Chapter Text
Dreams plagued Gavin. Good dreams. Very good dreams. Or at least, they started out well.
It was just him and Michael, alone in Michael’s room. They were kissing, nothing explicit; Gavin pulled Michael’s shirt off and threw it to the floor. Gavin loved Michael’s body. He wasn’t perfectly toned, wasn’t buff like the guys in the magazines, but Gavin didn’t care – he’d never cared for masses of muscles.
Michael sighed as Gavin ran his hands down his sides, up his back, scratching lightly.
Michael pulled his head back to grin breathlessly, staring into Gavin’s eyes. Then, slowly, he’d remove Gavin’s shirt, his fingers skating over his ribs, his nipples, before throwing it to join his own on the floor.
Gavin pushed his head back into the pillow as Michael kissed down his jaw, his neck, his shoulders. His fingers played with the button on Gavin’s jeans, teasing him until Gavin bucks his hips.
Michael chuckled lowly, pushing his hand over Gavin’s groin, almost stroking the denim.
Gavin’s breath came fast and heavy. “Michael,” he mewled, “Michael, please.”
Gavin felt the button pop, felt the vibration of the zipper being pulled down slowly, agonisingly so.
When Michael’s hand slipped into his jean, though, the dreams always changed.
They were no longer in Michael’s room, but in the cafeteria at school. There was a large crowd surrounding them, and at the front of it was Lindsay. She wasn’t crying. She was furious.
“How dare you take him from me?! What gives you the right?”
Gavin always woke up, heart pounding, half hard, with an overwhelming sense of guilt.
After an entire weekend of the same thing, he was decidedly frustrated in every sense.
“Lindsay?” he called when he arrived at school on Monday morning. He’d insisted to Geoff that they get there early so he could talk with her.
Lindsay looked around, her face flush from laughing with Barbara about god only knows what.
“Gavin! Good morning!” she greeted. She’d cheered up considerable over the last few days. There was still a pain in her eyes when she saw Gavin, but it wasn’t blame. It was just loss, but there was also happiness, for him and for Michael, and for herself. She knew that letting Michael go, although perhaps not the best thing, was a good thing; she knew Michael was happier with Gavin, though he’d greatly cared for her. And she was free to be with someone that made her just as happy, if not more so, than he had.
“Hey, do you have a minute?” Gavin scuffed his feet against the floor in a nervous habit.
“Sure,” she followed him round to the side of the building where it was quieter, where they could talk in peace. “What’s up?”
Gavin stalled for a minute, biting his thumbnail. He glanced around, making sure they really were alone before saying, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Lindsay tilted her head to the side in confusion. “With Michael and me?” he clarified.
Lindsay’s face relaxed, an easy smile appearing. “Gav, how many times do I have to tell you? Of course. You make him happier than I ever could, and that’s what I want.”
“Okay, but are you sure?”
Lindsay laughed at Gavin’s nervousness.
“Fucking hell, Gavin, yes; it’s fine. I’m happy for the both of you.”
Gavin grinned then, his anxieties falling away. “Thank you, Linds!” He ran off to find Michael – he’d not seen him all weekend - leaving Lindsay chuckling, shaking her head.
Gavin walked through the hallways with a spring in his step. He passed his friends and said hello, but was determined to find Michael.
He was walking past the cafeteria when someone grabbed his arm and dragged him into the disused classroom from a few days previous.
“Michael! You nearly scared me to death you smeghead!”
Michael just chuckled, leaning in for a kiss.
“Good morning, boi,” Michael grinned when they separated.
“It is, isn’t it?” Gavin smiled, looping his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you all day.”
“Well, we’re here now.”
Gavin grinned as Michael kissed him again, firmly and urgently. His fingers tangled in Gavin’s hair, pulling him closer.
Gavin rested his forehead against Michael’s, smiling like a goon when they pulled apart once more.
He could have stood there for eternity, though he’d never say it out loud.
“What do you say we skip out on all of this?”
Gavin lifted his head so he could see Michael properly. “Geoff’d go mad…”
“Oh, c’mon, I can handle Geoff. I’ll have us back before the end of the day. He won’t even know.”
“Where would we go?”
Michael shrugged. “I dunno. We could, uh, go back to mine? Mom’s at work… Or we could go out? Get some lunch?”
“It’s barely eight o clock.”
“Fine, breakfast then. I know a place.”
Gavin thought it over, though he really didn’t need to. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Michael grinned, relieved. “Great, come on, then, while everyone’s busy arriving. I have mom’s car.”
“You can drive?” Gavin asked as Michael pulled him through the halls.
