Chapter Text
Wonwoo thinks Mondays are great! Nope, no sarcasm intended! Monday is, without a doubt, the best day of the week because it’s the reason why nothing goes right. Got stuck in the traffic jam? It’s Monday, man. Feeling unproductive at work? Blame it on being Monday. Clients are being difficult and are constantly emailing you about making unnoticeable changes to a very much finalized product and you’re not getting paid enough for it?
It’s because it’s god damn Monday!
It’s as if everyone is still hungover from the last 48 hours of weekend freedom and nobody really wants to get back to their weekday routine. And Monday being well, Monday sounds like a good excuse for just about anything because who is fully functioning at 8:00am on a Monday anyway?
So you can imagine Wonwoo’s confusion when he stepped into his shared office space to see a man who looked like he just jumped out of a university’s welcome brochure sitting at Jeonghan’s desk. His hair was brushed neatly, his dress shirt was pressed to perfection and he looked way too happy to be doing work at 8:00am.
“Good morning, sir.” The man said with a smile as he got up from his seat to greet Wonwoo.
“Uh, morning.” Wonwoo said. It was too early in the morning (on a Monday, for God’s sakes!) for him to process any of this. “I’m sorry but, who are you?”
“Oh, I’m Jeonghan’s personal assistant, sir. Nice to meet you!” The man answered in a cheery tone.
“Right.” Wonwoo said with uncertainty. “Jeonghan’s personal assistant.”
The man nodded enthusiastically before getting back to what he was doing earlier.
Wonwoo placed his bag on his desk and took a seat on his chair. The man was seated opposite of him and he was typing away on Jeonghan’s computer. The following was Wonwoo’s thought process in order.
- I hate Mondays.
- Hm, I better remember to water the plants on my desk.
- Do cactus plants need water?
- I should look that up.
- I’m hungry.
- Ramen sounds really good right now.
- What’s that clicking sound?
- This guy types really fast.
- I wonder where he got his shirt?
- Wait, why does Jeonghan have a personal assistant?!
“So, you’re - uhm, Jeonghan’s personal assistant?” Wonwoo asked. “Is that code for something…else?”
“I’m not sure what you mean by code, sir. I’m a professional hired personal assistant and I help Jeonghan with his daily tasks to make his life easier.” The man answered.
“Oh cool, I thought maybe you were one of his many-”
The man looked on cluelessly.
“Friends.” Wonwoo coughed. “Anyway, I’m Wonwoo. You don’t have to keep calling me ‘sir’. We’re probably like, almost the same age.” Wonwoo extended his hand for a handshake.
“Sorry, sir. It’s our company’s policy to not form a relationship or bond with our client’s personal family, friends, colleagues and whoever that is part of their lives. We keep this professional and we do our jobs - which is it get the job done.” The man answered politely before getting back to his task.
“I respect that.” Wonwoo nodded and retracted his handshake.
Of course, only Jeonghan would know where to hire professional personal assistants. Wonwoo was impressed.
“What do you actually do, though?” Wonwoo asked, after a moment of hesitance.
“I carry out his everyday tasks and duties. Anything to ease out his schedule and life. For instance as per Jeonghan’s request, I come in an hour earlier to get a head start on his work tasks so he can sleep in and get the recommended 8 hours of sleep that he needs!” The man chirped.
Wonwoo’s eyes widened. Impressed is now an understatement.
“Great! Where can I get a personal assistant?” Wonwoo said, with a glint in his eye.
***
“Monday traffic is the absolute worst-”
Mingyu stopped his tracks upon entering his office. There were two guys sitting at the desks and they were clearly not his colleagues.
“Morning, sir.” They both greeted with a smile.
“M-morning.” Mingyu stuttered. “I think I got the wrong office, sorry.”
He walked away from his office and looked around. It was definitely Seventeen’s headquarters. He fished out his phone to check his work e-mail to see if he missed out on any announcement about new employees. There were none. Mingyu scratched his head in confusion. Maybe the Writers know something about this.
He flung the door open to the Writers Room only to be greeted by Seokmin’s shrieks.
“Mingyu! Knockles exist to knock, you know?” Seokmin said, rubbing his palm against his chest for relief.
“Knuckles, Seokmin, knuckles.” Jun groaned.
“If they’re knuckles then why isn’t it knucking?” Seokmin retaliated.
Minghao shook his head. “I’m way too sober for this question.” He said.
“He could definitely use my help.” A random guy said. The rest agreed in unison.
