Chapter Text
I went to bed feeling like an ass. I went to work the next morning feeling even worse. I tossed and turned all night replaying what happened with Nesta over and over again. She didn't reply to my apology the night before, confirming that she never wanted to speak to me again. Perhaps going back to the coffee shop and speaking to her there would help. The day went by in a blur, with a few worried glances from Rhys and Azriel. I shrugged off their glances and did my job like regular, not speaking much. Which is unusual for me.
The next morning I took off as soon as possible, not bothering to look at my phone. I didn't need another reminder that Cassian thought, no-- knew, I was a ice hearted bitch. Dressed as nicely as I could, I went straight to the library. The head librarian knew me from all my research there and gave me a once over when I handed over my resume. She looked it over and then sighed.
"I'm going to be honest with you because I know you will be fine with the bluntness. You lack the qualifications needed for the job on paper. Never having a job before is a serious mark against you."
I felt my hope start to fall apart. No. I had never had a job before and I really hadn't planned to start here but Feyre needed help. I wasn't even sure of where to go from here.
"However," the librarian cut into my thoughts. "The job has been posted for a while and there have been no other applicants. You have spent a lot of time in this library the last two years and are familiar with the staff, our systems, and the building. I think in this case we could make an exception. Do you think you could start training today?"
I had had visions of going to the coffee shop right after this to work on my novel but all of those thoughts went out of the window.
"I would love to start right now."
I sat at the coffee shop for over an hour waiting for Nesta. I could feel the hope slipping out of me, moment by moment. Eventually, after my tea had turned to ice, I heaved a sigh and walked out the door. My hands shoved in my pockets, I hunched as I walked back to my car. The same damn color as that damn computer. Cauldron, I was such an ass. I needed to talk to someone, anyone, just to get some of the weight off my shoulders. I pulled out my phone and texted my two brothers. My two best friends and asked them to meet me for a drink. Maybe they could offer some advice.
Feyre was in disbelief when I came home and told her about the job. Elain more so as she seemed more naive about the struggles Feyre had endured to keep her two older sisters from starving or living on the streets. Nonetheless Feyre insisted we have a proper celebration of my first job. She took a long look at the pile of bills as Elain listed off all of the nice restaurants in town.
"We will celebrate next Friday when I get my first paycheck. No use celebrating before then," I told them. "Then we can go somewhere really nice."
I felt better after having drinks with my brothers and telling them about my interactions with Nesta. They called me an ass, just like I knew they would, but it was teasing, playful. Azriel didn't say much, only not to dwell on it too much. Even though he was quiet, he spoke true when he did open up. Rhys told me it wasn't all my fault. We were like fire and ice, he said. We wouldn't mesh well at first, but things would work out in die time. I never heard back from Nesta in the days after our incident. I tried not to think about it too much as my brothers and I sat in our favorite restaurant toasting to Rhysand's most recent business deal. Building apartments for those with low incomes, and possibly getting the homeless off the streets.
"To Rhys!" I rejoiced, holding my drink in the air. There was more I was going to say, but my eyes landed on an intense beauty, glaring at me from across the room.
How did he ruin everything? We were finally out to celebrate my job. Feyre was finally enjoying a night though I saw her looking at the prices on the menu with apprehension. Elain was happily chatting about flowers and plants. And for the first time in a while, I hadn't been thinking about Cassian and how he was probably cursing my name to the deepest levels of hell. But then I had heard that loud, obnoxious voice boom across the restaurant. Sure enough, straight across from me was Cassian with a group of people. Probably the people he considered real friends, not horrible bitches like me. And of course it had to be the one moment I was feeling good about myself and not thinking about him.
"Who are you glaring at?" Feyre demanded.
"Nobody," I growled and turned myself back to my sisters and our celebration but somehow half of my attention remained on that heavy hazel gaze across the room.
"She's here," I half whispered. Rhys and Azriel were looking at me like I had just seen a ghost.
