Chapter Text
"I have school tomorrow until 6, but I think when I get back here I'd like to go on patrol," Peter said, fingers playing with the bracelet containing his suit. "Nothing big. Just rescuing cats and helping old ladies."
It had been a few days since rescuing Tony, and in that time Peter had kept quiet about it. About wearing the suit. Now they were in his bed at the Tower, cuddling and chatting. The room was lit by his old nightlights which had slowly been dimming in the past several weeks.
"I'm down for that." He squeezed his waist.
"I'm not okay, not completely, but I think I can do it. I want to do it. I miss being a hero." He elbowed Wade before he could say the cheesy line he'd opened his mouth to say, "Don't even say it. You know what I mean."
He laughed softly, "Yeah, yeah."
The day after wearing the suit for the first time in two years, Peter hadn't been okay. He'd woken from a night terror, not as intense as they used to be but still as unpleasant, and hadn't been up for much talking. Wade had seen his moments of dissociation but hadn't so far experienced Peter flat out refusing to speak, and Tony had helped him understand what was happening as best as he could.
"What about you?" Peter asked.
"Me?"
"Yeah. I know it hasn't been easy for you either. Does being in the suit make it worse?"
"Oh. Not really. But I never thought of me and Deadpool as two different people; the suit's mostly just so I don't have to wash blood off my clothes."
Peter's nose scrunched in disgust, but he didn't say anything to that.
"And I can't exactly stop doing what I do when I have rent to pay."
"Suppose that's true."
"I'm also really great at repressing things. Like, almost as good as Stark."
"... Should I make you an appointment with my therapist?"
He still saw her once a week. She was proud of his progress, nearly as proud as he was. Not as often as before, but he and Tony would still step out to the roof to watch the stars and it hardly caused him anxiety anymore. When sleeping at Wade's, they'd sometimes forget to turn on the lamp and he occasionally didn't notice its absence.
"Think she'd end up needing her own therapist."
"You'll come with me, then? Tomorrow?"
"Of course! Wouldn't miss seeing you in that suit."
"Good." Peter pressed a kiss to his shoulder, "I need to get used to being Spider-Man again. I don't want you or Tony to go without backup anymore. I know I can't always be there with you, you have your own missions all over the place, but if I can be there, then I should be."
"Tony has the Avengers, and I can't die. Don't force yourself to do this for us. We're fine."
"Just because we've been working on things, doesn't mean I trust them to take care of Tony."
After cursing out the Avengers, Tony had insisted on fixing the strained relationship between them as he'd apparently taken it upon himself to make Peter like them. They'd been having group dinners and training sessions whenever possible. It wasn't that he didn't like them, per se. He couldn't trust them.
Tony was family, he was the father he didn't have for most of his life; anything they did to him he took as a personal offense. But being perfectly honest, it wouldn't affect him as much if they'd done those things to him instead.
"As for you, well..." Peter placed his hand on his cheek, thumb stroking below his bottom lip gently, "Just because you can't die doesn't mean you can't be hurt. If there's anything I can do to protect you and I don't do it, then I'm pretty sure that would make me a horrible boyfriend."
"You're the best boyfriend," Wade said in his defense. "But if you feel like you're ready for this, then I'm so down. The Avengers are nothing without Spider-Man."
Peter could only laugh.
The next day, after returning from school, he spoke to Tony privately without Wade around to add his unhelpful commentary. He loved him, dearly, but sometimes he couldn't bring himself down to earth long enough for a serious conversation and it drove him a little mad.
"I'm going to head out on patrol for a little while with Wade. I just fed Lilo, she should be fine until we get back."
When he'd first gotten Lilo as his service dog, he hadn't been able to leave her side. And Tony and May's. He was finally regaining some of his independence and it was like learning how to breathe all over again.
"Are you sure that's a good idea? You were a bit... off, last time."
"I know. But you gotta start somewhere, right? Two years ago I couldn't even leave this building."
"You still wearing the watch?"
Peter pulled back his left sleeve to show the watch that served as a monitor, "Of course. This is going to be simple stuff. I'm not throwing myself into anything I'm not ready for."
"Alright. Just - be careful, alright? And if you need me, give me a call. No matter how late it is."
