Chapter Text
“Memories of the… real thing?”
Tsurumaru seemed to relish in the silence that followed his statement. Ichigo, however, felt like the rice in his throat was stuck, making his chest hurt a little. He wished he could chalk off the words to be some sort of joke, like the kissing thing, but with the past few weeks of his brothers telling him of their dreams, Tsurumaru’s appearance in them, and how these visions could be a reality… It felt like a crack in his perception of life.
But, one crack wasn’t enough to deem a vase unusable, and life was more complex than a vase. (Then again, there seemed to be more and more cracks showing up…)
“Yup! Let me tell you a story. Whether you believe it or not, that’s up to you.” Tsurumaru scooted his chair back and crossed his legs, ignoring the food before him. “Once upon a time, a long time ago but far in the future, there was a person. This person was elected to be one of many important persons to wield the future of history in their hands. They were given the power to summon spirits to aid them in their cause. These spirits came from swords throughout history and fought for them.” Tsurumaru’s voice dipped for dramatical effect, leaning forwards on the table towards Ichigo. “But one day, their spirits revolted against them. No more war. They just wanted peace… or something like that.”
“… And then what happened?” Ichigo couldn’t help but ask. The corners of Tsurumaru’s lips turned up.
“You will have to come back next week to find out more.”
“… Huh?”
“Pff-“
Ichigo’s head snapped to look at Shokudaikiri, who had covered his mouth too late. Shokudaikiri casually picked up his empty plate and walked to the sink to avoid more distraught looks from Ichigo.
“What do you mean next week?” Ichigo had only intended this to be a one-time visit! His conscience wouldn’t be able to handle another visit behind his brother’s backs. Especially if it was to this person’s house. If any of his brothers found out... Well, no harm would befall him probably, but just the thought of their sorrow-stricken faces left a pain in Ichigo’s heart.
“Yup, next week. If you want to come sooner, I would be very happy, but you live far away right? Oh! How about we meet somewhere halfway like at a café or at the movies?” Tsurumaru’s eyes seem to sparkle with a hidden joy, which Ichigo chose to ignore.
“That is a kind offer but… May I ask why you would want to meet at another time to say what you can say now?”
“What makes you think I can say everything now?”
Ichigo was taken aback by the words. What did that mean? He felt his face turn hot in embarrassment and stayed silent for a good moment. Tsurumaru seemed to be kinder than Ichigo realized when he felt a soft pat on the top of his head. Ichigo looked up from his knees and saw Tsurumaru’s once smiling face grow solemn.
“There there. You asked how I knew your little brothers, right? I can give you that at least. So, look happier! I don’t like seeing you sad.” Ichigo’s face grew hotter, but for what reason he wasn’t sure. Tsurumaru, seeing the other look more relaxed, smiled again and gave himself the pleasure of stealing a few more head pats before sitting back down on his chair. “These dreams they have stem from memories, I think. In the past I have met them, and they have met me. I guess something weird happened that you guys don’t remember everything, but they are still the same as ever. Well, actually, they used to be a little nicer but time changes people, I guess!” Tsurumaru laughed and Ichigo couldn’t help but give a guilty smile. Tsurumaru had noticed how rude his brothers were!
-----
“You didn’t need to walk me back, Tsurumaru-san.”
“Oh, it’s no big deal! I invited you to come over so the least I can do is make sure you get to your bus safe and sound.”
Before having left the house, Tsurumaru had insisted to walk with Ichigo to the bus stop, much to hiss dismay. But, now that they were walking side by side, Ichigo couldn’t quite recall why he had felt so much dread to the idea. Besides the awkward reality of Tsurumaru knowing a lot more than he let on, he was an enjoyable conversation partner.
“How are your brothers doing by the way? They should be around school age so… Any stories to share?”
Ichigo smiled and nodded. “Of course. They are doing well, I think. If they are having troubles in school, they aren’t sharing but I believe they are adapting well. We had them transfer a few years ago in the middle of the year so I was afraid they would have trouble making friends, but they are all very popular! Midare is considered the idol of his grade. You would not imagine how many love letters I have found around the house addressed to him.”
