Chapter Text
In which Karlie has a battle to win.
Karlie was known for many things, but arriving on time when it counted was not one of them. Thankfully for her, years of the unbreakable habit meant she was becoming an expert at getting ready in a very short amount of time.
Within ten minutes of arriving home from her run, she had showered and changed into a new set of clean clothes. In another five, she was out the door once again.
“7:15,” Karlie checked the time on her phone as she stepped onto the pavement. “Not too bad.”
“You’re fifteen minutes late,” a terse voice called.
Karlie glanced up to see Josh frowning at her as he leaned against his car, hands shoved deep into his pockets. His chauffeur was already waiting in the driver’s seat, car idling.
Oh boy here we go, Karlie thought, plastering an easy smile on her face.
“Sorry about that Josh,” she said walking up to him. “You know me, I can’t ever be on time for anything.”
“Mmm,” Josh grunted, mouth twisted into something that may have resembled a smile, if you squinted.
“Good to see you too,” Karlie quipped tugging him close for a quick hug.
“Yeah well,” Josh returned the hug with one arm. “Whatever it is you want to talk about I hope it’s important. I had to put off another meeting to fit this one in.”
“And I appreciate that. I really do,” Karlie said, genuine. “And it is important. I didn’t want to talk about this over the phone.”
“I’m sure it is,” Josh said offhandedly. “Come on, we’d better go.”
Not bothering to open the car door for her, he moved to his side behind the driver’s seat and climbed in. Karlie sighed and let herself in, buckling up as the car peeled away from the sidewalk.
--------------------------------------------
A tense silence filled the car as they drove. Josh was incessantly checking his phone, barely sparing her any small talk. Karlie on the other hand was too preoccupied with rehearsing how their next conversation would pan out to do much else.
In her head, Karlie had already compiled a shortlist of people who were trustworthy and important enough to know the truth about her and Taylor. Kristine, obviously, the only one in her family who knew about their shared dreams. Cara, who gave her so much love and support that day she realised Taylor was a real person. Her mother, maybe, if her relationship with Taylor progressed far enough.
But one thing was certain, Josh was not part of that list. Which led to the question of how she could explain all of this to Josh without sounding crazy? With a move as big as the one she was about to make, he would want a damn good reason for her decision. A reason she couldn’t give him in full. But she couldn’t just lie about it. She owed him some semblance of the truth.
But as they parked outside their destination, Karlie was jerked out of her thoughts by the unmistakable sound of paparazzi. Glancing out the window, she was greeted with a wall of photographers, cameras creating a riot of clicks and flashes, all calling out her name.
“Seriously?” Karlie said, even as she spared them a courteous smile. “How’d they know we’d be here?”
“I called them,” Josh said briskly. Karlie turned to him, incredulous.
“What? Why?”
“Our schedules won’t line up like this for a few months. We have to take any opportunity we can get to be seen together. Come on,” he said, opening his door. “We’d better hold hands.”
Karlie just shook her head, getting out of the car herself. “Unbelievable,” she muttered.
As annoyed as she was, Karlie consciously forced herself to relax. She wouldn’t win this if she wasn’t calm and collected.
Hand in hand, she and Josh made the short walk up the sidewalk into the building, cameras flashing after them. She could see the headline now, adorning the banner of some trashy gossip website, “Karlie Kloss enjoys romantic date with boyfriend Joshua Kushner at high profile New York hotel.”
Urgh.
A few short weeks ago, an article like that wouldn’t have bothered her. But after meeting Taylor, the thought of those words being released into the world made her stomach turn to acid, the hand that wasn’t hanging limply in Josh’s grip involuntarily tightening to a fist.
Meeting at a well-known, very public hotel wasn’t even her idea. Had it been up to her, they would have met somewhere far more private. But Josh had insisted. So there they were. That was how it always had been.
The second they had passed through the hotel’s thick revolving doors, Josh dropped her hand.
“This way,” he said, setting off in the direction of the hotel’s restaurant. He didn’t even look back to see if Karlie was following.
As a waiter led them to their reserved table, Karlie glanced around their surroundings with a grimace, a squirm of nervousness creeping up her gut. Enormous windows, crowded tables, open floorplan, waiters and waitresses every five steps you took, the restaurant lacked any and all privacy. As much as she had rehearsed what she was going to say, she had no idea how Josh would react. The last thing she wanted was to cause a scene in public with her “boyfriend.”
As they arrived at their table, Josh sat down and promptly opened up a menu. Karlie raised her eyebrows as she pulled a chair out for herself.
“Well,” she cleared her throat. “Um, thank you again for meeting me.”
Josh made a sound halfway between a grunt and a noise of agreement, not looking up.
