Chapter Text
Five’s stomach ached. They were so used to going days between stops that having food readily available felt wrong. They continuously ended up accidentally starving themself for days on end, forgetting that hunger could be addressed, and they overdid it a little this time. They felt a little light headed and didn’t trust themself to walk down the stairs, so they just stayed upstairs. They tried to read some book they found on the shelf so nobody would question why they weren’t moving, but they couldn’t focus their eyes enough to see the words, let alone comprehend them.
“Are… Are you reading one of Allison’s old romance novels? The ones with the ‘disgusting narrative structure’ as you said about a week ago?” Vanya sounded baffled and Five wanted to jump off the roof. Of all the books they could have grabbed off the shelf, it had to be some shitty romance novel.
“I’m a masochist.” They responded, but their voice was not quite strong enough to pull it off in the way they intended.
“Okay? Is there anything I can help you with?”
“No, I’m fine,” Five insisted, but their stomach betrayed them. It grumbled louder then they previously thought possible. Vanya stifled a laugh.
“Do you want some food?” Five sighed.
“Yeah.”
‘Do you want to get up and get some.”
“I would love to, thing is, I’m not to confident in my ability to walk down the stairs without passing out.”
“Oh, well, um, you can lean on me, okay?”
Five nodded slowly, and leaned to the side to put their book down then started shifting their feet so they could get up. Vanya wrapped her left arm under their arms and grabbed their hand that was now sling over her and started rising slowly. As soon as they were upright Five’s vision went black for a second and they put their free hand on their forehead.
“Are you okay?”
“Mmhmm, just need a second so I can see.”
“Then we’ll wait a second.” Five nodded again and pulled their hand down once their vision cleared.
“When was the last time you drank any water, or just anything besides coffee?”
“... Monday, I think.”
“It’s Friday.”
“I’m aware.” No matter how much Five tried to deflect with sarcasm, their voice just wouldn’t let them.
“Ready to move?”
“Yeah.”
As soon as the took a step it hit Five that they were touching. Like a lot. Honestly, that distracted them enough for them to go a few more hours without food, so they almost made the move to sit back down but remembered they didn’t have to do that. Food was readily available, they just forgot it was all the goddamn time.
“You think you’re ready to go down the stairs.”
“Probably,” They said weakly.
The wall down the stairs felt like descending from Mount Everest while sleep deprived. Luckily, the tingly feeling that came with so much touching. As they got closer and closer to the bottom of the staircase Five leaned more and more into the touch, whether they did it for support or because they wanted to touch Vanya as much as possible is entirely debatable.
“One more staircase and we’ll be in the kitchen, can you make it?” They nodded, but they started swaying as soon as they slowed down, “Are you sure? I could just go and grab something for you to eat in the living room.”
“No, I can do it.”
“Whatever you say,” Vanya shook her head and tightened her grip. Five’s heart started beating faster. Her hand was pressed right against their ribs and it felt so intense and god fuck how do people handle this. They zoned out entirely, only feeling Vanya’s hand on their ribs, her arm on their back, her fingers gripping theirs, and before they knew it they were sat at the table and all that was gone while Vanya grabbed a box of mac n cheese and turned on the stove. They were just barely able to suppress a whimper at the loss of touch.
“Do you want sour cream and onion or original Pringle’s?”
“The first one.”
“Wrong answer, but since you’re the starving one I’ll allow it,” Vanya laughed to herself.
Five suddenly realized that they hadn’t heard Vanya joke like that with anyone else and it made them sad. They’d been so close when they were young and then they’d just… left her their.
“Hey Vanya,”
“Mmhmm?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I know it’s a little late but it was inconsiderate of how that would affect you,” Vanya looked startled, from what Five’s somewhat compromised vision could make out.
“I… don’t know what to say. I missed you a lot, Five. Being here without you was hard, but I accept you apology. You were thirteen and just trying to get Dad to listen to you. I kinda admired you, for standing up to him, you know?”
“It was stupid and irrational,”
“So was what happened to all of us as kids. I’m not gonna say you had it better then any of us cause that just isn’t true, but I used to imagine you did. That you had found a place where you could be free from all that shit and just, I don’t know, move on.”
“I spent the whole time I was gone trying to get back. I knew how bad it was there, but it was the only home I knew, you guys were the only home I knew. I’m just glad to be back,” Five’s head started pounding, “Now, I’m glad we’re doing the whole emotional discussion thing, but if I don’t drink some water right now I’m gonna kill someone.”
Vanya got up and filled a glass and put it down in front of them. They gulped it down like a wild animal then slammed the glass on the table. A second passed before either spoke.
“Thank you,” They said quietly
“Don’t worry about it.”
Every inch of Five itches to reach out to her, but the alarm she’s set for the mac n cheese rang so she stood up and started pouring it into two bowls. She put the larger bowl in front of Five and started to sit in the seat across from him.
“Wait, sit next to me,” They said quickly, before they could back out.
“Okay?” She walked around the table and pulled out the chair to their right. As soon as she sat Five scooted their own chair a few inches closer to hers and immediately dug into the mac n cheese. Vanya could tell something was off besides the starvation. Five never asked anyone to be closer to them, so something had to be up. She stared, intensely focused, at her mac n cheese as if it had the answers to what her sibling was trying to communicate to her. She saw that Five’s fingers were tapping at the table and slowly moving toward her, and it hit her. She reached out and put her hand over theirs. If they hadn’t been so into the mac n cheese, Vanya would’ve seen the smile that spread across their face. She pulled their hand off the table and just held it as she started eating the pasta, a small smile pushing its way forward. Once both of them had finished their meal, they looked over at each other and smiled much more tentatively.
Five scooted their seat even closer and leaned their head on Vanya’s shoulder. Vanya let her head fall on theirs. Neither of them quite wanted to talk about it, but they knew it was necessary to at least debrief a little. Five peaks dup at the side of her face before starting to speak.
“I’ve been having some, um, issues, as of late when it comes to touch. Well, lack thereof. I went way to long with no human person to touch so now I want to make up for lost time but I don’t know how and it’s very overwhelming. Klaus has been helping me out for a few weeks and Diego jumped in after we went out to dinner last week. If you don’t want to put up with my weird clinging, that’s okay, I won’t make you, but I wanted to at least let you know,” There were tears in Vanya’s eyes.
“Five, of course I want to help you. I’m by no means used to this kind of thing, but I want to be. Maybe we can work together,” she laughed wetly, “Two touch-starved adults trying to figure out the ins and outs of casual intimacy.” Five laughed and grabbed her hand again. They stayed there for just long enough for their necks to get stiff, but neither regretted it for a second.