Mingyu had to do a double take to be sure that there were four other guys in the Writers Room. They were all dressed in smart office attire and they reminded him of the two guys who were in his office.
“Hold up. Who are these people?” Mingyu gestured towards the four guys. “There are also two other guys in my office and - oh my God, are we fired from our jobs?” He panicked.
“No, no! They’re our personal assistants.” Seokmin answered. “We hired them.”
“Personal assistants?” Mingyu questioned.
“Yeah. Wonwoo told us about them. They basically help you with everything! Anything from doing your paperwork to even doing your laundry!” Minghao said. “Why wouldn’t you have a personal assistant, you know? It makes total sense.”
“So, they basically do things that you’re too lazy to do?” Mingyu said with skepticism.
“Oh, Mingyu. You naive boy.” Joshua slung his arm over Mingyu’s shoulder. “Listen, in the words of the wisest woman I know, Miss Marie Kondo-”
“Bless her.” Jun saluted.
“Does it spark joy?” Joshua continued.
“Does it what?” Mingyu repeated in confusion.
“Does juggling multiple tasks, having 5 different meetings in a day, and whatever you’ve been doing, spark joy?” Joshua asked again, pulling himself closer to Mingyu.
“I…mean, it’s part my job so -”
“But does it spark joy, Mingyu?” Joshua repeated with a firm tone as he stared straight into Mingyu’s eyes.
“No!” Mingyu spurted out. “I guess it doesn’t. Not really, no.”
“That’s what I thought.” Joshua took a step back and gave Mingyu a pat on his back. “Let’s get you a personal assistant.”
One of the guys at the back immediately made a phone call while the other took out forms from his suitcase.
“But, guys, this doesn’t feel right. We’re paying people to do our jobs. I’m not sure if it’s ethical. Should we rethink this?” Mingyu voiced out of concern. He folded his arms together and frowned.
“Dude, listen. We get free access to their headquarters and they have a wine bar. A freaking wine bar. An all day free flow wine bar.” Minghao said in a loud whisper.
Mingyu’s frown immediately turned into a smile.
“Hand me those forms now. I need a personal assistant ASAP.”
***
It didn’t take long for Seungcheol to notice that something wasn’t right. First of all, the office was quieter than usual. That itself, was a warning sign. Secondly, there were a bunch of people who he didn’t hire working in the office. He walked past the offices and stared blankly at the strangers with his mouth agape. It didn’t help that they all stood up to greet him in unison the moment they noticed him standing by the door.
In the words of James Charles, he was sister spooked, to say the least. He quickly made his way to the Editors Room to notify Soonyoung and Jihoon about it. To his relief, Soonyoung was there but Jihoon wasn’t.
“Can someone explain to me what’s going on? Who are you and why are you not Jihoon?" Seungcheol asked, pointing at the stranger who was sitting at Jihoon's desk.
"Who are those guys in suits working in my office? Why do they all look at you, smile, stand up and greet you in order and in sync? Are they robots?! Has AI gone too far?”
“Well, calm down.” Soonyoung clasped his hands together. “So, personal assistants are a thing now and pretty much everyone in the office got one?”
“Personal assistants? Even Jihoon got one?! I can’t believe this.” Seungcheol slapped his hand on his forehead. “They’re in so much trouble. I am not paying them to pay others to do their jobs!”
Jihoon’s personal assistant gulped.
“On the bright side, the interns are still here!” Soonyoung said, his voice sounding higher than usual.
“They are? I’m going to stop them before they get personal assistants too.” Seungcheol said as he walked towards the door but stopped to turn around to look at Soonyoung dead in the eye. “Don’t go anywhere!” He said.
“Yup! I won’t! You better stop them, Seungcheol!” Soonyoung laughed nervously as he watched Seungcheol storm out of the Editors Room.
As soon as Seungcheol was out of sight, Soonyoung crouched below his desk.
“You can come out now.” Soonyoung signalled for his personal assistant to come out. “If he ever comes back and asks where I went, just say I was never here. Got it?”
“Got it.” His personal assistant answered as he crawled out from Soonyoung’s desk.
“You’re the man!” Soonyoung smiled and flashed the guy a thumbs up.
“No, sir. You’re the man!” His assistant said, pointing two thumbs up at Soonyoung.
“I’ve thought you well, Soonyoung 2!” Soonyoung nodded proudly before hurrying off.
***
“I can assure you, we’re not getting personal assistants.” Seungkwan said. “Come on, we’re supposed to be the assistants.”
Vernon and Chan agreed.