“You know I wouldn’t have asked to meet on such short notice if it wasn’t something important,” she continued. “And I know time is very important to you, and I respect that, so I’m just going to go ahead and say it.”
Karlie took a deep breath. Here goes, she thought. “Josh, I want-”
“Morning folks!” an overly-cheery waiter sidled up to their table. “What can I get for you lovely people today?”
You’ve got to be kidding, Karlie thought, but flashed a smile nonetheless.
“Oh, we’re not having anyth-”
“Yeah, I’ve got a question about the breakfast special,” Josh interrupted.
“Josh!” Karlie hissed.
“Sure thing honey!” the waiter chirped with far too much perkiness for that hour of the morning.
Karlie proceeded to gape open-mouthed as Josh wasted five minutes ordering his breakfast. By the time they were done, she was beginning to get impatient. As the waiter left with their menus, Josh immediately went back to checking his phone.
“Josh,” she snapped. With a sigh and exaggerated slowness, Josh put down his phone and finally turned his attention to her.
“Alright Karlie, what’s so important?”
“I’m not renewing the contract.”
Silence. Josh’s jaw sagged open, eyes wider than she had ever seen them. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, she might have found it funny.
“What do you mean you’re not renewing the contract?” he asked. “We talked about this, we agreed on this months ago Karlie. Everything’s already set to go ahead. Our current contract expires next week, and we agreed to start the new cycle immediately afterwards.”
“I know,” Karlie said calmly. “That’s why I wanted to meet with you right away. I’m not renewing it.”
Josh let out an incredulous laugh, which was cut short as he saw the determination in her eyes. “You’re serious about this?”
“I am.”
“Jesus Karlie,” Josh ran a hand down his face. “Why now? We’ve had so many discussions about this already and I didn’t hear you protest once. What’s changed?”
Karlie took a deep breath. Here it was.
“I’ve met the person I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with,” she said simply.
Josh stared at her like she had just grown a second nose.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No,” Karlie said with a steady shake of her head.
“Hang on, hang on,” Josh waved his hand, frowning. “I only saw you a month ago. How can you meet someone, get to know them, and be certain you’ll marry them in the span of one month? When did you meet her? I’m assuming it’s a her.”
Karlie took a deep breath. “I meet her recently.”
“How recently?”
“Yesterday.”
The incredulous look on Josh’s face shifted to a stormy expression in the blink of an eye.
“Are you fucking kidding me Karlie?” he hissed. “What, you have a one-night stand with some girl and just like that you’re ready to throw away months of planning? You’re ready to leave an agreement that’s worked for years already?”
Karlie winced at Josh’s snide remark, but kept her gaze steady. “Josh, I can’t tell you all the details, but I can tell you without any doubt that I belong with her. You’re just going to have to trust me on this.”
Josh ran his hands through his hair. “Fucking hell. Can’t you complete this next phase of the contract and then reconsider this? Terminating the arrangement so suddenly isn’t a good idea. Can’t you just go through with it until it expires and then see if this girl of yours is still around?”
“The next phase of the contract lasts for four years. That’s four years of lying to her. And I’m not about to do that,” Karlie said adamantly.
“Alright, so tell her then,” Josh said, irritation lacing his voice. “Tell her about our arrangement, about the contract. If she wants to be with you, then she’ll have to just accept that this is what we do. This is what we have always done. And if she can’t deal with that, then that’s on her. It’s not our problem.”
“No,” Karlie shook her head. “Absolutely not. That’s not fair on either of us.”
“So what? We just cut our losses now? Say ‘hey thanks, it’s been a good run’ and drop everything we’ve been working on, building up for years? That’s really what you want to do?”
Karlie paused, letting his words hang in the air. “Yes.”
Josh sighed. “It’s good publicity Karlie. You know that. Especially in the modelling industry. We have such an easy narrative to sell. Unless you go public with your new girl, people will start to ask why such an up-and-coming model hasn’t got a boyfriend.”
“Maybe,” Karlie agreed. “But is it such a bad thing to be known for my work ethic and the effort I put into my job? Rather than my love life? We’re not exactly A-list Josh. People barely know we’re supposed to be together.”
Josh’s face twisted into an ugly frown. “I need this, Karlie. Many of my business partners aren’t exactly LGBT allies. I can’t let them find out what I am.”
“I know,” Karlie said gently. “But this arrangement isn’t fair to you either. Can you honestly tell me that you’re 100% comfortable with what we’re doing?”
“It’s good for business,” Josh retorted.
“Forget business,” Karlie snapped. “I’m talking about you, Josh. Look at me and tell me honestly that our arrangement isn’t taxing on you too. Tell me that you’re not tired of pretending and lying about who you are. Tell me the thought of doing it for another four years doesn’t make you feel exhausted.”
