Chapter Text
When Adrien came to school on Friday morning, he didn't exactly expect Marinette to drop a pickup line that was smooth as glass.
And boy-o-boy was that glass smooth. So smooth that Adrien fell down face-first on it.
As soon as the bluenette realized what she'd just said, she turned the same shade of red as Nathaniel's hair. "Crap crap cra..."
Did she just...flirt with me? With a cat pun?
It was at that moment that Adrien realized how badly he'd fucked up not only his sleep schedule but Marinette's speech patterns as well.
Oh lord, I've been rubbing off her, haven't I?
Despite the bell ringing, interrupting the little group from their break, Adrien's thoughts were still fixed on Marinette for the rest of the day.
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Returning home from an afterschool photoshoot, Adrien chucked his schoolbag aside before immediately crashing onto his bed facefirst. Plagg flew out of his bag.
"Adrien, count your lucky stars for that teacher. Seriously, no homework?!"
"Shut up Plagg, I'm trying to go to sleep!"
"Hey, for once you have time to do stuff! And don't you dare go binge-watch Voltron again. That show should be considered violence porn."
Adrien raised an eyebrow. "There's more to that show y'know."
"I do know and I don't care."
"Well, what do you propose I do then, O wise and powerful god of destruction."
"Eat camembert." Adrien rolled his eyes as he grabbed his water bottle for a drink.
"Apart from that?"
"Visting Marinette as Chat Noir." Plagg instantly regretted saying that as he was drenched by a mixture of saliva and sparkling water.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry Plagg."
"You know exactly what cats are like around water, Adrien. Get me a towel. I don't want to remain in contact with this filth."
After he'd gotten Plagg cleaned up(Thank god he didn't have cat claws, or Adrien's wrists would've looked like a failed suicide attempt), the kwami spoke again.
"Alright, fine. As punishment for doing that, you're going to Marinette's house and talking to her. Now."
"You can't threaten m--" Adrien was shut up by a glare from Plagg.
"You listen here and you listen good, cat-boy. I just got doused with water. Mouthwater, no less! Any more shit from you today, and I'll make the extinction of the dinosaurs look like a tantrum thrown by a baby compared to what will happen to your bedroom."
Adrien gulped, then sighed. "Plagg, claws out."
Chat Noir hopped across the rooftops of Paris, praying that their encounter wouldn't end in catastrophe.
As soon as he landed on the balcony of the Dupain-Cheng's bakery, he discovered that his prayers had been answered.
Unfortunately, it was by the devil.
The feline superhero howled in pain as he felt something snap onto his tail.
He grimaced as he took the tail gently into his hands, slowly deactivating the mouse-trap tied to it.
"What's this... A note?" "Dear Chat Noir, make one more damn pun when we're together, and I'll kill you. Sincerely, Marinette."
He looked to the mousetrap in his left hand. "Oh, the irony." Adrien opened the skylight without a sound, landing on the floor with all the grace of a cat. He turned on Marinette's nightlight.
"What's with the fur-osty greeting tonight, purr-incess?"
Despite being half-awake, Marinette was still somehow able to glare daggers with her bluebell eyes. "Go away, Chat."
"Why? Is it because of the fact you can't resist my devilishly handsomely looks? My chivalrous behaviour?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "If you can call your nightly intrusions of privacy the behaviour of a knight, I'd be Saint George."
"Your words wound me."
"As they should."
"Oh, I got it. Is it because of my flirting and my purr-fect cat puns?"
Marinette buried her head in the pillow.
"What, did I touch a nerve?"
The bluenette marched out of bed, grabbed a pencil, and thrust it right below Chat's throat.
"Your puns are the exact reason I'm even in this bloody mess."
Chat's green eyes lit up with glee. "Oh, do tell me more. I mean, it's not exactly like you're that confident."
"Is that a compliment or an insult?"
"I would never insult such a fair maiden. But coming back to the main point. How was it, flirting with him. Nervous? Exciting? Paw-lease tell me more."
Marinette began to speak before her eyes widened.
Oh sh--
Despite Marinette being nearly half a feet shorter than him, he felt like he was the prey here.
Especially when she began to smirk, her bluebell eyes taking on the glint of a hunter cornering its prey.
"How about you tell me more, Adrien Agreste."
Fuck.