“Plus, we can’t afford it.” Chan added. “It costs more than our monthly salary.”
“If only we were paid that much…” Seungkwan trailed off the last bit whilst avoiding eye contact with Seungcheol.
Seungcheol placed his hands on his hips.
“Okay, you guys are going to tell me everything you know about this whole professional personal assistant thing going on in the office.” He said with an affirmative voice.
The interns looked at each other and exchanged looks.
“Apparently, Jeonghan started it first.” Seungkwan said with a shrug. “I didn’t confirm it nor deny it so don’t take my word for it.”
“I’ve been told that they pretty much do every single thing you ask them to do. Their motto is literally, “Anything to make your life easier.” Vernon said, hands forming a rainbow.
“They?” Seungcheol questioned.
“Oh yeah, they’re from the new company that just moved upstairs.” Vernon added. “Turns out that’s the service the company upstairs offers.”
Seungcheol’s eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Hey, isn’t that Soonyoung?” Chan chimed in.
Soonyoung was seen running out the door with his bag in hand. So much for being subtle.
“Soonyoung too?” Seungcheol exclaimed. “Okay boys, we’re heading upstairs to find out what’s this all about.”
***
Seungcheol’s game plan was simple. He was going to go upstairs, explain the situation to the person in charge, find out where his employees are and return back to their office. He wasn’t expecting much. They were probably going to give him a bunch of papers to sign and everything should be back to usual in no time.
The moment they reached the 14th floor, Seungcheol wasn’t sure if they were still in the same building.
“Whoa!” Seungkwan marvelled.
The front of the office was sleek white with neon green accents. They couldn’t see into the office due to the translucent glass walls but anyone could tell it was a huge corporation and not just some dingy startup.
“Oh! What’s this?” Chan said.
There was a white panel on the wall and Chan tapped on it before Seungcheol could stop him. Just then, a hologram appeared with the words, “We’ll be at your assistance shortly.” A small panel above the ceiling opened up to reveal a security camera. Seungcheol jumped at the sight of it.
“You kids sure we’re at the right place?” Seungcheol questioned.
The sliding door opened to reveal man who looked like he was in his 20’s. He was wearing a blue dress shirt with slacks and had his hair swept up. At this point, Seungcheol couldn’t be too sure if the man was an actual person or an AI robot.
“Hello! Welcome to NCT.” The guy smiled. “How may I help you?”
“I’m Seungcheol, one of the editors from Seventeen. Our company is downstairs and -“
“Oh! What’s up, neighbour? I’m Johnny. Nice to meet you!” Johnny said. He had this laidback aura to him and he pulled Seungcheol in for a bro hug. “Sorry, I didn’t get your names.” He said, looking at the interns.
“I’m Seungkwan and that’s Chan and this is Vernon.” Seungkwan answered. “We hold pretty important positions at the company.”
“Yup.” Seungcheol said in a deadpan.
“Awesome! Please come in!” Johnny gestured for them to enter the office. “I apologize, the office is in a bit of a mess right now because we just moved in and everyone is pretty busy with work.”
It this was a mess, the Seventeen headquarters was probably comparable to a pig sty. The interior of the office was clean, spacious and brightly lit. It was an open office space and the employees were seen working at different corners of the office which was decorated to a certain theme. It was definitely not as uptight and formal as the exterior made it up to be.
“So, I actually came here to ask you about the personal -”
“Ah! Before that, can I bring you guys for a tour around the office? I’m sure everyone would love to meet the neighbours!” Johnny interrupted.
“Yes! We would love that!” Seungkwan answered almost immediately. “If only our office was this cool.”
Chan nodded his head in agreement. He stopped when he realized Seungcheol was glaring at them from the corner of his eye.
“Let’s go then!” Johnny said. He brought them over to the first corner in the office. “This is the Dream lab.”
It was a colourful space with beanbags, arcade games, vending machines, huge whiteboards, and computers. It reminded them of a lounging area at a university. There were a few people in the space and they were all manoeuvring around the space on hoverboards.
“Why are they on hoverboards?” Vernon asked.
“It makes them think better. Sometimes your feet can’t keep up with the speed of your mind.” Johnny said, tapping on his forehead.
Chan let out a chuckle, thinking it was a joke but Johnny just stared back at him with a serious look. Seungcheol coughed and nudged Chan with his elbow.
“So you guys manage personal assistants right?” Seungcheol said.
“Anything to make people’s lives easier.” Johnny nodded. “The Dream lab is where we make dreams into reality.”
