic or math. In the end, skepticsm had made it's bed.
The second time was a contradiction between their spoken words. Proving to be no different than last time but still as confusing.
The more and more it happened eventually it clicked.
Everything felt in sync specially with his surroundings.Between all those times together, confused grew certainty and those mixed feelings of wrong and right grew into a proper answer. And warmth faded quicker then anything else Dazai had ever had his grasp on.
.
.
"Chuuya". Softly the bed creaks. All the blankets and covers thrown aside, only leaving an echo and unkempt wings. Wings brittle as glass that would beat like thunder crashing on a sizzling summer and calming when in sight of cold ice cream.
Each thrust lost its synchronisation from cowardice.
Rhythm from lack of awareness.
Pleasure from trying to be fashionably late.
One met the other, only to be taken and swallowed with greed. Its a two person game to reach a pinnacle.Betrayed, the same treachery clogging his own veins, replacing one god for another, repeats the mistake again.
"Chuu-ya". Dazai succumbs to his name like a siren's song. An cruelly innocent melody laced with bittersweet undertones over blue rain drumming on the window pains in the dead of night.
Both of them were naked, moonlight kissing them along the skin, missing their faces as they were each others shadows. Dazai's body is pressed against Chuuya's, expecting heat but is given ice cold." Wrap your legs around me, Chibi". He goes to grab Chuuya's legs and tries to wrapping them tight around his waist. The grip is weak, lacking strength to stay locked.
Dazai takes a longing glance at Chuuya. His eyes were lidded and cold, not a spark of impatient greed as fingers trace pirouettes on the inside of Chuuya's thighs. By now Dazai was excepting a witty 'stop being a tease' to ruin the mood, guess Chuuya was using that chance for later.
He's not broken. He just can't see. Dazai tells himself and will keep continuing to no end because a lie that creates a more blissfully reality is better lived then a truth that causes nothing but suffering even when the memory starts to continue on living out of one's selfishness.
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A figure emerged from out of the shadows of the bathroom, tear-tracks caught by the moonlight, glowing sliver. Cold wind pushes Dazai on the back, knocking a small crackling laugh out of him. The emotion within was flat and dull.
He couldn't look.
Not now.
He couldn't look at him.