Michael looked back at the Brit for a second, smirking. “Yeah, I can drive.”
“Legally?”
Michael snickered and Gavin sighed, becoming a little nervous. Skipping out on school, driving around without a license; what other rules could they break?
They reached the car – a black SUV with dice in the window – and climbed in. Gavin glanced out of the window, hoping no one he knew was watching. If Geoff somehow found out, he’d be dead – they both would be.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
Michael glanced at Gavin before turning his eyes back to the road, pulling out of the parking lot and making his way into town.
“We can go back if you want. I just thought, y’ know… it’d be nice to go out on- uh, to go out.”
Gavin sighed before grinning. “Yeah, all right, then.”
Five minutes later they pulled up alongside a park.
“I thought we were getting breakfast?”
Michael turned the engine off and face Gavin, smiling. “We are.”
“What, are we gonna turn into giraffes and eat the trees?”
Michael raised an eyebrow and Gavin grinned.
“No, dumbass. The café’s in the park. Come on.”
They climbed out of the car and Gavin headed round to Michael’s side. Michael took his hand and they entered the park.
It was a nice day, with summer’s pending arrival evident in the warmth of the sun and the life in the trees. Gavin took a deep breath and felt Michael squeeze his hand as they walked. The warmth of Michael’s hand calmed him, and he hadn’t realised how nervous he’d become during the drive until he glanced over at his boy, taking in his features, soft in the sun, his freckles more apparent.
He was falling fast.
“I talked to Lindsay, earlier,” Michael said, throwing Gavin a sidelong glance.
“Oh?”
“She said you were worried.”
It wasn’t a question. Gavin wondered how she’d managed to catch him before Gavin had.
“I wasn’t worried, I was just, uh…”
“You know she’s cool with us, right?” Gavin loved how Michael had said ‘us’ so easily.
“I know, I just… I broke you up, and you were both so happy together, and I just…”
Michael sighed, stopping to turn and face Gavin. “Gavin,” he said softly, much unlike his usual tough demeanour. “I was very happy with her. Happier than I’ve ever been before.”
Gavin felt his heart drop. Every second he spent with Michael was the happiest of his life, but he was always expecting Michael to realise that he had nothing on Lindsay. He was dumb and childish and lanky where she was bright and mature and beautiful. Michael must have seen his face fall, because he cupped it in his hands, bringing their faces closer together so the only thing Gavin could see was Michael’s eyes, bright and wide.
“I was happier with her. But then your stupid ass came along and I realised, at that party, that as much as you get on my nerves and annoy the shit out of me, I love you, Gavin.”
Gavin’s eyes widened and his fallen heart swelled in his throat.
“What?” he whispered, too scared to blink in case he was dreaming again.
“You heard me, jackass,” he grinned. He was going to say more, perhaps ask Gavin to say it back, but he didn’t get the chance. Gavin wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, bending slightly to press their lips together.
The warmth of Michael’s hands seeped through the back of his shirt, easing the worry, reinforcing Gavin’s affection for the other boy.
It was a quick kiss, soft and chaste.
“Now, what say you we go and get some breakfast?”
*
“Where are Gavin and Michael?” Geoff asked at lunch, immediately noting their absence.
“In town,” Ray commented before realising his error. “Uh, I mean, down… the hall?”
Geoff just glared as everyone else laughed at Ray’s feeble attempt.
“That was pathetic, Ray,” Barbara snickered. Ray just shrugged nonchalantly, stuffing his mouth with more fries.
“Where are they, Ray?”
“I just said. They’re in town.”
“Where?” he growled. Ray just rolled his eyes.
“I dunno. Some café downtown in the park.”
“Get up. I’m driving.”
“Road trip!” Barbara called, punching the air. “Shotgun!”
“Guys-” Geoff tried to protest, but when he saw half the table stand and head out of the lunch room, he sighed. He didn’t expect their whole group to be able to just walk out of the door and drive off, but maybe luck was on his side (or against him, however you looked at it) because no one stopped them or chased after them when they pulled away.
“Where’s this café, then?”
“I don’t know!” Ray sighed, staring at the roof of the car, eyes shut. “Michael said it was the other side of town. He also expressly told me not to tell you.”
“Well, you fucked up on that one.”
“What do you think they’re gonna do, Geoff?” Lindsay laughed from the back, squeezed in between Barbara and the door.
“I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t care that they’re together. They can do what they want, so long as they do it in school.”
“So you’d let them bang in a janitor’s closet?” Ray said, seemingly half asleep; everyone but Geoff laughed.
