Chapter Text
“i’m sick of your pining.” shinsou has been staring at him for the last twenty minutes.
bakugou gently (because he’s dealing with explosives, the fuck) twists the top on of the firework he’s working on then looks up, “really.”
“yes, so it’s time to put my plan into action.” shinsou nods, like it’s been decided. and what the fuck, fuck that.
“your plan.”
“operation bae filet.”
“hitoshi what the fuck.” bakugou questions.
“bakugou and eijirou fall in love, eternally together.”
“hitoshi, what the fuck.”
“look, i have a lot of spare time when the rest of the world is sleeping.” shinsou tells him.
“toshi, just let it happen in its own time.” bakugou doesn’t beg, but his voice almost sounds pleading.
“if i did that, you wouldn’t get laid again until we were forty-five. oh my god, when was the last time you got laid.” shinsou looks at him in horror.
“ shinsou .” bakugou warns.
“you met him in august and it’s april now. i know you haven’t locked me out since at least may of last year. oh my god . have you not had sex in almost a year?!”
“yeah, we’re done here.”
bakugou grabs his backpack and walks out of the apartment.
step one: the inquiry
they’re at the cafe, pretending to be busy but really they’re all just staring at him while he pretends not to stare at kirishima.
kirishima walks over and sits next to bakugou, letting out a groan.
“i just. i want it to be known that i tried.” he says before flopping his head down onto the table.
“and what, exactly, did you try?” mina asks him with a shit eating grin.
“gah, i feel so unmanly complaining.” kirishima whines.
“dude, you’re the most manly person i know.” kaminari tells him.
kirishima looks up and there are actual tears in his eyes. what the fuck.
“ bro.”
“bro.”
“okay we get it, you’re bros. what the fuck is up shitty hair.” bakugou interrupts before they can go on like this for another twenty minutes.
“ fuck ,” kirishima lets his head fall back onto the table, “i quit my job at the craft store. i wasn’t getting a lot of hours and the manager was creeping me out.”
“what did she do.” bakugou demands.
“it’s nothing really!” kirishima sees his look, “ugh, fine. she just, she kept like, making really gross comments about my body? and liked standing really close to me? and um, she may have implied that i could sleep with her to get a raise??”
they’re all silent for a moment, then:
“BRO WHAT THE FU–”
“EI!! NO–”
“where did the bad lady touch you, i want to know so i can stab her properly.”
“sero, what the fuck.” mina and kaminari stare at sero in awe.
“why the fuck do you feel bad about quitting when she was the one sexually harassing you.” bakugou demands.
“i’ve never quit before! i’ve always been laid off or like, softcore fired! i didn’t even put in a two weeks notice, i just told her i was done!” kirishima explains.
“ softcore fired.” kaminari whispers.
“so what? she was making you uncomfortable. she was in a position of power over you, and even if you were into her, that doesn’t give her the right to touch you or say creepy things.” bakugou tells him.
“okay, one: i’m gay as the sun. two: bro that’s so manly. ” kirishima looks close to tears again.
and, huh, so he is gay.
“it’s not manly, what the fuck, all i did was tell you the truth.” bakugou gives him a look.
“but now i don’t feel as shit about it! guys! bakugou has magic powers!” kirishima is fucking beaming.
gay as the sun, huh. well that makes two of them.
conversation devolves from there. they spend the next hour basically writing fanfiction about witch!bakugou. why the fuck was he friends with these dumbasses?
step two: fuck it, shinsou didn’t plan this far ahead, let’s just stick them in a closet and be done with it.
“how did my life end up like this.”
bakugou hates his friends, hates small spaces, hates the dark, and hates the redhead standing across from him.
okay that’s not fair, he doesn’t hate the dark.
he looks back at the last hour and tries to piece it all together.
they were playing pokémon on sero and kaminari’s n64 and playing their weird drinking game that they came up with years ago. everyone was there and they were all very much on their way to drunk.
then ochako looks bakugou dead in the face and announces, “let’s play truth or dare.”
“what are we, fifteen?” bakugou immediately rejects.
“no, bakubabe, this could be fun!” kirishima throws an arm around his shoulders and smiles at him.
they start playing.
the first few rounds are pretty tame.
“todoroki, truth or dare?”
“dare.”
“i dare you to suck midoriya’s big toe.”
“momo, truth or dare.”