"What was that?" Rhys asked. "Are you alright?"
I swallowed hard and forced my gaze away from her. "Nesta is here," I repeated, louder this time. "She's the one glaring at me from across the room." My brothers immediately turned to look at her. Luckily, she had turned her attention back to the two women with similar features that she was with. I was willing to bet they were sisters. "Should I go talk to her? She hasn't read the apology message I sent to her. Maybe she really does hate my guts." I shook my head. What was this? This woman who made me doubt myself so. I have never backed down from a challenge. I took a deep breath through my nose, trying to steady myself. I have never backed down from a challenge, and it was something that I never intended to do. I released my breath, and set my drink down on the table. "Watch me make an ass of myself, boys." Without waiting for a response, I rose from the table and made my way over to Nesta's table.
A large shadow fell across my table and I refused to look up. He must not have felt his message of how horrible I was had gotten through well enough. Now he was here to make some scene in front of my sisters and this entire restaurant.
"Oh, hello. Something we can do for you, Sir?" Elain's happy voice made me cringe. She would address him and make me have to face him.
At least one of the sisters was friendly enough. The other one gave me a weary look, and Nesta wouldn't even look at me.
"Hi. My name is Cassian. I actually came to apologize to Nesta. I was rude to her the other day." Her head snapped up at me, and I felt the ice spread across me, cooling my too hot face. Fire and Ice, Rhys had said. "I was sitting with my brothers and saw you sitting over here. I'm sorry for interrupting." I motioned to where Rhys and Azriel were sitting, staring at me. Rather, Rhys was staring at the sister who gave me the weary look, the look on his face was one of someone who had just walked into heaven. "Can we talk later?" I asked, turning my gaze back to Nesta. "Please?"
I stared at him. He had come to apologize to me? I was the one that had been in the wrong. This couldn't be right. I had to be hallucinating. But Elain kicked my leg under the table to break me of my stupor.
"I should think you were quite clear enough the other day. What more needs to be said? You owe me nothing else. Perhaps you should enjoy the company of people that you actually like." I looked away from him then and downed my glass of wine in one gulp.
She had to make things difficult. Maybe she just wasn't interested in me. But I couldn't just walk away from her. No matter how hard she tried, and how tempted I was to leave her to her own misery, I wanted to help her get out of it. I wanted to ease her pain. And I had just added to it. "I think there is a misunderstanding somewhere here. I don't exactly know what I was clear or unclear about." I smiled broadly at her sisters. "Perhaps you'd all like to join my brothers and I for a drink." I suggested. I turned to the one that had yet to speak. "I think Rhysand would like to meet you." I gave her a wink and stood back from the table. "Drinks are on me, ladies."
"Oh that would be lovely, Mr. Cassian," Elain rose and offered her arm to him. I almost rolled my eyes.
"May we have a moment?" Feyre cut in. Cassian nodded and returned to his table after offering a tight smile. Only after he was gone and Elain had sat did Feyre turn to me. "Would you prefer we turn him down?" I blinked. Here she was trying to protect me again even though I was the oldest.
"He's offering to pay for our drinks," Elain pressed. "He can't be that bad and the men with him are gorgeous. My vote is we go."
"Excuse me," Feyre rose and before I could stop her, she made her way to Cassian's table. They exchanged a few words and then she was on her way back after the very brief exchange. I could see Cassian's friend staring at her the whole way. She took her seat and looked between me and Elain. "We should join them, but only after we have eaten dinner. We did come here to celebrate together after all. So let's do that first."
I knew I had lost when both of them were in agreement so I simply nodded my confirmation. I ordered my dinner when the waiter came around but I could feel Cassian's eyes on me as the food arrived and we ate.