Tsurumaru laughed, shoulders shaking. The genuine amusement warmed Ichigo’s heart. Those at his work didn’t care so much about tales related to his brothers. Then again, those were his coworkers and Tsurumaru was a… Stranger?
“How about you? Any love letters come your way?”
“Me? Hahaha, not at all. We are in a rather rural area and most of my neighbors are as if family. My coworkers are mostly married as well, or high schoolers who look only to the city for their future. And besides, love letters are not something adults usually get, right? …” Ichigo curled a finger around his chin in thought. He wasn’t sure if this was true or not. He was not the sort to be familiar with romance besides what things he heard from his coworkers, and that wasn’t enough to sustain a wide library of knowledge by any means.
“I guess you are right. But that sure is shame.” Tsurumaru put on a sly smile and leaned in closer to Ichigo. “Maybe I should send you a love letter. Oh Ichigo Hitofuri, the reason for my seasons. May this not be our once-in-a-lifetime encounter, but the encounter of a lifetime!” Tsurumaru waved his arms around dramatically, and the silliness got to Ichigo.
“Hahaha! What are you even saying? If you did send that to someone, I would worry for your future. Aren’t love letters supposed to go along the lines of… I have held this for so long. My heart and soul aches for your company. Please grant me the pleasure to be by your side for this lifetime and the next?” Ichigo also spun his words with some theatrics, pushing his hand to his heart and bowing his head. Ichigo turned his head up with a smile when he heard Tsurumaru begin laughing.
“Oh Ichigo Hitofuri, how can I deny such a request?! I do, I do, I do a thousand times over!”
The two continue conversing and joking as they walked to the bus stop. Ichigo at no point noticed that the distance between the two seemed to grow shorter with every step.
-----
Somehow, he agreed to meet up with Tsurumaru Kuninaga again. Next week, just as the other suggested. Ichigo didn’t give away where he lived, but he did suggest some place a little bit closer for him that the two could meet, and Tsurumaru agreed before even hearing where he wanted to meet. Ichigo wondered whether he should have given his contact information to Tsurumaru in case something came up with their meeting next week. What if he got lost and couldn’t find the park or something came up at work? …At the business that he owned…at his own home. Maybe Ichigo shouldn’t worry too much about that last part.
Snacks were prepared for his brothers by the time they got back home later that afternoon. Since there was still a guilty weight in his heart, his brothers were treated to special snacks today. Most of his brothers jumped at seeing the special “undeserved” treatment and hugged their older brother before running away to do their homework, but Ichigo knew that there was a trace of suspicion in some of their eyes. Of course, maybe he was just imagining he saw that cold stare at his direction. Guilt does things to a person, after all.
As usual, once bedtime hit, everyone migrated to their rooms to “sleep.” Ichigo knew they didn’t really fall asleep till much later, but if they were in their rooms then Ichigo didn’t really mind what they did. Today, Ichigo took advantage of this period to go to his own room and look over some records that he collected of his brother’s dreams.
At first, he didn’t write them down, passing them off as nightmares induced by them sneaking sweets late at night into their rooms. But as they began to reoccur, he jotted some notes down. Some of his little brothers even wrote their dream accounts down to validate them with each other, and later gave them to Ichigo. Of course, for the longest time Ichigo had brushed it off, but the worm of doubt had snuck in and now Ichigo was looking at everything very seriously.
Ichigo put on his reading glasses and got to reading.
After an hour or two of reading, Ichigo sighed and collapsed on his bed. His heart was racing as he stared at the ceiling. It seemed that most of the accounts were indeed linked with each other and whatever Tsurumaru had told him. Even Shokudaikiri seemed to be someone his brothers had seen in their dreams. And of course, there was those swords. Tsurumaru mentioned a certain person wielding sword spirits. Houchou collapsing upon seeing a sword. Atsushi’s name under a picture of a sword. Sword this, sword that. It couldn’t be just a coincidence!
It was difficult to sleep that night. Ichigo had contemplated waking his brothers to talk about their theories, to formulate his own… But no, they had school the next day and that would be irresponsible of him as their guardian. He himself had work the next day so despite his mind and heart racing, Ichigo forced himself to rest, leaving the thoughts of conspiracies for another day.
-----
“Ichinii, are you alright? You look a little pale.”