“hmm, truth?”
“was it you that ate bakugou’s last granola bar third year and blamed it on me?”
“dare.”
“kirishima, truth or dare.”
“oh dude, it’s gotta be dare.”
“i dare you to kiss the cutest person here.”
“midoriya’s, where’s your cat?”
“ FOUL!”
“shinsou, truth or dare bro?”
“ugh, truth.”
“how the hell did you and bakubro become best friends?!”
“well, you see, it was second year. i was minding my own business, walking through the dorms when, suddenly–”
“yeah no, we’re not doing this.”
“bakugou!”
“no.”
“ugh fine, that’s fair.”
then:
“bakugou, truth or dare.” shinsou’s grin will haunt him for years.
“dare.” bakugou grits out.
“i dare you and kirishima to spend ten minutes in the Shame Closet.”
the Shame Closet came to be their junior year of undergrad, when todoroki and deku moved in. rules were, if you broke one of the Unspoken Rules, broke a glass, told a secret, or fucked up in some way, you had to spend ten minutes in the Closet. they’ve all spent a lot of time in there.
“i hate you and i hope your children are worse than we were third year of high school.” bakugou glares at him.
but he ain’t no quitter. so he grabs kirishima and pulls him into the damn closet. the door shuts with an ominous click.
the only light is a single, dying orange bulb. it makes kirishima look otherworldly. shadows catch on his jawline and collarbones and bakugou wants to bite.
“so, bakubabe–”
“shut up shitty hair.” bakugou stares at kirishima staring at him.
there’s something about the orange light that seems to soften him. he’s spent so long looking at the sun, and, fuck, he just wants a taste. just this once.
he moves.
one hand cups kirishima’s cheek and they other makes its way slowly to his chest, thumbing the collarbone.
“bakugou.” kirishima whispers.
“just, shut up.” bakugou tells him.
their faces are centimetres apart, he can feel kirishima’s breath on his cheeks, when he stops. then kirishima nods and that’s all he needs to close the small gap.
lips gently meet and someone gasps.
the sun tastes like pineapple and rum.
he discards the thought and moves his hand to kirishima’s hair, it’s much softer than it looks. kirishima makes a soft noise when bakugou tugs a few strands. then sharp teeth are biting into his bottom lip. and look, bakugou has thought a lot about those teeth, okay.
after what feels like hours but is, realistically, a minute and a half, they pull apart.
crimson meet rust and the world stills.
“ katsuki. ” it’s like the word has been punched out of him and leaves him breathless.
bakugou takes a step back. because if he’s gonna do this, he needs to be able to think.
“it’d take a lot to drag me away from you.” he starts.
kirishima stares.
“there’s a lot that i’d do for you, and blessing the rains down in africa is one of them.”
kirishima opens his mouth.
“it’s gonna take a lot of time to do the things we never had, but i can’t wait to do them with you.”
kirishima closes his mouth.
“hurry boy, it’s waiting here for you.” bakugou finishes.
silence, then:
“did. did you just use our song to tell me you’re in love with me.” kirishima whispers in awe.
“ei, for the love of fuck–”
“i love you too!” kirishima blurts out.
“oh thank the High Fuck.”
bakugou grabs kirishima and kisses him.
they don’t stop until they hear their friends cheering from the other room.
he’s never going to live this down.
step three: eternally together
“all i’m saying is that sebastian stan could fuck.” bakugou tells them.
“he’s on the List.” kirishima informs their friends with a grin.
“like the, ‘people i’m allowed to fuck even though we’re married’? that list?” sero questions.
“no, the Threesome List. what do you think we are, straight?” bakugou snorts.
“you both have a type.” mina tells them.
they both think about the List, look at each other, and shrug. she’s got a point.
“so bakubro, your last day of grad school is tomorrow. are you going for your doctorate?” kaminari asks.
“yeah, last time we talked, you hadn’t decided yet.” sero adds.
bakugou smirks at them, “i got accepted to the phd program.”
“BRO!” three voices yell.
“what’s the opposite of morosexual? because damn bakubro, your big brains get kirishima going.”
“denki, are you hitting on my boyfriend for me?”
“someone had to say it!”
bakugou slaps kaminari on the back of the head and ignores his squawk.
kirishima grabs his hand under the table and smiles at him.
breaking routine has never looked so damn bright.