The girls took their time eating their food. I could tell Nesta was eating extra slow to delay having to come over and have a drink with us. Sometimes I didn't know why I bothered. Her sister, Feyre seemed nice enough though, and Rhys couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. I didn't get a chance to introduce them when she came over and spoke to me, asking what I wanted to apologize for. She seemed content with my answer and sat back down with her sisters. When they finally finished their meal, the three stood and join my brothers and I at our table. We all ordered our drinks, and there was a tense silence for a moment. Azriel cleared his throat subtly, jolting me into speaking.
"Nesta, these are my brothers, Azriel and Rhysand Nox," I told her. I don't know why I threw in Rhys' last name in there. Maybe to make myself seem more important. Perhaps it was because I was tired of Nesta looking down her nose at me.
Nox. I knew that name but I couldn't quite think of where. Maybe it had been in passing but I didn't quite think so and the way that Rhys was giving Cassian the unimpressed look told me that he didn't like his name being said.
"Wait... Nox. The Rhysand Nox?" Elain asked, her eyes widening just slightly. When he nodded, she started bouncing in her seat. "He owns Nox Industries!"
I kept my jaw from dropping just barely. Half because the noted richest and most powerful businessmen in Prythian was in my presence, staring at my youngest sister as if she were the moon and half because this was a person Cassian called his brother. It was no wonder he owned some fancy vehicle and didn't mind dropping money on a laptop for some poor girl. I was probably some charity case to someone as wealthy as him.
"My sisters," I managed to squeeze out of a suddenly tight throat. "Elain and Feyre."
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," Rhys said smoothly, extending his hand to Feyre. She blushed slightly and grasped his hand, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Azriel nodded in greeting to the three of them, keeping his hands on his lap under the table.
"Cassian here was telling is how he made a fool of himself the other day," Az said quietly to Nesta. "His temper does get the better of him sometimes. Please, do forgive him so he will shut up." Elain suppressed a giggle with her hands, and Feyre's face lit up with a smile, making Rhys smile in return.
"Something tells me that's not possible," Feyre said. The whole table erupted with laughter. Except for Nesta. She didn't smile, she didn't laugh. All she did was sit there and scowl.
His brothers and my sister seemed to be getting along famously, mocking Cassian. He seemed good natured enough to take it, far from the temper that they were talking about. Perhaps that was just reserved for her.
"So what do you say, Nesta, forgive him so his brothers can have a chance at some silence?" Elain asked, laying a hand on my arm. All eyes turned to me and silence fell. I hated it. I didn't want this attention. But the only way to make it go away was to forgive the bastard for being right about me. It wasn't like I would have to see him again after this moment. It didn't even have to be genuine. I just needed to say the words.
"Fine. You're forgiven."
Her words were nothing but a cop out. Nothing more than to get the attention off of her. I don't know why, but it grated my nerves to hear her say the words. I wasn't looking for forgiveness. I was looking for the chance to actually say that I was sorry. Hearing her say those words was just a slap in the face. I wanted to call her out on her bullshit, but I decided that making a scene in my favorite restaurant probably wasn't the best idea. Instead, I gave her a tight-lipped smile and said, "Thanks." Without giving anyone a chance to speak, I rode from my seat. "I'm going to order another round of drinks and hit the can. I'll be back shortly." Going to the restroom was just an excuse. I had to walk away before my temper got the best of me. I knew my brothers could feel that something was wrong. That something was off. I tried to make things right with this girl to have it thrown back in my face.
Awkward silence followed Cassian leaving the table. It was clear he wasn't happy and that I was the source. His brothers kept passing looks between them as if they were speaking without words. They passed me enough glances for me to know I was possibly the subject. And my own sisters weren't much better. Elain was invested in the floral print of her skirt and Feyre was simply watching me as of she were studying me. I felt my temper rising and my cheeks start to flush. I opened my mouth to tell her to mind her own damn business but she stood just as the words failed to come out.
"I need to use the ladies’ room." She informed the table and slipped away.
The cold water helped soothe my temper as I splashed it on my face. Curse that wretched woman and her intense beauty. Curse her cold demeanor. I wanted to melt the ice around her heart, but she made it so damn unbearable to even be nice to her. I patted my face dry with a paper towel and prepared myself as best I could and left the restroom. Only to run into one of her sisters. Feyre. The one whom Rhys was head over heels for.