Johnny called over one of the guys from the Dream lab and he came towards them on his hoverboard. He looked young, probably even younger than Chan. He wore a pair of headphones around his neck and clung onto an iPad. Unlike Johnny, he was dressed in a casual t-shirt and denim jeans.
“Haechan, these guys are from Seventeen! Their office is right downstairs!” Johnny introduced.
“Seventeen magazine? Cool!” Haechan said. “Nice to meet you guys! I’m Haechan and I’m a researcher here. I pretty much look into how we can merge technology and culture together to revolutionize the way people are living. Currently, we’re experimenting with personal assistants and how they can be utilized to make one’s life easier. Call it redefining the traditional notion of ‘helpers’ and ‘assistants’, if you will. My job is pretty boring.” He laughed. “What about you guys?”
“Uhm.” Chan hesitated.
“We’re inter-”
“Introducing a new way for readers to consume the content of our magazine. Redefining…what a magazine could be by…experimenting with digital media. If you will. Yeah.” Seungkwan quickly added.
“Yeah, that.” Vernon pointed at Seungkwan.
Seungcheol shook his head in amusement.
“I’d love to know more about how you’re digitalizing your content but I’ve got a really important call from MIT that I need to pick up in 5 minutes. Do drop by if you have the time.” Haechan said before heading back to the Dream lab on his hoverboard.
“Y-yeah! We’ll drop by! With our proposals! And…other documents!” Seungkwan blurted.
“Ah, he’s the son my parents always wished they had.” Chan sighed.
“Thanks Haechan!” Johnny hollered. “Let’s move on!”
Johnny brought them to the next space. Most of the space was neon green, from the furniture to the decorations and even the stationeries. There was only one guy working in that space and he lifted his head up from his computer when he realized there were guests. He had pastel pink hair, sharp features and he was wearing a white graphic t-shirt that was tucked into his slacks.
“Taeyong, these guys are from Seventeen.” Johnny said. “My guy, Taeyong is part of the NCT 127 team and he manages the personal assistants in Seoul.”
“Perfect! I’m actually here to terminate the contracts of my team’s personal assistants.” Seungcheol said, clasping his hands together. “That sounded less colder in my head.” He whispered to himself.
Taeyong’s face scrunched in confusion. “Is there a problem with the personal assistants, sir? Are they not as competent as you would like them to be? I can look into it.”
“No, nothing like that! I just would like my employees back in my office. Their personal assistants are sort of taking over their jobs.” Seungcheol said.
“Unfortunately, only the clients can terminate their contracts and your employees have signed a one week trial contract with us.” Taeyong explained.
“Also, it’s Monday. It’s against the laws of the universe to terminate contracts on Mondays. It’s not good for the feng shui.” Johnny said in a serious tone.
“Oh.” Seungcheol blinked.
Johnny and Taeyong started laughing. “We’re just messing with you guys!” Johnny said. “Our servers are still warming up and it’s slower on Mondays for some reason so we might take some time to process the paperwork.”
Seungcheol and the interns joined in with forced laughter.
“So that was a joke but the hoverboard theory was real?” Seungkwan whispered to Vernon. Vernon shrugged in response as he continued laughing awkwardly.
“They’re all at the lounge right now. Maybe you would like to discuss it with them personally?” Taeyong suggested.
They made their way to the lounge and Seungcheol immediately understood why his employees were here. It was like a vacation packed into a space. There were hammocks where you could take naps, a massage parlour, a mini arcade with various games, a private library and even a wine bar. Music from a live jazz band welcomed them as they entered the lounge.
Everyone in Seventeen has a Seungcheol-instinct. They can feel it in their bones whenever Seungcheol is within the vicinity.
Jeonghan was peacefully sleeping on a hammock when his Seungcheol radar went off. His eyes shot open.
“Seungcheol is here, isn’t he?” He asked.
Jihoon lifted his head up from his hammock to take a look.
“Yup.” He said and went back to closing his eyes.
Mingyu spat out his 4th glass of wine and it stained Minghao’s shirt. The writers collectively crashed into each other and lost their game of Mario Kart while Soonyoung and Wonwoo tried their best ignore the whole situation by hiding behind their massage chairs.
“Alright, can I have everyone from the Seventeen team gathered here?” Johnny called out.
They gathered at NCT 127’s space along with their personal assistants.
“Before Seungcheol says anything, can I just say that bad decisions are typically made on Mondays and Monday is to blame for this.” Wonwoo said, with his right hand raised.