"I know, I know, but-"
"And if you say, 'when am I not careful?', I'm going to make a one hundred page PowerPoint to show at your wedding. Don't test me."
"Yes, dad." Peter rolled his eyes.
"Alright, go on then. Make sure you get some food in you before you leave."
"Yes, dad."
That tone of annoyance was usually an indication he was being a bit overprotective, but he couldn't care when Peter was calling him 'dad' like it was completely normal. It was coming out more and more often; 'Tony' replacing 'Mr. Stark' and then 'dad' replacing 'Tony'. It made his heart melt in the most sentimental way possible.
Pepper and Rhodey found it equally hilarious and adorable.
Peter left him with promises of grabbing some dinner while he was out. He met Wade at his apartment, both of them in their suits and ready to fight petty crime.
If they came across anything bigger, he vowed to himself that he'd either notify the police or Tony, depending on the situation.
He remembered the papers that had come out two years ago. Some positive, some negative.
'Where is Spider-Man?'
'Good riddance to Spider-Man!'
Would the people want him back? He didn't know, but Wade was on his side and he focused on the genuine gratitude given to him from people he'd helped, even for the small things.
Thanos had taken so many things; half the universe, Peter's mental health. He didn't get to keep Spider-Man, not forever.
Not much happened, in retrospect, but it was an amazing night.
The suit was a before-the-end-of-the-world thing, and Wade was an after-the-end-of-the-world thing; together, the world itself was easier to face. He made jokes and made light of anything they came across, insisted on snack breaks and stopping to talk. Not about their feelings, necessarily, but about whatever was on their minds.
At the end of the day, it wasn't about being a superhero. It was about doing the right thing.
"Can we do this again tomorrow?" Peter asked once they were back home. They'd washed up and were lazing in front of the couch, Zootopia playing on the TV. Wade's arm rested around his shoulders and he entwined their fingers over his chest.
"Whatever you want, baby boy."
"But do you want to?" If asked, Wade would claim to be selfish. Peter knew this wasn't the case. Not always.
"Of course I want to. I want to be wherever you are."
"Have I told you how much I love you today?"
Wade hummed and pretended to think, "I don't remember. You might have to say it again."
Peter laughed, "I love you more than... cheese."
"Today's cheese? I am moving up in the world!" He pulled Peter close to press a wet kiss to his cheek, making an obnoxious smacking sound. He kissed him over and over, making him laugh and pretend to pull away.
"I change my mind, I change my mind! You're so gross." Peter covered his face with one hand and pushed him back, using the other to wipe the saliva off his cheek.
At that moment, after several hours in the lab, Tony finally made his way up for bed and simply shook his head at them. He was used to it.
"Get to bed! You have school tomorrow," he reminded Peter before slipping through the living room and into the hall where he'd find his bedroom.
"Yes, dad!" Peter called out after him, grumbling quietly but seeming in agreement as he pulled Wade off the couch. "Bed?"
"I can go for some snoozing."
They completed their night time routine and curled together under the blankets. His room was a disaster; their clothes thrown all over, Wade's weapons in various states of cleanliness cluttering the floor and Peter's projects and homework overflowing any available surface. Friday turned on the night lights, dim projections of the Avengers floating across the walls.
"You should add you in there." Wade pointed to the lights on the ceiling.
"Mm. Actually, I was thinking tonight we go without. Friday? Turn off the lights," he ordered and they flickered off in response. "I got all the hero I need right here," Peter teased, patting Wade's cheek affectionately. His eyes grew used to the dark, latching onto his boyfriend's face and taking comfort from his warmth next to him and Lilo's presence in her own bed a couple of feet away.
Wade whispered, "All the cheese, so much cheeeeese."
Peter kissed him quiet.
The sky was dark and the stars were hard to see in the midst of the bright city lights, but they were there out in the universe; along with billions of lives that had been given second chances. For now, in this room with the man he loved, his mind was quiet and so was his heart.
Two years ago, he'd been a stowaway on a spaceship flying off to a far off planet to help his mentor and a stranger and to take part in a battle he was definitely not prepared for. They had lost and his body had been torn to shreds, broken into ashes, and locked in darkness until they were saved by Tony Stark and his band of renegades.
Peter Parker remembered the end of the world so that no one else had to.
If asked, he'd say he'd make that sacrifice again.