Josh’s lips drew themselves into a thin line. He remained silent, but Karlie could tell that her words had hit a nerve.
“It was a good arrangement at first,” Karlie said gently, “but it’s become more trouble than it’s worth. We don’t have to do this anymore. And as for your business partners, you can always play up the ‘successful bachelor’ routine. I’m sure they’d go for that as much as they have for our relationship.”
Josh looked at her, the momentary gap in his bravado disappearing. When he spoke again, his voice was dark, all business and no emotion.
“I could take legal action against you,” he said lowly. “What then?”
It was Karlie’s turn to frown, a tiny flame of fear sparking in her chest before she quashed it.
“Legal action? On what grounds Josh? Refusing to sign a contract? Violating a contract that has already expired? That’s no basis for legal action and you know it.”
“I could tell everyone.”
Karlie was stunned into silence. “You’d out me?”
Josh nodded, eyes serious. Karlie stared at him incredulously. She was expecting idle threats, but she never thought Josh would try for such a low blow.
“You’d seriously out me? You’d rather start that war than let the contract just expire naturally?”
Josh said nothing, but slumped back in this chair, regarding her carefully.
“You won’t out me Josh,” she continued. “Because you’d be outing yourself in the process. If people find out I’m gay, they’ll wonder why I had a boyfriend in the first place. All the focus will turn to you. They’ll find out eventually.”
Josh maintained his caustic gaze for a beat longer, before she saw his shoulders deflate.
Karlie pressed on. “I’m not renewing the contract Josh. It was useful when we started, but things are different now. And continuing it isn’t going to be fair to anyone, least of all you and me. And I think you know that too.”
After a few terrifying moments of silence, Josh’s lips cracked into a rueful smile.
“Shame on me for always underestimating how smart you are,” he said regretfully. “You’ve really thought this through. And all for a girl you met yesterday.”
Karlie felt Taylor’s heart beat in tandem with her own. “She’s it, Josh. She’s the one for me. I’m sure of it.”
“Are you sure there’s no other way I could convince you otherwise?”
Karlie shook her head, an apologetic look on her face. “Afraid not.”
Josh levelled his gaze on her, mouth twisted in contempt. Karlie leaned forward on her elbows, attention focused entirely on him, trying to read what was running through his mind.
Please, she thought. Please, please, please.
Eventually, Josh gave a frustrated sigh, hands clenched into white-knuckled fists.
“Fucking hell Karlie. Do you know how much work this is going to be? We’ll have to scrap the waiting contracts and future stunts, discuss what narrative we’ll feed out… It’ll take weeks for everyone involved to finalise everything.”
Karlie said nothing, just held her breath and hoped. Please.
Josh let his fist fall heavily on the table, silverware clattering from the impact.
“Fine. Fine. You don’t have to renew the contract. We’re done.”
Karlie’s chair screeched in her haste to stand up. In two steps, she had Josh in the tightest and most heartfelt hug they had ever shared.
“Thank you!” she whisper-yelled. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“Hey, save it!” Josh wormed his way out of her grip. “Don’t get all grateful. I’m only doing this because there’s nothing I can do to force you into another contract. I’m still furious.”
“I know, I know,” Karlie said, trying to rein in her joy. “I just… oh thank you Josh.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “This girl of yours had better be worth all this. I still think you’ll regret this once she leaves you.”
“She won’t,” Karlie said confidently. “She is worth it. She is.”
Josh gave a non-committal grunt, glancing at the time on his phone. “Sure, sure. Something tells me you’ve got places to be.”
“I’m meeting her for brunch today, yeah,” she smiled shyly. “Mind if I…”
Josh waved his hand dismissively. “Go. I’ll get in contact with you to work out contingencies later.”
“Thank you, Josh. I mean it,” Karlie said, genuine.
Josh gave a wry smile. “I’ll see you around Karlie.”
“See you around.” With one last wave over her shoulder, Karlie left him sitting alone, and headed back out the giant revolving doors of the hotel.
As the morning sun hit her skin, Karlie closed her eyes, tipping her face towards the light. As she stepped outside into the daylight, she felt like floating, a heavy weight in her chest uncoiling at last.
She couldn’t exactly call Josh a friend, had known him too long to call him an acquaintance. What she had with him was… different. Friend or not, he had been a constant in her life for a long time, and time had a way of carving out spaces in hearts.
No, he wasn’t her friend, but she couldn’t help but feel a certain level of fondness towards him. Letting go of that constancy was hard. But it had to be done. It was time.
In that moment, Karlie felt nothing but hope. The future was looking bright. And she and Taylor could now face it together.
With her smile growing ever wider, Karlie flagged a taxi.
She had a date to get to.