After a few minutes of silence, filled only by the occasional snicker, they pulled up outside the park.
“That’s Michael’s mom’s car,” Lindsay commented. “This must be the place.”
“Right, stay here,” Geoff demanded of the car full of teenagers. No one listened and soon enough the entire group of them were standing on the sidewalk. Geoff sighed and shook his head.
*
“I’ll have a pint and a steak,” Michael grinned, winking at the waitress. She blushed and, after, taking Gavin’s order with a sour look, scurried off into the kitchen.
“How did you do that?” Gavin remarked, trying to ignore the burning jealousy in his stomach. Even after what Michael had said that morning, he still worried.
“I’ve been here before.”
“Did you sleep with her?” Gavin blurted before he could stop himself.
Michael looked hurt for a fraction of a second before he laughed. “No, I didn’t.”
“So how did you-?”
Michael pulled out his wallet, taking a card from it and showing Gavin. “Fake ID you dumbass. You think I sleep around?”
Gavin balked, eyes wide. “No! Of course not. I just…”
Michael smirked, one brow raised, resting his head on his palms. “You just what? You think I’m like that? You think I whore myself out to anyone who looks at me appraisingly?”
Gavin blushed at how easily Michael could talk like that. “No! No, just forget it.”
“Even if I was like that, I wouldn’t be if I was with someone. Even if I did have whorish tendencies, I’m faithful. Faithful enough, anyway,” he commented, the mood turning dark for a moment, both of them thinking about the kisses behind Lindsay’s back, the moments together.
Their orders arrived and Michael nodded his thanks, not taking his eyes from Gavin. Gavin just flushed with embarrassment.
They were halfway through their lunch when Gavin, who was facing the large floor to ceiling windows, choked and kicked Michael under the table.
“Ow, you asshole, what was-! Uh-oh.” He quickly turned around and dumped his mostly full glass of beer on the table behind them, trying to act natural when he turned back around.
“Gavin!” Geoff barked from the doorway. Thankfully the café was mostly empty and the waitress was in the back. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Gavin swallowed before grinning sheepishly. “Having lunch?”
“Gavin, I told you last time-”
“All right, Geoff, back down. It’s not the end of the world,” Jack chuckled, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“His parents rely on me to keep him in line. He should be in school. You both should be!” Geoff said, though his anger was turning into exasperation. He knew he couldn’t really say anything – he’d skipped out on school plenty of times. But Gavin was like a little brother-cum-son to him, and he wanted him to do well, to achieve where he couldn’t.
“Why don’t you join us for lunch?” Michael chimed in as though everything was fine. “It can be a quadruple date or whatever.”
Gavin stared at Michael then. Michael just grinned and winked at him.
It was a date. It was their first date. Or maybe it wasn’t. Was their last trip out a date, too? Gavin just smiled, smitten.
He took a bit of convincing but finally Geoff conceded that they may as well get lunch now they were there. He ended up paying for everyone else, much to his dismay.
Despite his initial anger and frustration, it turned out to be a great afternoon.
Geoff found himself smiling every time he clocked Michael and Gavin huddled close together. He was happy for them. He looked over at Lindsay and was glad to see her laughing easily with Barbara and Jack.
*
Gavin rested his head against Michael’s. After a wonderful day out with his friends, he and Michael were tangled up in Gavin’s single bed. Geoff and Griffon had gone over to Ryan’s to give them some space, though Geoff had given then a strict talking to before he was dragged out of the house by Griffon, who threw them a wink and a sly, “Condoms are in the bathroom cabinet.”
And they’d made good use of them.
Neither of them had really known what they were doing, and it had been awkward and slightly painful, but in the end it had been everything Gavin had dreamed of and more.
Now Gavin was sore and sleepy and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his boy’s arms.
“Gavin?” Michael whispered, trailing his hands up and down Gavin’s arms soothingly.
“Mm?”
“I fucking love you, boy.”
Gavin grinned and shuffled to face Michael. It was dark but he could tell Michael was watching him, could feel the slight shake in his hands, hear his heart beginning to race under his ear. Michael was worried.
“I love you too, boy.”
Gavin saw Michael’s mouth stretch into a grin, allowed himself to be pulled into an embrace, a kiss, loving and soft but firm, as if they could show just how much they meant to each other through their lips alone.
Gavin suddenly thought back to the beginning of school, of how they fought and argued, then to the party, to their first kiss at that party. He thought about their entire journey to now, the fights and hurt and hope and heartbreak and … love.
“I love you, too,” he repeated just before he fell asleep.
And he slept soundly; he didn’t dream, because all he’d dreamed of was in his arms.