"Cassian, can I talk to you for a second?" She asked. I nodded for her to continue, and she took a breath. "Believe me, I know how Nesta is. She's not the easiest person to deal with, but I think it's because she feels too much, and she doesn't know how to process it. So it comes out as coldness, or anger. I don't know what happened the day you bought her computer, but something changed. She offered to get a job at the library to help out with bills. She's never offered to help with anything before." Feyre paused and examined my face. "I think you'd be good for her. Just don't give up quite yet." She gave me a small smile and patted my arm. "Now go, before they think we're up to something." Giving me a playful wink, she walked towards the ladies room. I could see her and I becoming fast friends.
Cassian returned with that damned cocky smile back on his face. But instead of speaking to me, he turned his attention to Elain, drawing out a conversation about flowers and plants until well after Feyre returned. Talk then turned to Feyre and her work, her cheeks flushing as she talked about waiting tables to one the most powerful businessmen in Prythian. It didn't seem to be deterring Rhysand any though as his eyes stayed trained on Feyre as though she might disappear if he looked away.
"And what is it you do, Nesta? Your computer seemed pretty important," Rhysand asked when Feyre ran out of things to say.
"I work at the library and write in my spare time," I explained.
"Are you looking to get published?" Rhysand pressed the conversation forward until we were talking about my book and how to seek a literary agent. We spoke until it got late enough that Elain was yawning. That alone prompted an end to the drinks. I pretended not to see Rhysand slipping Feyre his number as we strode towards the door together. It was easy to do as Cassian caught my eye and held it, telling me he had something more to say. He jerked his head and moved away from the others outside, a clear indication I was to follow. Likely he was taking back his apology and didn't want the others to hear. It was best to get this over with so I followed without looking back.
I took a deep, studying breath before I turned to face Nesta. "I did want to apologize, you know," I said before she could bite my head off. "And I meant what I said, about wanting to be your friend. You just don't make it very easy." I leaned against the side of the building and crossed my arms. "I shouldn't have left you like that. I've been beating myself up for it the last couple of days, and I'm sorry. Truly. I'm not going to apologize for what I said, because part of me thinks you needed to hear it, but I'm sorry for losing my temper. And I'm so sorry for making you get out of the car. I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you." I stopped talking, keeping my gaze on the ground, expecting Nesta to flip out and say something to cut me down.
I stared at him. He was apologizing and I knew he meant it. Not about the words which we both knew I had deserved, would always deserve, but for being mad.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You were right. I don't know what it's like to have friends." I shrugged, feeling the cold of the night seeping into my skin. "I can't blame you for getting angry either." I shouldered my purse and looked to where Feyre and Elain were walking away towards the bus stop that would take us home. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine and you can let it go."
I could do nothing but stare at her as the words left her mouth. She didn't bite my head off. She understood why I got angry.
" Do you want to?" I asked her, before she could walk away. "Know what it's like? Because I would very much like to be your friend." She shifted on her feet. "Just think about it," I said, knowing she had to get back to her sisters. "You have my number."
I let the words settle in like stones in water, one at a time making ripples of thoughts as I walked away without saying anything more. I could feel his eyes still on me as I caught up to my sisters. They didn't comment on my absence or my failure to join in the conversation about Feyre calling Rhysand or not. I wasn't sure I wanted to be friends with anyone. Friends meant commitments of some kind. At the least I'd have to see that buffoon for outings. I'd have to give up my sacred personal time. And he would want to talk. I'd have to listen to him and his damn cocky, obnoxious voice, and look at his stupidly handsome face, and ridiculously muscled body. I felt my blood go hot in my veins at the thought and I wasn't sure I liked that at all. So I did what I had been doing best, ignored my phone and any thoughts of sending Cassian a message of any kind.