Midare pressed his hands against Ichigo’s cheeks, before pressing them against his own. Ichigo blinked and then smiled at his little brother.
“Good morning. Where is everyone else?”
“They are outside playing. I think they went hiking? Nakigitsune is leading them so it should be ok!”
“Then why are you inside?”
Midare laughed before looking around the room. “Oh you know, I wanted to hang out with you! You have been busy and now that it is the weekend and you are here, I felt that you needed some company. …Plus I didn’t want to go get dirty just yet.” Ichigo let out a light laugh and sat up, his body feeling sore. Midare seemed to notice some discomfort and patted his elder brother’s shoulders.
“Are you feeling sick? You are a little warm. Are they overworking you at the store!?”
“Not at all. I…don’t usually get sick. I wonder…” Ichigo cast his gaze to his side table, where he knew countless writings lay. These past few nights had been spent looking and writing over his brother’s dream records, and he had been accumulating his own theories. Perhaps with the lack of sleep, and the stress on his soul, there had been a toll on his body.
“You are not hiding something from us, are you?”
Ichigo turned back to look at Midare, a little shocked at the sudden accusation. He was hiding something, but to be suddenly called out was not expected.
“Don’t tell me you… got yourself a lover?”
“Not at all. What are you even talking about?”
Midare sighed and crossed his arms, taking a seat near Ichigo’s legs. “You don’t have to hide it from us. We are rooting for you, Ichinii! You are definitely staying up late texting her, aren’t you? It’s ok! You can go on a date with them, but make sure she isn’t getting you sick! You know, kisses are a way to transfer colds and—”
“Midare, I am serious, I don’t have a lover. How did that even get in your head?” Ichigo was now sorely amused at the accusation, though for some reason Tsurumaru had come into his mind. Had they known he had went to visit someone a few days back and came up with this theory?
“Well you see, in school, some boys got sick because they were talking to their crushes and not sleeping well. Oh! And sometimes, the girls would get sick when their crushes rejected them…” Midare shot another look to Ichigo, testing whether that was the reason behind Ichigo’s failing health, and was met with his own rejection.
“Maybe other people get sick because of that, but no… I just haven’t been sleeping well.” Ichigo rubbed underneath his eyes. “Actually… Have you guys been having any more of those strange dreams?”
Midare seemed to freeze for a solid minute before slumping and nodding his head. “Yup, but not as many as before. Um… Why do you ask?”
“Can I not ask? … But yes, I suppose I do have a reason for asking. I have been thinking back of your dreams and whether or not there is a reason behind it all.”
“You still haven’t had any of those dreams, right?”
Ichigo shakes his head, and then Midare’s smile returns. “Then you shouldn’t worry about it. We are sure there is some greater reason too, but… We are happy with how things are now. We will just let dreams be dreams! Just like you suggested.”
Ichigo accepted a small pat from Midare. Perhaps two weeks ago those words would have brought Ichigo some happiness, but now, it only made him uncomfortable. Were his brothers really alright with just waving it off? After everything they must have seen in their dreams, the questions they have had go through their minds for these past few weeks, months, perhaps even years? Ichigo wondered if that meeting with Tsurumaru turned them away from finding their truth, or perhaps…
“Are you simply saying that for my sake?”
Midare didn’t answer and gave a few more pats before standing up from the bed. “Ichinii… We want to be happy. But more than that, we want you to be happy. I think we should leave things as they are. Oh!” Midare’s smile returned along with him bouncing on one leg. “While everyone is out hiking, can we go to the store? My soap ran out!” Midare reached down and pulled Ichigo out of bed.
“Wait, I am not dressed yet!”
“Oh come on, hurry! We have to go before everyone else returns or we will never leave!”
Ichigo was successfully dragged out of the house, barely managing to leave a note for the others about his whereabouts before being forced to the local store. Though Ichigo knew they was meant to be a distraction for him (though Midare surely needed some more soap), Ichigo allowed his little brother the pleasure of leading him around. However, it gave him no “happiness.” What even was happiness in these circumstances?
Ichigo paused his step while looking at a can of coffee in the aisles. He was going to meet Tsurumaru in a few days. Perhaps he would be able to find out more. Maybe he could find happiness.