Mingyu tugged onto Wonwoo’s shirt to signal him to sit back down.
“I’m terminating your personal assistants’ contracts.” Seungcheol said firmly.
There was a moment of silence in the room. The rest were itching to defend themselves but no one dared to say anything. They glanced at each other, waiting for someone to say something first.
“But whyyyy?” Jeonghan whined.
All hell broke loose.
“You can’t do that! We need each other to coexist!” Joshua said. “Right, Mark?”
“Right.” His personal assistant, Mark nodded slowly with uncertainty.
“They’re so efficient! How can you get rid of them?” Jun added.
“Who’s going to water my plants?” Wonwoo said as he cupped his face with worry.
“I can’t park my car sideways without Doyoung.” Jihoon said, voice breaking.
Seungcheol sighed. Everyone was talking at the same time and understanding each and every one of them is an acquired skill he developed over the years.
“This happens a lot to us, too.” Taeyong said to Seungcheol. “It’s like 500 alarms going off at the same time. I feel you, brother.”
“Everyone calm down!” Seungcheol said. “Don’t you guys see the problem here? It’s only been a day and everyone is already so dependent on their PAs. Imagine if you were given the privilege of having them for the rest of the year. Do you want to end up like the people in Wall-E?”
“Bro, that’s deep.” Johnny said. “Shoutout to Wall-E.”
“Seungcheol has a point. We can’t just throw our responsibilities at them. Sure we’re paying them but it’s not fair. They’re human too.” Mingyu said.
“Or are they?” Johnny cheekily added.
Everyone in Seventeen looked at each other wide eyed in shock. It was illogical but no one could 100% deny the possibilities of it being true. However, the personal assistants were having none of it.
“We’re very much human.” Ten said in a deadpan.
“Just messin’ with ya!” Johnny chuckled to himself.
Sighs of relief were heard.
“I guess it’s time to go our separate ways.” Joshua said in a solemn tone.
“I’m gonna miss you, Lucas!” Soonyoung cried as he hugged the younger male tightly.
“You helped me with my paperwork, did my laundry and stopped me from impulsively buying those horrible Balenciaga shoes. I truly never had a better friend. Thank you, Sicheng.” Minghao said to Sicheng.
“Before everyone says their goodbyes, here’s the thing.” Taeyong interjected. “Their contracts are officially terminated but there’s still a week left and everyone has paid the full amount. It would be a waste if they didn’t finish the trial.”
The rest immediately looked at Seungcheol with puppy eyes.
“Fine. On one condition - your personal assistants don’t get to help you. Everyone has to learn from their personal assistants on how to manage their own tasks instead. Deal?”
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Soonyoung’s eyes lit up. “We’re destined to be together!” He said, as he clung onto Lucas. Lucas cheered and hugged him back.
“Now let’s get back to work!” Seungcheol ordered.
They all got up to leave the NCT headquarters.
“What a Monday, am I right guys?” Wonwoo said as he slung his arms around Mingyu and Jeonghan.
“We really gotta do something about your thing for Mondays.” Seungkwan noted as he walked past him.
***
There was a knock on the Editors’ door. Seokmin entered the office with a bunch of papers in hand.
“Here’s the draft for my upcoming article.” Seokmin handed over the papers to Seungcheol. “Maybe you can have a look at it and tell me what you think?”
Seungcheol took those papers and skimmed through them.
“This looks really good, Seokmin. Good job!” Seungcheol praised.
“Thanks! Jaehyun helped me a lot.” Seokmin answered.
Seungcheol hummed. “You know, our workflow really improved after everyone had their personal assistants.” He said.
“Yeah, I’ve never seen the stylists so productive and we’ve got so much content to write about.” Seokmin nodded.
“Maybe I should hire them instead, huh?” Seungcheol said.
Seokmin laughed but Seungcheol just stared back at him. He immediately stopped laughing.
“Wait, did you mean that?” Seokmin asked in slight worry.
“I’m just messin’ with ya!” Seungcheol laughed.
“Right, right! I mean, you’ll never replace us right? C’mon you love us!” Seokmin laughed.
Seungcheol got up from his seat. “I’m gonna go get some coffee.” He said.
Seokmin watched Seungcheol walk past him and out of the office.
“You love us right! Tell me you love us!” Seokmin yelled as he ran after Seungcheol. “I promise I’ll stop photocopying my butt on the copy machine!”
“You what?!”
“Opps.” Seokmin turned around and ran to the Writer’s Room to hide as Seungcheol ran after him from the back.